Coming Out to Friends as a Transphobe

[Echo_Ender]

I don't have any friends that are alphabet people, now that I think on it. Not even alphabet-adjacent. Huh.

Why are so many of you friends with perverts?

It's not people seeking them out. Half the time it's just friends going to college, getting swept up in the genderspecial cults, and coming back messed up.

I finally lost my last tabletop RPG friend group earlier this year because I told them there was no way I was going to invite an enby into our campaign (which I ran).

We have a successful tabletop group that has been going strong for almost a decade. Because we have two main rules:

1. You have to be vouched for by someone in the group.
2. You keep your politics and personal issues out of the games.

We have had all kinds in the group by following these rules. Hillbillies, black dudes, a couple gay guys, a lesbian, and every flavor of politics from republican to democrat.

But, without fail, every genderspecial/trans we have given a chance in the group has violated that rule and gotten kicked out within 6 months. Almost always by sperging out about politics or trying to bring their trans stuff into the game.

No, we don't need you calling other players transphobes for being excited about the Hogwarts game.

No, there is no reason for your character to be a genderspecial angsting about "Transitioning" in a setting where there are semi-common spells that can instantly, permanently change not just gender, but your entire race or species.

Sorry, but the Call of Cthuhlu game set in the 1920s is going to expect traditional gender roles and not be LGBTTBBQ friendly.

The only other people we've had to kick out (And we didn't even officially kick them out, just stopped inviting them) were people who were personally obnoxious and/or didn't mesh with the group.

And that was mostly because they were constantly whining about the foods not being catered to their stupid kosher/vegetarian/allergic to everything diets.

 

[Susanna]

every flavor of politics from republican to democrat

Woah, both liberals and other liberals? How diverse!

 

[Lake]

It's not people seeking them out. Half the time it's just friends going to college, getting swept up in the genderspecial cults, and coming back messed up.

Maybe this is a generational thing, but I had exactly zero friends troon out in college. I wouldn't be friends with anyone that was so desperate for attention and validation, or so weak that strangers on the internet made them question who they are. I guess ymmv.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

Get drunk at a birthday party and start sperging about autogynephiles being sexual predators.

It was received better than you'd expect.

Update: the topic came up again a while ago and someone else in the friend group used the word autogynephilia, unprompted.

We just can't stop winning.

 

[CorporateMemphis]

I'm in a dilemma. My daughter has a very close friend and they are inseparable. This friend was using they/them pronouns for a while. I don't know whether she still is.. but she spread the mind virus to my child (believing in gender identities, not having one). I get on well with her mother and I think she's a sane person, but I suspect her older daughter (about eighteen YO) has been feeding the family and by extension, my daughter a line of bullshit about "gender identities", etc.

Anyway, my gut feeling is that this mother has reservations... I want to just email her a PDF of "Irreversible Damage" but my wife thinks I need to be more subtle. Like, maybe go to the pub with my wife and her and her boyfriend and after a few beers I could work in the subject of sterilising children being a bit dodgy.. I dunno. I'm no good at subtlety. Thoughts?

 

[m1ddl3m4rch]

Anyway, my gut feeling is that this mother has reservations... I want to just email her a PDF of "Irreversible Damage" but my wife thinks I need to be more subtle. Like, maybe go to the pub with my wife and her and her boyfriend and after a few beers I could work in the subject of sterilising children being a bit dodgy.. I dunno. I'm no good at subtlety. Thoughts?

You could have them over for dinner and leave out books like Irreversible Damage, or when you pick them up to go out, move stuff off your front seat for them to sit down and that book is right there. Even better with four people in the car, ask the passenger just to hold this stuff real quick, the place is just around the corner. Ask if they're reading any books lately, and listen with genuine interest, then when the question is returned to you, talk about Irreversible Damage or whatnot

 

[Nonconsentual Pronouns]

I'm in a dilemma. My daughter has a very close friend and they are inseparable. This friend was using they/them pronouns for a while. I don't know whether she still is.. but she spread the mind virus to my child (believing in gender identities, not having one). I get on well with her mother and I think she's a sane person, but I suspect her older daughter (about eighteen YO) has been feeding the family and by extension, my daughter a line of bullshit about "gender identities", etc.

Anyway, my gut feeling is that this mother has reservations... I want to just email her a PDF of "Irreversible Damage" but my wife thinks I need to be more subtle. Like, maybe go to the pub with my wife and her and her boyfriend and after a few beers I could work in the subject of sterilising children being a bit dodgy.. I dunno. I'm no good at subtlety. Thoughts?

I highly recommend being honest, but reserved. If you're a concerned parent, maybe speak genuinely to them by starting off with a related topic (such as child sterilization, as you mentioned) before telling them that as a parent, you are concerned. The conveniently placed propaganda angle could eventually backfire as coming across as, well, propaganda. Propaganda that you intend to push onto them rather than literature about an important sociopolitical topic that is relevant to your current concerns. Regardless of the rout you take, please be mindful about potential blowback from others who may feel as though you're manipulating them. It sucks losing friends who take it the wrong way when you only mean well towards them.

