I am a Pigma Male
That means I am better than the rest of you childs
Read along, repeat after me, and you too can become obese and homosexual, like me. Fatrick S Tomlinson
Let us begin
1. I am a Pigma Male
2. I am the fattest and most autistic faggot there is
3. I am confident in social media situations, because I imprison the stalkers who speak ill of me
4. I do not rely on anyone else for help, because nobody wants to help me
5. Other piggish queers come to me for advice, because I am fatter and gayer than them, and therefore better than them
6. I do not listen to others, because nobody wants to talk to me
7. I do not read books, because my fingers are too fat to turn the pages
8. I do not listen to audiobooks, because I keep getting advertisements for gym equipment, and I am too poor to afford premium
9. I am physically strong, and am able to lift even the largest black child into my grinder
10. I am also brave, and will never back down from an internet fight, no matter how many tens of thousands of my mother in law's dollars it costs me
11. I have more meat in my basement than anyone else in Milwaukee, thanks to the abundance of food stamps among the local african american community
12. I am a lone wolf, because every bar in a five mile radius has either banned me or enacted a "dont talk to the fat retard with the laptop" policy, and I am unable to walk any further
13. I have a vast arsenal of obnoxiously legal firearms which I would practice with daily were it not for the trigger guards being too small for my bloated fingers
14. If a sign says "stay off the grass" I will waddle over it anyway, and write "no child I will not" underneath the words with a sharpie
15. Sometimes I like to go to the Rosa Parks memorial, and drop grotesque diabetic shits on the plaque for fun
16. Late at night, I will play Nickelback at max volume, and when the neighbors complain I will tell them they are going to prison
17. I will oink at, and threaten people at every opportunity. This is the true mark of a Pigma Male.
18. I will angrily respond to every single xeet, text, and prank phone call with empty threats and piggish simpering over my own superiority
19. I do not waste my time thinking about irrelevant things like my mother in law's bank account, my wife's career, or my daughter's entire existence. Every second you spend time thinking, is a second you are not on your Pigma grindset
20. If a stalker calls me fat on xitter, I tell him to enjoy prison
21. If my toilet calls me gay by text message, I tell him he is not my toilet, and to enjoy prison
22. If the police kick down my door, demanding to know where little DeShawn is, I tell them to leave and never return
23. If you are not solving all your problems with prissy social media tantrums and oinked threats of eternal prison, you are not a true Pigma
24. As Pigma males, we must look to the noble Pig for guidance and inspiration, for example do not consider the feelings of others, just eat your slop and shit where you sleep.
25. Do not respect the humanity of lesser beings like your ex-wife or your daughter, just threaten to kill them in a drunken rage if you feel like it
26. Sometimes you may be required to Pay Quasi. Deny everything no matter how much you keep having to Pay Quasi. Shameless denial of the most basic and verifiable realities, like your weight, your career successes, your masculinity, whether you get pegged or not, whether you SWAT yourself, or whether your wife enjoys being farted in by DeShawn Sr, is one of the key requirements of being a true Pigma
Meditate on this child, bury it deep in your lard coated skull, and perhaps one day you too will become a true Pigma GigaFat
(concept shamelessly stolen from DreadAnon)