DSP Plays Balding Gate 3

[JimiHendrix]

here we go boisen girls, goblin camp time.

Spoiler: new year, same belly

someone said bladerunner is steam-punk and phil seems to agree. phil also says he absolutely hated bladerunner. I won't lie, I've seen bladerunner. I thought it was okay, I didn't really care for it, but I'm also not a big cinema guy and I can see why it's so revered. phil however just says he hated it and fell asleep watching it several times.

"oh, volo is in here? i didn't even know that. the map just gave that away"

you literally saw volo get captured and carted away in the last stream.

phil has met mommy minthara.

"so wait, she wants an artifact.......she wants an artifact..oh.....wait a minute...the prisoner she's talking about is the leader of the druids, she's looking for an artifact from the druids. ohhhh..."

"is there a way to have minthara become part of your party without having to kill the druids?"

what a strange thing to say. why would he assume minthara can join his party?

phil tried to bribe a guard and they refuse, "i'm not accepting that. that's bullshit. if i had known they could magically see me i would not have tried to lockpick. that's bullshit, it's nonsense."

"that's bullshit and i'm glad i reloaded"

he's pissed.

phil has used his illithid wisdom for the first time.

"so the bear is going to attack the goblins and you don't have to do nothing? it'll do all the work for you. think about this...if i do this and i don't do anything about it, they shouldn't aggro to me, just to the bear, and it's JUST a bear...hmmm..."

"is there a possiblity this is an actual druid and not just a bear? we don't know, right?"

i mean, sounds like someone knows.

"i put my character there to do an attack of opportunity and they didn't."

because they used disengage.

phil hoof smashed the controller during magic missiles and accidentally fired half of them into the wall.

"if i didn't target this guy, then what the hell did i target? i targeted the pillar? how? whatever."

"this game is so complex man, it's so complex it's ridiculous. it's so insanely complex that i don't understand anything."

the thing that is "insanely complex" is that Fury runs out if you don't attack or get attacked every turn, which is explained on the tool tip.

someone sent phil some money asking how to apply to be an editor for his archive channel, phil simply responded that you can't. the end.

"so Volo is like the patches of D&D"

man's a real true consumer.

"good progress so far, let's split the part"

in 2 hours he has talked to minthara, saved halsin, and saved volo. the end.

past 40 minutes he's just going around the goblin camp looting stuff. absolutely nothing has happened.

after 31 hours phil has reached the "Lae'zel tries to kill you" cutscene.

"uhhhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....no?"

great reaction to lae'zel trying to stab him.

"who the hell is this?"

phil doesn't recognize his dream visitor, a character he customized.

phil is now trying to fight Dror Ragzlin in the last 10 minutes of the stream.

he's just fighting Ragzlin on the rafters, nothing interesting, he's not losing, he honestly hasn't even gotten hit so far.

he beat Ragzlin and clocked out. still has to fight Minthara and fight his way out of the goblin camp.

so, in 4 hours phil looted the goblin camp, freed halsin, freed zolo, and killed Dror Ragzlin and True Soul Gut. That's it. next stream he will be fighting his way out of the Goblin Camp and then getting mad at women trying to sleep with him to celebrate.

I apologize if these posts aren't as detailed as they should be, i've been distracted, I hope they still provide some useful recaps.

 

[LostMy1stAccount]

I'm going to check out at this point.
Its plain as day that he either watched someone else play ahead or gets spoonfed in his Dentscord at this point.
He magically knows how to engage every enemy from the get go and if his ginbrain forgets something, there are still the fags like Dentboxer (Iirc he was the one behind the "DSP from 10 years go"-sock) who post messages in the chat giving instructions what to do for literally every decision.

The playthrough is boring, trash content.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

The funny thing is, I fully believe Phil had to look up a guide for shooting down from the raftors, even though you'd think he'd know all about that by now. In all seriousness, it's a pretty basic strategy that I think most players figure out on their own and I'd even argue it's basically a tutorial for you to consider the map because there are both future opportunities to utilize the same strategy, as well as enemies who will do the same thing against you. But based on Phil's previous playstyle, there's just no way he's intuitive enough to plan ahead like that.

