Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[p1138]

Wasn't this retard just complaining about people doing this shit on Twitter for engagement?

Just a few weeks ago, but since this is about food and he's doing it, it's fine.

The best version (84)

Honestly I think the tv miniseries from 2000 was better. Mostly because it allowed better pacing due to not having the time constraint.

A lot of fangirls lost their shit on seeing Sting in that outfit. Why would a teenage homosexual like Fatty be any different?

Because he'd be screeching about the gay agenda and he imagines Sting in his head at home, like he normally does whenever "the gays" exist in a movie as an unnecessary deflection.

So much for the claim that he doesn't crave carbs anymore ever since he started his carnivore diet. You justknow this fat, zero discipline manchild is sneaking slices of pizza and cookies when the cameras aren't rolling. The food insecurity that was bred into his greedy little brain by his welfare mommy is too much for him to resist when he sees or smells food

Is it really even sneaking? He can't hide it from Tammy since she needs to drive him everywhere and do everything for him. The only people he's hiding anything from are the few dozen like-minded mushbrain fans still in his audience believing the carnivore bullshit.

 

[Tiresome]

Is it really even sneaking? He can't hide it from Tammy since she needs to drive him everywhere and do everything for him.

Tammy is absolutely not going to do anything to keep him on any kind of diet even if he lies about it online. She is a world-class enabler and probably can't cram sugar and lard down his gullet fast enough. By this time, she knows depriving Jack of his secret gud fud is a one way ticket to eye-rolling, intense passive-aggression and non-stop "Okay, MOMMMM"s.

 

[densedance]

Imagine sitting in the Cinema and having this fat fuck as your neighbour. Eating 2 portions of Nachos with Cheese & burping occassionally because he has to drink Soda.

 

[abobe]

Replace the word "hats" with "bottles of sauce".

 

[PlasticOwls]

I know he’s dumb and shit, but I wonder how much damage the strokes did to his brain. For the past year or so, it seems like his opinions on shit are even worst than in the past.

It's likely some realization he's being scrutinized for his off-color boomer beliefs and controversial actions, or old age and poor health deincentivizing confrontation. Maybe it's the revelation his time alive is running short, and he has better things to worry about ()

Oh go fuck yourself Mr. "I mix ricotta cheese and spicy spaghetti sauce until it turns nuclear orange so I can eat the chunky pus shit it becomes". Mr. "I put cold slabs of cheese on hotdogs". Mr. "I like my ribs to snap because they're fucking raw". Mr. "I mix in shreddy cheese and sour cream into my chili until its nuclear orange." Mr "I douse my pizza in shit until it rots apart into slop".

Jack lost the right to complain about what's on anything or taste combination.

Like @Falcon Sebben said, every New York-style pizzaria has cheap shelf parmesan, red pepper flakes, garlic powder and dried oregano in shakers. Even the ones out in Orange County, California. It's a valid question.

Kind of weird he'd ask these questions when he's on a supposed no carb diet though. Guess cravings are just impossible to shake off at a certain age...

Edit: Im a fan of pepper flakes and oregano on a New York dollar slice myself, but I do prefer Tabasco or Buffalo if the shop carries a bottle.

Also shaved parm all the way. Even if it's the one from the supermarket. The powder stuff straight out a shaker never tastes like much of anything.

 

[Super Hans v2]

Replace the word "hats" with "bottles of sauce".

View attachment 5786580

You would think that with all the Blues Clues Jack watches, he'd know his numbers better. The distance from his kitchen to his lazy boy is as much as a football field, and now one thousand hats is a reasonable number of flat brimmed caps with the stickers still on for wiggers like him and Jr to have.

 

[WinRAR Free Trial]

View attachment 5784867

"Life's good, I feel good."

I, uhh... have my doubts about that.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

That’s a hot take apparently even David Lynch (director for anyone who doesn’t know) was disappointed with how that movie turned out. I always like the aesthetics of the movie it’s very visually interesting.

He wasn't so disappointed as he was angry he didn't get final cut. He wanted a longer movie and felt the one that was delivered wasn't his vision and so he took his name off it.

But like it or hate it the movie looks stylish as hell. The miniseries was closer to the book but it lacked a certain... feeling to it. The David Lynch movie I can watch knowing it's not necessarily book accurate.