It's good to hear that you care enough about your daughter and her future to be worried about this seed being planted in her head. Best of luck to you, and please don't give up.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

I'm in a dilemma. My daughter has a very close friend and they are inseparable. This friend was using they/them pronouns for a while. I don't know whether she still is.. but she spread the mind virus to my child (believing in gender identities, not having one). I get on well with her mother and I think she's a sane person, but I suspect her older daughter (about eighteen YO) has been feeding the family and by extension, my daughter a line of bullshit about "gender identities", etc.

Anyway, my gut feeling is that this mother has reservations... I want to just email her a PDF of "Irreversible Damage" but my wife thinks I need to be more subtle. Like, maybe go to the pub with my wife and her and her boyfriend and after a few beers I could work in the subject of sterilising children being a bit dodgy.. I dunno. I'm no good at subtlety. Thoughts?

I probably wouldn't jump straight into sending the book, it feels a bit heavy handed. I always find that the Keira Bell case is a good icebreaker, it's indisputable mainstream news so you can bring it up as if you just happened to see an article that made you worried instead of sounding like the Kiwi Farmer you are. Telling people about it usually results in them agreeing that children are not capable of making these decisions, and there you have your opening to say you're concerned about your daughter being influenced.

 

[RX-78]

I'm in a dilemma. My daughter has a very close friend and they are inseparable. This friend was using they/them pronouns for a while. I don't know whether she still is.. but she spread the mind virus to my child (believing in gender identities, not having one). I get on well with her mother and I think she's a sane person, but I suspect her older daughter (about eighteen YO) has been feeding the family and by extension, my daughter a line of bullshit about "gender identities", etc.

Anyway, my gut feeling is that this mother has reservations... I want to just email her a PDF of "Irreversible Damage" but my wife thinks I need to be more subtle. Like, maybe go to the pub with my wife and her and her boyfriend and after a few beers I could work in the subject of sterilising children being a bit dodgy.. I dunno. I'm no good at subtlety. Thoughts?

You need to play the power mom card and explain to your daughter that her friend is going down a terrible road with irreversible consequences, and that the last thing you want is for her to be lured down the same path. No sugar coating, no soft handed approach, just maternal love supported by a hell of a lot of statistics.

No bullshit, this is going to suck and she will get very emotional and you will feel awful afterwards. That being said, ask yourself what is worse: your daughter being angry with you for a while, or your daughter being gone forever because she realized she can't get her breasts back?

 

[CorporateMemphis]

You need to play the power mom card and explain to your daughter that her friend is going down a terrible road with irreversible consequences, and that the last thing you want is for her to be lured down the same path. No sugar coating, no soft handed approach, just maternal love supported by a hell of a lot of statistics.

No bullshit, this is going to suck and she will get very emotional and you will feel awful afterwards. That being said, ask yourself what is worse: your daughter being angry with you for a while, or your daughter being gone forever because she realized she can't get her breasts back?

I think you are right, but I should point out that I'm a dad, not a mom. Need to get my wife on side first, before I take that route. Hmmm.

 

[RX-78]

I think you are right, but I should point out that I'm a dad, not a mom. Need to get my wife on side first, before I take that route. Hmmm.

The point still stands though, and also applies to your wife. It may even be easier to get through to your wife since you can jump straight into the self-mutilation pictures, and then ask her if she wants her little girl to end up like that infamous franken-cock. I know there's some dipshits who kvetch about co-parenting being the ideal strategy and all, but at the end of the day the man of the house is the one steering the ship. It's going to suck, there's going to be a whole lot of over-emotional bullshit, but a little bit of anguish is a lot easier to endure than a life time of regret.

 

[Fuggalope]

2016 taught me you could be close friends with someone for a decade, and have them cut you out of their lives because you didn't agree with their woke politics. Prior to the election, everyone was more live-and-let-live. Not so much afterwards.

Changing someone's mind is hard, especially if their ideals are built on the faith that they're a good person for having said ideals, and those who disagree are bigots. Sometimes it's best to just move on.

 

[Yeeted Teet]

I think you are right, but I should point out that I'm a dad, not a mom. Need to get my wife on side first, before I take that route. Hmmm.

If I may toot my own horn, I think the Sidhbh Gallagher thread has some of the clearest examples of how young people with mental illnesses are groomed into trans surgeries and the horrifying results. She targets young girls in particular so most of her surgeries are on FtMs or non binaries. Maybe don't just send her a link, but pick what you need from it.

 

[Bankingway]

2016 taught me you could be close friends with someone for a decade, and have them cut you out of their lives because you didn't agree with their woke politics. Prior to the election, everyone was more live-and-let-live. Not so much afterwards.

