Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[Catgirl Tyranid]

I don't think Nick knows much about cars.

Nick knows jackshit about anything and anything he does know he learned for the sole purpose of looking like he knows what he's talking about. Everything he does is an effort to affect how people see him because that's all he cares about.

Spoiler: Addressing the heresy accusation

Unless it's a @Catgirl Tyranid. That sounds like massive heresy. I see you over there, motherfucker. I got my bolter ready. The Emperor protects!

What the fuck are you talking about. I am an Imperium sanctioned Abhuman with stable genetics. Since WE took over the Underhive the gangers have been all but absorbed converted to the worship of the three-armed Emperor. Relations with the local Arbites have never been better and we even contributed to the construction of a brand new satellite for the sole purpose of broadcasting the location of one of the Imperium's most biomass dense faithful hive planets into the void. We've stream lined the visa system so that conducting commerce in the different hive cities has never been easier letting us tithe more food and personnel to the Imperium than ever before. I am deeply offended that you would consider such an upstanding citizen of the Imperium such as myself to be heretical.

If anything, I'd say YOU'RE the one who's haphazardly committed heresy and are making up baseless accusations to shift the spotlight away from you. I bet that bolter you're so proud of is just a stubber that you haven't even had blessed or the the tech-priest would have informed you of your ignorance.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

That birthday really snuck up on him huh?

Probably. Sadly. He already whinged about all the people in the house for the last one.

Nick, getting fisted at Gay 90s isn't a "fistfight".

Spoiler: Layering degeneracy

It was difficult to overcome his sphincter's contraction resistance, and 'resist' could mean 'fight'. The forst was what was being resisted so....

He could have had a Corvette if he had waited. He specifically talked about it at the time that he was looking to buy one but he'd have to wait a year.

Yes. I remember him getting advice to get one then balking at the wait time.

He wanted a Lamborghini until it was too small, then a Corvette, until he had to wait, then he managed to find one Mustang. He traded down on 'cool cars' until he could get one NOW!

Man-child.

Speaking of which, has anyone asked him lately for an update on the 5K gifts that are more than a year overdue?

No. It doesn't come up in LOCALS much anymore either.

I have vague memories that hopefully someone else can expand on. Now that we are talking about his degenerate media choices again, does anyone remember him talking at length about some book he loved that was basically about an alien race of cat people raping the main character over and over again?

It was The Sparrow. Reading the Wikipedia entry, Nick focused on the degenerate parts, but is is essentially a story about a man losing his religion due to countless tragedies. The rape was only one part of it. At the end, he is a bitter old man, and the Church accepts that his suffering is so great that his questioning is valid.

Pretty bleak, and a bit funny if you draw parallels to Nick.

I dunno about cat people, but he really dug Dan Simmon's Ilium, and I've heard it gets pretty rapey.

It was discussed a few dozen pages ago. Maybe somebody can chime in as to whether it has cat people.

Nick's tastes in literature is hit and miss, IMO. I think some of the WH40K novels are really good, and I enjoyed Anthem, but when I tried to read Atlus Shrugged many years ago (before I even knew Nick), it was chore. I feel almost like people read that damn thing for "libertarian cred" rather than thinking it's a good book.

See above for the cat novel.

Illium and Olympus have a lot of gratuitous sexuality (There's an analogous scene to the prince finding Sleeping Beauty, and guess how he wakes her?) interspersed with pretentious literary stylings. I gave a summary review back then, but it is pretentious and somewhat degenerate like much of the late Heinlein and onward old Science-Fiction--even Orsen Scott Card used some of it in his earlier writings. It is a return to form that no one asked for. At some point, inserting so much sex makes it a soap opera or a trashy romance novel.

 

[Chibitzen]

Actually, kiwifarms is the closest thing to heaven on earth.
A place where you watch retards get up to retard antics, sometimes even rooting for them eg terry.
A place that encourages you to watch and record at a distance and not to cowtip.
A place that non-practicing lawyers hate.

This place has only made me behave better on the Internet, not worse. If someone gets angrier when reading this site, they're doing it wrong.

No more tipping the cows, indeed. After seeing how Creators like Nick handle money, those days are numbered.

Well yeah, when you brag abut the massive contract you signed and told your audience you didn't want their superchat money why would they keep giving it? Especially when they could pay the $5 to get more immediate access to you on locals.

Worse. He said something to the effect he could lose all the subscriptions too and it wouldn't matter. That was a major self-indictment. His content is so valuable there was no need for anyone to watch it as he was simply there to get paid.

I agree with Nick on the streaming being such a hard job that is impossible to sustain. He has to be away from his family for upwards of 4 hours a day. Nobody can understand that.

Try 12's or even 16's that are truly grueling public-facing jobs where one's shift is not spent sitting in front of a computer screen getting e-fellated by a bunch of paying randos. Watching "boring" court cases is far better than having to be accountable for the unfortunates actively involved in one.

 

[Sam Losco]

A DUI arrest is on my 2024 bingo card. Anyone else?

• Mustang wreck and/or DUI arrest.
• Something bad (for him) between him and MANdy comes out.
• 5k Gift does NOT get fulfilled.
• Rumble deal either doesn't get renewed or gets renewed on less favorable terms for him.
• Loses or settles Lolsuit with Monty.

I think a divorce arc has very low chances since I think Kayla is just as fucked up as he is.

 

[Neetorino]

Contrary to his recent LOCALS stream when he said it is 'easy to get away for an hour to meetup locally' it is now very hard and he is nor at home most of the day.

I remember when Nick said at one point that he'd always try to be available to meet up with fans at a bar or something to hang out for an hour. But then, then was the last time a fan said they were in town and wanted to hang out? (I'm not including people going to the "comedy show" since that was for Chrissie more than Nick.) What a shame he manages to never be home for his homeschooled kids since he's always out all day every day.