Asking about recruiting Minthara is also a clear sign he's read a guide because she's more or less a "secret NPC." For those not in the know, she's one of the leaders of the goblin army, and if you side with her, she'll show up in the next Act where you have the chance to help her again and then recruit her into your party. This was only really an option because during EA people liked the character, she was never meant to be a proper NPC and there's really nothing that hints she would be a party member because, well, she wasn't. But since release, there's been a few exploits people have discovered to recruit her without having to side with the goblins (which is typically considered not worth it because you lose access to a few different things of varying importance) There is technically an "approved" method to get her without siding with the grove, but it's basically just an exploit that Larian gave the go ahead to using and is pretty hard without a guide because it kinda requires tricking the system. I only mention all that because, as the wall of text explanation hopefully indicated, it's something that you need specific knowledge to even think about doing and not something that's going to come up in a blind playthrough.

Him "guessing" at Halsin is arguably another obvious sign of reading a guide. I only mention that specifically because he was trying to play it off as one of those genius guesses he seems to suddenly get all on his own after being so deep in thought he's just staring at his chat scrolling by and totally not reading it and rephrasing what his paypigs say. Pretty sure the game straight up tells you a few times that Halsin was captured in bear form, so if he mentioned remembering someone in the grove saying it and how that's probably Halsin I'd give him a gold star, but obviously that would require paying attention, so yeah, it's a guide.

Going back to Minthara, there might be some potential salt if he's trying to recruit her because even with handholding he might botch it. The rest of the goblin stuff is a breeze at his level, even without a guide I think he could get through without any trouble, it's that Phil-proof. There's still one fairly hard battle in the act that I don't think guides will cover because it's not technically a boss fight or anything, but is widely considered to be one of the hardest fights in the act if you are unprepared. But since he's going at Phil-pace, I'd say it's 3 or 4 streams away at minimum. Maybe even double that with just how little progress he's making, but guide usage might speed things up.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

I'm going to check out at this point.
Its plain as day that he either watched someone else play ahead or gets spoonfed in his Dentscord at this point.
He magically knows how to engage every enemy from the get go and if his ginbrain forgets something, there are still the fags like Dentboxer (Iirc he was the one behind the "DSP from 10 years go"-sock) who post messages in the chat giving instructions what to do for literally every decision.

The playthrough is boring, trash content.

Yeah, he's being spoonfed. When I got into the goblin camp, that was really when I first started getting the hang of high ground advantage and shoving. The gears aren't clicking in his head on their own, instead people are telling him what to do. You don't figure out the whole fighting Dror Ragzlin in the rafters thing (high ground and mass damage shoves) on your own if you've been asking your chat what to do all game, and then going into every Sessions with a bad attitude.

 

[Very Honest Content]

Once the #eldenringlibrary discord leak happened, the question of whether Phil "cheats" at games through hand-holding was decisively addressed, he cheats in every single game he can, and the ones he doesn't because he can't, he loses at and calls the other player a cheater for beating him in it fair and square.

 

[Wasabi Panda]

I'm going to check out at this point.
Its plain as day that he either watched someone else play ahead or gets spoonfed in his Dentscord at this point.
He magically knows how to engage every enemy from the get go and if his ginbrain forgets something, there are still the fags like Dentboxer (Iirc he was the one behind the "DSP from 10 years go"-sock) who post messages in the chat giving instructions what to do for literally every decision.

The playthrough is boring, trash content.

yeah it was obvious how he knew Asterion was a vampire as soon as he met him, he commented something about him being a vampire. SURE you could assume this looking at him but phil is a literal idiot who can't even comprehend hypothetical situation, he has no imagination and is too drunk, stupid or both to understand context clues of how Asterion talked or what he was wearing wasn't typical for an elf.

The only entertaining part is how bad his acting is and how he clearly either he read the guide like FB comment section reads an article or his gin brain forgot what to do half way through a thought.
My YT feed is full of content creators playing the game some it's thier first cRPG and it's fun to watch them learn and fuck around doing stupid shit or experimenting, DSP is like AI you got on Temu playing the game.

His ego is so fragile for him to go in blind, he has to win, listen to him bitch that a 70% to hit attack misses.

 

[LostMy1stAccount]

yeah it was obvious how he knew Asterion was a vampire as soon as he met him, he commented something about him being a vampire. SURE you could assume this looking at him but phil is a literal idiot who can't even comprehend hypothetical situation, he has no imagination and is too drunk, stupid or both to understand context clues of how Asterion talked or what he was wearing wasn't typical for an elf.

Ok, I give him the Astarion bit since he checked out the Companion characters backstory on stream during the character creation.
(I did the same in my first playthrough and also knew that Astarion is a vampire from the get go).
But the bit with Minthara was so blatantly obvious and like you said, his ego is so fucking fragile that he has to look up things in advance in an effort to not look like a complete mong.

