Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

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Pizza Time said:
Do you not know what "nut up or shut up" means either? Did you just assume because it has the word "nut" in it, it has to do with sex?
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Durrr I said a euphemism for cumming and you thought it was cumming?

Like you guys are just disingenuous at this point. This thread is just a bait thread to farm for lolz.

Seriously. Go fuck yourselves you fucking sociopaths. You'll die alone. No one will ever give a shit about you.

But I'm sure you'll get all the lolz you want before the maggots eat your body.
 
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r9k-speaks said:
Wow f only the psychologists said that. It would've saved me thousands of dollars.
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Okay, so. If you've been through thousands of dollars in psychologists, and you're still in this spot, it seems fair to say that you haven't got anything out of the therapy that has actually landed.

This is not a failure on your part. Nor even is it necessarily a failure on the part of the psych: a good fit for clinical psychology is not easy to get. I'm assuming you've been seeing clinical psychologists, as opposed to psychotherapists. If you haven't. consider seeing a clinical psych. There is a vast amount of difference between getting a clinical intervention and someone taking your money to listen to why you feel bad. I know, I've done both. One was actually effective.

You mentioned trauma. I assume and hope you have been seeing a trauma specialist psych. I would also gently warn that if you haven't felt able or ready to disclose specific deep trauma (again, that is not a failure on your part, not at all), you may be working with someone who doesn't recognise that that could be an issue or is ready to deal with it when it arrives.

I know how totally fucking frustrating "just try again with someone else!" sounds. I really do. But I do believe, honestly, there's someone you can find who could work with you in a productive way to release some of the shit that's holding you down.

I want to warn you that if your internal narrative is that you are a disgusting, broken person who doesn't deserve kindness or respect, you are going to find yourself in some truly awful relationships, sexual and otherwise.
 
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Fareal said:
I want to warn you that if your internal narrative is that you are a disgusting, broken person who doesn't deserve kindness or respect, you are going to find yourself in some truly awful relationships, sexual and otherwise.
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Why would I seek out relationships in that state? I would only drag the other person down. Realistically I should be dead right now. But for my family I'm alive.

Have you felt like you're already dead but just watching things?
 
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r9k-speaks said:
Why would I seek out relationships in that state? I would only drag the other person down. Realistically I should be dead right now. But for my family I'm alive.

Have you felt like you're already dead but just watching things?
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Hit the weights and get a clue etc.
 
r9k-speaks said:
Why would I seek out relationships in that state? I would only drag the other person down. Realistically I should be dead right now. But for my family I'm alive.

Have you felt like you're already dead but just watching things?
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Yes. That has been a feature, yes. Dissociation is a real problem for me. But you aren't dead, and unless you are intending to make serious attempts to change that soon, you are going to keep on being alive. The bastard sun will continue to come up every morning regardless of how you feel about it.

The unkindest but truest thing a decent clin psych will tell you is that the only person with any power to meaningfully relieve your pain is you. It might mean practical changes. It might mean confronting your trauma. It will be dirty, nasty work. Trauma is a wound that festers, and if you've ever had an infected wound surgically debrided, it hurts like fuck. This work is painful. But afterwards, you heal. Scarred? Yeah. But healed. More functional.

It's trite to say, don't give up. But don't give up quite yet. Even if you can relieve a little of your distress, it would be worth it.
 
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Fareal said:
The unkindest but truest thing a decent clin psych will tell you is that the only person with any power to meaningfully relieve your pain is you. It might mean practical changes. It might mean confronting your trauma. It will be dirty, nasty work. Trauma is a wound that festers, and if you've ever had an infected wound surgically debrided, it hurts like fuck. This work is painful. But afterwards, you heal. Scarred? Yeah. But healed. More functional.

It's trite to say, don't give up. But don't give up quite yet. Even if you can relieve a little of your distress, it would be worth it.
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I only exist in limbo right now. If the real world pressures get too difficult I already have a plan.

I know about the pep talks, but theres only a sliver of me still functioning.

Like I know people want to help. But some people just can't be helped. You have to make peace with that.
 
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r9k-speaks said:
I have trauma and mental illness. I cannot be the mysterious stranger they want me to be. I feel like I'm leading them on just by being there now.
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I'll bite, because this is really intriguing me for some reason. What's the thought process of "I'm leading people on by just existing"? Because tbh this screams big incel "stacies only want chads if they won't have sex with me they should not be in my line of vision" energy. Is this how creepy dudes see women? That they're being led on simply by another human being being nearby? I don't get it.
 
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w4vy_gr4vy said:
What's the thought process of "I'm leading people on by just existing"? Because tbh this screams big incel "stacies only want chads if they won't have sex with me they should not be in my line of vision" energy. Is this how creepy dudes see women? That they're being led on simply by another human being being nearby? I don't get it.
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I'll try to break this down for you somehow. I was raised by a single mother. She was my primary authority figure. When I got to kindergarden. Women were my authority figure. When I got to elementary Women were my authority figure. etc etc.... So now, pleasing Women, my authority figure is my primary concern within reason. Thank god I'm not an online simp. But this is programming is already there now. So whenever I think of Male Female interaction I think only of how it will affect her. I just take the hit.
 
"I've been through thousands of dollars with psychs"
"It hasn't worked"
"But surely a random internet forum will be able to solve my problems if I ask one half-hearted question where I hardly give any info and I ignore everything people say to me and instead complain about the fact that things aren't working"
"It's your fault kiwifarmers that you can't construct a forum post about my ill-explained problems that will solve them. I know I paid licensed professionals have tried and failed, but I expected better from a forum built around making fun of an autist"
 
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r9k-speaks said:
I have trauma and mental illness. I cannot be the mysterious stranger they want me to be. I feel like I'm leading them on just by being there now.
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Lol, uncenter yourself.

r9k-speaks said:
Well I just feel that way, just by being friendly and making small conversation when I run into them. When I ask about them or their interests they get so happy. Then I feel a bit guilty afterward. Did I just lead them on? Did I show too much interest? As a guy you aren't really sure what signals you are sending out to girls.
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No, most people just actually enjoy talking to people and being pleasant.

And I can promise you that talking to a man or flirting doesn't mean they want to fuck him, or expect anything from him. So, while you're talking about "having to make peace with" things, maybe that is a place to start. Boundaries aren't just about keeping other people from trampling on you; they're also about recognizing where you begin and end, and the limitations of your relative position in other people's lives.
 
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Tonight's movie night, wish me luck fellas! She's made cookies, gonna come over and show her a movie I love.
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