Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[WelperHelper99]

take stating the obvious for $100 Trebek. This is intended as a deflection from the criticism of how his wife looks after getting work done. He's trying to set the bar at Kardashian levels which any normal person (and most weirdos) think looks ridiculous so his wife seems more normal by comparison

It feels like a insult, kinda implying: "my wife looks great guys! She doesn't have a ass and tits the size of Jupiter! It was just a little work!

 

[Oxyjen]

Sometimes that gets left out on my dedicated mixing space if it's late, but otherwise it goes back in the liquor cabinet.

Right? There’s nothing worse than seeing clutter and bottles of alcohol lying about, it’s just icky. Especially if you have a slight hangover.

Plus. What if someone comes round. They’d assume you are an alcoholic.

 

[elb]

Some clips from the day stream with Gosney yesterday

Spoiler: Embeds

(Edited to add spoiler.. and again to add a clip)

 

[Maraschino]

Nick is one of the few people I'd say doesn't have enough body dysmorphia.

His body looks like one of those kneadable erasers for artists hit a shitty high school desk and picked up the graffiti, lmao.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Firstly, why is "Molesting" in Nick's phone auto-correct, and secondly why does it have a zero for the O? I'm genuinely curious because what the fuck.

Looks like a phone auto-fill malfunction. He seems to have typed it enough for the predictive text to recognise it. Weird. That is all I will commit to saying without evidence.

I also hope Nick makes a million dollars.

The '0' is to avoid auto-censoring on platform or flagging of his messages. I know some people say that text messages get flagged by mobile providers, but I thought that was for gross paedo and drug stuff, IDK.

 

[Owlbear]

Honest question: I don’t drink alcohol, but… Is it normal for non alkies to have so many liquor bottles in their kitchen?

(Like if you had a little bar in your living room that’s another matter, but the kitchen?!)

My friends are social drinkers so may have a bottle of wine or two, but this much booze seems… Like a lot!

I entertain semi-frequently, cook a ton, and like bougie wine. I never drink alone, and honestly rarely drink, but I think it's better to be ready for a guest and alcohol is a lot cheaper to buy when you get the large bottle. Here's my selection:

• A bottle each of basic alcohols for cocktails and guests: vodka, tequila, scotch, bourbon, gin, whiskey - all of them at least 3 years old because they get consumed so slowly
• Several liqueurs and bitters for drinks
• Some cognac and brandy
• Chinese and Japanese cooking wines
• ~50 bottles of red wine in a wine cellar, but only about 8 of them are ready to drink
• 3 bottles of white wine

If you own an alcohol collection this big and it takes you less than a year to get through all of it, you're an alcoholic. Plain and simple. I think Nick's is bigger, and I have no doubts about how quickly he goes through it.

EDIT - There are at least 3 half-used bourbons on Nick's kitchen counter. That's not normal for a kitchen cocktail bar.

 

[waffle]

I've seen kitchen cocktail stations like that before where it's various liquors and shelf stable mixers on a lazy suzan. But they're usually in a corner that would be hard space to utilize otherwise. Also like @Catgirl Tyranid said those are usually assorted liquors to make drinks with, as opposed to just being the designated depot for whiskey that didn't get finished in one sitting.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Right? There’s nothing worse than seeing clutter and bottles of alcohol lying about, it’s just icky. Especially if you have a slight hangover.

Plus. What if someone comes round. They’d assume you are an alcoholic.

They do not have to assume. That is the flaw in your logic. He is an alcoholic that is still somewhat functional.

 

[Pomniman]

Nick is one of the few people I'd say doesn't have enough body dysmorphia.

His body looks like one of those kneadable erasers for artists hit a shitty high school desk and picked up the graffiti, lmao.

He's unironically proana like some teenage girl on livejournal in 2005.

 

[Captain Manning]

I didn't see this posted or discussed earlier.

Credit where it's due, Sparky's Tech Corner did a phenomenally good job on this one.

My standard for these sort of things is whether it's listenable in isolation and not just as a funny gag. This actually is... in a really creepy sort of way.

Null played this as an outro form the January 12th episode of MATI (not the earlier episode with @Balldo's Gate recap video that used the Berry Manilow original, although that was also a great video).

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Me: I’m worried I’m an alcoholic. I keep my old college mini fridge in my room always stocked with beer to enjoy for gaming nights on the PC plus my work lunch and a few yogurts and energy drinks to grab on the go in the morning for work. This is alcoholic behavior I should probably curb

Nick: keeps multiple bottles of hard liquor by his streaming desk, keeps multiple bottles of booze in the kitchen. “I am not an alcoholic!”

I want to give Nick the benefit of doubt and say he’s just carrying that tray of alcohol from his desk. What I’m very perturbed by is that child bottle just sitting by the booze.

 

[ThisHill2DieOn]

Instead he promised a makeup stream that everybody should have known was never going to happen.

Speaking of promises that everyone should know will never happen, has Nick said anything more about those gifts for the first 5k Locals signups? It’s been over a year now.

