Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Yes Fatty, why bother? Just die already(no, don't die we need to be able to laugh at your stupid ass)
View attachment 5699048

Yet fatty won't do anything to prevent the next stroke or fix his gimp arm

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

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!ATTENTION ALL HADURS AND GODLESS DETRACTORS OF THIS THREAD!​

!YOU HAVE BEEN OWNED!

As you can see from image above: Jack is now, in fact, back. He's totally normal and has 100% recovered from all strokes and will now be returning for many more years of Cooking with Jack.

So, Jack, now that you've totally recovered what are you going to make next on the show?

Fuck

​

 

[Gulls on Film]

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!ATTENTION ALL HADURS AND GODLESS DETRACTORS OF THIS THREAD!​

!YOU HAVE BEEN OWNED!
View attachment 5699822​

As you can see from image above: Jack is now, in fact, back. He's totally normal and has 100% recovered from all strokes and will now be returning for many more years of Cooking with Jack.

So, Jack, now that you've totally recovered what are you going to make next on the show?
View attachment 5699856
Fuck

​

"I'm back", says the man who hasn't taken a picture of himself upright(and not propped up against his kitchen counter) in over a year. Also, it seems he's already reusing his keto diet secret technique, baking sheddy cheese into an unholy clump as a bread substitute.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Yet fatty won't do anything to prevent the next stroke or fix his gimp arm

But he left it up to God to fix. Obviously God felt it was better that he live with a gimp arm.

But who are we kidding? Even if God is real he's only going to meet you halfway. He needs you to at least put in the effort. Go to physio. Teach your brain to relearn how to work your arm. You might never get all the movement back in it but maybe you'd be able to use it in some way. I mean isn't "God helps those that helps themselves" not Christian dogma? I sure hear it all the time if it isn't.

So, Jack, now that you've totally recovered what are you going to make next on the show?

Fuck

Well that's it. I'm going vegetarian for a while. Fatty has put me off meat.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

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!ATTENTION ALL HADURS AND GODLESS DETRACTORS OF THIS THREAD!​

!YOU HAVE BEEN OWNED!
View attachment 5699822​

As you can see from image above: Jack is now, in fact, back. He's totally normal and has 100% recovered from all strokes and will now be returning for many more years of Cooking with Jack.

It looks like he's in a dorm room with those curtains. His facial expression also looks very gay and very sassy and not in a good way.

 

[Super Hans v2]

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!ATTENTION ALL HADURS AND GODLESS DETRACTORS OF THIS THREAD!​

!YOU HAVE BEEN OWNED!
View attachment 5699822​

As you can see from image above: Jack is now, in fact, back. He's totally normal and has 100% recovered from all strokes and will now be returning for many more years of Cooking with Jack.

So, Jack, now that you've totally recovered what are you going to make next on the show?
View attachment 5699856
Fuck

​

Other than the dead arm and mostly-dead legs, having to crook your head to make it look like half of it isn't drooping, that you have the figure of a morbidly obese 60 year old female, and that you're still ashamed of your baldness, yeah, Jack, you're so fucking back.

And how the hell are you supposed to eat that tower of grease? I was bitching a while ago about how the in thing was to stack a burger taller than wide, but this takes the cake.

 

[King Dead]

But he left it up to God to fix. Obviously God felt it was better that he live with a gimp arm.

But who are we kidding? Even if God is real he's only going to meet you halfway. He needs you to at least put in the effort. Go to physio. Teach your brain to relearn how to work your arm. You might never get all the movement back in it but maybe you'd be able to use it in some way. I mean isn't "God helps those that helps themselves" not Christian dogma? I sure hear it all the time if it isn't.

Actually, it isn't, though it's a very common misconception that it is (polls have shown 70-80% of Americans think it's a verbatim quote from the Bible). If you'll permit some minor religion sperging, the Bible actually teaches that God is a helper to the helpless, aiding all who call on him. The gift of God's grace is given freely to all believers, and it would probably be sacrilegious to say that one could "help themself" to salvation. God will help you if you ask, simple as that.

That said, while you can't obtain salvation through your own deeds, that doesn't mean you should just throw a quick prayer to God and then kick back on the sofa and do nothing else. Instead, you should still be aiming to lead a good and upright life and following Christian teachings. Furthermore, that means that if you're asking for God's help on something, you need to be putting in the effort. The big man doesn't really do a lot of ridiculously miraculous things these days.

In the case of Scalfatty, prayer alone wasn't going to heal the gimp arm or cure his multitude of ailments because that's not how prayer works. What he should have been praying for was the strength to work through physical therapy, the willpower to change his diet and exercise, and the love and support of his family every step of the way, then got busy improving himself. Instead, he gorges on obscene quantities of meat and cheese after five fucking strokes and angrily yells at all da hadurz that tell him he's eating himself to death, all while pretending to be a "gud christian." Suffice it to say, Jack gets it so very, very wrong.

Here's a couple links that I paraphrased (short one, long one). Your post made me remember how my pastor has brought up this line before and how it's misconstrued.

