Christopher Vito Gesualdi / Vito / Vaedophile / CringleJingle / Co-Host of the "The Biggest Problem in the Universe" Reboot - Self-admitted paedophile, least funny comedian, lolicon artist, shotacon consumer, spousal abuser, snuff distributor and pet of Dick "Juju the cow" Masterson. Follows accounts making CGI of teenagers and generates AI images of lolicon hentai covers.

[Kulee Baba]

I'm not quoting Null because I imagine Null gets @s and Quotes every 10 seconds but looking thru this shit script made me wonder how professionals actually write comic scripts. The site Comics Experience has a nice lineup of famous writers you can look thru. I picked out a Geoff Johns script because Geoff Johns is a more or less normie writer I wasn't going to compare him to a famous novelist like Neil Gaiman or autist supremes like Grant Morrison & Alan Moore. Look at how Johns spends telling you the setting of the comic. I learned what Creech Brown is.

Anyway funny enough Geoff's Green Lantern comic also involves a diner like "Superkiller.."

Johns writes his script to the point, he doesn't waste your time. You can easily imagine how this comic will look. I think you're all getting the point if any of you do attempt to write a script for fun you're far better off using Geoff Johns as a basis of WHAT TO DO versus listening to a fat lickspittle for Dick Masterson. BTW Geoff Johns "Superman: Up, Up, and Away" is a really good comic I recommend it.

Most of all and I'm sure Null would agree the type font Vedo uses is ugly and painful to read thru.

 

[TyrasGuard]

Vito writes in a style I can only describe as Gearbox writing / Borderlands humor. You can't have normal conversations, you gotta crack a fucking joke every single line.

 

[GaryGray]

For a third draft this reads like a first draft written as a single stream of consciousness. With access to such an accomplished writer as Dick Masterson one would think Vito would have tapped him as a copy editor. Remember how Dick and Vito were criticizing the story structure of Eric July's comic. This reads like it was written by a goldfish that both stutters and has tourettes.

 

[FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw]

As bad as this is the art might be worse. Wtf is up with the proportions?
View attachment 5749163

https://twitter.com/VitoComedy/status/1760960954442092909

https://archive.is/Q2iNq

There seems to be a general tendency to make the arms really short but the torso elongated. That's... unusual for a heroic male body, to say the least. It's more how you'd draw a female body than a male. Same problem in this classic:

Meanwhile, the woman has long limbs and big hands:

 

[genericwhitemale]

This nu-dialogue that has become a defining characteristic of the 2010s - where the writers aren't stupid enough to just blindly write clichéd dialogue but aren't smart enough to think of an alternative - is a cancer of modern popular media. Serious dialogue is the build-up to a punchline that's either a lol so random non-sequitur or it's just stating what your doing in a sarcastic tone under the guise of being "self-aware", or trying to be "quirky" by making characters say a situation is awkward.
Beyond the culture war incentive, I can see why people want to support the likes of July and parallel economy entertainment in general because they want to be reminded of a time when mainstream entertainment wasn't so atrociously written.

 

[Kulee Baba]

There seems to be a general tendency to make the arms really short but the torso elongated. That's... unusual for a heroic male body, to say the least. It's more how you'd draw a female body than a male. Same problem in this classic:
View attachment 5749230
Meanwhile, the woman has long limbs and big hands:
View attachment 5749250

How fucking racist to draw the "foreign man" like he's about the sexually assault our League of Legends playing Tomboy.

WTF does Vedo have against Slavo-Greeks?

 

[Crocodylus Acutus]

Vito writes in a style I can only describe as Gearbox writing / Borderlands humor. You can't have normal conversations, you gotta crack a fucking joke every single line.

View attachment 5749225

That's just modern millennial writing, another symptom of the LA brain rot that afflicts so many today.

 

[TyrasGuard]

How fucking racist to draw the "foreign man" like he's about the sexually assault our League of Legends playing Tomboy.

That set up doesn't make sense either. He is first clenching his first in anger to what I assume is her reading a magazine instead of working, then he draws this anime moment of the thunder behind the character and the eye sparkle as if to say "I'm going to fuck with this cunt for fun" then it goes back to angry. The crossed arms makes it look like he is cold rather than angry too.

That's just modern millennial writing, another symptom of the LA brain rot that afflicts so many today.

It's crazy how you can see where the anime starts and where the LA brain rot takes over too. It's like his brain is in a constant battle of wanting the comic to be anime and wanting the comic to be more like western capeshit. He is trying to blend both and I can safely say that will not mix well, ever.

 

[AnOminous]

hey vito, do that one really funny joke where you talk about having sex with children. trust me, it's super funny that'll get a laugh out of everyone (Archive)

I do agree with him that he shouldn't be whipped to death. That's way too nice. He should instead be slowly beaten to death with tire irons.

