Foods we hope will be discontinued

[MembersSchoolPizza]

You don’t know how many peoples world I have shattered telling them that some store bought maple syrup is just glorified cornstarch.

... Were they dumb enough to think Mrs. Butterworth was "maple syrup" or something?

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

All the recent Coca-Cola varieties with artsy fartsy names that don't describe a product, character nor personality. Burnt sugar and stale cotton candy doesn't register as actual flavors but an obnoxious attempt at appealing to quirky zoomers.

You either tell us the actual flavor contents or I assume it's a bastardized version of whatever the ingredients list indicates.

 

[ReasonablyRetarded]

Anything fucking sea salt caramel.
I just want normal fucking caramel but no, everything has to be *salted* caramel since those Ben & Jerry fucks spread that shit to my country.

 

[retard strength II]

... Were they dumb enough to think Mrs. Butterworth was "maple syrup" or something?

I didn't until I had to shop for myself. The default American diet is very dreadful. Trying to avoid it means either paying out the ass, spending time making all this different little shit yourself, or knowing a lot of "guys" like "I got a jerkey guy". It is infuriating that the default is just putting eight kinds of corn syrup and soybean/sunflower oils into nearly every god damn thing.

It is easy to just buy whole foods like meat, veggies, cheese, fruit, sure, but when you start wanting little convenient add-ons or things that last a bit longer is what sucks. I shouldn't wind up at the "health food store" for a bottle of salad dressing or crackers to keep at work but I do. Other countries can manage to do it just fine, for now, but we are so backloaded with fucking bureacracy meddling with shit it has zero reason to and it kills us.

 

[MembersSchoolPizza]

I didn't until I had to shop for myself. The default American diet is very dreadful. Trying to avoid it means either paying out the ass, spending time making all this different little shit yourself, or knowing a lot of "guys" like "I got a jerkey guy". It is infuriating that the default is just putting eight ki

I dunno, every grocery store I've gone to for... my entire adult life, anyway, since I started paying attention to such things, so 20+ years, has stocked real maple syrup next to the fake stuff. And the fake stuff doesn't actually claim to be real, it's always called something like "pancake syrup".

You do pay more, though. That's true. But, I mean... That's kind of the point. Corn syrup is cheap. "Flavoring" is cheap. Actually tapping maple trees and reducing it down into syrup isn't.

 

[retard strength II]

I dunno, every grocery store I've gone to for... my entire adult life, anyway, since I started paying attention to such things, so 20+ years, has stocked real maple syrup next to the fake stuff. And the fake stuff doesn't actually claim to be real, it's always called something like "pancake syrup".

My point is that slop is the default, that I was raised on it until I had to move out and buy things, that is probably the case for most kids in this country or in my family's income bracket at least, and that it shouldn't be that way. The real thing is a treat worth paying for but there is a deep and frustrating problem with my country's food and then how people here are introduced, learn about, and respond to it.

 

[eatler]

I dunno, every grocery store I've gone to for... my entire adult life, anyway, since I started paying attention to such things, so 20+ years, has stocked real maple syrup next to the fake stuff. And the fake stuff doesn't actually claim to be real, it's always called something like "pancake syrup".

You do pay more, though. That's true. But, I mean... That's kind of the point. Corn syrup is cheap. "Flavoring" is cheap. Actually tapping maple trees and reducing it down into syrup isn't.

Unfortunately a lot of people are taught by default that brand names are good. I grew up in a small town where people will argue with you for disparaging the names of their favorite brands.

 

[Horus]

I

You don’t know how many peoples world I have shattered telling them that some store bought maple syrup is just glorified cornstarch.

I believe it. My brother has a small apple orchard on his property, and the difference between dishes featuring the apples from there and anything "Apple flavored" is night and day. God knows what else we eat that is just starch, sugar, and petroleum jelly.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

La Croix and all similar products. Just drink water, juice, or soda, you faggots. Stop trying to combine all three. It just sucks.

Seltzer water I wouldn't mind seeing going away due to how it decimated soft drink selection in so many markets.

Also cauliflower crust, though that trend is thankfully dying down.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Seltzer water I wouldn't mind seeing going away due to how it decimated soft drink selection in so many markets.

La Croix can go to hell but New York Seltzer is actually pretty damn good.

Tax: i fucking hate Dr. Pepper and wouldn’t shed a tear if it was completely discontinued.

 

[Señora Airi]

since those Ben & Jerry fucks spread that shit to my country.

