Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[CoolFool]

Ladies, I need your opinion.

I want to give online dating a try, and I'm debating whether to add a note that supporting woke politics is a deal breaker for me. I know focusing on politics is dumb, and I live in a very liberal area, so it will filter ~75% of women, but my last ex was heavy into anti-white stuff despite us both being white, so I don't want to deal with this shit again.
My main concern is this may make me look like a politisperg and scare away normal women.

How would you feel if you saw "P.S. Anti-white sentiment is a deal-breaker for me" on a guy's profile? Is there a better, more subtle way to phrase it? Or is it too much?

I would personally avoid anyone who listed politics on their bio, even if it was politics I agree with. I don't wanna deal with political spergs of any party.

I'm not going to pretend that a lot of what I like is dork shit (anime, video games) but I try to be well-rounded. I love reading (primarily fiction and well-thought out articles), anything historical (usually through books and podcasts, but I enjoy museums when I can go to one), and music (concerts, albums). I exercise and enjoy it to some degree, but I don't obsess over fitness. I feel like my inclination for introverted hobbies puts me at odds with dating, but I can never really tell if it's a deal breaker when everyone's generic advice about relationships is, "Just put yourself out there!" or "Confidence is key!" type shit

The thing is, most people aren't actually boring, we are all different and what one person likes and finds awesome, someone else would find boring. Your interests don't sound difficult or too niche to find a partner, in fact lots of women are into the same stuff you are. I'd say if you're having trouble dating it has to be something else; are you easy to talk to? Are you a good listener? Are you too clingy? Do you talk down about yourself or talk negatively in general? How's your grooming and basic hygiene? Do you have a job?

 

[Shidoen]

@CoolFool has heat-seeking judgmental missiles @Kill Your Idols.
Quick hit the deck!

 

[Susanna]

@CoolFool has heat-seeking judgmental missiles @Kill Your Idols.
Quick hit the deck!

Never doubt someone using a Tomie avatar.

 

[Shidoen]

Never doubt someone using a Tomie avatar.

Luckily it’s the internet and you can’t murder someone through the screen. Tomie gone worldwide baby.

 

[CoolFool]

Aww lol I hope my post didn't actually come across as mean, I'm genuinely trying to help them figure out what could be the problem since it clearly isn't due to their hobbies/interests.

 

[FinnSven]

Aww lol I hope my post didn't actually come across as mean, I'm genuinely trying to help them figure out what could be the problem since it clearly isn't due to their hobbies/interests.

If they thought your quite reasonable and supportive post was mean, then maybe the reason they are not finding dates is because they are too sensitive?

 

[Shidoen]

Aww lol I hope my post didn't actually come across as mean, I'm genuinely trying to help them figure out what could be the problem since it clearly isn't due to their hobbies/interests.

Nah I was making a funny but I imagined it framed like an interrogation so I chuckled and made up said scenario.

If they thought your quite reasonable and supportive post was mean, then maybe the reason they are not finding dates is because they are too sensitive?

The fool, you’re supposed to show the sensitive bits in the bedroom. Not parade it around like an armband.

 

[Kill Your Idols]

The thing is, most people aren't actually boring, we are all different and what one person likes and finds awesome, someone else would find boring. Your interests don't sound difficult or too niche to find a partner, in fact lots of women are into the same stuff you are. I'd say if you're having trouble dating it has to be something else; are you easy to talk to? Are you a good listener?

I'd say I'm better in group settings than one-on-one talks, I'm not great at starting conversations from nothing, but I can go with the flow if there is already one going on or if I really care about a topic. Maybe my small talk game is weak, but I don't like talking people's heads off about subjects they won't care about so I'd much rather listen and respond. I'm fine with this for the most part, but it doesn't work out in a dating context when the guy is expected to initiate and plan dates at the start. I try to make it work, but I'm not great at it.

Are you too clingy?

Nah, don't think so. I like to keep up with communication with dates but I'm not sending random texts out if don't hear from them within the hour or anything like that. If they're too busy, it just frees up time for me to do my own thing.

Do you talk down about yourself or talk negatively in general?

Outside of romantic contexts, I have a good self image. I like self-deprecating humor but I can see why it's a turn off so I avoid it when meeting new people. I'm probably more negative on KF because it's one of the few places to bitch about stupid shit without a filter nowadays, but I try to be more realistically optimistic offline.

How's your grooming and basic hygiene? Do you have a job?

Per day: Shower once. Brush my teeth and mouthwash twice. Floss once. I comb and style my hair every morning. I shave at least once a week. I should shave more often but I get lazy and I personally don't mind how I look with some stubble. Job is standard 9 to 5, nothing to write home about but nothing to complain about either.

@CoolFool has heat-seeking judgmental missiles @Kill Your Idols.
Quick hit the deck!

I came to this thread as a walking target, I am ready to be decimated. I've gotten too much nice advice from people, I could use something more critical.

 

[LillyTheBestGirl]

Thanks for the replies!
Unanimously, the consensus is not to mention politics at all. Fair enough, I'll try to do without that and look out for the cues whether our values align or not. Wish me luck!

