Community Munchausen's by Internet (Malingerers, Munchies, Spoonies, etc) - Feigning Illnesses for Attention

  • 🐕 I am attempting to get the site runnning as fast as possible. If you are experiencing slow page load times, please report it.
@unwieldy_object that is surprising. I suspect its cos GABA receptors take much longer to recover, once you have gone through the initial withdrawal from benzos, your ability to sleep and regulate anxiety will still take a very long time to get back to normal. Just not being able to sleep properly for months will drive a person mad.
From personal experience, benzos are way harder to get clean from than heroin. I was using about 300-400 bars a month a few years ago and it took me a year to wean down to an amount I could cold turkey off of, then it took months to be able to sleep right. The first few times I tried to get off I seized out and ended up in ICU. For a while there I was getting pure alprazolam powder and using up to half a gram a day.

On the mushy brain stuff, I donnu it definitely changes your brain chemistry whether it can ever go back to normal I guess I'll find out eventually, but when I was heavily addicted, I made 150k or more a year, now that I'm clean I rarely work more then a week or two a month simply because I don't need that much money anymore and I'm worried if I had all that extra money I would relapse.
This is just anecdotal and have no idea if it's true.
I had a relative who used to work in the prison system and they said that the heroin addicts weren't an issue, after they'd gone clean no problem but the ones addicted to benzos got real fucked up and continued to have issues from the drug abuse long after they were clean.

They put it "heroin in itself is no issue, if you could provide them with that they could function like anyone else, it's the stealing and living rough that makes them go crazy" while benzos in their opinion fucked up people's minds in a whole different way.
I could agree with this, I used to spend 5-10k a month on heroin and xanax, getting off heroin wasn't that hard getting off xanax almost killed me multiple times, and after a year of being clean from xanax I still crave them.
 
I was being hyperbolic, there definitely are functional addicts in high skilled jobs. I found a more recent study, it states "These preliminary findings suggest that heroin abuse is significantly associated with damage to white matter integrity." I think this is the one I read originally and I interpreted "A distinct entity, spongiform leukoencephalopathy, has been described mainly after inhalation of pre-heated heroin" as "mushy" cos I have no idea what it means.

Being able to use on top of methadone is exactly why addicts prefer it. Most over here only get on maintenance so they don't get sick if they can't get money to score, so they don't wanna be on something that will make them sick if they use.

@unwieldy_object that is surprising. I suspect its cos GABA receptors take much longer to recover, once you have gone through the initial withdrawal from benzos, your ability to sleep and regulate anxiety will still take a very long time to get back to normal. Just not being able to sleep properly for months will drive a person mad. PL, got addicted to heroin when my doctor told me I'd kill my liver if I kept drinking and abusing benzos, used heroin to make withdrawals tolerable, then couldn't stop. So have done withdrawals from both. Would take a smack rattle over benzos any time.
I was on benzos for several years, legal prescription for anxiety, in those days they were happy to pump you full with it.
But when I got off cold turkey I realised it had fucked me up and had actually increased my anxiety tenfold.
I had no adverse reactions to quitting and I'm thankful for having realised just how much worse it made everything.

Today I only get it at the dentist and it does its job if I take like one dose per six months and stay the hell away from it any other time.
So even if you're not abusing it the prescribed doses can fuck your mind.
 
I was on benzos for several years, legal prescription for anxiety, in those days they were happy to pump you full with it.
But when I got off cold turkey I realised it had fucked me up and had actually increased my anxiety tenfold.
I had no adverse reactions to quitting and I'm thankful for having realised just how much worse it made everything.

