Opinion No One Is Capable of Having a Normal Conversation About Sydney Sweeney

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No One Is Capable of Having a Normal Conversation About Sydney Sweeney​

I spent over an hour scrolling through posts about Sydney Sweeney’s SNL appearance on social media, and based on my findings, brain worms are a serious epidemic.

Sydney Sweeney has two Emmy nominations under her belt and starring roles in a couple of recent commercial Hollywood releases, making her an extremely normal pick to host SNL over the weekend. Online, the conversations about Sweeney are anything but. Unsurprisingly, the majority of posts about her appearance on SNL have more to do with her physical appearance than with her performance. It’s something that Sweeney herself would acknowledge, as she did in her SNLmonologue, and gamely laugh off to let you know she’s in on the joke—the joke being that she is both conventionally attractive (i.e., hot) and a professional actor. And because having large breasts requires acknowledging them so that everyone (mostly heterosexual men) can shut up and move on. Except that a lot of people are not shutting up about it.

While Sweeney was experimenting with sketch comedy—playing a Gen Z social media savant, a server at Hooters, and a version of herself who lusts after Bowen Yang—she was being adopted by far-right conservatives and straight-up fascists as their new mascot. On the hellsite formerly known as Twitter, conservatives are hailing Sweeney’s SNL hosting gig as a “return to normalcy” and a sign that society is ready to once again embrace traditional values. Some are less subtle than others in equating Sweeney’s whiteness with traditional beauty, but the posts are all uniformly repulsive.

When one verified user—a self-proclaimed “journalist” whose recent content consists of Michael Jackson apologia and an appearance on Alex Jones’ show—posted that Sweeney’s SNL episode “has some of the most views in recent history” (sure, but: citation needed?), the conservatives weaponized this non-news as proof that what real American people want is hot white ladies with big honkers, not “fat women, transgenders, and circus freaks.” And I am really sorry for retyping those words, but I promise you that after wasting more than an hour of my precious time on this planet searching “Sydney Sweeney” on X, it’s one of the least offensive versions of that particular sentiment.

Sweeney’s SNL gig is also, according to multiple men who openly identify as white supremacists, proof that “wokeness is dead.” Whatever that means. Mostly it makes me think of a hypothetical progressive hetero teen boy writhing in agony as he attempts to reconcile his attraction to Sydney Sweeney with his belief in dismantling the prison industrial complex. And to that boy I say: you can like boobs and hate cops. These are not mutually exclusive. It also makes me think that Sweeney will soon be forced to issue a public statement denouncing white supremacy, not unlike Taylor Swift, who was also unwittingly adopted by neo-Nazis obsessed with her “traditional” features.

Meanwhile, in the left corner, the discourse is only slightly less brain-numbing and largely boils down to: SNL—and by extension, society as a whole—needs to stop objectifying hot actors, who are so much more than their looks. I agree that being hot isn’t the only reason that most actors are famous, but unfortunately, we live in a society that prizes conventional beauty and actors are, like, 90% famous for being hot. There are plenty of people who are good at acting and will probably never be publicly recognized for it because audiences generally prefer when Hot People™️ do it. The Sydney Sweeney Problem, as far as reasonable people are concerned, is—like most things—a systemic issue that needs to be addressed at the highest levels of Hollywood. If SNL wasn’t the type of show to regularly platform racists, bigots, and ultra-conservative presidential candidates (sometimes all three!), I might expect them to Do Better.

Whether or not Sydney Sweeney was “good” on SNL (she was okay) isn’t even a consideration in this discourse. Like her most recent films—the superhero misfire Madame Web and the off-base rom-com Anyone But You—Sweeney’s episode of SNLis popular for all the wrong reasons.
 
I think 95% of men in 2024 see Pamela Anderson for the repulsive caricature that she is.
Yeah because in 2024 she's 50+ years old. That's why Zazie said in her prime, back when she was hot as shit. Or are you telling me this is repulsive?
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Yeah because in 2024 she's 50+ years old. That's why Zazie said in her prime, back when she was hot as shit. Or are you telling me this is repulsive? View attachment 5785936
I suppose I read "at her prime" and confused it with "at the peak of her fame/popularity." She's ok in these pictures but the bolt-on tits and plastic facial features of her Baywatch days are very out of fashion now.
 
She’s known for her cleavage and showcasing her boobs on Euphoria. That’s really it.

She’s in Madame Web, but technically in terms of Web’s actual origin story, she should be a high schooler, no?
 
I suppose I read "at her prime" and confused it with "at the peak of her fame/popularity." She's ok in these pictures but the bolt-on tits and plastic facial features of her Baywatch days are very out of fashion now.
Ah yeah that was her trying to maintain her original hotness and failing. But tbh I would take that terrible plastic surgery over the terrible plastic surgery of today where every instathot tries to look like a bogdanoff twin.
 
there are like 3 articles featuring this bitch in A&N right now. i’ve never heard of her before today.. is this another astroturfing situation like taylor swift?
Yes, her PR firm paid to push articles about her on the kiwi farms, the most important forum within this part of the universe
 
oh man 😟 imagine what it must feel like to get paid tons of money to stand around while other people talk about how attractive you are 😟 that's so horrible I hope she's okay 😟 I'm glad I don't have to worry about that and just have to go to work every day until I'm 80 instead 😟 so grateful I'm not oppressed like she is 😟
 
Like other kiwis, I have no idea who this is, but I'm sus about the amount of articles here.
 
I took one for the team and was the person who saw Madam Web. I will answer your questions:
Is that one that already came out or is she in a new one? Trying to play guess the role, suppose she could be Felicia Hardy.
She does not play Felicia Hardy and in fact Peter Parker himself is not in the movie except as a baby at the end (this is barely a whisper of a spoiler so I'm not going to hide it). The movie is a prequel nominally set in the 90s.

She apparently plays Spider Woman
One of three. And only as a vision of a future spider woman. You see her in costume for about 15 seconds of the movie in total and mostly out of shot and out of focus. So you don't even get to see her pneumatic figure in this movie.

The rest of the time she is in a preppy sort of schoolgirl outfit with blazer.

She’s known for her cleavage and showcasing her boobs on Euphoria. That’s really it.

She’s in Madame Web, but technically in terms of Web’s actual origin story, she should be a high schooler, no?
She is. Which is very weird to watch as you see three girls who are all supposed to be schoolkids and not one of them looks under twenty and most of them mid-twenties. I was watching it and it was so weird.

About the best thing I can say of the movie is that Dakota Johnson the lead is well aware that she has starred in a complete turkey and has been cheerfully acknowledging of that online.

Sydney Sweeney seems likeable enough and it's hard to deny that she can fill out a top. But not even that can get me to watch SNL.
 
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