🐱 NASA redefines the Zodiac

CatParty
http://distractify.com/geek/2016/09/19/new-zodiac-signs-what

Your whole existence is a lie because NASA ruined everything and informed us that there are actually 13 constellations in the Zodiac — not 12.

FYI, the "new" constellation, which has been around forever but evaded common knowledge, is called Ophiuchus. The Babylonians discovered it but had settled on a 12-month calendar by the time they found a 13th constellation, so they just left it out.

By the way, the groundbreaking information comes from "The Space Place," NASA's kid-friendly, educational website. And it has some information that shakes things up a little:

An article about astrology and constellations explains that zodiac signs were made up 3,000 years ago by the Babylonians, who paired them with the constellations they saw. But, in the thousands of years since then, the position of the constellations has changed, due to the Earth 'wobbling' on its axis.

So, the constellations are no longer in the same spots they once were.

If you want to go back and get the ~accurate~ information, here's an updated list of horoscopes from Modern Astrologers:
• Capricorn: Jan 20 – Feb 16
• Aquarius: Feb 16 – March 11
• Pisces: March 11 – April 18
• Aries: April 18 – May 13
• Taurus: May 13 – June 21
• Gemini: June 21 – July 20
• Cancer: July 20 – August 10
• Leo: August 10 – September 16
• Virgo: September 16 – October 14
• Libra: October 14 – November 23
• Scorpio: November 23 – November 29
• Ophiuchus: November 29 – December 17
• Sagittarius: December 17 – January 20

 
NO MORE CANCER!

But now I have no reason to be crabby all the time...
 
Astrology hasn't been scientific for ages, so a scientific organization really has no power to dictate what it is or isn't. It's unlikely that we'll see any change unless all the horoscope columns agree to it.

The New Ager salt is pretty great tho

[edit: lol corrected spelling how did I miss that]
 
Last edited:
I went from a sign that sort of kind of describes me if you squint to one that doesn't fit me at all. *yawn*
Same here haha, I guess you could call it BULL SHIT (because I'm a Taurus now according to this thing):story:

Actually, this change was "implemented " quite some years ago, but nobody really payed any mind to it's legitamacy it save for the people who wanted to be the "new hip sign". I'm pretty sure the people that implemented it were special snowflakes obsessed with having "cooler" signs. because now everyone that had the cool ones they were fine with have the shitty ones.
In all honesty there isn't any legit reason to add this new sign because Earth is constantly "wobbling on it's axis" and it's so minor that nobody notices it. What are they gonna do next, fuck the calendar up by adding two more months? (I'm obviously joking, but given how fucked things are in the science world lately... *sigh*)


Hilariously, there is ONE thing that's mildly accurate about my "new sign" and it has absolutely fuck all to do with astrology and more to do with Internet cancer.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Trombonista
Also what do you think about this? Or were you the utter fag who actually made it?


Please tell me you aren't the guy with the ball-tickler mustache.
 
Man, fuck you NASA! I'm a proud Scorpio and you will not take that away from me! I refuse to believe I am a Libra, you sack of shit! "Beauty, peace and harmony" my ASS! I am all about motherfucking intensity and loyalty! I am a goddamn fucking meteor made out of fists and puppies! I just... you...

Leos suck. I wanna be a permavirgo.

• Scorpio: November 23 – November 29

Only 7 days out of 365. Those fuckers are going to be an even specialer snowflake than they are now.

You shut you faces you don't know me! :mad::mad::mad::mad:(:_(:heart-empty:
 
Back