 

[Waifu Days]

I'd say I'm better in group settings than one-on-one talks, I'm not great at starting conversations from nothing, but I can go with the flow if there is already one going on or if I really care about a topic. Maybe my small talk game is weak, but I don't like talking people's heads off about subjects they won't care about so I'd much rather listen and respond. I'm fine with this for the most part, but it doesn't work out in a dating context when the guy is expected to initiate and plan dates at the start. I try to make it work, but I'm not great at it.

A bit of encouragement, it's okay if a start of an one-on-one conversation is a bit awkward.

 

[Shidoen]

A bit of encouragement, it's okay if a start of an one-on-one conversation is a bit awkward.

It's just putting your foot in the door. Chances are she won't slam that door on your foot immediately, as long as you are courteous.

 

[Waifu Days]

I wish there was a silver bullet conversation starter. It's hard and I think it is getting harder with each new generation. Most people like meeting new people so if you honestly in your attempt, most will give you a chance. I will say, get good at asking good and unique questions.

 

[Shidoen]

I wish there was a silver bullet conversation starter. It's hard and I think it is getting harder with each new generation. Most people like meeting new people so if you honestly in your attempt, most will give you a chance. I will say, get good at asking good and unique questions.

I don't use dating apps but usually when I want to talk with a woman I just try to crack a joke and either I get scolded or get a laugh. It honestly depends if you feel it's right to crack a joke. Other than that I just open the conversation with something I notice about the person (like clothing, pop culture, or something else, it wasn't recommended but it works sometimes).

 

[DavidS877]

I wish there was a silver bullet conversation starter. It's hard and I think it is getting harder with each new generation. Most people like meeting new people so if you honestly in your attempt, most will give you a chance. I will say, get good at asking good and unique questions.

What is your name?
What is your quest?
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

0% of the time it works every time.

 

[Waifu Days]

I don't use dating apps but usually when I want to talk with a woman I just try to crack a joke and either I get scolded or get a laugh.

I'm going sound like a pickup artist but the math is sound. Rejections are rough, I'm not denying that but the more you try the more likely something will work. I would worry less about saying the right thing and just honestly going for it without fear. Let the conversation grow on the spot. Humor works for me but not everyone. Just move on and eventually the math adds up.

 

[Shidoen]

What is your name?
What is your quest?
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?

0% of the time it works every time.

Shidoen
To make my fortune and my impact
However far I can throw it

 

[Shidoen]

I'm going sound like a pickup artist but the math is sound. Rejections are rough, I'm not denying that but the more you try the more likely something will work. I would worry less about saying the right thing and just honestly going for it without fear. Let the conversation grow on the spot. Humor works for me but not everyone. Just move on and eventually the math adds up.

Don't worry too much I can handle rejection and learn from my mistakes. Trial and error works to my benefit as long as you can keep a woman's interest. I think one thing women appreciate about me is that I pick up after myself and clean around a house.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Thanks for the replies!
Unanimously, the consensus is not to mention politics at all. Fair enough, I'll try to do without that and look out for the cues whether our values align or not. Wish me luck!

I don't know if I agree with this. My ex and I diverged about politics over a long period of time and though it wasn't ultimately what ended our marriage, it contributed to it. When I started talking to my current boyfriend, one of the first things I got out of the way was feeling him out on what his politics were and what his views on different social issues were. I wasn't going to sign up for another situation like I had with my ex again where in the end we disagreed on almost everything in those spaces. It is exhausting.

I guess it depends on how important these things are to you ultimately personally. If you think you will be fine with someone diametrically opposed to what you believe, then I wouldn't mention it either. But if they are important, you don't have to mention it on your profile, but better ask those questions very early on.

 

[Shidoen]

I don't know if I agree with this. My ex and I diverged about politics over a long period of time and though it wasn't ultimately what ended our marriage, it contributed to it. When I started talking to my current boyfriend, one of the first things I got out of the way was feeling him out on what his politics were and what his views on different social issues were. I wasn't going to sign up for another situation like I had with my ex again where in the end we disagreed on almost everything in those spaces.

I guess it depends on how important these things are to you ultimately personally. If you think you will be fine with someone diametrically opposed to what you believe, then I wouldn't mention it either. But if they are important, you don't have to mention it on your profile, but better ask those questions very early on.

I'd like a woman who would challenge my views and beliefs so we can discuss and come to an understand. Being openly combative however is what I think a lot of people have a problem with, you won't reach an agreement or understanding that maintains a healthy relationship.

 

[Georgio Cocklord]

I'd like a woman who would challenge my views and beliefs so we can discuss and come to an understand. Being openly combative however is what I think a lot of people have a problem with, you won't reach an agreement or understanding that maintains a healthy relationship.

This actually, very much this. Competitive but not confrontational is what I want, someone whos better than me who helps me be better and Im training myself to be able to do the same. And not just with politics, with everything. I know this is gonna sound weird but my mother is like this, we share information and talk about rando stuff all the time (Im also able to one up her almost always cause Im terminally online and spend more time reading unnecessary garbage). So it would be cool to have a partner like that as well.