Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Associate Rick]

I wonder if I meditate upon the existence of fatrick before bed tonight if I might dream of him again.....

....I will report upon my findings on the morrow

No don't invite him, before you know it you'll be childing random people in the streets, gorging on fatty foods and lite beer and no priest can chase this demon away, he's too fat.

 

[Say What Now?]

I wonder if I meditate upon the existence of fatrick before bed tonight if I might dream of him again.....

....I will report upon my findings on the morrow

No, DON'T!
The Fat Man is worse than the Hat Man

 

[Broadside]

What I'm trying to say is Patrick you need to start doing live stream if you want to be internet famous and I know you fucking do.

He tried YouTube and his personality vacuum collapsed in on itself.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

What I'm trying to say is Patrick you need to start doing live stream if you want to be internet famous and I know you fucking do.

Pat has almost zero self-awareness, yet even he realizes he is utterly incapable of thinking on his feet or speaking contemporaneously. Pat is only comfortable in situations where he can read directly from a script (as he did even on his brief YouTube monologues) or regurgitate the same shitty ‘bon mots’ he’s relied on for years. The spontaneity of streaming would be light years beyond what pass for his abilities.

 

[Lizard Pope]

I think that if Patrick was much more crude and animalistic (not to discount his Porcine nature, I mean if patrick was a more aggressive, carnivorous and less fat kind of animalistic) he wouldn't grind black children into pepperoni but instead swallow them whole via his gaping maw like this Komodo Dragon did to this goat

Man, don't compare us to Jennifer (fat)!

 

[unexpected onions]

My friend who’s new to Pat asked me a question that I’m not sure has been entertained yet: How do we think Torswats would even get on the radar of a boomer moron like Pat before the Vice article that made his Telegram service famous? It’s not like Telegram is a flea market and it’s not like Pat is tech-savvy.

What if he's telling the truth and it wasn't him who ordered the swats, but actually Jackie pretending to be him? That would be the funniest plot twist.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

What if he's telling the truth and it wasn't him who ordered the swats, but actually Jackie pretending to be him? That would be the funniest plot twist.

That would be funny, especially if Pat gave her access to his phone and email to “run security checks” and she signed up for Gemini and Telegram accounts in his name while she had it. Unfortunately that’s completely out of sequence of how things happened.

 

[MilkThePig]

First of all alleged man, second, what he lacks in manliness he makes up in amount of chins. And then some.

That image counts as a suicide demand, child. It will go on the list with the rest of your crimes. Wait for the knock.

 

[Gentlebastard]

Ok the dimensional merge is starting to effect my dreams.

I swear to fucking god and I am not lying here I had a fever dream last night about driving a double decker bus down a tiny country road while fatrick was blocking my path with some girls bicycle and going "no child I will not" whenever I asked him to move.

This went on for like an hour dream time while the handful of people within said bus were getting increasingly irate and insisting they could not see fatrick blocking the road

EDIT: Ok to give some more details, the lil country road was about to merge into a highway, there was a stone fence and fields to my right and derelict looking houses to my left. I tried to steer the bus around fatrick but he just waddled to block me no matter where i tried to steer. It really was quite distressing

Fatrick exercising? And for more than five minutes, without puking his lungs out from overexertion? Truly something belonging to the realm of fantasy.

 

[WelperHelper99]

Fatrick exercising? And for more than five minutes, without puking his lungs out from overexertion? Truly something belonging to the realm of fantasy.

Pat just going on a spring day walk at a comfortable temperature would be absolutely hilarious. He'd come home drenched with pig sweat after only half a mile, and drink a gallon if water.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

The talk of pig sweat reminded me that Fatty Patty sleeps naked. Can you imagine how rancid his bed and sheets must be after a night of Rick rolling around in it?

 

[Sneedfully and Peacefully]

The talk of pig sweat reminded me that Fatty Patty sleeps naked. Can you imagine how rancid his bed and sheets must be after a night of Rick rolling around in it?

The sweat and hog hair and farts seeped into that mattress. It's a biohazard.

 

[Maude Snew]

That would be funny, especially if Pat gave her access to his phone and email to “run security checks” and she signed up for Gemini and Telegram accounts in his name while she had it. Unfortunately that’s completely out of sequence of how things happened.

Also they're both way too fat and stupid to even grasp how to do any of that. Reminder that Jackie couldn't figure out how to access tor and just put the onion in a regular browser window.

 

[StopSneeding]

New Cryptic Web Chronicles video is out:

 

[Kela de Thaym]

How do you think that'd work? Would adipose tissue just glop out of him in a big gelatinous mass or would he spray grease everywhere like a sprinkler?

The gelatinous mass would likely go through his mouth orfices (mid-"enjoy prison, aTalker child"), though spraying grease everywhere ala a sprinkler is viable: it'd unclog those porky pores real quick.

 

[Dean Pentel]

No don't invite him, before you know it you'll be childing random people in the streets, gorging on fatty foods and lite beer and no priest can chase this demon away, he's too fat.
View attachment 5675783

This post caused me to notice that Patrick has never once xeeted about encounters with a sleep paralysis demon. As wealthy a vein of human suffering as he and his life are and they wouldn't dare get near him.

Pat just going on a spring day walk at a comfortable temperature would be absolutely hilarious. He'd come home drenched with pig sweat after only half a mile, and drink a gallon if water.

Wrong in every respect as always, stalker. Patrick doesn't consume water, which is better used in his bespoke pepperoni production. No, he greedily slurps down the drink of the miserable faggot that nobody likes and whose life is fucking trash: IPAs.

Also, maybe he should try getting a job.

He has a job, child. When he's not busy fixing the world one xeet at a time, he's authoring a successful sci-fi book series and not paying even a single penny to clinically obsessed stalker cults that have sought the slaughter of him and his family for millennia.

Your job now is to wait for the knock, atalker, and prepare to enjoy prison because your life is over.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

The talk of pig sweat reminded me that Fatty Patty sleeps naked. Can you imagine how rancid his bed and sheets must be after a night of Rick rolling around in it?

Continuing the tour of my bedsheets, next to the phosphorus lake is what I call the fly landing strip..

 

[AnOminous]

This post caused me to notice that Patrick has never once xeeted about encounters with a sleep paralysis demon.

The only demons he encounters are obesity paralysis demons. Because he's fat.

 

[Meat Target]

The only demons he encounters are obesity paralysis demons. Because he's fat.

It's called sleep apnea.

 

[Post Reply]

I refuse to believe Patrick is a Deus Ex fan. No way he could enjoy something so based. Also, maybe he should try getting a job.