Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Super Hans v2]

Anyone else suspect he's making up his numbers?

I'd be more easily convinced that Jr isn't a faggot pedophile than Jack being honest with his stats.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Anyone else suspect he's making up his numbers?

Absolutely. If he was able to irrefutably prove he was eating small portions twice a day over the whole first week, eight pounds would be on the absolute edge of believable. The fact it suddenly and significantly flattened out as soon as he noticed people calling bullshit reinforces it to me. Speculation about it being 'initial' losses gloss over the fact that he's chucking back endless piles of food, you don't drop water weight or full digestive weight if you're still drinking and eating just as much as before. His insistence that seasonings and sauces don't count also brings the rest of his numbers into doubt as he's going to be loading up immensely on his favored sugary sauces and salty garnishes.

I'd sooner believe that Microsoft stopped fucking up their operating systems.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Absolutely. If he was able to irrefutably prove he was eating small portions twice a day over the whole first week, eight pounds would be on the absolute edge of believable. The fact it suddenly and significantly flattened out as soon as he noticed people calling bullshit reinforces it to me. Speculation about it being 'initial' losses gloss over the fact that he's chucking back endless piles of food, you don't drop water weight or full digestive weight if you're still drinking and eating just as much as before. His insistence that seasonings and sauces don't count also brings the rest of his numbers into doubt as he's going to be loading up immensely on his favored sugary sauces and salty garnishes.

I'd sooner believe that Microsoft stopped fucking up their operating systems.

That's what I was thinking. Carnivore diet is technically keto, which would lower blood sugar, but only if you don't eat sugary sauces (and we know Jack does that). The blood pressure seems unlikely with what is likely the massive amount of sodium that he's ingesting when combined with likely little water intake.

 

[Eternal Gopnik]

There's no way Jack is 267. Fucker is 300 pounds easily.

It's been discussed ITT earlier. He's very short, you have to take that into account. 267 lbs would be on the heavier side for a tall guy, Jack is a gnome.

 

[topshrek]

It's been discussed ITT earlier. He's very short, you have to take that into account. 267 lbs would be on the heavier side for a tall guy, Jack is a gnome.

Isn't he something like 5'4"? He's certainly a squat little Italian meatball, even Ben Shapiro would tower over him. Its not unfeasible for someone that is that much of a manlet to weigh 267 and be as obese as ol' Jakatak. Particularly when you consider that Jack hasn't played a sport or exercised in his life, so he has very little muscle mass apart from the bare minimum. Add on to that the fact that he's been largely immobile for the past few years after his last few strokes (not that he was moving much before then), so any small amount of muscle tissue that he may have had previously has atrophied from disuse

Jack's body is just a tiny (height-wise) skin balloon holding together a slovenly mass of fat, bones and organs (apart from a brain, which has withered away completely). For a guy that loves GUD MEAT as much as he does, there's a shockingly small amount of it in his body apart from his stomach contents

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I never bought into this argument. It's not my fault the theater is running at a defecit, and those candy boxes are not worth what they charge for them. Dollar store, then movie.

So you're okay with movies costing $30 a head? That's more or less what it comes down to if the movie theaters want to stay in business. Don't get me wrong I know that bringing in stuff from outside is stealing from them but I will not pay $10 for a nickel's worth of syrup and a dime's worth of popcorn even it comes with real melted butter.

Spoiler: Movie sperging

Movie theaters need to deal with distribution companies to get their movies and these distribution companies often times are subsidiaries of the studios themselves. So the distributor has two models for getting paid. There's the "we own everything" model and the "hope you make a profit" model.

The first one means that for the first week they get EVERYTHING that movie made in terms of sales. The next week they get 85%. The next week they get 50% and so on. Don't quote me on the exact numbers but if the movie stays in theaters for at least six weeks the theater now has a chance to actually make money off of it. But it's been six weeks. Most people have already seen it and new movies are coming out.

The second way is that the theater pays for it in advance and we're talking $25K of something here and the theater keeps all the profits. For first run movies like the latest Marvel blockbuster this can be good or the theater can take a bath on it.