 

[boxybum]

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!ATTENTION ALL HADURS AND GODLESS DETRACTORS OF THIS THREAD!​

!YOU HAVE BEEN OWNED!
View attachment 5699822​

As you can see from image above: Jack is now, in fact, back. He's totally normal and has 100% recovered from all strokes and will now be returning for many more years of Cooking with Jack.

So, Jack, now that you've totally recovered what are you going to make next on the show?
View attachment 5699856
Fuck

​

Even If I was the healthiest person in the world with perfectly clear arteries and a strong heart. I would never eat this abomination. This looks like constipation on a plate. It looks like the embodiment of colon cancer.

 

[Crex Crex]

Fuck, I wouldn't even let a pig eat that thing.

 

[lindsayfan]

Fuck, I wouldn't even let a pig eat that thing.

i would, but not a pig i liked -- only a pig that was my enemy. i would have to hate a pig to let it eat that.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

I was almost thinking Jack is starting to troll people, but he's not that smart. Even fatass Wisconsinites wouldn't eat that much cheese.

 

[p1138]

And yet somehow, Fatty has still once again failed to melt a slice of cheese on top of a hamburger patty three times in one go. You'd think he might have accidentally got the cheese to melt once... nope.

 

[Kosher Salt]

As you can see from image above: Jack is now, in fact, back. He's totally normal and has 100% recovered from all strokes and will now be returning for many more years of Cooking with Jack.

This deviates from the usual "slightly askew filming angle" and goes all the way to "looks like one of those AI generated images where nothing is quite straight" (including the faggot in the not-quite-middle of the picture). Only serves to enhance Jack's stroked-out droopy appearance.

 

[Ihatejackscalfani]

That comment made me laugh.

It does indeed look like shit, Jack.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

What he should have been praying for was the strength to work through physical therapy, the willpower to change his diet and exercise, and the love and support of his family every step of the way, then got busy improving himself. Instead, he gorges on obscene quantities of meat and cheese after five fucking strokes and angrily yells at all da hadurz that tell him he's eating himself to death, all while pretending to be a "gud christian." Suffice it to say, Jack gets it so very, very wrong.

So maybe I could have worded it better but this is more or less what I was thinking. But as I said I've heard that phrase from self-professed Christians so figured it was somewhere in the footnotes of the bible like you read this parable and this is what it boils down to. Kinda like Catechism or Bible Cliff Notes. But then I'm not a bible sperg so what do I know?

And yet somehow, Fatty has still once again failed to melt a slice of cheese on top of a hamburger patty three times in one go. You'd think he might have accidentally got the cheese to melt once... nope.

I've never understood his desire to eat cold cheese on a cheeseburger. The texture is just weird. This is why everywhere you go they take the cheese and melt it on the patty before sticking it on the bun.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

So, Jack, now that you've totally recovered what are you going to make next on the show?

Fuck

I think my LDL just went up 300 points just by looking at this photo

 

[semitooth]

been looking forward to this one

 

[Tiresome]

Oh my god. Right from the start, Jack doesn't get it. He absolutely does not get it. I love this.

"This is my buddy Rob. Please, show him some love, be nice." Jack, like CWC, thinks trolls just happen, like people staring when you're half blind, half-crippled and stuffing MEET down your throat. Jack baby, Rob is in no danger of being trolled.

Rob, for his part, picked the most hilariously perfectly named restaurant, Hungry Jack's, Australia's answer to Burger King, and from Patti's cheery pointing I can only imagine the delightful Mrs. Rob is fully in on the whole deal. Rob uses Jack's own puerile, childish, lizard-brain criteria, making sure to add in at the end how SPENSIVE everything is, but since Rob and Patti aren't white trash grifters, they can afford overseas vacations AND to buy a whole hamburger without whining about the cost.

Rob makes sure to ask Patti what the food item is he purchased 2 minutes before and mentioned only seconds before. Patti happily obliges. Everybody needs a Patti.

Rob does NOT do the tongue-extend nor the sideways bite, and that is because he was NOT raised like a fucking animal. He does however mention how huge Jack insists his bites are and does so, making sure to get some on his face. Then does a very credible imitation of the Jackian retard-staring-at-the-sky "thoughtful" flavor judgment look, when we all know Jack only does it because he's trying desperately to detect flavor, any flavor. Capping it off with his eloquent and detailed pronouncement: "Gud."

Then in the outro, realizes he should really give us the taco bite to get the MEET first. Weird little Australian bird steals some lettuce, and Jack proclaims Rob's video REALLY GUD.

I hope Jack has learned a little something from all this. That being, what it's like when your wife of many years is actually happy to be in your presence. Have a nice day, lardass.

 

[p1138]

Rob does NOT do the tongue-extend nor the sideways bite, and that is because he was NOT raised like a fucking animal.

Sounds like someone didn't watch the bloopers at the end lol

edit: ah nvm I'm dumb, didn't read the end of your post.

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

Cant wait for Jack to start seething when he realizes this feature with Rob will be the most liked video he would have put out in a long time with positive comments.