Today I only get it at the dentist and it does its job if I take like one dose per six months and stay the hell away from it any other time.
So even if you're not abusing it the prescribed doses can fuck your mind.
I was originally prescribed them too eventually, my doctor died and I just didn't have time to go find another and it was easy enough to get them off the street. The first time I was prescribed them I was about 17 and I had a prescription for them into my 40s, it used to be pretty common to be prescribed them but ever since the pharmacy bailout getting any form of prescriptions nowadays has gotten almost impossible
 
I was on benzos for several years, legal prescription for anxiety, in those days they were happy to pump you full with it.
But when I got off cold turkey I realised it had fucked me up and had actually increased my anxiety tenfold.
I had no adverse reactions to quitting and I'm thankful for having realised just how much worse it made everything.

Today I only get it at the dentist and it does its job if I take like one dose per six months and stay the hell away from it any other time.
So even if you're not abusing it the prescribed doses can fuck your mind.
So... couple things.. as I mildly pl. The usa is absolutely fucked on all controlled substances frankly but, as someone who has been on benzos for years. Taper down doses. Idgaf if your doc says oh its fine just stop. Nuh uh. Unless its gonna kill you if you don't. if you wanna get off of them or cut your dose, taper a little save some extra and the. Talk to your doc about stepping down a dose. They're almost always gonna be fine with a lower dose but if you mention getting off you may well be on your own. I suggest being prepared to deal with that if need be.

That assumes you're on them as a script and not inclined to abuse them if you have a few extra via this method.
 
Last edited:
I was being hyperbolic, there definitely are functional addicts in high skilled jobs. I found a more recent study, it states "These preliminary findings suggest that heroin abuse is significantly associated with damage to white matter integrity." I think this is the one I read originally and I interpreted "A distinct entity, spongiform leukoencephalopathy, has been described mainly after inhalation of pre-heated heroin" as "mushy" cos I have no idea what it means.

Being able to use on top of methadone is exactly why addicts prefer it. Most over here only get on maintenance so they don't get sick if they can't get money to score, so they don't wanna be on something that will make them sick if they use.

@unwieldy_object that is surprising. I suspect its cos GABA receptors take much longer to recover, once you have gone through the initial withdrawal from benzos, your ability to sleep and regulate anxiety will still take a very long time to get back to normal. Just not being able to sleep properly for months will drive a person mad. PL, got addicted to heroin when my doctor told me I'd kill my liver if I kept drinking and abusing benzos, used heroin to make withdrawals tolerable, then couldn't stop. So have done withdrawals from both. Would take a smack rattle over benzos any time.
It's a one-two punch of impairing actual brain function and then the personality/motivation factors. There might be opiate addicts in high skilled jobs but I doubt they start there while seriously addicted and I doubt they quit the habit before the job.
 
I checked to see if there was any discussion of the Maya Kowalski case, but the only thread I found was on A&H. While some of the comments are interesting, most of the thread is of questionable quality.

I honestly don’t know much about the case because I haven’t watched the Netflix doc or really kept track of it, but I’ve noticed people commenting on it on various social media platforms who are casting doubt on Munchausen’s even being real, which…idk, just look at Gypsy Rose. The Munchies in this thread go to beyond extreme lengths to make themselves ill and not only do their family members believe they are sick and victims of medical abuse, it seems to me like most of the Munchies themselves are convinced of it as well. All I can say is that a lot of the red flags that are seen in typical munchie cases show up in Maya’s case — vague and inconsistent symptoms, doctor shopping, extreme treatments, miraculous recoveries.

Does anyone else here have any opinions on this case?
I spent all of today day down a rabbit hole about this case after catching up on this thread. It sounds like the Netflix documentary is shit (imagine my shock); I’d be happy to get into the weeds of it with y’all if other people are still interested.
The case has everything: suicide, Florida privatized CPS, and a 10 year old being flown to Mexico for a medically induced ketamine coma as the first line of treatment for a rare disease!
 