Can we just get rid of Ben & Jerry's stuff in general? Disregarding their politics, the ice cream is too expensive for what it is. It's about 50 cents higher than the similar Hagan Daaz and Blue Bell (Which I prefer), and only a dollar cheaper than the gelato they have at grocery stores. And even then, they'll run deals on the gelato.

 

[Super Guido]

Seltzer water I wouldn't mind seeing going away due to how it decimated soft drink selection in so many markets.

Also cauliflower crust, though that trend is thankfully dying down.

Oh, fuck cauliflower pizza crust. It smells like farts, and tastes like sadness.

La Croix can go to hell but New York Seltzer is actually pretty damn good.

Tax: i fucking hate Dr. Pepper and wouldn’t shed a tear if it was completely discontinued.

Original New York Seltzer has sugar added to it, so it's not really a seltzer, in my opinion.

 

[eatler]

i fucking hate Dr. Pepper

So that’s a no on the hot Dr Pepper for you?

 

[Mellisuga Helenae]

I wish for Total Taki Discontinuation. They taste like shit and they remind me of my own horrible decisions every time I go to the dollar store. Fuck Takis.

 

[Midwit]

I want more tarragon

Based and Tarhun pilled.

Can we just get rid of Ben & Jerry's stuff in general?

It's just far too expensive for what it is, I don't want to play five fucking pounds for a small tub of okay ice cream just because it has a quirky name and some meme ingredients mixed in.

They taste like shit and they remind me of my own horrible decisions

I bought them at the local bargain booze for import prices just to try it out since some youtubers I like reccomended them and they are absolutely foul, it's just the citric acid laden spicy flavouring they put on off-brand Doritos in Bongerland but caked on probably twice as thick, I'm pretty sure I only had six of them before binning the packet. I swear that they're tailor made for people with blown out taste buds (read: browns) since I can't imagine anyone with a regular palette being able to handle more than two of them.

 

[Mellisuga Helenae]

I bought them at the local bargain booze for import prices just to try it out since some youtubers I like reccomended them and they are absolutely foul, it's just the citric acid laden spicy flavouring they put on off-brand Doritos in Bongerland but caked on probably twice as thick, I'm pretty sure I only had six of them before binning the packet. I swear that they're tailor made for people with blown out taste buds (read: browns) since I can't imagine anyone with a regular palette being able to handle more than two of them.

Preach, brother. If you think Takis are bad, then check out those horrible chili candies that are pretty much just lollipops dipped in chili powder if you want a laugh. Hands down the shittiest Mexican candies. I love spicy food, but that shit is just plain awful. It not even hot, just aggressively disgusting.

You should try Mazapan if you want a Mexican treat that's actually good. Abuelita hot chocolate is also pretty dope. Would also recommend Valentina hot sauce.

 

[Super Guido]

Preach, brother. If you think Takis are bad, then check out those horrible chili candies that are pretty much just lollipops dipped in chili powder if you want a laugh. Hands down the shittiest Mexican candies. I love spicy food, but that shit is just plain awful. It not even hot, just aggressively disgusting.

You should try Mazapan if you want a Mexican treat that's actually good. Abuelita hot chocolate is also pretty dope. Would also recommend Valentina hot sauce.

Shit, that reminds me: tajin is fucking garbage and tastes like citric acid colored red.

Is mazapan the peanut candy?

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

Hot Pockets™

 

[PandaChai]

Soylent, Huel, and all those other "meal replacements" that are just ultra-processed soy bean powder and rat droppings

 

[The Cheese Aisle]

Ultraprocessed food additives. I’ll list a few specific ones that I know are gross, but also maybe if all of them were gone it would incentivize manufacturers to use whole foods again and drive down costs.

- Flavor, including natural flavor is an unspecified term that can contain thousands of individual ingredients and compounds, the specifics of which manufacturers are not required to disclose on an ingredients label. Same thing with “spices”

- Dextrose and maltodextrin have a glycemic index higher than sugar which impacts insulin response as well as how rewarding your brain percieves a food to be

- Some food dyes have been associated with ADHD in children and cancer

- Partially and fully hydrogenated oils contain trans fats

Edit: oops accidentally hit publish, anyways

- Nitrates and nitrites have been linked to ass cancer and are probably why South Korea has the highest rate of stomach cancer worldwide

- BHA/BHT are “reasonably anticipated to be human carcinogens” according to the EU (which, like, fuck the EU, but I do appreciate how the CIR handles potential toxins preemptively)

-PFAS are generally recognized as safe, however they are bioaccumulative and stay in the body and environment for years, potentially causing unforeseen cumulative negative effects on health

Anyways that’s my sperg, Goyslop is one of my bugbears I guess