 

[Love Is Blue]

yeah it was obvious how he knew Asterion was a vampire as soon as he met him, he commented something about him being a vampire. SURE you could assume this looking at him but phil is a literal idiot who can't even comprehend hypothetical situation, he has no imagination and is too drunk, stupid or both to understand context clues of how Asterion talked or what he was wearing wasn't typical for an elf.

I'll give my favorite polack faggot the benefit of the doubt, he could have just seen the bite marks on Astarion's neck.
but he still looks up everything about even the smallest amount of challenge in every game desu

 

[Whaler]

Yeah, he's being spoonfed. When I got into the goblin camp, that was really when I first started getting the hang of high ground advantage and shoving. The gears aren't clicking in his head on their own, instead people are telling him what to do. You don't figure out the whole fighting Dror Ragzlin in the rafters thing (high ground and mass damage shoves) on your own if you've been asking your chat what to do all game, and then going into every Sessions with a bad attitude.

The big giveaway for him being handheld/looking up a guide should be the Ragzlin fight. There's no way he knew the easy/best way to fight him was by using systems he's never used and probably never knew they existed until he started that fight. The idea he walked into that and then suddenly realized high ground + shoves = perfect combo is so far beyond Phils intelligence that it would be insult to everybody who's played the game to insist otherwise.

 

[Corpun]

Yeah, he's being spoonfed. When I got into the goblin camp, that was really when I first started getting the hang of high ground advantage and shoving. The gears aren't clicking in his head on their own, instead people are telling him what to do. You don't figure out the whole fighting Dror Ragzlin in the rafters thing (high ground and mass damage shoves) on your own if you've been asking your chat what to do all game, and then going into every Sessions with a bad attitude.

Once the #eldenringlibrary discord leak happened, the question of whether Phil "cheats" at games through hand-holding was decisively addressed, he cheats in every single game he can, and the ones he doesn't because he can't, he loses at and calls the other player a cheater for beating him in it fair and square.

The hidden benefit to this handholding is that he doesn't actually retain the information given, or at least not all of it. It's why he never seems to improve at all despite chat telling him what to do and where to go all the time. His brain literally doesn't learn or memorize stuff because he goes into every single thing with the presumption chat will tell him what he should be doing.

 

[JimiHendrix]

yeah it was obvious how he knew Asterion was a vampire as soon as he met him, he commented something about him being a vampire. SURE you could assume this looking at him but phil is a literal idiot who can't even comprehend hypothetical situation

as pointed out earlier it is straight up stated on the character select, which phil read on stream, that Astarion is a vampire. I know phil uses guides, i have literally physically seen him use them in the past, but I do not want people posting gotchas that don't exist, so I am pointing this out.

we're back boys, i was up until 6am talking to a woman about comic books, rolled out of bed 40 minutes ago, let's see what phil has in store for me today.

Spoiler: sleep deprived bald gate

phil is approaching minthara and has been advised to only knock her out, which is apparently the new way to recruit her.

phil is mad he can't explore the base freely and that everyone is aggro'd to him. despite him having a giant fucking ruckus in the main room and someone sounded the alarm, phils argument is "well they don't know it was ME, so, they shouldn't be attacking."

"what happened? what the hell just happened? i just took insane damage and i have no idea why."

a goblin stabbed you. hope that cleared it up for you.

"THAT WAS MY ACTION? IT USES AN ACTION TO CHANGE YOUR WEAPON? THAT'S RIDICULOUS, THAT'S SO FUCKING RIDICULOUS. that's incredibly stupid, it's never happened in any rpg i've played before. that's really dumb."

after 30 minutes of fighting, pohil accidentally turned off non-lethal attacks and murdered Minthara.

"another game mechanic, i don't know, the game doesn't explain it, how was i supposed to know that because i turned it off for wyll it applies to every other character? oh well, she's dead. i don't give a fuck."

"i was supposed to know that you get 2 actions from a speed potion?"

what did you think the "speed" did?

"i really don't know what to do here. if i revive her she'll probably aggro to me? i think i'll just keep her dead because i don't give a shit."

"you need to just have this knowledge of how things work by playing through it, so i'm learning the hard way"

that's how everyone learns anything phil. you learn by doing.

"this is such bullshit, the person who says they want to help you, wants you to eat more of them (mindflayer tadpoles), you want to get it out of your body and she wants me to eat more of them? no, stupid."

"oh, i'm calling it right now. i know what's going on. i'm calling it right now. i know exactly what's going on, i've figured it out. btw if i'm correct this is just a guess. she's one of the three people who controls the parasites, for sure, she's one of them, or she's involved. remember how whenever we talk to one of these people, we're talking to a silhouette, this is essentially ours. they're going to fool you into thinking they're trying to remove the parasite, but in reality, they're trying to control your every action."

he's entirely wrong btw.

