Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Tiresome]

"Snuggle with me as we watch Netflix together" on a pillow with his cartoon face on it.

That is possibly the most homosexual thing we've ever see Jack Scalfani do. And we've seen a LOT.

 

[Bassomatic]

It's amazing Jacks newest merch run is all slogans you find from the discount rack at shitty home good stores for that edgy but ok office behavior.

Reminds me of an ex she had at her job a "for fox sake" mug. God I feel angry even thinking of that cringe. I have a badass p51 mustang mug at work. Because I love flying and chuck Yeager is a personal hero the p51 is about as American as apple pie and it is pretty damn well insulted.

Yeah I'm little salty someone beat me to peeing on your shoes intentionally just to give jacks bitmoji a golden shower.

 

[Marc]

Jack?

Edit: This was in response to the stroked-out quality of Bassomatic’s original post. It has since been revised to be a more intelligible post boasting of a plane cup he drinks from exclusively in public.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Would be a shame if someone convinced Fatty that a dakimakura was just an xxxl "snuggle pillow" and he decided to make one for his larger audience members...

So much material to make one, it would cost like $100 and who in their right mind would want to snuggle Fatty on one of those things?

 

[A Bit Concerning]

Facebook Avatars / Memojis / Bitmojis / anything of the like are all copyrighted and it's illegal to use them for commercial use. Facebook probably doesn't care enough to actually start a lawsuit over this but it's hilarious to imagine them actually taking Jack to court over this.

 

[p1138]

So much material to make one, it would cost like $100 and who in their right mind would want to snuggle Fatty on one of those things?

Absolutely no one, but I'm sure there's some print on demand service for those things just so he could have a listing.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

 

[TrainWreckSpotter]

I hear signs of congestive heart failure in his voice. Did he have another mini stroke recently?

 

[semitooth]

I hear signs of congestive heart failure in his voice. Did he have another mini stroke recently?

one of his vocal cords collapsed

 

[Mundane Ralph]

I hear signs of congestive heart failure in his voice. Did he have another mini stroke recently?

No, but his new 10lb of candied meat and cheese a day diet has caused his pulse pressure to shoot up to 100. The heart attack is coming soon.

 

[fag0rz]

The shoes are ridiculous, but let’s not sleep on the “Special Needs Children At Play” bucket hat:

View attachment 5797391

Speaking of sleeping, check out this giant pillow that Jack thinks would appeal to… infatuated fans?:

View attachment 5797394

Featuring, of all things, a giant QR code on the back:

View attachment 5797393

And a special message from the man himself:

View attachment 5797383

N&CWJ, anyone?

Imagine going to bed every night with Jack's wild-eyed, drooling visage staring up at you. His products are so retarded they don't even have ironic value.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

The best part is, if it fails you can still rebuild the image assuming you went for RAID 5 or if you have more money, and space, go RAID 50 / 5 + 0 meaning striping and parity with a mirror. Using one device like this means it's literally only one point of failure. Unless Fatty also has a second one to use as a backup but we all know he doesn't.

If you are feeling adventurous, you can use zfs and go with RAID-Z.

 

[Bassomatic]

Jack?

Edit: This was in response to the stroked-out quality of Bassomatic’s original post. It has since been revised to be a more intelligible post boasting of a plane cup he drinks from exclusively in public.

My PC went full Jack as I posted.
Gotta ask Mrs basso to buy me a new "imak" in Tennessee vols colors to prove I'm a good Southern boy.
GET U NEW PC

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Anyone notice his right arm has no hair and his left arm has hair? And also has a more dead color? That can't be a good sign for fatty.

A whetstone is the best way to sharpen a knife though. That tool looks dangerous and pretty shitty

 

[Super Hans v2]

Anyone notice his right arm has no hair and his left arm has hair? And also has a more dead color? That can't be a good sign for fatty.

It's been like that for a while. After his 4th stoke killed his right arm, fluid has been building up causing hair to die, become bloated, and get that sickly color.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

And the other side of this cozy pillow ... ONLY $59.99!! Get you pillow

Spoiler: **SCAN ME**

 

[Atypical Dog]

Jack's pose raising the stroke arm always reminds me of Spongebob's pose from Sweet Victory. I hear the tune in my head every time I see it.

Thanks for reminding me of actual good media, Jack!

 

[Falcon Sebben]

A whetstone is the best way to sharpen a knife though. That tool looks dangerous and pretty shitty

You could see the knife was wobbling when he was sharpening it and the sharpening part wasn't always in contact with the blade. The blade isn't fixed well enough for this. One good thing I will say, it keeps it at the right angle. That's all the positives.

A decent whetstone will do a lot more for you than something like this or one of those sharpeners you drag the knife through. But for some cheap Chinesium knife I guess they're okay.

 

[AltisticRight]

Speaking of sleeping, check out this giant pillow that Jack thinks would appeal to… infatuated fans?

Imagine waking up and seeing that thing stare at you. I'd stroke out too.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Facebook Avatars / Memojis / Bitmojis / anything of the like are all copyrighted and it's illegal to use them for commercial use.

Which means that if a viewer retroengineered one of Jack's smug Bitmojis and had it put on a print-your-own dakimakura, for purely personal use, there's nothing Jack could do about it.

Although Jack's fans might run more tech-savvy; custom gamer mousepads are an option.