Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax

[Commander X]

The latest Rifftrax short is none other than Steamboat Willie.

It’s got Mickey, it’s got Minnie, it’s got a range of barnyard animals Mickey torments for his own perverse musical purposes. It’s the steamer that launched an empire, hop aboard with
Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Steamboat Willie!

:A goat starts to eat the ukulele that Minnie brought on board the steamboat."

CORBETT: "Yep, good job, goat. Eat that uke before Minnie does her twee covers of hip-hop songs."

 

[BScCollateral]

Aliens watching early caartoons will believe the chief purpose of livestock was to make music.

 

[Flexo]

An... interesting update from their patreon.

Hangin' Out with RiffTrax: GRIMTRAX!​ ​

Greetings, Traxians! Tomorrow, we're releasing something that's a little bit out there, even for us: GrimTrax! It's a collection of shorts that we originally felt were just too, well, grim to ever see the light of day - including one that we originally recorded way back in 2012! More on that when we release this special tomorrow. For now, here's our webinar from last week where the writers and riffers discuss how this special came about, and what you might expect. Because nothing can cure the winter SADs like some extra grim riffing, right?​

 

[Commander X]

As an aside, I stumbled across a copy I'd forgotten I had of Nelson's collection of movie reviews, Mike Nelson's Movie Megacheese, most of which had appeared in the magazines Home Theater and Entertainment@Home, published by HarperCollins back in 2000.

In an essay where he tackled both A Vampire in Brooklyn starring Eddie Murphy and the honestly terrible Once Bitten, which starred a pre-In Living Color Jim Carrey and Lauren Hutton as a vampire on the prowl for a virginal victim to help restore her youthful appearance (and it's just as offputting as that sounds), Nelson expresses an opinion where I admit I have flipped flopped between the two camps he identifies in regards to the actor.

As a serious film reviewer, I would be remiss if I didn't Identify a bias toward Jim Carrey. I believe the world to be split into two camps: those who believe him to be a rubbery mock-up of Satan himself, an animated piece of refuse, a mephitic harlequin cast down by God to torment a weary world; and those who think he's "kind of funny."

Carrey begins behaving like a vampire, which worries his parents, who never think to ask him why he's thirty years old and still in high school. The rest of the movie is a struggle between Carrey's virginal girlfriend and the lycanthropic Hutton to win control of Carrey's body and soul. Fighting their own apathy, they do indeed struggle, and eventually Carrey lies with his Lady Love in a coffin, thwarting Hutton's evil plan. It's a touching bit of necrophilia that will have you snapping off the TV with tears in your eyes, gently holding your loved ones and weeping softly into the cruel night, pleading with some unseen guest, "Is there balm In Gilead?"

Also, he does not care for the Batman films of the 1990s.

For those of you who were scared away by the abysmal reviews of Batman & Robin, let me lay to rest some of the prejudices you might have about the film. It's not the worst movie ever, No, indeed. It's the worst thing ever. Yes, it's the single worst thing that we as human beings have ever produced in recorded history. (There may have been a viler clay tablet somewhere in prehistory, but we mustn't spend time speculating on that) Batman & Robin is an act of cold cynicism, reckless incompetence, and unbridled hate. It is a story filled with hints of fetishism and pederasty, displayed with a bald-faced contempt for its audience.
...
The refreshing surprise ol the movie was that Arnold Schwarzenegger didn't turn in the worst performance of the film. That distinction goes to Uma Thurman, who, as Poison Ivy, was as an irritant every bit as potent as her namesake. Jennifer Jason Leigh will be calling her for tips on how to be more grating.

 

[grapeshark77]

GRIMTRAX is out now - went ahead and bought it, I like the idea of a shorts special and doing all dark/depressing ones is a funny idea.

Look at these people in the comments. It's like MST3K never did Last Clear Chance or Days of Our Years, two of their funniest shorts.

