Hello,
My name is Ravn Thor Hegland.
I go by Ravn Thor, as one name, and that's important to me.
Only the #RealOnes can call me a nickname. But Ravn Thor is my true name.
I am a first generation queer mixed race(Nordic, Native, and Asian/Mongolian) Pagan transgender man former student who is 35 years old.
I am a 4.0 student, and was once called one of the “most advanced counselors” in my graduate program of Clinical Mental Health Counseling at NDSU.
My internship took place at MSUM, Minnesota State University Moorhead, where I received my degree with Magna Cum Laude honors Spring 2016 in film production with a minor in womens and gender studies.
Spring 2023 was my final semester in my NDSU graduate program, and my final semester interning (unpaid) at MSUM.
This would have been my last semester, graduating with honors. Sunna Cum Laude. I would have received my degree on Friday, Dec 15th, my Masters of Education from NDSU.
But due to what you will read, I had to withdraw for my health, for my safety, and to protect my clients, and colleagues and community who won't stand up for me.
In 2021, I was diagnosed with Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease.
It is an autoimmune disease, and it is very similar to Lupus. It waxes and wanes like the moon with flare ups of symptoms. My Rheum and I believe it probably is Lupus.
With autoimmune diseases:
One small infection can cause a whole systemic reaction.
I got bit by a dog down by the Storm Pond near my home this semester. That dog bite helped me get checked out at the Moorhead Sanford clinic and we found out that I had a case of athletes foot.
I lost all the weight that I gained last year, going from 136lbs to 108lbs. Presently, I have regained some weight back, about 4lbs.
On one of my walks this September, I collapsed and had no one available to call for help. Everyone on my emergency contact list were unavailable.
My family lives 6 hours away, and folks in my community are going through a lot of things too.
I called my counselor, because no one on my emergency contact list would answer the phone. I requested a week off. My counselor gave that message to my supervisor Shanti Behrens, who told her, “Don’t worry, I’ll have everything taken care for Ravn Thor.”
I did not have one sit down supervision session the whole semester with my supervisor Shanti Behrens.
As a counseling trainee, it is required to have 1 supervision hour a week with a licensed supervisor out of our internship sites.
Shanti terminated me, did not ask what happened, lied, and did not care when I told her I was food insecure and severely ill with no one to call. I called my counselor's office because again no one would answer the phone on my emergency contact list and spoke to the receptionist to leave a message for my counselor. My counselor had no idea, since Shanti had stated to her, “Don’t worry, I will have everything taken care for Ravn Thor.”
This was my office. Shanti Behrens told me to go to Public Safety or call someone to pick up my belongings. I'm grateful to Rebelle Marie, Kat Kosterman, and Faye Seidler who showed up for me during such a critical time in my life.
I have been an activist
since my 20s(this is my CV), uplifting LGBTQIA+ voices, minority voices, standing up speaking out in all the ways that I can since before I transitioned.
I have been betrayed by my Schools that I put my whole heart and soul into. I was ripped away from my clients with no explanation and ripped away from my future of being a counselor.
My clients bonded with me and grew so much in the short time I had with them. They made so much progress. I am so proud of them. I am proud of you.
I was targeted by
my faculty and phd student Veteran Revered Psychoanalyst
Steven Giddens (he followed me in the bathroom Spring 2023, and told me to take my sacred pagan necklaces off Practicum 2022)at NDSU since 2020. Other minority students in that program are being targeted but are too afraid to say anything because they have a lot to lose too.
But because I am who I am, I stand up for what I believe to be right, even if it's standing alone, and I submitted reports to hold the faculty at NDSU accountable and my Supervisor Shanti Behrens, Lisa Kremer, and Angela Bellanger and the team at the counseling center at MSUM accountable.
I will also be contacting the ACLU and a lawyer.
At this time, I am asking for help.
I maxed out my credit card, $2500, and my parents have been helping me financially. My parents are on social security too because they worked their whole lives and are retired.
They helped with my rent and gave me over $1500 this fall.
I also took out student loans for the first time in my life. I am close to $45,000 that I have to pay back. I took out those loans knowing I would have to pay them back because I thought that I was entering into a stable, safe, welcoming profession. How many people who graduated college experienced this very thing anyway?
I learned the hard way that even these spaces, the counseling human services field, people like me, minority people, etc, are still not welcome, even though we help our clients to believe in themselves and grow into who they want to become.
I've applied for jobs old school, with written applications and shaking managers hands. It took awhile but I finally landed a job up north at the Oasis. It is located at:
Oasis Convienence and Liquor
209 Wall Street Ave NW, Moorhead, MN 56560
I sell lottery tickets, make pizza, and even some reels on my
instagram to draw customers in, to bring business, to support a good store.
But this too took a dark turn. I told everyone my story/situation, was transparent, and the same thing happened again. No one stood up for me, or check the cameras, or anything. I had to withdraw and quit for my health. I was doing the job of 3 different people, again, and Sahjid did not help me or ask me what happened, or check the cameras, but instead gave me a verbal warning, while there is a Manager there who doesn't do much of the side work. I trusted my coworkers too, but they didn't know that my body was screaming, and I did my best to serve my customers. I smiled through the pain, mopped the floors, and even made instagram reels to promote the business. I called HR, who said she'd talk to Sajid. and nothing came of it.
It's hard to ask for money but to regain stability financially so that I can continue to make reels, pay for the oven, serve my community, write my story to put the wrong things right, and get my oil changed on my car.
