I just got out of an abusive living situation on New Year’s Eve. I was assaulted and beaten, I couldn’t even pack all of my things because they were literally being torn off my back as I left, bags ripped open in an attempt to steal them and lock me outside. That included my winter boots, and my glasses even being ripped of my face and slammed in the door. I took a cab to a motel and stayed there for almost a week until my savings were all gone. I reached out for help and found a First Nations organization who contacted a shelter for women escaping abuse and found me a room.
I’ve been living here for a month and not a single person aside from a few staff members know I’m trans. The older women cannot believe I’m not a mom, the kids here love me and ask to borrow my Blahajs for sleepovers, I give them makeup lessons and plan activities with them on the weekends, I hold the babies so that the other ladies can have enough privacy for a bath or a meal, and my new friend even called me beautiful for how much I help her kids. Beautiful like a mother.
The staff absolutely adore me and think I’m the cutest thing ever, they took me aside today to actually tell me I’m more of a woman than half the ladies in here. I don’t think they even realized how much that statement meant to me… they told me I brighten their day more than ever since I’ve been living here and literally said I’m “everything a woman should be”
They told me that I’m kind, and loving, and warm, and beautiful, and gentle, and that I’m strong.
And I started crying.
I’ve never been called strong in my entire life… and I guess I’ve never known the true meaning of strength until I lost my physical ability to exert it, but feel stronger than ever after the girls told me that today.
Women are strong because we empower each other. I learned sooooo much living in this women’s shelter and finally feel like I can say I 100% pass as a woman. I feel like I was meant to hit rock bottom so I can find this place, everyone here is so fucking nice to me and I’m told that I’m beautiful every single day, they all call me girl and sweetheart and now I’m convinced that the only reason I get misgendered is because I tell people I’m trans, because it hasn’t happened in a whole 5 months since I moved to a new city.
I love myself and I’m loved. Today I feel like I’m finally finished my transition in mind and soul, and I’ll be resuming HRT on Valentine’s Day after being cut off after the 1.5 year mark by my last doctor. The councillors were so happy to hear the news about my HRT last night they got together to give me presents and a mommy talk, and now here I am sharing it all with you