Ain't that the truth. There were tremors of things getting this bad before that, but 2016 felt like seemingly normal people had mutated into husks lacking critical thought and the ability to live and let live. From that point on, no matter how actually political the thing is or how mundane the setting, every little thing has had to involve some sort of politisperging-- if you plain don't care or think contrary to your coworker or previously amicable relative, you're a problem. I didn't lose anyone or anything important during that year, but I saw enough people deal with some real losses to learn cutting off friends and family over nonsense that didn't effect relationships at all was getting normalized. And here we are now.

To make this more specific to the thread, 2020 felt like a lot of normal people were actually sleeper agents that found an opportunity to be destructively retarded. I've seen far more than I ever wanted to myself after that point.

Spoiler: personal sperg

Both the people I knew that transitioned did it then. A lot of people give TIMs more leeway and sympathy for a variety of reasons relating to abuse and body dysmorphia, but experiencing their behavior was the thing that turned me from apathy/"not my problem, they're rare anyway" to loathing trannies immeasurably.

I tell you, there's nothing like watching your previously humble and logical friend turn into a self-centered, hypersensitive asshole that gets angry over being called terms of endearment as her draftsmanship degrades (not in a tumblr way, more like a cry for help) before disappearing without even a note as to why. Doesn't get better than witnessing an impressionable and troubled woman get coached by champagne progressives, any sound advice or "this is kinda weird" ignored or passive aggressively shot down. That first friend of mine had particularly unsafe "tips" for her, which definitely peaked me out of sheer bewilderment that turned into anger.

The first friendship lasted close to a decade, the second one less than that. Both of them are out of my life and not likely to go back in, but I know for a fact neither of them are happier. Sometimes I catch myself being retarded and missing them, but I doubt they think about me. I'm just a heckin' invalid transphobe and nothing else about me or how I felt about them matters.

At least my family, some of my older coworkers and my partner are jaded about this sort of thing so I don't feel entirely alone outside of this site. Sure does feel lonely being a twenty-something while way too many people in your age bracket toe the retard line, with or without the Internet.

I can't stand lying through my teeth about "trans rights!", so I don't say a word of praise when it comes up in real life or anywhere else. Maybe one day the fabled pendulum swing will happen and consequences will finally hit for the people that encouraged this and/or peddled it in unrelated circles, but I'm not as confident in that as I should be.

 

[Gruel Ghoul]

The trannies are destroying their own movement simply by being their retarded selves. It's all going downhill but unfortunately very slowly.

All of my old friends are completely insane troon apologists . Gotta say, getting new friends who aren't advocates of mutilating healthy body parts, has been very nice. My mood has improved considerably and I'm not feeling so hopeless and shitty anymore.

 

[6thRanger]

I recently had a heart warming conversation IRL with some old friends I'd distanced myself from partially due to politics. All of them, including the self described "communist radical" admitted they'd been peaked and the trans stuff is insanity. This was a man who reed about Trump in the streets in 2016 and even he was able to say unprompted that "this shit is crazy". People are realizing that people of gender are truly not compatible with a sane society. It was truly a white pill.

 

[Pim Fortuyn]

Reading this thread makes me sad for everyone who has lost friends over this shit. I live in a conservative country but I can see the writing on the wall - rural areas are fine as are the older generations. But our media and universities are overly influenced by all the american shit, and recent graduates have all those fucked up lgbt views too, at least in the humanities.
Thankfully I lost all my normie friends years and years ago, and only hang out with skinheads and their immigrant girlfriends these days. No one gives a shit about hating on trannies, that's just normal, but the topic never even comes up, really.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

Maybe 2 years ago a long term out of town friend, my husband and I were out and we ended up talking about transgender issues. He's an middle school teacher. We had an hours long discussion well into the night about, especially how autistic people seem drawn to it.

A year later we had dinner with him and his "son". Just joined university and very overwhelming autistic since I had seen them last (6+ years). They are now "female". Refuses eye contact and has a glass of milk with dinner, while drinking through a mask.

3 months he tells us his "daughter" is getting bottom surgery. The poor guy seems broken.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

Maybe 2 years ago a long term out of town friend, my husband and I were out and we ended up talking about transgender issues. He's an middle school teacher. We had an hours long discussion well into the night about, especially how autistic people seem drawn to it.

A year later we had dinner with him and his "son". Just joined university and very overwhelming autistic since I had seen them last (6+ years). They are now "female". Refuses eye contact and has a glass of milk with dinner, while drinking through a mask.

3 months he tells us his "daughter" is getting bottom surgery. The poor guy seems broken.

It must be a super traumatic experience for them.

This is why I think having kids in this era is a danger. The moment you miss them for a second, they are already groomed.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

It must be a super traumatic experience for them.

This is why I think having kids in this era is a danger. The moment you miss them for a second, they are already groomed.

That's why I feel so bad for them.