Usually the first model is the preferred method. So they need to make money elsewhere. This is where things like special rooms with big comfy chairs, alcohol and food are available. Or extras like having a burger place in there. Or just charging an arm and a leg for concessions. If everybody stopped buying the overpriced popcorn and drinks the theater would go out of business or would have to charge three times the price for tickets.

In other words the concession is the only way they make money.

Liberal activism is so dead they've resorted to "single use plastic bag" bans, and novelty lighter bans because they can force those through without a vote. In California, Moonbeam caused a fucking hepatitis outbreak because single use plastic bags were the closest thing the homeless had to portable toilets. Law of unintended consequences.

Fuck California. But I'm perfectly fine with using reusable bags made from recycled soda bottles. It's not a problem. They stay in my car until I need them, cost like a quarter and if they eventually rip and tear than so what? They're recyclable as well.

wtf?

Like this faggot can drive. Seriously. He's complaining about something that literally doesn't affect him.

He actually made some comment toward the end of his FB video about the only way his stroke shit will heal is if god wants to do it. He's long accepted shit, the problem is that he's out of touch with reality and thinks everyone else has these problems, or if they do have these problems it's only because they consume SHUGUR and aren't eating carnivore.

Yeah that was after the one that took his right hand and leg he said that he was going to leave it up to God to heal him or not. In other words he was too lazy to do the rehab and I think he said something like, "God wants to use me" as in saying God wanted him to be crippled to show others what is possible or something equally retarded.

like how those people in Texas a few years ago were freaking out about how the snow turned black when they melted it with a Bic.

Yeah but those people were the ones that were claiming it wasn't real snow and didn't understand that the fumes from the lighter were what was causing it to turn black. But the fact is most people don't understand basic chemistry. Also it's Texas. One inch of snow falls there, the state grinds to a halt and Ted Cruz goes to Mexico.

New Numbers.

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There is practically no difference after three weeks of this.

And if your sugar is going UP when you're not eating any then you know you're doing something wrong.

 

[p1138]

There is practically no difference after three weeks of this.

What? Clearly Fatty has lost 10 pounds of dandruff, crust, phlegm, mucous, toe fungus, etc. since his carnivore diet has practically given him a glamorous makeover.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

o you're okay with movies costing $30 a head? That's more or less what it comes down to if the movie theaters want to stay in business.

Yes. All these techniques of distorting the value of one product to jack up another just to make up the difference only serves to confuse the whole thing, obfuscate costs from the customer, and generally make the entire experience worse.

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

In other words the concession is the only way they make money.

No one's business model is my problem.

 

[Adamska]

Claims his BP is still "coming down" and that his "normal" is around 150. Also claims now when he wakes up he's actually awake(wtf?).
Less eye crust. Less mucus from his nose, but still "one blow" to clean out his nose. I've said it before that his concept of normal is hilariously skewed but it never occurred to him that needing to blow his nose multiple times after waking up isn't normal?
Is happy SHUGUR is down to 118.
Says everything is heading in the "right direction" and he doesn't feel bad other than it being hard to walk due to the stroke but doesn't expect that to go away.
"DON'T CHEAT" goes on about a lot of people he knows supposedly starting carnivore, and that he hasn't cheated one time(LOL, bullshit he's cheated repeatedly ON CAMERA)
Last night he had venison burgers(can't just eat one, needs his 5000 calories), fried eggs, and cheese. Ignoring that the cheese he ate was practically guaranteed to be some processed crap... what part of a burger other than the meat patty is carnivore exactly? The keto burger thing I get, but carnivore? No.
Promises everyone will change in 30 days of carnivore. Claims it's life or death or whatever. Says his weight has plateaued for 3 days at 267... because he keeps eating 4-5000 calories a fucking day.

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It's hilarious that he keeps insisting 150 is gud, and it's still amazing that this stupid motherfucker at least seems to take his diabetes meds, but refuses to take any beta blockers or other medicines to regulate BP.

Also nice number lie on the systolic, just barely keeping it out of stage 2 hypertension with this to not get made fun of.

Still weighs himself everyday. Only posts once a week?

Lazy, or just doesn't want to hear people shitting on him? Could be either.

edit: if he's weighing himself everyday, whaddaya bet he's checking the full numbers everyday, and cherry picking the lowest of the week to announce?