In other words, he's most like Fulgrim, the slave of Slaanesh, not Lion El'Jonson.

While I totally agree, putting Nick and Fulgrim in the same subsector is just unfair to Fulgrim. Fulgrim actually puts in the effort to try and achieve his view of perfection, Nick just sits at his desk wasting away. Plus I don't recall Fulgrim ever lying about his Slaaneshian tendencies, he just calls it trying to achieve perfection; in contrast to Nick who constantly copes about how much he overindulges. Nick also seems like the exact type of person to fall for a catgirl-tyranid, like Georgie being tempted by IT only to be consumed into the great biomass collector in the sky.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

A DUI arrest is on my 2024 bingo card. Anyone else?

Agreed, but I'll go wider- some sort of vehicle incident, whether DUI, accident, speeding tickets, for sure.
Another trip to Hedonism II (or somewhere equally cringe and melanated).
Ralph crossover never happens.
Streams less than 2023.

 

[PixarsTedKennedy]

5k Gift does NOT get fulfilled.

This. Definitely this.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

This. Definitely this.

Make this a center square on the Bingo card. Finally, add a square for "caught DM'ing an escort" or something to that effect.

 

[Owlbear]

My Rekieta bingo card:

• Rumble contract does not get renewed
• A second, bigger car crash
• Nick finds himself on the wrong side of the law, either for public exposure or reckless driving
• A return to trial streaming to try to make some money, capped off with another rant about it sucking
• Nick tries to get back on Crowder or other conservative media around the 2024 election, and gets denied
• Loses a trivial amount of money (in damages) in his lawsuit with Monty and counts that as a win
• A rant about how lawyers are a drain on society while he sneeds about his bill from Randazza
• No 5k gift
• A stream day with <$10 of superchats
• The Rekieta swinger arc gets confirmed: someone finds a picture of him or Kayla at a "party" or some DMs - hell, maybe even his fetlife profile or something
• Tries to pull guests for an election night stream, and ends up with only Camelot and Branca

 

[Thugnificent]

• 5k Gift does NOT get fulfilled.

That's just the free middle space, right?

 

[Chibitzen]

A DUI arrest is on my 2024 bingo card. Anyone else?

Agreed, but I'll go wider- some sort of vehicle incident, whether DUI, accident, speeding tickets, for sure.
Another trip to Hedonism II (or somewhere equally cringe and melanated).
Ralph crossover never happens.
Streams less than 2023.

This. Definitely this.

Make this a center square on the Bingo card. Finally, add a square for "caught DM'ing an escort" or something to that effect.

My Rekieta bingo card:

• Rumble contract does not get renewed
• A second, bigger car crash
• Nick finds himself on the wrong side of the law, either for public exposure or reckless driving
• A return to trial streaming to try to make some money, capped off with another rant about it sucking
• Nick tries to get back on Crowder or other conservative media around the 2024 election, and gets denied
• Loses a trivial amount of money (in damages) in his lawsuit with Monty and counts that as a win
• A rant about how lawyers are a drain on society while he sneeds about his bill from Randazza
• No 5k gift
• A stream day with <$10 of superchats
• The Rekieta swinger arc gets confirmed: someone finds a picture of him or Kayla at a "party" or some DMs - hell, maybe even his fetlife profile or something
• Tries to pull guests for an election night stream, and ends up with only Camelot and Branca

Very quick creation. Corrections and criticism warranted (and an image for the header if you'd like to contribute). I'm thinking of adding a police car pulling someone over at the top...

**Space is still available!**

I added non-DUI arrest and a renewal of his vow that he is "not a law channel".

 

[Balldo's Gate]

Rekieta confirmed that Sober January is not happening and that it is only Sober Stream January:

"It is not a Sober January for me. Some people mistook that because of how I phrased it..."

The timing is funny because Ralph has cancelled Sober January as well today:

 

[PixarsTedKennedy]

What about him drunkenly doxxing his phone number on stream? I'm just wondering how long it will be before people start texting him shit about the balldo or Drexel while he's live.

 

[ChromaQuack]

I'm thinking of adding a police car pulling someone over at the top...

Needs a "Pink Anime Rabbit makes fun of him again" square.

I'd say as center one but there's so many center squares you might need a 9x9 grid.

 

[Catgirl Tyranid]

**Space is still available!**

Let's add scam sponsorship. Like the knockoff, overpriced hand chainsaw or the Iranian porn site Gold IRA bullshit.

 

[Smashed & Slamed]

**Space is still available!**

Trash Talking Lady Raket's Blown Out Body, Again, Again

 

[Sam Losco]

That's just the free middle space, right?

A lot of things could fit that.

 

[DaleMcGuy]

Nick thinks he is most similar to The Lion primarch? (IDK)

He is nothing like Lion El'Jonson or any Primarch or even the meakest servitor. Even a walking spitoon like Erebus has contributed more.
His value is corpse starch in that universe. Even then he would moan about the stress of being bubbly broth for rock eaters.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

**Space is still available!**

Nice work! Maybe needs something about some new, embarrassing follows on social media. (Dealers, hoes, pimps, etc.)
Maybe a passout on stream? IDK on that one.

 

[feral cat #6385]

WE CAN SEE THE SMOKE DETECTOR. Not chirping, sadly.

It will be.

Nick said he never partied until he was 40.

Only losers party after 40.

He said he did not stream Saturday becuase ot was his son's birthday party.

You never know when a birthday will just show up out of nowhere...

Fuck it. I can't sort though his bullshit anymore.

Nick should move to Ukraine and criticize the government.