Science I shove batteries into my penis for pleasure — then 3 of them got stuck

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I shove batteries into my penis for pleasure — then 3 of them got stuck​

Call him the Energizer dummy.

A 73-year-old Australian man was positively shocked to need urgent urethra surgery after jamming three button-style batteries into his penis.

The unidentified man, whose medical anomaly is now the source of a revolting medical study in March’s Urology Case Reports, had been fueling his own “sexual gratification” by intentionally shoving batteries into the one-way tunnel.

“To the best of our understanding, this is the first reported case of urethral necrosis with button battery insertion,” the authors wrote.

The patient had reportedly inserted batteries several times before without them getting stuck inside.

He also endured shockwave therapy on his member — he had suffered erectile dysfunction for three years.
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After the septuagenarian waited 24 hours to seek medical attention, doctors moved quickly to remove the foreign objects as their corrosiveness can cause necrosis — the death of body tissue — in just two hours.

They also feared the potentially rare but lethal infection of Fournier’s gangrene.

After several unsuccessful approaches, surgeons resorted to forceps, which finally got out the little buggers.

“All extracted batteries were coated with black tar-like material,” the study gruesomely noted.

That wasn’t the end of it, though. Ten days later, the man returned to the hospital, complaining of swelling and icky discharge, prompting doctors to aggressively operate yet again.

“An incision was made to the penile skin,” researchers noted, adding that “a large amount” of fluids leaked out.

The doctors’ fears that the man developed an “extensive degree of necrosis” were realized — and part of his urethra had to be removed.

“Given the complexity of his injury, it was deemed that formal penile urethral reconstruction would likely require a 3-stage repair,” according to the researchers, who described the complex, six-month procedure of mucous membrane grafts.

After assessing the extremely damaged penis, ultimately doctors “decided that the best option would be for no further penile reconstruction.”
 
You would think some of these people would actually just try getting laid instead
 
  • Optimistic
Reactions: KiwiFuzz2
He suffered ED, huh? And he's 73? Sounds normal for his age to not be able to get it up anymore, but holy hell are the elderly impressionable. There's been all these articles about sounding for the last few years, no doubt some fogey was going to get desperate enough to try it (when the articles were meant for the young).
 
He suffered ED, huh? And he's 73? Sounds normal for his age to not be able to get it up anymore, but holy hell are the elderly impressionable. There's been all these articles about sounding for the last few years, no doubt some fogey was going to get desperate enough to try it (when the articles were meant for the young).
It's really fucking stupid too since there are better ways to treat fucking ED than shoving batteries in your dick.
 
Button batteries are notorious for damaging little kids' throats (archive) (informative, not explicit).
Button cells are unique because they have a metal case, but unlike say a 18650, they do not have any venting/directing mechanism. In a thermal runway failure they just build pressure until the crimping fails. It sounds like you're setting off a firecracker when they go. Not a crazy amount of energy, but I'd imagine it's more than enough to cause major damage if its in the urethra.
 
I asked myself "How does someone at that age even have the energy to be this cumbrained?",

It's been a few years since I heard this, but I'm fairly certain STDs run rampant in old folks homes.

Think senile college kids with nothing better to do than fuck each other.
 
There is a pooner named Ashton Williams who got the mucus membrane urethroplasty and now she has a speech impediment from the removal of cheek mucosa tissue and the fake dick keeps failing.

Do you think the Hindu Gods say this to someone right before they reincarnate them as a female?
What...what does that mean exactly?
 
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