I spent all of today day down a rabbit hole about this case after catching up on this thread. It sounds like the Netflix documentary is shit (imagine my shock); I’d be happy to get into the weeds of it with y’all if other people are still interested.
The case has everything: suicide, Florida privatized CPS, and a 10 year old being flown to Mexico for a medically induced ketamine coma as the first line of treatment for a rare disease!
Currently listening to season 3 of Nobody Should Believe Me (I think KFS recommended it a while back) which is about this case. Not finished yet, but yes it is absolutely nuts. Just putting a 10 year old through something that has a 50% chance of killing her, which the doctors told the parents. They also said she wasn't responding to the treatment, so wtf? Hoping to finish listening tomorrow. Can't believe the jury found in the families favour so will be interested to hear their interpretation. Interesting that Maya is now claiming sexual abuse while there. I do get that victims can wait to make allegations for all sorts of reasons but the timing is very fishy.

One thing really interesting in the podcast is that she interviews someone who is an expert in coercive control and child abuse but believes its not MbP. I may be biased cos of this thread and the rest of that podcast, but I absolutely can't see how it could not be MbP.. Apparently the jurors didn't see it that way either.

Would love to hear what you think and if there's any articles etc you found particularly interesting.
 
I was being hyperbolic, there definitely are functional addicts in high skilled jobs. I found a more recent study, it states "These preliminary findings suggest that heroin abuse is significantly associated with damage to white matter integrity." I think this is the one I read originally and I interpreted "A distinct entity, spongiform leukoencephalopathy, has been described mainly after inhalation of pre-heated heroin" as "mushy" cos I have no idea what it means.
The problem is that it’s hard to differentiate what damage is caused by opiates and what damage is caused by rough living, sleepless nights and pre-addiction issues.

Like it’s no secret for example that a large number of addicts have dual diagnosis.

Ultimately I think that opiates, by themselves, are a lot easier on the body than for example alcohol or cocaine.
Being able to use on top of methadone is exactly why addicts prefer it. Most over here only get on maintenance so they don't get sick if they can't get money to score, so they don't wanna be on something that will make them sick if they use.
They do the same with suboxone.

AFAIR the medium term success rates with suboxone aren’t all that great. (I think something like a third are still drug free after a year, which is statistically equal or worse than methadone. Depending on what study you use.)

But there are a lot of money in suboxone from the patents to docs slinging it for Medicaid cash, so it’s pimped as this new wondersruf against opiate addiction.

There are three drugs used for opiate dependency: Methadone, morphine and suboxone/Subutex.

They all have some problems they share and also some individual issues.

And as always, there are two kinds of addicts: The ones that try to quit/get better, and the ones who use methadone/sub/morphine as their baseline drug to get well, and use on top.

(In either case I guess it’s a win. If you use methadone and get high on top, I guess that means less cars you break into or whatever.)

The problem is that governments love easy fixes and always have lots of cash to throw at things like new “wonder drugs” like suboxone. Just like methadone before it.

But we already know how to “cure” addicts. The gold standard in abstinence treatments (which are the programs they run for doctors) have a success rate of around 80%.

The problem is that it takes 6-12 months of rehab and follow up care and is expensive as hell.

So everyone gets 30 days in a shitty rehab, and prescription for suboxone. Rincenrepeat six months later when they invariably end up shooting smack again.

BTW: Glad to see that there are quite a few ex addicts here on the farms who are doing well. Not gonna PL but I’ve been there too.

@unwieldy_object that is surprising. I suspect its cos GABA receptors take much longer to recover, once you have gone through the initial withdrawal from benzos, your ability to sleep and regulate anxiety will still take a very long time to get back to normal. Just not being able to sleep properly for months will drive a person mad. PL, got addicted to heroin when my doctor told me I'd kill my liver if I kept drinking and abusing benzos, used heroin to make withdrawals tolerable, then couldn't stop. So have done withdrawals from both. Would take a smack rattle over benzos any time.

Yeah, benzo withdrawal can actually kill you, whereas heroin just makes you wish you were dead. (Aside from like one or few edge cases where extreme dehydration led to death.)

Benzo tolerance also rises incredibly fast, probably even faster than with opiates.