 

[The Nothingness]

GRIMTRAX is out now - went ahead and bought it, I like the idea of a shorts special and doing all dark/depressing ones is a funny idea.

Look at these people in the comments. It's like MST3K never did Last Clear Chance or Days of Our Years, two of their funniest shorts.


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These people would be "traumatized" by the episodes that covered The Violent Years and High School Big Shot.

 

[Flexo]

These people would be "traumatized" by the episodes that covered The Violent Years and High School Big Shot.

Hell I don't think they could make it through "I accuse my parents."

 

[Commander X]

gore, child death, and flashing lights

Gore and child death, whatever. Flashing lights?!? I'm outta here!

 

[Level99Manchild]

I was actually thinking about MST3k, and how I "outgrew" it or moved on. Like some people here said or implied, a lot of episodes did not age very well because Joel's stuff has references even older millenials and boomers have forgotten about, and Joel was always a pretentious liberal fuck (reminder he virtue signaled to Felicia Day and feminists as an "ally"). Mike's stuff, however, aged better than Joel's because while his seasons still had references, Mike and the bots mostly riffed on the movies. I don't need to google "My Grandma Daughter" jokes when I watch Space Mutiny. They made great background noise when I did some grinding in my MMO days. The new seasons are impossible to watch because of Felicia Day, Patton Oswalt, and all the other sjw shit Joel added to the last 2 or 3 seasons (Wil Wheaton guest starring in an episode, using Game Grumps when Arin became a lolcow sjw who backstabbed Jontron, etc.). I even gave the new season a chance by watching a clip of the new cast making fun of the old 80s robot movie, and the jokes were flatter than Charlotte Gainsbourgh and Brie Larson's chests. The MST3k marathons have been depressing for how low quality they were, but I think last season's looked like Joel had a budget from his last one of two kickstarter scams. Jonah is a faggot.

Rifftrax is just...so hit and miss for me, but when Rifftrax did some woke shit to pander to sjws I tapped out. One my problems with Rifftrax is it's just 3 voice who won't shut the fuck up, and when the jokes tank it's a shitty experience. Sometimes riffs don't work for watchable movies like the Dark Knight. Imo if you want to do something like Rifftrax, you need a really bad movie to get your jokes working (I can see why people who aren't woke cunts dislike Grimtrax). Dark Knight and even that Little Mermaid anime are watchable (I only saw a few minutes of LM without their riffs, and it's not that bad from what I saw. Besides, it's a kid's movie from Japan, and there's much worse out there aimed at kids). It's not that you can't make fun of Dark Knight, but: one, it's a great Batman movie, and two: You better be sharp with your riffs 24-7 if you're going after good movies because one bad joke ruins it. Mike and crew have been 50-50 especially after drinking the woke Kool-Aid.

Hell I don't think they could make it through "I accuse my parents."

HellCats implied rape scene would make these people flip out. Hell, Brain that wouldn't die would make them scream in agony.

 

[Commander X]

I subscribe to the Patreon for Nelson and Lestowka's podcast 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back and they have embarked on a new book, Kaileb's Dream and it's insane. The first episode is nearly three hours long because it's not only insane, the insanity is thick and dense. The hero of this fantasy novel is a teenager who is a member of an ancient race of warriors who lives in a pyramid shaped domicile somewhere in Ohio, he can fly, has super strength and "panther ears" and feeds on blood because of his panther spirit or whatever, he has "plasma" claws that pop out of his hands, and has a magic battlesuit with spikes that forms around him whenever he needs it but he still goes to high school and determines a fellow student is to be his mistress, deals with a potential demonic invasion and has plenty of time to fool around with cooking very detailed meals and apparently his mouth contains an "ever-present mass of pork" brought up late in the section of the book covered that he is...constantly chewing on? I suppose.

