The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[JelloJerk]

Look what’s back on the market… price has been re-evaluated a lot lower, but it’s still appreciated a good bit.

Paul has done a hell of a job clearing up, it has to be said. “Owner is motivated to sell”.

Nostalgia time!


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I so badly want Nick Rochefort to go through this in a Scuffed Realtor episode, but it might not be as funny if he doesn't know the context.

 

[Scale Smerch]

Tranch or not, ~$300k for ~40 acres in this market? That is a no brainer. You're buying the land, not the property; easy to tear that crap down and start again.

 

[Wyzzerd]

I feel like they should be legally required to disclose that the property is haunted by the angry ghosts of 200 alpacas.

Let it be known that I'd be willing to do the exorcism here for free as a kiwi farms public service.


Why yes I'm just going to redirect all the spirits to the new troon location, how did you know?

 

[analrapist]

I know more about construction codes than electrical, and even then, it is tainted and Canadian. That said, the electrical work does not look particularly safe or legal. Are there any Yankee kiwis who know more about the local codes?

 

[PetiteFeet]

Maybe we could set up a reality show and trick a bunch of new troons to go live there but under full surveillance. Tell them there's treasure buried somewhere on the property and see if they can find the death pits

Can we get Sam Hyde to buy the Tranch and have a troon-only Fish Tank season?

 

[Unique User Name]

I live in a rural area (not Colorado) with my lot and most others being 30+ acres and we have a HOA (well really a Land Owners Association), but no CC&Rs. We basically use it just as an easy way to pool money for shit like road repairs, salting and plowing. Course their ad says they are on county road, not private, so idk what that's about. Then again it is CO so who knows, just saying there's a few reasons for HOAs outside of just "keep your yard clean and have matching mailboxes" shit.

Yeah, I thought it might be a road maintenance agreement, but the whole county road to the drive way thing and the fact that it says CC&Rs is weird. Maybe Josh is just a terrible agent.

If any kiwi has agent MLS access, those documents should be available to any Realtor.

EDIT

I'm fucking dumb as shit, it's already in the thread and have corrected my previous post.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/the-te...gue-phillip-matthew-logue.86681/post-17559137

 

[Evilronald]

Did they disclose all the dead llamas buried on the property?

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

Jesus fucking Christ the stains
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Those stains suggest, men were there, not women. Oh, it's shag carpet, simply existing gets stained like that. Burn it down. The building should be condemned.

But folks, 300k for that house plus 35 acres of land, including essential utility hookups is a pretty good deal. Even if you're only intent is to bulldoze the structure and rebuild, half of the BS is already done for ya when compared to buying cheap land and developing it.

 

[Myrtle the Turtle]

Someone remind me, didn't the gas company repossess their tanks? What do they mean by "other"? Seems ambiguous.

 

[Hitman One]

Wasn’t for the trannies and dead alpacas. The land would be $5000 to $7000 at most.

You can't put a price on history. The federal government should buy the land and build a visitor centre.

 

[Monopoly Supporter]

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3 billion IQ carpeted bathroom moment.

Someone remind me, didn't the gas company repossess their tanks? What do they mean by "other"? Seems ambiguous.
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Dead Alpacas.

 

[DocMorbis]

If I had the money I would buy it up and tear everything down. The location looks great but I would not wanna live in that run down hell house.

 

[Path Wanderer]

Look what’s back on the market… price has been re-evaluated a lot lower, but it’s still appreciated a good bit.

Paul has done a hell of a job clearing up, it has to be said. “Owner is motivated to sell”.

Nostalgia time!


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Josh we found the new house for you

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

What page can I get a 101 on the final downfall of this whole shebang?

 

[Ed Special]

Alright, Kiwis, hear me out... we should start a fundraiser to buy the Tranch and set up an actual Kiwi Farms farm there. The salty Troon tears (and stinkditch drippings) will be legendary.

 

[Yankee Shogun]

Look what’s back on the market… price has been re-evaluated a lot lower, but it’s still appreciated a good bit.

Paul has done a hell of a job clearing up, it has to be said. “Owner is motivated to sell”.

Nostalgia time!


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He neglected to mention the roving Kiwifarms militia in the area and the 6 million dead alpacas in the back, feel like he's fishing for a lawsuit.

 

[Polentic]

This is like auschwitz going up for sale. Mass graves of llamas included.

 

[Oxyjen]

What page can I get a 101 on the final downfall of this whole shebang?

Around here : https://kiwifarms.hk/threads/the-te...ip-matthew-logue.86681/page-882#post-14006781

 

[AnOminous]

Then again it is CO so who knows, just saying there's a few reasons for HOAs outside of just "keep your yard clean and have matching mailboxes" shit.

Rural HOAs (or POAs) are similar legally to the same kind of entities in suburban developments but in practice rarely act the same. The kind of people living out in rural Colorado are not going to put up with the bullshit suburban HOAs routinely do.

 

[mindlessobserver]

Too damn cold we need some humid California real estate for the dream of an actual Kiwifarms Kiwi Farm.

Its not just cold as balls in the winter, its also hot as fuck in the summer. Its not called the North American Badlands to make some sort of epic statement. Its literally Bad Land.

Tranch or not, ~$300k for ~40 acres in this market? That is a no brainer. You're buying the land, not the property; easy to tear that crap down and start again.

40 Acres in West Colorado is not the same thing as 40 acres on the east coast. Shit, I own 1 acre of East Coast, and if I had the time/inclination, I could turn that 1 acre into a very productive orchard/pig farm. Pen the pigs on the quarter acre, use another quarter acre for the house and half an acre for apple trees, squash, etc. You can literally put seeds from the grocery store into the ground here and the plants will grow.

Try doing that shit in Western Colorado. The land is so marginal if you tried to raise more then a few cows on 40 acres and it will turn into the surface of the moon. Which the tranchers discovered with their hundreds of Alpacas. As for plants, good luck getting anything remotely useful to grow on it. The only thing that 40 acres is good for is making sure your neighbors are VERY far away.