(01/25/2024) Ethan Ralph heads to Taxco, Guerrero, Mexico - "Pussy gringos like Harry Morris crack me up. Yea, I'll be in Guerrero [...] Do I look scared?" - Ralph | UPDATE: Pussy gringo Ethan Ralph refused to get on the bus to Taxco and says he's staying in Mexico City instead.

[PermaLurker69]

If Ralph reads this thread, I’d like to direct his attention to the infamous case of American tourist, Mark Kilroy.



Not mentioned in that article is that Mark had been sodomized before he was butchered alive with a machete.

He was targeted specifically because he was white male, or a gringo, as required for the ritual.

Maybe check out Cancun instead.

To add to this, she was oddly looking for a white boi to hook up with and they already got into an argument. Hispanic bitches are crazy.

If sbe was already lived there, they are planning to turn our protagonist into ham and bacon.

 

[LadiosSopp]

My sides will enter lunar orbit if Ralph, by his own hubris, gets carjacked and kidnapped by a cartel.

 

[Pizza Time]

He's actually gonna fucking die, holy shit.

 

[Neetorino]

I'm so not ready for Ralph's "honeypotted by a cartel" arc. That shit was not on my 2024 bingo card but probably should have been. Dog she's from a cartel run state and wants to bring you back?? That's like peak honeypot right there. What a fucking wigger!

 

[Ol' Slag]

My sides will enter lunar orbit if Ralph, by his own hubris, gets carjacked and kidnapped by a cartel.

The cartel only cares if you have money. Take one good look at Ralph and they will just whoop his ass and let him go.

If Ralph talks shit or they mistake his actions as not humble, then all bets are off...

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

If Ralph wasn't such a faggot he'd livestream his entire trip and walk through the gay ass mexico with his selfie stick and blue tooth speaker. But he's too scared to do that, or rent a moped.

 

[Balldo's Gate]

Ralph, don't go!

It's not in the slightest bit safe for anyone to go there right now. But if he doesn't go, Harry Morris will mock him for being scared like a "pussy gringo" bitch. Anyone else would just cancel, but in the weird twisted Ralphamale logic he probably feels that he doesn't have any choice but to go because he would think that to cancel or go somewhere else would mean handing Harry a W.

Harry has been doing some reading:

(Archive)

The first article is the one from the below post. The others are older stories from last year I think.

The chaos and violence in Taxco is now international news: the story is now making its way to the English-language wire agencies as the situation continues to deteriorate. This article came through the Associated Press a few hours ago.

 

[Internet Inquisitor]

My sides will enter lunar orbit if Ralph, by his own hubris, gets carjacked and kidnapped by a cartel

I could see him getting back home to Merida and showing the hole a bullet ripped through his undersized cowboy hat and missed his oversized melon head. At that point I'd be convince that It's God's Plan.

 

[Dingus Egg]

the slightest bit safe

To the town of TEXXXACO came a stranger one fine day...
Everyone is just scared of Big Iron Ralph arc. The Memphis Ranger is inevitable.

 

[Boglim Enthusiast]

God Speed and safe travels to the Gunt, we don't need another CRP situation.

 

[Um...]

The cartel only cares if you have money. Take one good look at Ralph and they will just whoop his ass and let him go.

He has $500 burning a hole in his pocket that he can’t wait to throw around the eating and and drinking establishments of Taxco to impress his totally real not at all rented by the night ‘girlfriend’ with what a BALLER he is. What could go wrong?

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If Ralph talks shit or they mistake his actions as not humble, then all bets are off...

No I’m sure a loud rambunctious sloppy drunk gringo with wads of cash and a Girlfriend he wants to impress with his largesse will fit right with thr locals and not attract the wrong type of attention at all.

 

[Android raptor]

I feel like this Gunt adventure will either be underwhelming or hilarious.

 

[Dixieland Buckaroo]

There's gonna be a hog roast down in Taxco soon. Remember the rule of threes- first CRP, soon Ralph. (Then idk... Rekieta.)

The Sektur may never recover.

 

[Axiom.]

I doubt he's gonna go through with it, he was scared after Cog's boyfriend came to defend his bottom that he just stayed in his hotel room, I will gladly eat Crow if Ralph does survive and becomes the new Teflon tard

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

I don't want him to die but I sure do hope we get a Portugal 2.0 of sorts. Another roughing up incident.

If Senorita Burrita is from the area and is willingly going back with him now, I have to wonder if she thinks she can extort him...

Watch out Ethan.

 

[Alaric the Visigoth]

Nulls prediction about Ralph going to Mexico will come true

 

[Fornicario]

I don't want him to die but I sure do hope we get a Portugal 2.0 of sorts. Another roughing up incident.

If Senorita Burrita is from the area and is willingly going back with him now, I have to wonder if she thinks she can extort him...

Watch out Ethan.

Portugal III. Dan won Portugal II on Cog's stream.

 

[ye's Official KF Burner]

Portugal III. Dan won Portugal II on Cog's stream.

I consider that Portugal 1½

 

[Fornicario]

I consider that Portugal 1½

I see your point. He went down faster than Warski. Didn't even get himself paid.

 

[Haloperidol IM]

Ugh, I'm hoping this is ultimately a non-issue, whether he decides not to go or whether some poor Mexican cop manages to talk some sense into our gringo.

Ethan being beset by humiliating circumstances is fine, but not really into the idea of him getting physically harmed - his shittiness makes him too much of a prized heifer.