 

[Oliver Onions]

It hints that he hasn't really planned out the story. Even though this 'Space Between the Worlds' thing obviously exists solely to justify fourth wall breaking gags, multiverses are completely ruinous to any kind of story because if they're not treated carefully they destroy all sense of scale or stakes. Nobody can conceptualize infinity, much less care.

I think you're giving it way more thought than butterball did. Guaranteed multiverses was only put in there to punch up the 'joke'. It's not just the dumbest site name in the universe guys, it's the dumbest site name in all the universes!

I feel like this needs to go in the random text generator, or be saved somewhere for posterity:

As bad as this is the art might be worse. Wtf is up with the proportions?
View attachment 5749163

https://twitter.com/VitoComedy/status/1760960954442092909

https://archive.is/Q2iNq

Definitely sick, as in 'I am so sick of seeing this exact pose/composition in every superhero comic ever made'.

I guess he's breaking new ground by having the proportions be all fucked up, though.

 

[AnOminous]

hey vito, do that one really funny joke where you talk about having sex with children. trust me, it's super funny that'll get a laugh out of everyone (Archive)

I do agree with him that he shouldn't be whipped to death. That's way too nice. He should instead be slowly beaten to death with tire irons.

God the way how women are written in this is just dreadful.

I don't think this dude has ever interacted at all with a woman, which is why he prefers children.

 

[Osama Bin Laden]

I do agree with him that he shouldn't be whipped to death. That's way too nice. He should instead be slowly beaten to death with tire irons.

erm, excuse me mr. white supremacist? you don't love making jokes about children getting molested? because child rape is the funniest thing that I as a fat pedophile could ever come up with

who needs a setup and a punchline that actually makes you think? i just REALLY LOVE FUCKING KIDS

but don't say the nigger word or the kike word, shout out to all the jews. JEWS ROCK

 

[FuckMeGentlyWithAChainsaw]

That set up doesn't make sense either. He is first clenching his first in anger to what I assume is her reading a magazine instead of working, then he draws this anime moment of the thunder behind the character and the eye sparkle as if to say "I'm going to fuck with this cunt for fun" then it goes back to angry. The crossed arms makes it look like he is cold rather than angry too.

Here's how it reads in the script:

PANEL 3
As Beck reads, a mysterious, hairy man in a stained apron suddenly appears behind her.

PANEL 4
Same shot as previous, but the mysterious figure is now revealed as diner owner DMITRI. He is bent over, with his face right behind Beck’s. He glares at the back of her head with his crazy eyes, a vein in his forehead bulging.

PANEL 5
Same shot as previous, but Dmitri is now screaming at Beck. The noise causes her to jolt forward in surprise, knocking the comic off the counter.
DMITRI:
Beck!
BECK:
Jesus Christ!

PAGE 4
PANEL 1
Dimtri wags his finger in Beck’s face. He appears crazed, teeth grit in a smile but with his eyebrows twitching and forehead vein bulging. Beck puts up her hands defensively in response to his finger wagging.
DMITRI:
Now Beck, Dmitri Papadopolous knows you are not reading the funny books again, yes?
BECK:
Of course not, sir!

PANEL 2
Dmitri continues his hypothetical lecturing. (Anime sweat bulb on Beck?)
DMITRI:
Because Dmitri Papadopoulos do not pay sad waitress girl great American sum of $2.13 an hour to read the funny books, yes!?
BECK:
Absolutely not, sir!

PANEL 3
Dmitri holds up his hands in pained anguish. Beck sighs and looks annoyed, like she’s dealt with his abusive lectures too many times before. The background is a wide exterior shot of the diner, with Dmitri and Beck appearing like cut out cardboard figures pasted atop it.
DMITRI:
Dmitri Papadopoulos, who so kindly give job to sad, pathetic, no college, no skill waitress girl! Surely she would not betray Dmitri trust by reading the funny books during much important dinner shift!
BECK:
Sigh… no, sir.

PANEL 4
Dmitri again points his finger at Beck. She is defeated and exhausted.
DMITRI:
Sad girl is sure?
BECK:
I’m sure, sir.

PANEL 5
Same shot as previous, but Dmitri now abruptly walks past Beck towards the cash register. Beck’s position and expression remains unchanged.
DMITRI:
Good. Sad girl is now in charge of restaurant.
BECK:
Yes, sir.

PANEL 6
Same shot as previous, but Beck swivels her head in the direction Dmitri has exited, shocked.
BECK:
Wait, what?!

PAGE 5
PANEL 1
Dmitri, now excited, eagerly begins pulling fistfuls of cash from the register. Beck looks concerned.
DMITRI:
Club of gentleman have new oriental girl with soft skin of lamb. Dmitiri must leave, for tonight he make this girl into a woman!

 

[AnOminous]

Here's how it reads in the script:

Holy shit this is bad. It makes Fat Rick Hamlinson's stuff look like Dickens.

