Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[AnOminous]

Still a faggot and a mushbrain but at least he was thinner.

He was an absolutely stupid retard even before multiple strokes, but at least his eyes pointed in the same direction.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

He's been on one all day today apparently.
Livestream head shave mukbang?
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Then with his constant #NGA proceeds to argue about shit because he was a DJ, and trusts the news.
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GE isn't ever going to give him shit. Tammy will buy it for him.

Lol at him making a big deal about "shaving" his head.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

Lol at him making a big deal about "shaving" his head.
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He has done this like twice in the past few months. Last time he asked that like 1 month ago somebody responded with "Nature already took care of that for you" which had like 11 likes on it. I wonder if it made Jack angy and he decided to nuke the whole post and repost it a few weeks later?

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

He has done this like twice in the past few months. Last time he asked that like 1 month ago somebody responded with "Nature already took care of that for you" which had like 11 likes on it. I wonder if it made Jack angy and he decided to nuke the whole post and repost it a few weeks later?

Look how AI interprets Jack’s dead arm…

And goochigoombah gaming.

AI event agrees that Mommywife needs to push Jack outside and brick his phone for a few hours to humble that asshole.

The prompts were random posts

Notable, AI has sympathy for their unfortunate amphibian beagle

 

[Adamska]

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Retard's full on making up numbers now, since a diastolic number like that's actually very close to the low blood pressure threshold, which ain't fucking happening with that high systolic.

Even if this is the genuine thing and not him making up numbers or picking the best results by week, it's still fucking horrible because this is a thing that exists. It's a literal calling card for another heart attack or stroke.

 

[Si vis pacem para bellum]

Retard's full on making up numbers now, since a diastolic number like that's actually very close to the low blood pressure threshold, which ain't fucking happening with that high systolic.

Even if this is the genuine thing and not him making up numbers or picking the best results by week, it's still fucking horrible because this is a thing that exists. It's a literal calling card for another heart attack or stroke.

Yeah I can't imagine casually passing off a lower number like that, when I get in the neighborhood of low 70's I barely want to move and feel unwell. That's keeping in mind how much better shape I'm in than Jack. This still isn't mentioning how wide his pressure is, assuming there's any amount of truth to it. Realistically he's sitting somewhere like 150/102 or some shit like that on his high sodium diet. Dude's definitely retaining a lot of water.

 

[lindsayfan]

Jack can't keep his conspiracy theories straight. if this was literally anybody else I'd actually feel bad for his struggling brain

this is far and away the funniest jack twitter exchange i've seen. i hope he continues to share TRUTH on elon's X.

meanwhile

(explaining religion to an american) imagine a cheeseburger...


god gushin all over jack, and he wants every drop. no god for you, ALL for jack


SO

 

[ddlloo]

this is far and away the funniest jack twitter exchange i've seen. i hope he continues to share TRUTH on elon's X.

meanwhile

(explaining religion to an american) imagine a cheeseburger...
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god gushin all over jack, and he wants every drop. no god for you, ALL for jack
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SO
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My take away from this is that Jack wants to eat god, he won't share god with anyone else, and god will be cooked on an electric smoker.

 

[Pig Cups]

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Look how AI interprets Jack’s dead arm…

And goochigoombah gaming.

AI event agrees that Mommywife needs to push Jack outside and brick his phone for a few hours to humble that asshole.

The prompts were random posts

Notable, AI has sympathy for their unfortunate amphibian beagle

Jack wishes he was as sexy as those AI portraits of him. Gotta also love how Brianna is animated to look like Jack Black, while an angry Paul/Jim Traynor stands in the doorway with Tammy.

Perhaps the AI would do a better job on the dead arm if it were fed with a prompt that describes the arm as “cyanotic.”

 

[TheMovieGuy]

My take away from this is that Jack wants to eat god, he won't share god with anyone else, and god will be cooked on an electric smoker.

If the second coming of Jesus happens before Jack kicks the bucket you know he would be asking for a couple slices of the son of God to burn on his 26 grills.

 

[p1138]

Lol at him making a big deal about "shaving" his head.
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He's not going to shave shit on his own, he won't be able to reach one arm all the way around to do it. So imagine Fatty in front of a camera doing a mukbang eating meat with his working arm while Tammy drags out buzzing off his remaining bit of hair with some clippers, meaning hair is likely falling onto his meat as he's shoveling it into his face without caring.