I went and got my oil changed on my car, at Fix-It-Forward, but they wronged me there too.
People like to gaslight me, people I don't know, who don't read my story of what happened, and make unfair judgements on me based on rumors. They do not ask me personally what happened, and will not read the resources I send them.
I have indeed contacted law enforcement to begin an investigation. I also dealt with deadnaming at Social Services too. It needs to stop.
Lateral Violence in this community is killing us, and I have collapsed again and again, with no help. No emergency contacts available. It's very tricky. I have called all the local crisis lines and more. I am now contacting the FBI, local authorities, and also finding a lawyer and a detective.
The Troubled Teen Industry, which is discussed and shown by Paris Hilton's documentary on Netflix called Hell Camp, uses techniques and abuse to make someone change.
The Dakota Boys and Girls Ranch is responsible for the death of this families child:
At NDSU, I was viciously abused, targeted, and more. At MSUM, I was betrayed and lied to.
My community turned it's back on me, due to rumors, and lies. I was being groomed by a local LGBTQIA+ individual. I must contact a detective on monday about it.
Now, Campbell Properties at my property, Lakestone, Moorhead, MN, has been "checking in" with me to clean my apartment alone, while my body is screaming. I am in isolation. Isolation kills. Bootstrap mentality kills. There is also no help for men. At all. Men die and cry alone so many times.
I need good men/women/nonbinary/however you identify to be true to your values and share this story. I don't care as much about the money as I do ensuring that this story comes out.
Shautay at Campbell properties has switched on me. The same thing that happened at MSUM is happening here. She lured me in with being nice, hearing my story, then switching on me, then slapping me with a 500 dollar charge on an oven I accidentally broke due to a ptsd fit of isolation and despair as well as the complexities of autoimmune. I was transparent about it, and then they finally came and fixed it. Shautey now is having me only communicate via email. I have documentation of various different abuses going on. I went and spoke with Jay, at Campbell properties fargo. He said I had to pay for the oven, and I told him had I known that I would have budgeted better. I also told him that Shautey stated that she told me "not to worry about it" and that it would be okay.
I also told him I would be the groundskeeper too, because I pick up trash and recycling, and nails to protect neighbors cars. I told him that there has been no groundskeeper. I asked him to read the emails. I talked to Sally, who identified as Mixed Race on the phone, listened to me weep, and said she'd call Randy, who never called me back. So I showed up in person. Connection is a key thing to heal trauma.
There was even Meth outside on the sidewalk at my home. I picked it up, brought it inside, because there are kids in this neighborhood. I called the Moorhead police, who sent Officer Anderson over, and he took the Meth and had it tested. It tested positive for Meth, and then tested negative for fentanyl. I am protecting this neighborhood and my community from predators.
I left a good review of Campbells on google. I know people are working hard, and everyone is short staffed, however, we have paid our rent on time. I have sought help. However, I do not feel safe in my own home anymore due to consistent monitoring by people I don't know, who don't know me, or what happened. I also know #notall people are like this, and there are a few bad apples in every bunch. That's why I am passionate to uproot the root rot. To call it out. To stand up for what's right even if I am standing alone.
I was accosted to go into a neighbors car to go to some location I didn't know. I don't understand. I raise their voices too. They have ignored me and stonewalled me too. It's sad. It's honestly really sad. I feel sorry for them, I do not feel sorry for myself. I am shocked that this is happening too.
This is the intricacies of Intersectionality.
Please share. Copy and paste. Read my wall. I can't do this all alone. I have stated this multiple times. I'm on Tiktok now, but I want to rest. I need to rest. And I need my story to be shared. I tried contacting Valley News Live but they won't call me back. I sent an email to a faulty email address. I even tried calling or sending messages today about a car accident on i-94.
Everyone is overstimulated, compassion fatigued, burnt out, and more. I have collapsed and called for help, again, and again, and again. No help will arrive. How many people deal with this? I am tired and I am not your scapegoat.
I don't care what your politics are. This is America.
Asian Hate has risen so much. I am mixed race, and I am treated differently based on how people see me through what's called Microaggressions.
Asian hate is real, and I am proud to be Asian too. We all deserve to be able to walk in the park at night, go to whatever church we want, be who we are, and honor and appreciate diverse cultures. I express so much gratitude to the Asian markets, and their medicine and beautiful poetry and their community.
On Instagram, I have made reels raising marginalized voices and I am honored to have performed as The Crow at ValleyCon this past Fall.
The violence's this community is facing is atrocious. I shared a story about an
Indonesian woman who was abused and neglected. I wanted to wish her a marry Christmas this year.
But I don't know her name, and no matter who I call, I can't get through.
This money will help me afford rent, medication, gas, and food and help pay down my overdrawing of my credit card.
Thank you so much.
Thank you, my sincerest thanks to my diverse communtiies and complete strangers who have shown me so much love by seeing my humanity and showing me patience and kindness.
With gratitude and love,
Ravn Thor
He/him/his
Hope was at the bottom of Pandora's box. When I received my belongings from MSUM, the pin "Support and Empower Queer Youth" was at the bottom of my office box.
Be sure to check out my instagram to see the reels and videos made for minority businesses:
https://www.instagram.com/ravnthorhegland/
Please also consider patroning the wonderful diverse markets in the Fargo-Moorhead area, and stand up, speak out!
Thank you.
Ravn Thor
He/Him/His