All the cheerleading for Lynch in the world won't change the fact that we never got to see the schizo that made Holy Mountain pull off the most mentally fucked sci-fi film that could've ever been made.

I would have loved to see Jodorowsky's Dune. I saw the bio they did on it and the movie looked amazing. Even weirder than what we got from Lynch. Hell just the movie bible he put together would be worth a sit down for.

I will say when doing at home, always get the top loader buns

Yes especially if you're doing kraut or something briny as it just soaks the bun and makes it fall apart.

Because he'd be screeching about the gay agenda and he imagines Sting in his head at home, like he normally does whenever "the gays" exist in a movie as an unnecessary deflection.

But he was more open about his gayness back then. Hammy just took his love for cock and turned it into a love for food and Jesus in that order.

 

[biggacracka]

View attachment 5784866
I guess the mushbrain thinks it's January

View attachment 5784867

"Been doing the carbono die"
this is what I understood even on my second listen. Also he looks like he's about to cry. Maybe Tamham said no more cookies after baking 2 batches?

 

[Tiresome]

View attachment 5784866
I guess the mushbrain thinks it's January

View attachment 5784867

My god, he's mentally failing. Stroke no. 6 imminent.

 

[curbside2]

Sinbad had a stroke and has been exiled to the land of party cheese salad.

 

[Adamska]

It's likely some realization he's being scrutinized for his off-color boomer beliefs and controversial actions, or old age and poor health deincentivizing confrontation. Maybe it's the revelation his time alive is running short, and he has better things to worry about ()

I genuinely think it's just he's so stroked out and retarded he actually can't understand anything more complicated than a baby show. Like he was dumb before all the strokes, so he preferred kid's shows already. But the strokes damaged both what little he had up there to think with as well as some of his ability to perceive things.

I genuinely think he can't even remember or pay attention to movies at all.

Kind of weird he'd ask these questions when he's on a supposed no carb diet though. Guess cravings are just impossible to shake off at a certain age...

Nah, it's pure food deprivation making him tard tantrum over not being allowed to publically eat all of the breaded foods he wants. It's similar to half the reason he bakes so much for Cooking with Fat; the diabetes and medical advice puts a "limit" on what he's supposed to eat and he can't stand that.

Edit: Im a fan of pepper flakes and oregano on a New York dollar slice myself, but I do prefer Tabasco or Buffalo if the shop carries a bottle.

Also shaved parm all the way. Even if it's the one from the supermarket. The powder stuff straight out a shaker never tastes like much of anything.

Parm's a good cheese to add to a variety of things. I often use it as one of my cheeses if I'm making a grilled cheese to add salt subtly.

 

[Randall Fragg]

I say this in the nicest way possible, but there is not a single redeeming quality to Jack I can think of, and I can think of one for just about every cow here.

Jack has yet to show a single, genuine, act of kindness that hasn't been motivated by self-interest, narcissism, or a saccarrine sense of sanctimony. He even puts his own interests over those of his children and Tammy.

The only contribution he'll give anyone is a fat life insurance check for his bloated corpse. He is a soulless, selfish, uncurious, entitled, boring waste of air, and he doesn't have much time left on Earth to turn that around.

Whoever has to write Jack's eulogy is going to have a hell of a time saying anything of genuine substance.

His ineptitude at being a human being is so mind-boggling, it becomes funny. Jack's only redeeming feature is that his stroke gurglings and terrible cooking make me laugh. And that's the only reason why I'll be sad when he bites it.

 

[AnOminous]

Because he'd be screeching about the gay agenda and he imagines Sting in his head at home, like he normally does whenever "the gays" exist in a movie as an unnecessary deflection.

I know it's an often bogus characterization that anyone who expresses "homophobic" sentiments is secretly gay, but Jack seriously sounds like Chris-Chan with his Sailor Moon posters to "keep him straight" when he goes off on that subject. That combined with him having a panic when he sees boobeh really adds up to him being gay.

 

[PlasticOwls]

His ineptitude at being a human being is so mind-boggling, it becomes funny. Jack's only redeeming feature is that his stroke gurglings and terrible cooking make me laugh. And that's the only reason why I'll be sad when he bites it.

There's definitely a morbid absurdity to Jack getting three different strokes for the same exact reasons. Like a Shakespearean tragedy that turns into a comedy as the fat man tempts fate feeding into his gluttony.

