The Julays Ninth Annual Lolcow Awards 2023 - Which lolcow will claim the throne?

[Septic Tank Bomber]

Ralph's actually flourishing for once in his life. I can't hate on a guy for dropping like 150 lbs., sobering up, and getting a girlfriend.

He went super nova when whorese left the stable then falled out with nick Fuentes, all before September. Now he's but a husk of his flattened gunt

 

[Pomniman]

Leave the butthurt in 2023. Now is the time for graciousness. Old Balldo is just waiting for you to plumb his depths. Congratulations to Nick. When his new OP is out, the butthurt complaints will probably still be happening, while other discerning readers might finally understand more thoroughly just why he won. Excellent job, Balldo.
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Uhmayzin'. The only thing I would've added is a check for a million dollars addressed to Jewsh.

 

[Atomic Ant]

Its not too late bossman take those 621 votes and put em all on ROJO

 

[Ainchiemi]

Lame winner.

 

[Polentic]

In my eyes, it was either Ethan Ralph or Bossmanjack, what happened to Nick Rekeita this year? Someone send a summary I'm curious since I never followed him.

 

[ConsentAccidentVictimNo98]

In my eyes, it was either Ethan Ralph or Bossmanjack, what happened to Nick Rekeita this year? Someone send a summary I'm curious since I never followed him.

A very explosive mid life crisis with drinking too much and him wanting to fuck a troon who goes by "mandy".

 

[DaleMcGuy]

What are the odds Nick actually acknowledges this win on stream and pretends to not care/dismisses it? 70-30?

If he was still actively getting hammered on stream, guaranteed multi hour copesplaining.
Now he is trying to get his Rumble contract back by actually covering topics again for "Good Boy January". He is even dodging the Mandy stuff, so unless he snaps chances are low atm.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

A very explosive mid life crisis with drinking too much and him wanting to fuck a troon who goes by "mandy".

The Mandy thing was funny, but no need to embellish it. There's no evidence of the cat fisher being a troon (that I'm aware of), it was just an old guy larping as a chick and Rekeita fell for it hook, line, and sinker, embarrassing himself multiple times in the process.

 

[God's strongest milkman]

So, what building do we to have to stand infront of to protest the results and subsequently get thrown into the pee pee poo poo rape dungeon for the next 10 years.

Whatever gambling website HQ is nearest to you, threaten them to offer Null a bribe to make BMJ the winner.

 

[Beige]

Really? I was expecting to see him go in a gigaspiral unlike like anything so far, once the 2-4 month delay after the invocation was over, but I think you jinxed it by electing him loty prematurely.

100% agree.

I voted for BMJ over Rekieta because he was a highly entertaining flaming gasoline explosion-in-progress from Day 1. I understand how his gambling addiction might be kind of grim and hit too close to home for some people, but he's so monumentally retarded that he tunnels through the Earth and comes back around to being hilarious.

Bossman isn't some sad, depressing story of a guy going to a casino and blowing his kid's college tuition or rent money at the blackjack table. He's a guy losing all of his money everyday on fucking virtual slot machines, the most obviously rigged thing ever. Money that is given to him through sponsorships with said casino, plus whatever he makes through Kick, totalling several thousand a month. All on top of being an arrogant, spastic, literal fucking crackhead, while living with and being supported by his parents. I wish the best for the dude, but any legitimate pity is entirely misplaced.


Rekieta on the other hand, is a different story. He's had farther to fall than BMJ, but so far Nick's just been more weird, sloppy, and embarrassing rather than anything super entertaining. It's (ironically) like watching an acquaintance developing a substance abuse problem: you're trying to judge how much of their personality change and bad decision making is the result of drugs, or some hitherto unknown scumminess that they are no longer able to hide. Eventually you resolve to just distance yourself and wait for the implosion. We haven't hit that surreal point of catastrophe yet, like Ralph moving to Mexico, or Chris catching an incest charge. Rest assured, it's coming, but this is premature.

This year's vote results are pretty indicative of Null's whole explanation of how the worst detractors are former fans, and Nick's win really goes to show how many people used to like him and have totally lost respect for him.

 

[whatever I feel like]

Shame bossman didn't take it. Well, there's always next year, just gotta keep pulling that virtual lever.

 

[Kung Pow]

BMJ gives constant juice, but his shtick is predictable and not all that interesting. Oh, he went apeshit for the fifth time this month? I mean, it is fun watching him, but to me he is just the goyslop of lolcows. It is fine from time to time, but not everyday and not the same thing.

And now compare him to Balldo, who is fucking his almost perfect life over some 41 year old man catfish who couldn't get over his high school crush that Balldo said that he would fuck the shit out of.