 

[Flexo]

I subscribe to the Patreon for Nelson and Lestowka's podcast 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back and they have embarked on a new book, Kaileb's Dream and it's insane. The first episode is nearly three hours long because it's not only insane, the insanity is thick and dense. The hero of this fantasy novel is a teenager who is a member of an ancient race of warriors who lives in a pyramid shaped domicile somewhere in Ohio, he can fly, has super strength and "panther ears" and feeds on blood because of his panther spirit or whatever, he has "plasma" claws that pop out of his hands, and has a magic battlesuit with spikes that forms around him whenever he needs it but he still goes to high school and determines a fellow student is to be his mistress, deals with a potential demonic invasion and has plenty of time to fool around with cooking very detailed meals and apparently his mouth contains an "ever-present mass of pork" brought up late in the section of the book covered that he is...constantly chewing on? I suppose.

So is the 3 hours just a debate on whether it's a parody or sincere?

Because I'm having that right now. (Anyone else aware of Dragons: Lexicon Triumvate?)

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

They're still doing the MST3K stream on Youtube.

They're now showing The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies. I forgot about how they made men in drag jokes about the dancer in the beginning of the movie. I was really hoping for some premium outrage but was pleasantly surprised that there were only two comments from people not happy about trans jokes.
View attachment 5607836
Doubly funny is how this episode was made in released in 1997, roughly 20 years before all this trans shit popped into existence. Hearing Crow yell "YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN" to the dancer feels like I'm watching something from another world. The jokes in this episode is incredibly refreshing even if I've seen this one movie probably a dozen times already.

I forget which one I was watching months ago, but there was a joke delivered in a gay voice, "Not on Pride Day..." and it reminded me that there was a time before Pride, then there was a day, then a week, then a month, and now Pridea Aeternea. You're right, it's weird to hear, it wasn't that long ago and the culture was much more accepting of gay people before all of the holidays.

 

[Commander X]

Was blindsided by this new 'trax, since it's a movie I've heard of but never really saw entitled Terminus. It stars Karen Allen for a bit near the beginning and features the most annoying futuristic vehicle that talks in a movie tackled by any MST3K alumni since "Warrior of the Lost World". Einstein the chirpy talking motorcycle was a cool breeze in comparison to Terminus's "Monster" a truck controlled by a computer that communicates via a fake human mouth that pops out of the console and speaks in "jive turkey".

Put on your favorite action beret, because Terminus is one of the most European action movies we’ve ever encountered. It’s a French/German production, sort of a Euro Mad Max full of big ideas that don’t really come together, kind of like Euro Disney, or a Coca-Cola served at room temperature.

The least European part of the movie by far is Karen Allen of Indiana Jones fame. Instead of bantering with Harrison Ford, she spends this movie in the company of an intelligent truck with a realistic mouth. We’ll let you read that again. Yes, the focus of the movie Terminus is a self-driving truck that speaks with a huge, fleshy, human mouth. On top of that, the Mouth Truck speaks in what we can only describe as the French idea of “urban slang.” The Cybertruck wishes it could be this off-putting.

Karen Allen and the Mouth Truck are part of a big game, designed by a creepy little blonde boy and his team of pretentious scientists. What’s the point of the game, exactly? We’re hoping you can tell us. What’s the point of Terminus, exactly? Again, we’d love your help with that. And what even is the Terminus, exactly? Answer that one for extra credit.

Hop in the nearest mouthed vehicle and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for the extremely over-complicated sci-fi road race that is Terminus!

 

[Privilege Power Hour]

I subscribe to the Patreon for Nelson and Lestowka's podcast 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back and they have embarked on a new book, Kaileb's Dream and it's insane. The first episode is nearly three hours long because it's not only insane, the insanity is thick and dense. The hero of this fantasy novel is a teenager who is a member of an ancient race of warriors who lives in a pyramid shaped domicile somewhere in Ohio, he can fly, has super strength and "panther ears" and feeds on blood because of his panther spirit or whatever, he has "plasma" claws that pop out of his hands, and has a magic battlesuit with spikes that forms around him whenever he needs it but he still goes to high school and determines a fellow student is to be his mistress, deals with a potential demonic invasion and has plenty of time to fool around with cooking very detailed meals and apparently his mouth contains an "ever-present mass of pork" brought up late in the section of the book covered that he is...constantly chewing on? I suppose.