Nah, the fat faggot's just making up numbers. He literally will make up bullshit wholesale to save his ego whenever possible. He's not like DSP for example, who does at least use elements of reality to make up his lies. Jack will full on lie, invent numbers, excuses, anything to avoid taking responsibility for his failures.

For example, I know his sugar counts are complete BS, especially since it's very likely he still takes his creamer with splashes of coffee, and that shit even with artificial sweetener does cause some effects.

 

[p1138]

No one's business model is my problem.

If anything it's just proof that the business model is shit. If you have to rely on a thing you know customers have bitched about and hated for decades at this point, to make money, odds are if shit changed they'd have more customers. The movie studios and theaters are not my friends.

 

[Si vis pacem para bellum]

New Numbers.

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There's no fucking way his BP was 174/76. Do you know how terrible he would feel?

Spoiler: TMI

After a hospital visit where a random medicine I was given caused an acute hypertensive crisis, I had to struggle to with bringing my BP down from an unmedicated 180/120 to 120/80 or lower over a year, including coming off of medications slowly.

The first number is the pressure when your heart is pumping and the second number is your resting pressure inbetween pumps. I'm telling you most of those numbers 160 or higher his lower number was >= 100. When there is more than 40-60 pressure between the two, this is called "Wide Pressure" and pretty indicative of really bad cardiac outcomes. So either he's literally on death's door or he's lying to look better (which based on his weight he most assuredly is as well).
Little bit about Wide Pressure for those who care:

I'm going to guess he's got aortic stiffening as chronic hypertension and being old can do that in addition to a shit diet. This is real bad for him. Valve regurgitation isn't super likely.

 

[Andoxico]

There's no fucking way his BP was 174/76. Do you know how terrible he would feel?

You're forgetting that Jack's criteria of feeling GUD is having a gut stuffed with juicy meats

 

[Blasterisk]

So you're okay with movies costing $30 a head?

no

You're forgetting that Jack's criteria of feeling GUD is having a gut stuffed with juicy meats

It's also important to remember that Jack's blood is not really pushed around by his heart anymore so much as the constant chunks of royalties rotisserie chicken flying into his stomach and sloshing the blood around in his organs.

 

[Harambe]

no

It's also important to remember that Jack's blood is not really pushed around by his heart anymore so much as the constant chunks of royalties rotisserie chicken flying into his stomach and sloshing the blood around in his organs.

his blood so lubricated and smooth and low-friction it just keeps flowing

his last heartbeat was years and years ago when he was on wtic

it’s not strokes it’s just literal rot

scientists believe he may be a perpetual motion machine

 

[Falcon Sebben]

his blood so lubricated and smooth and low-friction it just keeps flowing

It's all that Bacon Up he used to eat use.

You just know he was eating that by the spoonful and melting it down to drink as a beverage. Eventually this is what his blood has been replaced by .

 

[rubytintedchix]

What? Clearly Fatty has lost 10 pounds of dandruff, crust, phlegm, mucous, toe fungus, etc. since his carnivore diet has practically given him a glamorous makeover.

Did you catch in the latest numbers video where he said it cured some of his skin tags. First of all, TMI, but second of all fucking ew! Third of all, there’s no way in hell eating like a caveman glutton is curing anyone’s skin tags.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

There's no way Jack is 267. Fucker is 300 pounds easily.

Have to take into account he's a manlet

 

[Frog Man]

Personally, I don’t believe for a second that he could eat an entire rotisserie chicken in one sitting.

That was kingassrippers speciality
Jagoffs only capable of undercooking a whole chicken, not eating it.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

That was kingassrippers speciality
Jagoffs only capable of undercooking a whole chicken, not eating it.

The guy will eat half a burger in one bite and regularly orders multiple entrees with sides and appetizers, so having a whole chicken in one go is totally his style, though as others have pointed out, Tammy had to break down the chicken for him.

It was probably worth it to her, as she could leave Jack in the food court and go shopping by herself in peace. I figure that's what she does at home as well. When Jack starts babbling about boomer shit, she puts a drumstick in his mouth, much like giving a pacifier to a whiny baby