I remember back in the day in these shady private forums, you had folks ordering dirt cheap benzos from India for like 20$ for 100.

And of course you had some who developed these absolutely insane habits. Talking about 20-30 2mg klonopin a day just to be able to function and not seize out.

They cut down on those it seems, but it’s probably even worse today with research benzos off the dark web.
 
Sperg

Buprenorphine is a partial agonist with a very high affinity to the receptor that opiates bind to. This means that if you take heroin after you took bup you have some protection from overdosing since there’s already a bup molecule there that won’t let go. (It also means that if you took heroin recently and try to top up afterwards with bup you might go into withdrawal).

There’s seldom need for “massive doses” of bup, because, simplified, there aren’t enough receptors for more than, like, 32 mg/day!

PL: I’m in addiction medicine. I know bup/methadone isn’t for everyone, but it’s evidence based. I fucking hate the benzos, though -they fuck everything up, dosing of bup/methadone gets risky, and I’ve seen two benzo DTs since the new year began (I work inpatient). I can’t even blame colleagues because in my country prescribing benzos is very restrictive- it’s all Serbian Xanax. Sorry, MATIRL. Let’s go back to laughing at people who LARP real problems now.
 
Last edited:
Sperg

Buprenorphine is a partial agonist with a very high affinity to the receptor that opiates bind to. This means that if you take heroin after you took bup you have some protection from overdosing since there’s already a bup molecule there that won’t let go. (It also means that if you took heroin recently and try to top up afterwards with bup you might go into withdrawal).

There’s seldom need for “massive doses” of bup, because, simplified, there aren’t enough receptors for more than, like, 32 mg/day!

PL: I’m in addiction medicine. I know bup/methadone isn’t for everyone, but it’s evidence based. I fucking hate the benzos, though -they fuck everything up, dosing of bup/methadone gets risky, and I’ve seen two benzo DTs since the new year began (I work inpatient). I can’t even blame colleagues because in my country prescribing benzos is very restrictive- it’s all Serbian Xanax. Sorry, MATIRL. Let’s go back to laughing at people who LARP real problems now.

Yeah, pretty sure that “don’t take subs/bupe if you took smack a few hours ago” is one of the first thing they teach you in junkie school.

Precipitated withdrawal is something you live and learn from.

A lot of Ado made about the ceiling effect (just like one of the myths about methadone was that “it keeps you from getting high”) where in reality you’ll get high if you take enough. It just raises tolerance real fast.

My main problem with bupe is that it’s pushed as this wonder drug, just like methadone back in the day (and they even push some of the same half truths like “it can’t get you high and PREVENTS you from getting high”.) but at the end of the day the relapse rates aren’t exactly a huuuge success.

(It’s also a weird fucking drug. Anecdotally it seems a lot more efficient at lower dosages which may have something to do with the way it metabolizes. Like I’ve met plenty of addicts who are stuck on tiny dosages of Buprenorphine for years and can’t kick it because of the half-life and side effects.)

All three maintenance drugs: Buprenorphine, morphine and methadone have their place, but it sucks that it’s pushed like an easy fix instead of investing the time and resources into things like long term rehab.
 
It's a one-two punch of impairing actual brain function and then the personality/motivation factors. There might be opiate addicts in high skilled jobs but I doubt they start there while seriously addicted and I doubt they quit the habit before the job.
I donnu I was heavily addicted when I first started what I do, I've been in my field for 20 yrs. I can't think of anything changed in my personality but my motivations have changed before and after drug use
There are three drugs used for opiate dependency: Methadone, morphine and suboxone/Subutex.
There's also viterall now, I've never used it but I was told you take like one shot of that shit a year and it blocks opiates for a year.
 
I donnu I was heavily addicted when I first started what I do, I've been in my field for 20 yrs. I can't think of anything changed in my personality but my motivations have changed before and after drug use
Yeah. At some point you (hopefully) reach the point of being DONE. Good on you.
There's also viterall now, I've never used it but I was told you take like one shot of that shit a year and it blocks opiates for a year.
Vivitrol?