Talk about Rekieta and bottles reminded me of this time I tried to help an old friend of mine sober up and get his life straight. After 10 days of his drinking himself into a stupor for literally every single second of his waking existence and being a weird, creepy, disgusting, annoying drunken mess, I told him he would have to figure something else out because my home is not a flophouse, that he could either leave like a man with a semblance of dignity or else I would forcibly remove him by literally dragging him out into the street. These are the bottles from his stay.

 

[Strix454]

Speaking of promises that everyone should know will never happen, has Nick said anything more about those gifts for the first 5k Locals signups? It’s been over a year now.

I think he has been clear that he will not do it while the Monty lawsuit is going on. I don't think he will ever do it, but his storytime reasoning is his LOLSUIT.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

Looks like a phone auto-fill malfunction. He seems to have typed it enough for the predictive text to recognise it. Weird. That is all I will commit to saying without evidence.

I also hope Nick makes a million dollars.

The '0' is to avoid auto-censoring on platform or flagging of his messages. I know some people say that text messages get flagged by mobile providers, but I thought that was for gross paedo and drug stuff, IDK.

Libertarians are all pedos, aren't they? He's probably trying to search for CP or roleplay shit made for pedos.

 

[Male Idiot]

Every time I feel like a drunk, I realise that I likely consume less alcohol in a week than Nick a day, and feel better.

 

[Harm]

know some people say that text messages get flagged by mobile providers, but I thought that was for gross paedo and drug stuff, IDK.

Well, the word he was censoring was "molesting," but I'd still refuse to believe he was doing anything along those lines himself. The questions it raises will probably never be answered, though.

I want to give Nick the benefit of doubt and say he’s just carrying that tray of alcohol from his desk. What I’m very perturbed by is that child bottle just sitting by the booze.

Great point. Even putting the younger children aside, it's extremely irresponsible to have all this booze around where their older children can get into it and start helping themselves or their friends to some high class liquors.

 

[Mundane Ralph]

Every time I feel like a drunk, I realise that I likely consume less alcohol in a week than Nick a day, and feel better.

I feel like a piece of shit if I drink beer on Sunday instead of just on Friday and Saturday. Nick is a constant reminder to not beat myself up over it and just try to do better because the other option is to just give up and drink every day and buy a balldo.

 

[Pomniman]

Speaking of promises that everyone should know will never happen, has Nick said anything more about those gifts for the first 5k Locals signups? It’s been over a year now.

Talk about Rekieta and bottles reminded me of this time I tried to help an old friend of mine sober up and get his life straight. After 10 days of his drinking himself into a stupor for literally every single second of his waking existence and being a weird, creepy, disgusting, annoying drunken mess, I told him he would have to figure something else out because my home is not a flophouse, that he could either leave like a man with a semblance of dignity or else I would forcibly remove him by literally dragging him out into the street. These are the bottles from his stay.
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This is a key thing about common alcoholics too: they don't actually enjoy liquor so they'll buy the cheapest shit possible (old crow and burnetts are the kind of things you buy if you're in poverty) because it's all about getting as drunk as possible for as cheap as possible. Nicki probably bypasses this tendency because he has money, but he's still an alkie whose habit is completely out of control in its own way as shown by how many bottles he keeps within arms reach of himself at all times while streaming.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

Speaking of promises that everyone should know will never happen, has Nick said anything more about those gifts for the first 5k Locals signups? It’s been over a year now.

I think he has been clear that he will not do it while the Monty lawsuit is going on. I don't think he will ever do it, but his storytime reasoning is his LOLSUIT.

It has been memory-holed about as effectively as the 100k subscriber 24 hour stream, Vic knife auction, Rittenhouse Superchat reading, Big Brain panels, Nick's Book, Nick's comic, Nicks legal educational colouring book, and Chad Dad streams.

Well, the word he was censoring was "molesting," but I'd still refuse to believe he was doing anything along those lines himself. That the questions it raises will probably never be answered, though.

I agree he is 99.9999% probably not doing anything like that himself, but I have heard that the Home Office does monitor and gets flags for keywords in electroinic communications like Big Brother.

I was expressing my lack of certain knowledge that such data collection in the US occurs--not that Nick was trying to circumvent it.

I agree, though, it is weird and probably never answered.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

I was expressing my lack of certain knowledge that such data collection in the US occurs--not that Nick was trying to circumvent it.

There's a giant data farm the NSA runs in Utah (supposedly a stone's throw from Dani Ahn's house) that syphons all electronic communications. Supposedly they can't search for US people in it, but they just hand access over to the other four nations from Five Eyes to search for stuff, who then let Americans know if there are potential domestic issues.

All that said:

1. They almost certainly have some algos or dictionaries to sort out basic character substitution in red-flagged text
2. I am sure there are a lot more red flags in balldoman's communications than one jumbled word. Just his social media follows, for one thing, would raise huge issues if he was being investigated.