I live in a very mixed household. It's a 3 bed apartment with 5 of us. In room 1 we have a cis girl by herself. In room 2 is me, AFAB, detrans, and my boyfriend, who is FTM. Yes, shocking, I know. I'll make a post about what that relationship is like another time if anyone cares.
And then in room 3 we have my best friend, we'll call him Harry, FTM, and his partner, D, who is AMAB.
Now, Harry and D have been dating since high school, they're 24 now. Harry has been out as a trans guy since before that, and went on T for a while, but had to stop because his doctors found a heart condition the T was making worse. He has not taken it in years.
D has been a stereotypical gay guy ever since I've known them (5 years.) I do not personally like D very much so just letting you know this is probably a little biased. They really like Drag Race, theatre/performing arts, video games, and making Harry feel like shit.
About 2 months ago D came out to all of us at our monthly roommate meeting. They said they've been in therapy and got a prescription for T blockers and estrogen, and had already been taking them for a month. This was an absolute bombshell piece of info on everyone, even Harry didn't know.
They asked us to use they/them pronouns until they feel like they "pass" more, at which point they will ask us to use she/her pronouns. Sure. Great, whatever.
I live with this person and have put up with A LOT of their shit. So I am willing to go along with this shit to keep the peace, but I am really at my wits fucking end.
D has been very stereotypically a gay man since I met them, like I said. Absolutely no issues wearing pants, growing out some stubble, man spreading, leaving nasty cum tissues all on the floor in their room (not even joking.) making Harry open their relationship so they could get some "real dick". Just a real asshole who never had shown an ounce of dysphoria or desire to be a woman.
Unfortunately, D is now in that "baby trans" era where they're being downright misogynistic. And irritating.
All they want to wear is short skirts and crop tops in the middle of February. I bought them a pair of fleece leggings for their birthday because I can see their junk every time they sit or bend over. They ask for fashion advice from us- ALL 4 AFAB- and when we give them tips, they completely turn their nose up and say "hm, no, I'll do it this way." THEN WHY ASK.
Last week they lifted their shirt and said "Look at my titties growing in!" And it was just a flat chest with a puffy looking nipple. I said "D, I'm happy you're excited, but part of womanhood is you can't just flash people your chest anymore." They got salty about it.
They asked me about where to go to get their chest sized for a bra. This made me very uncomfortable. Like they JUST started transition, there is no titty to be PUT in a bra. Like you're really gonna walk into a store and make some woman size your flat chest in the ladies dressing room just to feel better about yourself? What the fuck. But I just said "just wait till they grow in more." I didn't know what else to say.
Meanwhile last year they had no issues wearing swim trunks and going shirtless into the pool.
They completely flipped out this morning because Harry, who is the only one who does both their laundry, left it in our other roommates car (they had gone to the Laundromat together the day before.) D starts screaming at Harry "You always set me up for failure every fucking morning, now I don't have a skirt to wear to work! Do you even understand how dysphoric that makes me?"
Like motherfucker. You wore pants for 24 years why the fuck does that make you dysphoric now!!! And it's misogynistic as fuck to say you NEED a skirt to be feminine, AND to be mad at Harry for doing your laundry THAT YOU HAVEN'T DONE IN THE WHOLE YEAR WE'VE LIVED TOGWTHER.
Harry came to me after D left for work just crying, telling me even though he lets D open the relationship to go have sex with cis men, he thinks D is lying and cheating secretly, he doesn't feel attractive, or loved, or appreciated. He told me when he first transitioned, and would lose his binder in the morning or something and beg D to help him look, D would just shrug and say "it's not that deep." But now they're trans and being a complete asshole.
D is a terrible roommate, a terrible partner, and I'm trying really hard to keep my mouth shut but I genuinely do not think they are really trans. And I want to slap their face and shake them by the shoulders and say WHAT ARE YOU DOING. I almost hope they come to their senses and regret it.
I know that's toxic as hell. But I just needed to vent about this stupid stupid bullshit somewhere, and there is nowhere else.