Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Thanks for the breakdown on today's stream by folks here. How can anyone question his continuing lolcow-worthiness? This guy is as retarded and smug as ever and he takes such pride in his ignorance that is hilarious and revolting at the same. He still doesn't consider that 2008 hospital visit a stroke even the the symptoms he wrote about were 100% similar to the 2011 stroke that he made a video about on youtube. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that the 1999 stroke was mistyped for some reason and he actually meant 2011. He said today that he had "Only 3 strokes" so I'm assuming he is only registering 2011, 2018 and 2023. A fun thing to do on next week's chat would be to mention to Jack that he had 4 strokes and send him a link to his blog post from his 2008 hospital visit. I really want to know what his response will be. I'm guessing something like "Thanks mom. I guess you are a doctor". You don't have to be a Doctor to figure out that it was a stroke, Jagoff.

Speaking of his mom, I can't believe he played the genetics card. Where are Jim and Charles strokes then? He will never take responsibility for anything. The reason he has issues with the genetics is because he is, was and always will be a fatass.

And he continues to lie through his teeth about his crying on that show. His mom died 4 years before they filmed that episode.

 

[AnOminous]

With this sous vide at 120 shit, Fatty is obviously going backwards. If he had set it for 125, it probably would have actually looked cooked and still been within rare instead of hitting what could possibly be medium rare. But no, we've got a fat moron who looked up the absolutely bottom end of a steak temperature chart and thinks that's somehow acceptable, and to do it for most of a day... so fucking disgusting...

I saw the Guga Foods guys do a chuck steak-style at 140 for 24 hours. It actually looked fairly decent. It was an experiment with a control and one tenderized with pineapple juice. The pineapple ended more tender but practically tasteless.

for jack this is probably authentically life extending because of exertion shitting is so dangerous to him

But if every time you do shit, it's like shitting a bowling ball, he's going to Elvis out on the commode one last time.

Though at this point it's just a matter of what finally takes out this stupid fat bastard.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

He will never take responsibility for anything. The reason he has issues with the genetics is because he is, was and always will be a fatass.

It's like how he blamed his first stroke on energy drinks and caffeine but still drinks coffee to this day. Sure it's piss weak coffee but he chooses a breakfast blend which is lighter in color and taste but has more caffeine. If he was serious about cutting back on the caffeine he'd be drinking espresso. Or the same piss weak coffee black but made with a French or Italian roast. And he can play up his 100% Italian heritage even though there's more Arab in him than anything else.

Or how his kidney stones are because the water there is so hard but there's not much more cases of kidney stones in Hendersonville or the Greater Nashville Area where he lives. If this faggot drank more water he wouldn't even have kidney stones.

He's like DSP in this regard. He did nothing wrong, did everything right and he's 100% Italian. They're also both fat, married to miserable women who are also fat, balding and have a stupid goatee.

 

[Ministry of Shady Links]

Barley has gluten. Any gluten removed or low gluten beer is absolutely not safe for someone with celiac. https://www.glutenfreewatchdog.org/...ission-a-gluten-free-watchdog-special-report/

Gluten free beer is usually brewed with rice, buckwheat, or sorghum.

"...According to Health Canada, the beers they have tested with LC-MS have all contained residual gluten fragments."

"Experts who I trust immensely agree that they can NOT say for certain
at this point in time whether Omission beer is safe for people with celiac
disease to drink based on the data that has been released by Omission."

Most people with celiac do not get an autoimmune response from trace amounts of gluten, so depending on how much gluten "residual gluten fragments" is it might still be safe.

 

[Pig Cups]

He said today that he had "Only 3 strokes"

If I ever get so careless to the point where I’m trivializing serious medical emergencies with language like “only 3-,” as if that’s a positive, fucking just shoot me. That’s an indicator that you have misery to be put out of.

 

[Remember to dilate]

The best part of the recent stream is when Jack says he feels intoxicated every time he walks like that's a good thing.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

The best part of the recent stream is when Jack says he feels intoxicated every time he walks like that's a good thing.

It means his heart is working overtime and not enough oxygen is reaching his brain.

 

[Whaler]

But if every time you do shit, it's like shitting a bowling ball, he's going to Elvis out on the commode one last time.

Makes sense since Jack will scream out "A little less vegetable, a little more raw meat please." before his last meal.

 

[topshrek]

Jack is going all-in on his boomerschizo Q-Anon arc. The NFL is fake, the news is all fake, my doctor pleading with me to consume less processed red meat and cheese for the sake of my continued survival is fake (Okay, MOM?!)

I'm a bit disappointed that we never got to see Jack valiantly whipping his scootypuff around the halls of the Capitol Building before giving a JOTG review of the congressional cafeteria's food

 

[Falcon Sebben]

View attachment 5674237

Jack is going all-in on his boomerschizo Q-Anon arc. The NFL is fake, the news is all fake, my doctor pleading with me to consume less processed red meat and cheese for the sake of my continued survival is fake (Okay, MOM?!)

I'm a bit disappointed that we never got to see Jack valiantly whipping his scootypuff around the halls of the Capitol Building before giving a JOTG review of the congressional cafeteria's food

It's pure mushbrain at this point.