It’s not really new, naltrexone has been known for a long ass time.

The patent of turning it into a super long release shot is new though.

Aside from that, I’d think you’d have to be crazy to take something that fundamentally fucks with your mood and brain like naltrexone in the form of a shot that lasts a month.

I’m sure the doctors and pharmbros love it though. Why charge a few cents a day for a naltrexone pill when you can charge thousands for a shot?

Naltrexone is supposed to be really efficient against alcoholism though.
It’s called the Sinclair method, where you take the pill AND KEEP DRINKING.

Supposedly it fucks with your reward system and severs the connection between drinking and endorphins in alcoholics.

(Don’t know if there has been any studies about the efficacy of this, but I’ve seen ex Alkies talk about it as life-changing.)
 
Last edited:
Over here addiction treatment strongly advocates total abstinence from all substances because the belief is that the addict brain just isn't wired to be able to do them sensibly. Anecdotally I believe this to be true, seen someone in recovery from heroin addiction have "just one drink" arrested within 12 hours cos it ended up a massive polydrug bender and he caused havoc.

This is why they'll tell people in recovery from restrictive eating disorders to avoid future dieting attempts: something in the brain's wiring or chemistry is just fundamentally wrong, and they can't diet just a little bit. It's all or nothing. This is, incidentally, what the anti-diet people over in the FA thread have co-opted to justify some of their "dieting will totally make me be anorexic" arguments. How you reconcile the idea that dieting will make you anorexic with the idea that diets inevitably fail is beyond me.

On the subject of ketamine, queasy.with.a.smile (Kim), who recently passed away, was having ketamine treatments for treatment-resistant depression. I scanned her grid posts and couldn't find any references to it at a quick glance; I think she posted about it mainly in stories. She was admitted to the hospital for the infusions, though that may have been because she had quite a few serious medical issues by that point. She really did have very severe depression in the wake of her mother's death and had not had any luck with other treatments. She said that she thought the treatments were helping, and she actually did seem a bit brighter overall. The treatments were ongoing when she died (cause of death still unknown).
 
All three maintenance drugs: Buprenorphine, morphine and methadone have their place, but it sucks that it’s pushed like an easy fix instead of investing the time and resources into things like long term rehab.
In my experience you’re more likely to achieve long term rehab if you can get the cycle of highs-withdrawals-cravings under control with maintenance drugs. You start there, the user gets their shit in order with routines and feeling good about being a responsible adult, level of functioning increases, you know, establishes a life outside of the Life. Then you can start tapering and it’s sometimes successful.

I see old timers who just quit, though. Both heroin & maintenance. And good for them!

ETA but it’s all a waste of time if someone isn’t done using yet.
 
Last edited:
Yeah. At some point you (hopefully) reach the point of being DONE. Good on you.

Vivitrol?

It’s not really new, naltrexone has been known for a long ass time.

The patent of turning it into a super long release shot is new though.

Aside from that, I’d think you’d have to be crazy to take something that fundamentally fucks with your mood and brain like naltrexone in the form of a shot that lasts a month.

I’m sure the doctors and pharmbros love it though. Why charge a few cents a day for a naltrexone pill when you can charge thousands for a shot?

Naltrexone is supposed to be really efficient against alcoholism though.
It’s called the Sinclair method, where you take the pill AND KEEP DRINKING.

Supposedly it fucks with your reward system and severs the connection between drinking and endorphins in alcoholics.

(Don’t know if there has been any studies about the efficacy of this, but I’ve seen ex Alkies talk about it as life-changing.)

I've known alcoholics who genuinely wanted to get better and would take naltrexone, drink until they had a massively inflated blood alcohol content because they couldn't feel the buzz, and then either think they're ok to drive and/or get really sick. But I guess the persistent ones could take nights like that as a learning lesson.