 

[TyrasGuard]

She is a bit of a nerd, the kind of girl to throw on a gaming headset and play some League of Legend rather than hit the mall / club. But despite her tomboyish attitude, she is an understated beauty, with dark lashes, full lips and cascading brown hair

so fucking gay

You can so fucking tell the writer (Vito in this case) is an incel because she is drawn to be hot but he also made sure she is a useless cunt with a shit job and no skills because then she would probably be a confident woman that a lot of men would probably be interested in and I doubt Vito has ever talked with any of those.

Make her nerdy (for the things I like) so she has a reason to talk with the main character but make her situation shit because we wouldn't want other men to look at her either because the MC is totally not a self insert and i wouldn't know I would have him compete with normal men. Bonus points if there is ever a "YOU LIKED ME FROM THE START BEFORE I WAS EVER SOMEONE, VITO-KUN".

 

[Dumpster dived waifu]

So... Vito wrote his comic book script/outline/abortion the exact same way he rewrote the tv pitch? Does he think everything needs to be done in the same shitty way?

 

[Tiny Chinaman]

You can so fucking tell the writer (Vito in this case) is an incel because she is drawn to be hot but he also made sure she is a useless cunt with a shit job and no skills because then she would probably be a confident woman that a lot of men would probably be interested in and I doubt Vito has ever talked with any of those.

Make her nerdy for her to have a reason to talk with the main character but make her situation shit because we wouldn't want other men to look at her either, because men never go for only looks when it comes to women.

TOP TIER CRINGE
The whole crew over there is full on LGBTQP

 

[Harm]

Who the hell wants to be a sidekick?

It makes even less sense when you read the whole thing front to back because Beck didn't want to be a sidekick, she wanted to be a superhero. She admired "Not Batman" and would get bit by radioactive animals because she wanted powers herself. She didn't want to be some lackey. Her wanting to be a sidekick isn't introduced until the very end.

He realized that "Super Killer" and "Side Kick" are both "S.K." and jizzed himself so hard he stopped thinking about whether the story as a whole makes sense anymore.

 

[Forgotten Beast]

I don't want to powerlevel too hard, so lets just say that I know what a comic script is supposed to look like.
Holy fuck this is a bad script. Just fucking awful. I could talk for hours about how disgusted I am at this unholy text, but then I'd have spent more time and effort in this comic than Vito himself. I will only make a few points about what bugs me the most to avoid making this post unbearably long.
You can only deconstruct something you know and care a lot about, and I Vito clearly doesn't know shit about comics, let alone capeshit ones. He parodies clichés that aren't that common in comics (or any other medium to be honest) and in the next beat he uses the most basic bitch anime tropes without a hint of irony. Hell, he even uses those wrong half of the time (anime sweat bulb?).
Another thing that bugs me is how over the place he is about descrptions and how he makes life hell for the artist. Sometimes he over-details his descriptions to the point it's impossible to draw what he's putting to words without it looking absurd:

PANEL 3
As Beck reads, a mysterious, hairy man in a stained apron suddenly appears behind her.

PANEL 4
Same shot as previous, but the mysterious figure is now revealed as diner owner DMITRI. He is bent over, with his face right behind Beck’s. He glares at the back of her head with his crazy eyes, a vein in his forehead bulging.

PANEL 5
Same shot as previous, but Dmitri is now screaming at Beck. The noise causes her to jolt forward in surprise, knocking the comic off the counter.
DMITRI:
Beck!
BECK:
Jesus Christ!

Even if it's obvious that at some point the artist said "Fuck you Vito" and tried to salvage the page, it still flows like a golf ball down your urethra. At least they tried, I know people who would strangle any newcomer writer trying to pull this shit.
Sometimes he does the opposite!

He wastes 4 lines of text and two (rare) pic references for a shoddy background Simpsons reference one panel after describing one superhero character in his superhero comic as "Batman-like", and refusing to elaborate. What the fuck does that mean in this context for the artist? Should the artist create a new character here? Isn't that your job as a writer? My man, making new heroes up even if it's for a one-panel visual joke or pun it's half the point of making a funny superhero comic. You can't be so creatively bankrupt you fail to see this. Then again, the main antagonist is superman with a M, so maybe I'm expecting too much.

Just fucking lazy and uninspired. It's so half-assed that if you tell me you put your soul into it, I'm going to declare you honorary ginger. Even Red Mist had better scripts.

 

[Vect]

Johns writes his script to the point, he doesn't waste your time. You can easily imagine how this comic will look. I think you're all getting the point if any of you do attempt to write a script for fun you're far better off using Geoff Johns as a basis of WHAT TO DO versus listening to a fat lickspittle for Dick Masterson.

It's probably due to lack of confidence, given beyond a weird degree of hyperfocus on certain panels, it's more or less giving the artist a fair amount of leeway on what it's supposed to look like because he has vague ideas about what he wants but no strong artistic vision (beyond apparently, seeing his dream gamer girl brought to life).

Also his mentioning of irrelevant details like sound ("howling in cartoonish pain") and his tendency to self-indulge in verbosity when writing makes me suspect he kept lapsing into thinking he was writing a film script.

-

We saw it the first time, Vito.