"alright, i got a better theory now, i think i know exactly what's going on. i got an even better theory. she's the mindflayer, or she's one of the mindflayers and she's in control. and the mindflayers are pissed because someone is using the tadpoles against their will. she's telling you to destroy the tower so she can be back in control. she's playing you. the tadpole is showing you all this bullshit, all this magic, it's not really there. that's why they want you to go to the tower and stop the magic users because they're controlling the tadpoles and they want that to end. that's what i think btw. totally she doesn't exist, there's no way she's real, it's bullshit."

he's still wrong btw.

someone asked phil to do the romance option because of how meaningful it is, and phil did his usual snake laugh and said he wanted to fuck wyll. wyll is the only big buff black character in the game, fyi.

"FOR TEN TURNS SOMEONE GETS DOUBLE ACTIONS? THAT'S BUSTED."

phil has discovered Haste, just wait until he learns he can twin spell haste.

nothing has happened for the past hour. he has leveled up and been talking to NPCs and now started the celebration party.

layzil wants to fuck phil, phil is extremely unhappy about this.

"uhhhhhhhhhhh. that's like weird and way too forward. are you out of your mind?"

"what the fuck? that is weird shit, like, no. no thanks. no thank you. if you're going to act that bizarre, i think i'll pass."

stream recap: phil killed minthara and left the goblin camp. that's what he did in 4 hours. he seems to be getting slower as the game goes on.

 

[Guinan's hats]

holy shit i thought he might get to Nere today.

he really is going slower as the playthrough progresses. He finished 1/3 of a quest today.

 

[DiabeticSydePhil]

Phil's reaction to a woman being forward is so funny every time. He absolutely freaks out and gets autistic about it.

Makes sense why he never put out for Leanna.

 

[Crow Money]

as pointed out earlier it is straight up stated on the character select, which phil read on stream, that Astarion is a vampire. I know phil uses guides, i have literally physically seen him use them in the past, but I do not want people posting gotchas that don't exist, so I am pointing this out.

Also the fact that Astarion is a vampire and dogshit at concealing it is an early hint at his characterization and background so meta-wise it would be pointless to keep it hidden for dramatic purposes.

 

[Cucktry Roads]

Reading that summary, I have no doubt that if he goes to the mountain pass, he will kill the dream visitor, and he will kill the emperor upon first meeting.

 

[Corpun]

Phil's reaction to a woman being forward is so funny every time. He absolutely freaks out and gets autistic about it.

Makes sense why he never put out for Leanna.

Really makes me think that he has always been a weirdo sexual prude and all the made up stories about hot latinas and acting like a teenager going through puberty pre-Leanna/Khet were all massive overcompensations for being such a prude about sex. Makes sense that he never picked up on Leanna's hints even though every fucking video he made with her in it she is trying to put out for him.

 

[LiquidCancer]

30 hours in and hes almost made it to where I was in 10 hours on my blind first run.

 

[unapologetic weeaboo]

Reading that summary, I have no doubt that if he goes to the mountain pass, he will kill the dream visitor, and he will kill the emperor upon first meeting.

That one unfortunate misslick almost ended my Heroic play through. He will probably attack the emperor, lots of delicious salt.

 

[Jasper2K]

I'm going to check out at this point.
Its plain as day that he either watched someone else play ahead or gets spoonfed in his Dentscord at this point.
He magically knows how to engage every enemy from the get go and if his ginbrain forgets something, there are still the fags like Dentboxer (Iirc he was the one behind the "DSP from 10 years go"-sock) who post messages in the chat giving instructions what to do for literally every decision.

The playthrough is boring, trash content.

Heres the thing you morhan. These streams aren't FOR YOU. They are to chill with his audience. POSITIVE interactive meaningful streams.

 

[JimiHendrix]

i'm back from walking to the bakery. time for some real chill fat boy vibes

Spoiler: chill bald gate vibes

phil thought he was getting ready to move into act 2, he's not. he's no where close.

phil does not want to change his party make up and sees no reason to do so.

shadowheart has offered to share a bottle with phil.

"so obviously, here we go again, and this makes no sense. i've done nothing to make her like me, we didn't do any quests for her, i do feel that this game is--these relationships don't feel like they have meaning. in Mass Effect you have to go through the game, constantly being friendly, you usually have to do a big afinity questline for them to like you a lot, and then, hours later, they present you with the option. this game, what have we done? we haven't even talked to her, and look what they're offering? NO. it doesn't make sense. so, NO. this doesn't make sense at all. (Chat tells him you don't fuck Shadowheart now, which is true) This isn't romantic? they just go drinking? Huh? how does that even make sense? NO."