 

[Fapcop]

This sucks Bossman bros!

Rekieta is something else, but doesn’t quite make lolcow of the year imho.

(Now if he had been absolutely hammered like on that recent stream, EVERY stream, or did another balldo I could get behind him.)

But as it is, most of the Rekieta stuff is blown out of proportions by ex fans of his.

But as another fave lolcow of mine always says: Is what it is.

The Mandy thing was funny, but no need to embellish it. There's no evidence of the cat fisher being a troon (that I'm aware of), it was just an old guy larping as a chick and Rekeita fell for it hook, line, and sinker, embarrassing himself multiple times in the process.

To be fair, most of the Rekieta stuff gets embellished.

Like the whisky bottle he for inexplicable reasons took a picture off next to his ass, which became “HE SHOVED A BOTTLE UP HIS ASS.”

 

[Frofo Baggis]

Fatrick was robbed.

 

[Fapcop]

The main reason why I voted for Bossman, aside from him being funny, is that he’s just such a nice, chill, old fashioned cow.

There’s no batshit politics, no trooning out or sexual degeneracy.

Just a cow tard raging, punching walls and losing money as fast as he can make them.

It’s almost wholesome.

 

[Ogre Magi]

The main reason why I voted for Bossman, aside from him being funny, is that he’s just such a nice, chill, old fashioned cow.

There’s no batshit politics, no trooning out or sexual degeneracy.

Just a cow tard raging, punching walls and losing money as fast as he can make them.

It’s almost wholesome.

In the context of lolcows it's almost wholesome, but watching this wigger live is something else entirely. The only time it comes close to actually wholesome is when Trapper is on camera, and even then it's up for discussion whether or not he abuses that dog. Trapper deserves better

 

[AnOminous]

And now compare him to Balldo, who is fucking his almost perfect life over some 41 year old man catfish who couldn't get over his high school crush that Balldo said that he would fuck the shit out of.

And he's become synonymous with the Balldo, the most pathetic and ridiculous sex toy of all time, a weird little cuck cage you put your balls into and then use it to ram your balls into someone's asshole. It's advertised as "your second dick that never goes soft," more or less confirming that he's impotent from whiskey dick.

Nick is always doing something different in some new place. His idiocy isn't limited to his streams.

It could be going to Jamaica to Hedonism 2 during what is advertised as basically an interracial cuck week, then immediately following two black bulls from the resort on social media.

It could be shoving a liquor bottle between his ass cheeks and posting a picture of it online after preaching for years about how you should never ever post nudes. Or posting nudes of you and your wife, doxing your location as being Hedonism 2 during cuck week.

Or traveling to some bowling alley (shades of Ralph's "Kingpin" event) to give a "stand-up" routine that rivals Anthony "A-Log" Logatto for cringiness.

Or going to an anime convention and being snubbed because he'd gotten in a ridiculous feud with Pippa Pipkin the anime rabbit (which he lost), thus pissing off the weebs he'd previously had as an audience.

Or having a literally seven hour long stream seething furiously because some black comic guy Eric July called him a "non-practicing lawyer," which he is, much of the seven hours being taken up by him angrily yelling about how not mad he is.

Or wrecking any remaining legal credibility he had defending Diddler Dax and claiming he was just criticizing Eric July, and then Dax makes him look like a retard by saying no, he really is deliberately trying to destroy his business and life completely.

Then there's the incessant pathological lying about everything. The vague suicide baiting.

Claiming to be a genuine hood nigga from the mean streets to an actual OG who has seen the pen.

Getting catfished is also something that could happen to a lot of otherwise innocent boomers, but he was talking about how he'd fuck the shit out of this man in public while whining about and insulting his wife's body.

I could see disagreeing that he edged Pat out at the last minute and that Pat should have won. It was definitely close. But acting like Nick isn't a lolcow at all is fuck-ass retarded.

 

[Bondrewddidnothingwrong]

Mfw the gambling addict that broke his own door on stream,punched a hole in his wall and wasted $6k in literally 4 minutes loses to a boring lawyer man

 

[Meat Target]

I don't follow BMJ, and while I don't wanna discourage anyone else from getting lulz from him losing and chimping out, I personally find him too pathetic and depressing to be funny.

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

Mfw the gambling addict that broke his own door on stream,punched a hole in his wall and wasted $6k in literally 4 minutes loses to a boring lawyer man

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The boring lawyer man crashed a middle age crisis mobile the day he got it, punched a six figure hole in his finances with a tardbait lawsuit, and wasted a 7 figure superchat income stream to talk about putting a ball dildo on.