He's not even making any kind of sense that normal people can figure out.

 

[Fried-Rice12]

View attachment 5668735
WAKE UP LIBUHRULS. FAKE MILKS!

He sure is late with this one. I remember reading a newspaper article way back in 2013 where some researchers in the University of Toronto managed to grow meat in a lab out of some cells.
Beyond Meat and the others have been around for years already.
I wonder if the blood vessels in his brain are so clotted with fat that it is making him retarded.

Ahh yes, the clearly labeled and more expensive products... of which most have a small market. Hell, Beyond Meat is going to end up as a penny stock at the rate it's going. $150/share in July 2021, down to under $7.50. Yup, those corporate overlords are certainly getting rich. A bunch of these other companies, Tofurkey, Quorn, vegetarian farms, etc. have all been bought up in the past few years as their stock prices bottomed out so Kellog, Unilever, etc. can fill out their portfolios with "healthy" options. The only batch of products in that picture that even makes money is the milk/cheese stuff due to the large number of people who are lactose intolerant, have issues with rennet in cheese, and shit like that.

I remember warning one of my acquaintances not to buy Beyond Meat and to dump it ASAP. I told him that it was nothing more than a fad because true vegetarians (Buddhists monks for one) do not bother with that disgusting imitation goyslop. I do not know if he managed to escape before the noose closed in on the stock price.

straight from the urn
View attachment 5669970
chef jacque sez: be sure to dump a couple grainy, gritty pounds of grandma's ashes atop your chuck roast before you float it in a BPA-rich walmart storage tub of lukewarm water for 18 hours

if you can still see flesh, it's not seasoned enough. you want a complete snowdrift-- a silver sand dune of sparkling ashes where that gud meat useta be.

Honest question here:
Does this bowl of garlic mushroom pork chop linguine look more appetizing than whatever this obese slob has created?
Presentation aside of course. I am aware that the presentation is a 1/10.

Carniwhore diet

View attachment 5671329

Looks very mediocre. This schnitzel I got for less than 20 euros at Schnellbuffet Sud in Leipzig looks better.

 

[semitooth]

Honest question here:
Does this bowl of garlic mushroom pork chop linguine look more appetizing than whatever this obese slob has created?
Presentation aside of course. I am aware that the presentation is a 1/10.

come on you already know the answer to that nigga

 

[Fried-Rice12]

come on you already know the answer to that nigga

I do not. That is the problem.
Give me an answer, please.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Honest question here:
Does this bowl of garlic mushroom pork chop linguine look more appetizing than whatever this obese slob has created?
Presentation aside of course. I am aware that the presentation is a 1/10.

Honestly? It doesn't look good.

The meat has no color to it so it's just drab beige. The rest of the colors are just beige and brown. I'm sure it tastes okay but it looks terrible. Some color on the dish, like even parsley would be a step up. I'd have added something like red peppers or even tomatoes to give a little more color and would have hit the pork with more heat to brown it a bit.

On the positive side? I can recognize everything in it and it's not covered in copious amounts of grease, cream or shreddy cheese.

 

[rubytintedchix]

In true fat retard fashion, Jack enjoys a light snack of 1lb of barely cooked beef and a whole block of cheese cut into cubes. I don't need to count calories to lose weight, okay MOM?!

I'm no expert grillmaster, but to me that steak doesn't even look rare. Way too much unrendered fat and connective tissue on some of those pieces. But it wouldn't be a proper Jackmeal without him consuming raw flesh and contracting some form of deadly bacteria/parasite

View attachment 5669519

Honestly, the shit he was served in the Nursing Home looked way more appetizing than this and that’s really saying something. I think I’d prefer that over this carnivore “””””diet””””””.

Carniwhore diet

View attachment 5671329

All Jack has to do is take one or more people with him on FOTG and he has plausible deniability. Sure, I took video/pictures of it BUT IT WASN’T MINE. I gave it to the kids, homeless, threw it out. It’s like an excuse choose your own adventure book.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

It's pure mushbrain at this point.

He's not even making any kind of sense that normal people can figure out.

I like to think Tammy just wheels Jack into a corner of the Jesus room before she goes to bed.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

Well consider yourself really lucky Jagoff. What Tranny really meant to say to you was:
Goodnight, sweet prince ... accompanied by a fluffy pillow over your stroke face, followed by a decent life insurance payout. So it looks like today's not the day.
But Omar's ah-comin' .......

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I like to think Tammy just wheels Jack into a corner of the Jesus room before she goes to bed.

That would be funny.

Hammy is tired of his shit and just says, "good night" then walks upstairs to the bedroom leaving him stranded on the main floor. They probably tried putting in a chair lift but it couldn't lift Jagoff because he's too fat.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Seethe more, fatty.

 

[Adamska]

Seethe more, fatty.

View attachment 5674575

Fat man complains about popularity, accidentally reveals latent homosexuality for the 4,211,356th time in the process. Reveals being a victory seeking fake fan to avoid being called a faggot and due to narcissistic injury by proxy for the 245,432nd time too.