I know I'm really late on this, but I recently got into the podcast and it's great, even for a guy like me who doesn't listen to much in the way of podcasts. MST3K for books is something I never knew I needed, even going from dreck that eventually makes you angry because the author is such a fucking annoying bottom-feeder nerd who can't write but got paid a ton (Ernest Cline) to terrible but well-meaning and charming trashfires like Eye of Argon. It's also a nice confirmation that Mike turned out to be pretty well-adjusted as a person, something I can't say for most childhood favorites. Highly recommend.

 

[Flexo]

I know I'm really late on this, but I recently got into the podcast and it's great, even for a guy like me who doesn't listen to much in the way of podcasts. MST3K for books is something I never knew I needed, even going from dreck that eventually makes you angry because the author is such a fucking annoying bottom-feeder nerd who can't write but got paid a ton (Ernest Cline) to terrible but well-meaning and charming trashfires like Eye of Argon. It's also a nice confirmation that Mike turned out to be pretty well-adjusted as a person, something I can't say for most childhood favorites. Highly recommend.

They stay focused on the books right? There's not any political sperging or anything? (or if there is, is it even handed?)

 

[Jimjamflimflam]

They stay focused on the books right? There's not any political sperging or anything? (or if there is, is it even handed?)

100% focus on the books. Its a good podcast, have listened to it on repeat to many times so far.

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

They stay focused on the books right? There's not any political sperging or anything? (or if there is, is it even handed?)

Absolutely none. Mike's a Christian, Conservative, and Midwestern which means any religion or politics is ignored because it's not the time or place.

 

[Privilege Power Hour]

They stay focused on the books right? There's not any political sperging or anything? (or if there is, is it even handed?)

Yes, the books are the focus. I skipped ahead to listen to the episodes about Dodie Smith's sequel to 101 Dalmatians (very worth it, some of the funniest stuff I've heard in a while), and there were some places where other people would have started politisperging hard and they didn't. For example, there's a lot of stuff that's basic dog breeding talk (don't breed dogs with deformities, etc.) that ends up sounding like straight-up eugenics since these are all intelligent talking dogs and the author keeps describing them as "getting married." Instead of going off on how this sounds like some right-wing whatever, they just make jokes about how Pongo's runt who starts organizing the dogs is just Dog Hitler. That's not to mention Mike wondering if Patch didn't get married because he keeps bringing his Very Special Roommate to all the family gatherings, and they need to go because there's a great interior decorating store they want to go to before it closes. That's as far as they go, and those are the same jokes anyone would have made before the Eternal Current Year.

On a different note, I feel like I've learned a lot about what NOT to do when writing because of the things they keep pointing out. Don't handwave things that happen by talking about "various" or "assorted" things as in "the beast growled and made other assorted sounds," just describe those sounds or don't mention them! As the author you know what's happening, don't shrug your shoulders at trying to describe a situation! If you have a POV character, don't have them wonder what their body is doing or mind is thinking, they should know!

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

My hands-down favorite book they did was "Super Constitution". I won't say anything about it so you can go in blind like they did; if you want some of the weirdest bad writing and worse ideas, this is the one, and their confusion and outrage is hilarious.

 

[MCLOS Horthy]

My hands-down favorite book they did was "Super Constitution". I won't say anything about it so you can go in blind like they did; if you want some of the weirdest bad writing and worse ideas, this is the one, and their confusion and outrage is hilarious.

My favorite part is how blasé Charles Kim is with the whole situation. He writes all this shit and shrugs his shoulders like it's a foregone conclusion that everyone agrees on.