UK It’s official: The UK is the second-most miserable nation in the world - Britain has been placed at the foot of a mental wellbeing index, but there are bright spots amid the gloom


Well, there’s always someone else worse off, right? Here’s looking at you Uzbekistan, the only nation to rank lower than the UK in a global mental wellbeing index. Yup, we’re more miserable than Moldova. Bluer than Belarus. Even Yemen and Ukraine are in better spirits, apparently. First world problems just got real.

Measuring mental wellbeing is a tricky business. But the US non-profit, Sapien Labs, has had a go with its Mental State of the World report, the latest edition of which has just landed. Using data from 500,000 respondents in 71 countries, it measures how people’s “inner state impacts their ability to function within their life context”. In other words, mental wellbeing relative to the setting.

The results suggest that despite living through an unfolding humanitarian disaster, Yemenis are functioning better in relative terms than not only Brits, but the Aussies and Irish, too.

Right. Forgive us for not relocating to downtown Sana’a just yet. Rich Western nations performed poorly overall, with researchers noting: “Greater wealth and economic development do not necessarily lead to greater mental wellbeing.”

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Are things really that bad in Blighty? Is our stiff upper lip truly all a-quiver? The similarly dubious but slightly woollier World Happiness Report doesn’t think so. It ranks the UK 19th in its cheeriest nations index, between the Czech Republic and Lithuania. Still, you’d require weapons-grade patriotism to survey our land and conclude that all is well. The Office for National Statistics recorded an overall decline in personal wellbeing across the UK in 2023. Meanwhile, the charity Mind warns of an unfolding mental health crisis, particularly among men and young people.

Little wonder, then, that wellness retreats are booming. I went on one last year in Cornwall, run by the ex-rugby pro Anthony Mullally. Mullally’s not your archetypal wellness guru. He doesn’t drink kale or hug you for too long. In fact, he’s 6ft 5, with a Scouse twang, bulging biceps, long ginger hair and the look of a man whose ancestors arrived in England on a longboat.

His retreats aim to equip the kind of men who are congenitally suspicious of kale with the techniques they need to “stay steady in a chaotic world”. I must say, it’s kept me calmer.

But stresses abound. Money is tight. The health system is creaking. The sea is full of poo. Our Hogarthian town centres, with their boarded-up shops and rough sleepers, are yet further signs of a struggling nation.

“We have to find a new identity,” one Ilkeston resident told me recently in the down-at-heel Derbyshire town. It was once an engine room of the Industrial Revolution but is now best known for its cash point – currently the top-rated attraction on TripAdvisor. “Typical of Ilkeston humour,” another local told me. I suppose it’s reassuring that Britain’s sense of mischief limps on.

Where, you might ask, did it go wrong? Pick your villain. Covid. Putin. Brexit. The wokerati. Austerity. Bojo. Ulez. The lettuce prime minister. The anti-growth coalition. Blair. The internet. Hmmm. The internet.

Adding to a growing body of evidence, Sapien Labs identifies a link – not just in the UK, but globally – between poor mental wellbeing and the pervasiveness of smartphones and online comms. That young people are noted to have suffered the biggest drop in mental wellbeing appears to add heft to their argument. Ditto the fact that lower-tech countries, such as Sri Lanka and Tanzania, are among those recording better wellbeing scores. Stronger family ties in those nations were also linked to better mental health.

The internet has a lot to answer for, then. It has, of course, facilitated the home-working phenomenon that hushed our cities post-Covid. It sent dating and retail online, fanned the culture wars, and distracted us, research shows, from having sex. No wonder we’re glum. Has it also robbed us of a soundtrack for these weird times? In the moribund early nineties, there was at least a musical movement to lift the nation. Scant chance of a unifying Britpop 2.0 in the streaming age, with its fragmented, fickle audiences. No wonder we’re in the midst of misty-eyed 1990s nostalgia – when mullets are back, you know you’re in trouble.

“Everything’s online now, the shops have closed.” It’s a lament I’ve heard repeatedly on my travels across the land for this newspaper. Our sense of place, it seems, has gone. We are adrift in the digital ether. Lost and lonely in our screens. Barraged by bad news.

Perhaps that’s too convenient a narrative. Like the Mental State of the World report, it tells only part of the story. Another narrative is of resilient communities across the UK, which, like Ilkeston, have stepped up to start newspapers where theirs have folded, grow food in communal spaces, and even take over post offices.