Then you realize this might be his fifth or even sixth stroke. And Jack's now a drooling cripple with half his face melting, You don't sympathize with the guy, but his life feels more like a Junji Ito story to be grossed out over than anything to laugh at.

Not that proudly trying to poison an entire church with rotten meat chili, or trying to pass off uncooked chicken as delicious, is never not funny; but even the cooking is too pathetic to laugh at anymore.

I know it's an often bogus characterization that anyone who expresses "homophobic" sentiments is secretly gay, but Jack seriously sounds like Chris-Chan with his Sailor Moon posters to "keep him straight" when he goes off on that subject. That combined with him having a panic when he sees boobeh really adds up to him being gay.

There's definitely merit to the whole 'projection hiding insecurity' concept, especially with cows like Chris and Vaush decrying the things they're secretly ashamed of. Or really outspoken anti-lgbt boomers like Senator Larry Craig who ended up being outed as a massive faggot for blowing dudes in bathrooms at airports.

 

[AnOminous]

Or really outspoken anti-lgbt boomers like Senator Larry Craig who ended up being outed as a massive faggot for blowing dudes in bathrooms at airports.

That was a total misunderstanding. He just has a "wide stance" on the crapper.

 

[Adamska]

I know it's an often bogus characterization that anyone who expresses "homophobic" sentiments is secretly gay, but Jack seriously sounds like Chris-Chan with his Sailor Moon posters to "keep him straight" when he goes off on that subject. That combined with him having a panic when he sees boobeh really adds up to him being gay.

He has openly admitted to having gay thoughts and thinks it's a choice at least on one occasion. We have soundbite evidence of this and everything from one of his shitty podcasts.

 

[AnOminous]

He has openly admitted to having gay thoughts and thinks it's a choice at least on one occasion. We have soundbite evidence of this and everything from one of his shitty podcasts.

Reality is if you have gay thoughts you have to fend off, YOU ARE GAY.

 

[AltisticRight]

He has openly admitted to having gay thoughts and thinks it's a choice at least on one occasion. We have soundbite evidence of this and everything from one of his shitty podcasts.

I mean, he's right.

Proposition I (AR, 2024)
If you present, to a gay man, the option to have sexual intercourse with Jack Scalfani or an average woman. The gay man will choose the average woman.

Proposition II (AR, 2024)
If you present, to a straight man, the option to have sexual intercourse with Jack Scalfani or an average man. The straight man will choose the average man.

Jack is FAT and I will NOT have sex with him.

 

[Pig Cups]

Also I love me a hot dog. It's a guilty pleasure, kraut is my #1 if not spicy mustard. To this day I'm truly heartbroken costco cut the kraut and only has yellow mustard. I feel like I lost a friend.

Don’t feel too guilty about it, I love me a good coney dog so if I have the cash I get myself a chili dog from Coney Island when I get the chance. mmmm goyslop

Hot dogs are how I open and close the grill every year.

First thing to be grilled is always a dog. Onions, hot mustard or yellow mustard and hot peppers. And that's only if I don't have any kimchi.

Hot dog sperging, eh?

I used to love going to the century-old George’s Coney Island in Worcester, MA when I was a kid. It’s still there to this day, and just oozes with charm.



Nowadays when I want to treat myself, I usually wait until my next trip to FL, where there is Dune Dog Café. Best hot dogs I’ve ever tasted in my life. Here’s the dog section of their menu:

Sweet onions and peppers like the ballpark street vendors are god-tier but there are few things that aren't good on a dog. Brown mustard, tomatoes, kraut, relish, I don't even have the stick up my butt that the anti-ketchup crowd do, but when you grow up, at least try more sophisticated things. Anything but celery salt though, fuck celery salt.

Celery salt is gud.

I do wholeheartedly agree with you that it is imperative for one to try more sophisticated hot dog toppings when they mature, though.

Also shaved parm all the way. Even if it's the one from the supermarket. The powder stuff straight out a shaker never tastes like much of anything.

More often than not, the shaker cheeses are packed with fillers, sawdust, etc. However, I prefer shaved parm as an accompaniment to salads and not much else.

My favorite method is to cut the wedge of Parmigiano Reggiano into small blocks, and grind them down in my food processor. The texture you get is perfect.