[piano music plays in the background]
*tongue click* I don't think I can do TikTok anymore! I don't think I can continue to come here and make videos! And talk about what is on my mind anymore! I feel that the world is poisoning my channel!
Um, when I joined TikTok, it was *long pause* to make *long pause* fun videos, talk about things I was interested in! Find community and connection! *long pause* I was a theater kid! I mean, that's what you do, right? It's what TikTok was created for! It was to share for community and connection! And to share ideas and to teach each other things!
And somehow, it's gotten away from us! And my entire feed now is politics! War mongering, war rumors! The world falling apart at the seams! And then I walk out my front door and it's not like that! I may be one of the last few places on this planet that seems normal for now! And *long pause* as painful as it is to say this, I can't watch the world fall apart! Because I can't do anything about it from here, apart from talk! And I don't think my voice is adding to the conversation! I think it's adding to the negativity and the fear!
So um, I'm gonna pull back from now! I'm not gonna make any more videos for a while! And I don't know if I ever will make another video!
I am also not pursuing the music career! Um, I got a little excited! That little taste of what my life could have been like if I had pursued music when I was younger! But my voice is not what it was! It's not! A few years ago I had a really bad flu and it took my soprano! My first soprano voice and made me a meso soprano! And my asthma and the years I did smoke cigarettes uh, harmed my lungs and my air flow! And you can literally hear the air seeping out my vocal cords when I sing! And I can't hold the notes like I used to! So this is just me being completely honest!

Yes, I can write lyrics! The song lyrics just pour out of me! Like they just, like I'm a fountain for lyrics! If anybody needs a songwriter, I'll be more than happy! Just reach out, you know! More than happy to help!
Um, I have helped write a song for my brother's band! It's called "Devil in Red!" And they will be putting that music out soon! Um, I'm excited for my little brother and for his band! *tongue click* I hope he never loses the passion for music! I didn't lose the passion for music! I just am being a realist that my peace is when I paint and when I garden! So that's where my peace is!
Um... *very long pause* I am still waiting for the settlement for Zinus! I have no clue when that's coming! I don't know when it's being finalized! I'm honestly exhausted from waiting for it!
So I'm gonna go on pause for a while! I kind of really don't have much choice! If I want to preserve what I've got of mental health, I need to take a pause!
So um! So long for now! Farewell, auf wiedersehen, adieu!
*spends last six seconds or so looking like she's about to cry before looking at the camera*
See you on the flip side!