Antique store shoppers see man put items in rectum then back on shelves, Texas cops say

A man in Texas was arrested after officials say he was seen inside an antique store placing items in his rectum then putting them back on the shelves.

Constable Mark Herman’s office in Harris County received several calls Feb. 15 about a man inside an antique mall in Spring, according to a Facebook post.

The man was seen taking items from multiple vendors and placing them in his rectum, officials said. Then, he would place those items back on the shelves, according to the constable’s office.

The man was seen on surveillance footage grabbing items off the shelf and putting the items up his kilt, KPRC reported.

The items were disposed of, according to officials.

A warrant was issued for the man and he was arrested on charges of criminal mischief. He was given a $100 bond.

Spring is about 25 miles north of downtown Houston.

 
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>DO NOT INSERT ANTIQUITIES INTO YOUR RECTUM.
 
That's one way to "relic" them. Don't tell guitar makers or the "road worn" option may take on another meaning.
 
Thank goodness he put them back. Imagine being the arresting officer while this guy's yelling "NO I AM NOT SHOPLIFTING OFFICER MY ASS ALWAYS SOUNDS LIKE SIX TEACUPS AND A SILVERWARE SET ARE INSIDE IT ITS A MEDICAL CONDITION".
 
It's funny how some days, you can read a headline and immediately think "Nigger".
But then there are other headlines that immediately make you weep and cry out "This fucker is whiter than I am, isn't he?"
 
Fuck you, coppers, I'm never going to stop shoving antiques up my coin purse then putting them back on the shelf!
 
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