They have united, too, to save our cherished pubs, bringing these community hubs into the hands of the people who use them. The UK has lost six per cent of its pubs in the last six years – reason enough to be glum – according to the British Beer & Pub Association. In that same period the number of community-owned pubs has soared by 63 per cent. My local, the Ivy House in Nunhead, a lynchpin of our neighbourhood, was London’s first, but not its last. Even Britain’s most remote village, Inverie, has dug deep enough to save its local, The Old Forge, which is reached only by hiking 17 miles or taking a ferry.
 
I'm not surprised really. For a very long time we had this convoluted network of social order, from the class structure to community clubs; we had the pub, the church, even the street you lived on was a community of people, not just a location you live at. People were active and sociable, everyone had their place in society.

That's all gone now, at least in a lot of places. People don't know their neighbors, they don't go to church, they drink alone instead of at the pub. It's no longer the case that you grow up knowing you'll be a coal miner with a steady income and a family - now you can be anything, which actually means you'll be a loser, now you can date anyone, which means you'll date no one, etc.

The internet is part of it for sure. Neets didn't exist 40 years ago. The collapse of the old economy - the mines, the mills, the factories, have also gutted communities. And of course there is the more recent transformation of society from mass immigration and other divisive issues. All of these things have killed community.

In short, 100 years ago you knew who you were, who you would be, what life would give you. You knew your country and what it stood for. Now, no one knows anything and can't cope. I think it's the same in most Western countries but British culture tends to be more pessimistic and aware of its faults.

Stiff upper lip and whatnot.
 

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Can confirm, bongland is fucked beyond repair. Due to reasons I’ve had to interact with the London populace, interviewing them for a position. Not a single one of them where white, they all had poor English and lied through their teeth to get through screening questions.
Missed a perfect opportunity to criticize their poor dental hygiene.
 
The UK is just a giant testing ground at this point. I'm sure someone will leak a study called MKBong that will explain how humans will be ok with anything you throw at them as long as it is gradual.
Close, that would be Sweden and what you're referring to is called "Stockholm Syndrome"
UK isn't that far off from becoming Sweden, but they're both joke countries nobody takes seriously anymore for a reason.
 
Being a gross and ugly people would be pretty depressing.

Edit: only applies to England.
Now this is the one thing I'll push back on. Scotland is just England but with even worse weather, and Wales is just England only you have to see that disgusting gibberish language Welsh on road signs
 
I wouldn't really take to heart those results since it's usually biased for whatever political target the non profit tries to achieve. Though it is admittedly funny that Ukraine is happier than the UK, and that country is on the verge of conquest. I also don't think UK was ever happy, they conquered a chunk of the world just to have something better than their women, weather and food. It doesn't help their government puts 1984 to shame in both tracking their every move and police incompetence.
 
Now this is the one thing I'll push back on. Scotland is just England but with even worse weather, and Wales is just England only you have to see that disgusting gibberish language Welsh on road signs
I'm mostly referring to the fact that the majority of British people are exceedingly busted and ugly, but those are also fair assessments.

Edit: this is a fairly accurate depiction of 99% of British women:
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500k people does not seem like a sufficient sample size to properly assess the general well being of a country. 500k wouldn't even be 1% of the UK's population, when you consider it's split between 71 total countries this really isn't saying much. Still funny to imagine brit's hating life more than every other 1st world.
I bet everyone asked was from London.
 
We didn't get most miserable? Well that's bloody brilliant, isn't it. Can't even win a misery competition. What a waste of time that was.
it's easy to see why "western countries' mental wellness did not bounce back the way we expected," you disingenuous fucks, it's because the powers that be have done everything they could for the last 4 years straight to make the life of the average person who just wants to live their day and be left alone intolerably fucking miserable.
This cannot be emphasised enough. The countries that are listed as the most miserable are the ones where the lockdowns, political interference, and coordinated economic fuckery hit the hardest. The UK's economy is in the shit because of how harshly those lockdowns and "social distancing" measures were enforced; we still haven't recovered so many years later and are currently in a death spiral, economically speaking, because subsequent cabinets didn't question the fundamental assumptions and have only titivated around the edges. They're mostly interested in extracting a pound of flesh from the previous incumbents, as a distraction from their wholesale looting of the economy.

Quite frankly, I'm surprised anyone here has any measure of happiness left in them.

This was push-polling to try and con people into believing that going veggie is the societal trend. Going veggie is still more expensive than eating a regular diet, despite what people often claim, because you end up eating a lot more expensive processed food, so the idea that people are doing it to save money is laughable.
 
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