Shadowheart can not be fucked on the first night, she just offers to hang out with you. It's the start of her romance quest, but you can't fuck her. Phil still sperged out and said no, he's now saying the majority of this games coverage came from horny people.

"I heard more about the bullshit of this game instead of the game itself. They messed that up. If you're gonna have relationships in a game like this, have them build up for awhile"

Shadowheart's sex scene takes around 60 hours to do. Lae'zel's can take 10 hours. Different people have different views and desires when it comes to sex. Shocking, I know.

"they even make it sound sad. this is the first leg of this giant journey, it's so sad you go to bed alone. this game is horn-dog central. can you guys keep it in your pants when you play RPGs in the modern day so people aren't constantly pushing this on us?"

can you recognize, as a 41 year old man, that sex is pretty fucking cool and people like it?

"how weird these goblins don't aggro to me, they have no idea i killed the other goblins?"

so last stream, this fat retard, bitched that the goblins IN THE BASE HE WAS IN knew he was killing people, but now this stream, he says it's weird that Goblins who are like TWENTY MILES away from the base, don't know he's an enemy. really nothing going on in that retards head.

"it's so cumbersome to try to do anything in this games fast, you have to go through 400 menus and everythings too complicated. it feels like it'd be way easier to play on PC"

that's because it's a PC game phil.

"this is something that if you knew what was going on, you could've rushed in and saved people, but it's so cumbersome to try and play like this. it's slow, you can't target things right, you can't figure out what you're looking at."

skill issue.

"i wish i could've figured it out, but it's not impossible"

it's possible he mush mouthed "nigh impossible" but I heard a hard T, and i checked several times, so I'm putting it here. man is so stupid he doesn't even know what he's saying.

"aren't I already a lightning based character?"

uh, that sounds like something you should really know after 30 hours in the game?

"why does each item have a story?"

it's D&D?

phil couldn't find Beryn in the inn and ended up letting him burn to death. Phil blames the controls for this.

"definitely not for a first timer like me, maybe if i had mastered the controls or something, but i don't think so."

I was able to save him first time no problem.

"that seems like something like, if you play the game a bunch and understand the mechanics you'd have a chance there, i didn't have a chance there, right?"

i got up for like 40 minutes to talk to family about some stuff and Phil is still in the exact same area I left him in, so I assume I missed nothing.

"what the fuck was that? why did it explode? that was bullshit, there was no trap, it just exploded because it felt like it"

not seeing a trap =/= there being no trap.

phil has discovered the Githyanki patrol, which is honestly the HARDEST fight in act 1 for a lot of people, myself included. they really don't give a fuck.

phil just gave lae'zel a one handed rapier, for some reason?

"i want to rest to get my health back, but how do i even do that?"

35 hours into the game and is still asking shit like this.

phil has hit the save limit again, i believe this is 4 times now?

phil has approached the Githyanki patrol and for some reason, Lae'zel is just not doing anything. she's just letting phil handle it. i've never seen this and it's really funny. she hates his ass.

"why are they not addressing that layzil is with us? are they blind? are they stupid? this is really dumb that they did it this way"

honest to god, i've never seen this happen. usually Lae'zel will run up to the Githyanki, even leaving your party to do so, and for some reason she's not. guess phil shouldn't have turned down sex with her.

phil managed to avoid the fight with the Githyanki patrol due to seemingly pure retard luck. I would accuse him of reading a guide, but this does seem to be a legitimate game bug.

people are asking him to reload and phil is refusing, despite saving literally every 3 minutes.

"i'm not going back to the fucking basement and replaying 20 minutes, i'm not."

you save every 3 minutes, just fucking reload. i said he didn't look at a guide before, but his refusal to reload and do it normally is suspicious.

ok, phil has reloaded and is now doing the encounter properly.

phil has bypassed the githyanki patrol with lae'zels help and no fight, pity, because githyanki are really strong, but that's ok, there's more at the creche.

phil fought some fish people in the underdark, it was uninteresting.

phil got a tip saying "kinda funny your haters thought this would be a disaster playthrough"

i mean, i consider it a disaster, just not for the reasons people were expecting.

end of stream recap, baby. Phil found the Burning Fists and helped save someone, but left someone else to burn to death. Met the mercenaries and traded with them, met the Githyanki Patrol and talked to them, went back to the Underdark and fought some fish. "great progress today"