 

[topshrek]

My take away from this is that Jack wants to eat god, he won't share god with anyone else, and god will be cooked on an electric smoker.

You've heard of 'GUDmeat' before, just wait until you see what happens when Jack gets a hold of 'GAWDmeat' and ascends to demi-god status

-purple meat-arm functioning again
-Googley eyes unfucked
-can walk without the aid of his Scootypuff
-male-pattern baldness reversed
-Jack experiences a late growth spurt from 5'3" to 6'4"
-Chinesium dropshippers now pay him to poorly review their wares
-Jack's kitchen is instantly awarded three Michelin stars and Gordon Ramsay is forced to spend the rest of his career wageslaving away by slinging Lazy Man's Omelettes and Aunt Myrna's Party Cheese Salad to exclusive A-list diners, reservations booked out for years
-Donuts, cookies, pizza, etc. are all now considered carnivore

Just you wait, hay-dur

 

[TheGuntinator]

highlight of the video is jack belching "thank you tammy for your help" and her responding with stony silence. long seconds of just the tongs clanging against the tray (with no silicone underneath) and the whistling wind

Jack asks mommy-wife whether or not to use the silicon baking pad on this, and she instantly cuts him off and says "Nope".

Now I'm convinced she's trying to kill him with indulgence. The only way it could have been funnier is if she said "keep eating" in response.

Ladies and Gents, Jack did it again. He made yet another video talking about his time in grocery stores judging people. While he is sitting there in his motorized scooter with a thread of drool stretching from his mouth to his protuberant belly down bellow, Jack feels down that clueless shoppers are tearing their bodies apart eating SHUGAR and popcorn.

Jack strikes me as the type of person to ask you to help them reach something on the top shelf, then expect you to follow them and do that for the rest of their shopping trip, then ram you with the scootypuff when you tell them you have to do your own shopping. I genuinely think Jack is retarded enough to think this is funny and appropriate, but not physically able enough to run someone down with the scootypuff.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Lol at him making a big deal about "shaving" his head.
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The time to shave your head is when you have nothing, or almost nothing, on the top of your head. Not 20 years later.

One thing however I will say as a positive, he never got hair plugs or did the sweep so there's that.

Jack strikes me as the type of person to ask you to help them reach something on the top shelf, then expect you to follow them and do that for the rest of their shopping trip, then ram you with the scootypuff when you tell them you have to do your own shopping. I genuinely think Jack is retarded enough to think this is funny and appropriate, but not physically able enough to run someone down with the scootypuff.

The man is that much of an asshole. When they went to Disneyland his scootypuff was in the way, Hammy said he should move but the lazy asshole he was he says, "they can go around".

Meanwhile you know he'd be the first to bitch about it if he was trying to get around some other fatass in a scootypuff and they wouldn't move.

 

[Dave.]

Jack is annoying me to the point of glass tapping. #NGA #sorrynotsorry

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You know we have rules about interacting with cows right?

 

[Delilah Radio Show]

GET YOU STAIN SHIRT:

 

[Seymour Duncan]

GET YOU STAIN SHIRT:
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Hold up. Enhance:

QUALITY. Also I hate how the fill failure fucks with the letter silhouettes enough to make me constantly misread it as COOMING WITH JACK when skimming over the thumbnail, which does make that "coffee" stain shirt make a bit more disgusting sense.

ninja edit: Also, the CWJ mug features dual QR codes for enhanced Foodjackery.

 

[Sonic T]

GET YOU STAIN SHIRT:
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The catch is that he stains it himself while filming a fatty on the go, and then ships it to you.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Hold up. Enhance:
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QUALITY. Also I hate how the fill failure fucks with the letter silhouettes enough to make me constantly misread it as COOMING WITH JACK when skimming over the thumbnail, which does make that "coffee" stain shirt make a bit more disgusting sense.

ninja edit: Also, the CWJ mug features dual QR codes for enhanced Foodjackery.
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INCOMING LAWSUIT ALERT!

Jack pulled this bitmoji shit with his signage when his jelly was still stocked in stores and got forced to remove it after that company found out.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

GET YOU STAIN SHIRT:
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These are amazingly shitty even by Jack's standards. He should make ones that say "drool" and "diarrhea" because his XXXL shirts are covered in that on a daily basis.