I have my own experiences with naltrexone w/r/t heroin, but to keep this brief, I've been clean but on suboxone for about seven years at this point. I'm very thankful for it since it saved my life, but doctors aren't motivated to get people off of it when it creates a forever-patient. I only intended to be on it long enough to get through the early months of recovery, but I suppose being off heroin was such a relief that I ended up just settling into it. Sad, many such cases, etc. It's clearly on me to taper down, but the idea of withdrawals is all the more terrifying now after not dealing with them for so long. Not sure I'd consider ketamine yet though. Sorry to sperg, it's just so hard to find other knowledgeable people to chat about this with.

Re: Maya -- I mentioned this earlier, but after following the Maya trial, it struck me as a very clear case of MBP. You have to consider the exposure to munchies that an average normie on a jury is going to have though. They aren't going to understand the motivation for a child to act how Maya did, or that there are slimy doctors out there that would endanger a ten-year-old's life for no reason. Also, the mother's hooks were so deeply embedded in the brains of the family that they made very convincing witnesses. It follows many of the patterns we see in this thread though.
 
This is why they'll tell people in recovery from restrictive eating disorders to avoid future dieting attempts: something in the brain's wiring or chemistry is just fundamentally wrong, and they can't diet just a little bit. It's all or nothing.

Funny you bring this up. I'm 3 years clean (Dope, alcohol and benzos) after using Suboxone for the first year and change. I had gained some weight recently and started dieting. I noticed the laat week or 2 I can go a day or 2 without eatting no problem. And to me this seemed so easy! Guess I should watch my habits a little better!

On the topic, while I was in recovery I also started working/volunteering with addicts. 2 years doing that, and I'm the only one who was on Subs and has stayed clean. It definitely has more to do with the other work I was doing on myself, but I dont know if i would have gotten that far without the subs.

Without the mental health resources needed to do the extta work, the success rate is extremely low.
 
In my experience you’re more likely to achieve long term rehab if you can get the cycle of highs-withdrawals-cravings under control with maintenance drugs. You start there, the user gets their shit in order with routines and feeling good about being a responsible adult, level of functioning increases, you know, establishes a life outside of the Life. Then you can start tapering and it’s sometimes successful.

I see old timers who just quit, though. Both heroin & maintenance. And good for them!

ETA but it’s all a waste of time if someone isn’t done using yet.
more heroin sperging
If you don't work on the areas of your life that are lacking, then you won't get clean. And like you mentioned you have to be ready to put the work in or you won't stay clean, I tried many times before I was ready to give it up and just relapsed again. What did it for me was all this fent, I'd probably still be using if pain pills or real heroin was still easy to get like it was 10 yrs ago.
 
PAIGE

Sorry to be THAT person, especially when there are some great and dedicated posters on this thread. And of course, Thank you @Kate Farms Shill.
But
I’m not on social media except here and YT (and don’t rawdog, anyway…)
So
Does anybody know what’s going on with Paige with the missing fingers? She’s one of my favourite munchies/malingerers and I’ve been so curious for what seems like a very long time.

Anybody have a clue. Have I missed her updates or did she go dark?

Anyways. Thank you to kFS and all the other posters that do a big service by bringing these strange people to light.
 
Men do have worse skin, because from what I understand, testosterone can lower the production of collagen.
They also don't bother to do anything to care for it. Once you're over 25 your habits start showing in your face and staying there. Men aren't raised being taught to care for their facial skin and just think that turning into dried dog bait before the age of 40 is normal.
 
PAIGE

Does anybody know what’s going on with Paige with the missing fingers? She’s one of my favourite munchies/malingerers and I’ve been so curious for what seems like a very long time.

Anybody have a clue. Have I missed her updates or did she go dark?
She's alive, but either deleted her socials or was banned:

Here's a backup of her insta:

An archive of links upto Feb 2022:

I found all this by searching this thread for "Paige"
 
Back