UK It’s official: The UK is the second-most miserable nation in the world - Britain has been placed at the foot of a mental wellbeing index, but there are bright spots amid the gloom


Well, there’s always someone else worse off, right? Here’s looking at you Uzbekistan, the only nation to rank lower than the UK in a global mental wellbeing index. Yup, we’re more miserable than Moldova. Bluer than Belarus. Even Yemen and Ukraine are in better spirits, apparently. First world problems just got real.

Measuring mental wellbeing is a tricky business. But the US non-profit, Sapien Labs, has had a go with its Mental State of the World report, the latest edition of which has just landed. Using data from 500,000 respondents in 71 countries, it measures how people’s “inner state impacts their ability to function within their life context”. In other words, mental wellbeing relative to the setting.

The results suggest that despite living through an unfolding humanitarian disaster, Yemenis are functioning better in relative terms than not only Brits, but the Aussies and Irish, too.

Right. Forgive us for not relocating to downtown Sana’a just yet. Rich Western nations performed poorly overall, with researchers noting: “Greater wealth and economic development do not necessarily lead to greater mental wellbeing.”

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Are things really that bad in Blighty? Is our stiff upper lip truly all a-quiver? The similarly dubious but slightly woollier World Happiness Report doesn’t think so. It ranks the UK 19th in its cheeriest nations index, between the Czech Republic and Lithuania. Still, you’d require weapons-grade patriotism to survey our land and conclude that all is well. The Office for National Statistics recorded an overall decline in personal wellbeing across the UK in 2023. Meanwhile, the charity Mind warns of an unfolding mental health crisis, particularly among men and young people.

Little wonder, then, that wellness retreats are booming. I went on one last year in Cornwall, run by the ex-rugby pro Anthony Mullally. Mullally’s not your archetypal wellness guru. He doesn’t drink kale or hug you for too long. In fact, he’s 6ft 5, with a Scouse twang, bulging biceps, long ginger hair and the look of a man whose ancestors arrived in England on a longboat.

His retreats aim to equip the kind of men who are congenitally suspicious of kale with the techniques they need to “stay steady in a chaotic world”. I must say, it’s kept me calmer.

But stresses abound. Money is tight. The health system is creaking. The sea is full of poo. Our Hogarthian town centres, with their boarded-up shops and rough sleepers, are yet further signs of a struggling nation.

“We have to find a new identity,” one Ilkeston resident told me recently in the down-at-heel Derbyshire town. It was once an engine room of the Industrial Revolution but is now best known for its cash point – currently the top-rated attraction on TripAdvisor. “Typical of Ilkeston humour,” another local told me. I suppose it’s reassuring that Britain’s sense of mischief limps on.

Where, you might ask, did it go wrong? Pick your villain. Covid. Putin. Brexit. The wokerati. Austerity. Bojo. Ulez. The lettuce prime minister. The anti-growth coalition. Blair. The internet. Hmmm. The internet.

Adding to a growing body of evidence, Sapien Labs identifies a link – not just in the UK, but globally – between poor mental wellbeing and the pervasiveness of smartphones and online comms. That young people are noted to have suffered the biggest drop in mental wellbeing appears to add heft to their argument. Ditto the fact that lower-tech countries, such as Sri Lanka and Tanzania, are among those recording better wellbeing scores. Stronger family ties in those nations were also linked to better mental health.

The internet has a lot to answer for, then. It has, of course, facilitated the home-working phenomenon that hushed our cities post-Covid. It sent dating and retail online, fanned the culture wars, and distracted us, research shows, from having sex. No wonder we’re glum. Has it also robbed us of a soundtrack for these weird times? In the moribund early nineties, there was at least a musical movement to lift the nation. Scant chance of a unifying Britpop 2.0 in the streaming age, with its fragmented, fickle audiences. No wonder we’re in the midst of misty-eyed 1990s nostalgia – when mullets are back, you know you’re in trouble.

“Everything’s online now, the shops have closed.” It’s a lament I’ve heard repeatedly on my travels across the land for this newspaper. Our sense of place, it seems, has gone. We are adrift in the digital ether. Lost and lonely in our screens. Barraged by bad news.

Perhaps that’s too convenient a narrative. Like the Mental State of the World report, it tells only part of the story. Another narrative is of resilient communities across the UK, which, like Ilkeston, have stepped up to start newspapers where theirs have folded, grow food in communal spaces, and even take over post offices.

They have united, too, to save our cherished pubs, bringing these community hubs into the hands of the people who use them. The UK has lost six per cent of its pubs in the last six years – reason enough to be glum – according to the British Beer & Pub Association. In that same period the number of community-owned pubs has soared by 63 per cent. My local, the Ivy House in Nunhead, a lynchpin of our neighbourhood, was London’s first, but not its last. Even Britain’s most remote village, Inverie, has dug deep enough to save its local, The Old Forge, which is reached only by hiking 17 miles or taking a ferry.
 
Of course it is, we're unofficially ruled by the muzzie caliphate and our police force is against us.
We left the EU to escape it's draconian rule and ended up in a worse situation with two parties that are more or less a uniparty like with the Yanks not doing anything about unchecked immigration. We have no party to replace them and are spiralling the drain, and we don't have a nice little constitution with free speech and the right to defend ourselves with guns to at least offset it all and voice our discontent.
The worst part is we're being made to look bad by the french too.

The only people doing any reasonable protesting for issues right now are Palestinian protesters. Nobody protests anything that's actually happening in this country. Nothing about legal migration being WAY higher than the country can reasonably sustain, speech laws, police abuse (anyone remember the "lesbian nana" incident?), cost-of-living crisis.

Compare that to the farmers protests in France where they turn up with a manure-filled van and proceed to spray pressurized shit all over their governmental buildings.

We're being cucked by the French.
 
14 years of right wing government have left your nation utterly cucked and fucked. Imagine when Labour's Stammer gets power latter this year. At this point Anglos just embrace pick what drug you want to be known for. I suggest Meth your teeth are already fucked so who cares.
 
The Conservatives are a bunch of tranny hugging, refugee welcoming faggots who haven't conserved a single thing in 40 years, and the Labour party are a bunch of tranny hugging, refugee welcoming faggots who purged the last elements of the labouring classes from their membership about 40 years ago. In short, I hate them all and wish for the 1000 year Faragereich.
 
Agree the UK is one unhappy place, but suggest North Korea would still be at the bottom.

No idea how Sri Lanka and Venezuela are two of the happiest countries in the world. Both countries' economies are shit and thousands of Venezuelans have fled their country.

In general, outside the deservedly low ranking of the UK, this poll is rather problematical.
 
The fact that Brits whine so much about immigration just goes to show what miserable people they truly are. Fucks sake have some compassion, imagine how shitty your life has to be that moving your family to the UK is even a thought that crosses your mind? Stage 4 cancer has a more cheerful outlook than that island.

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You'd think a place whose map looks like this would be fun and whimsical but no.
 

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Agree the UK is one unhappy place, but suggest North Korea would still be at the bottom.

No idea how Sri Lanka and Venezuela are two of the happiest countries in the world. Both countries' economies are shit and thousands of Venezuelans have fled their country.

In general, outside the deservedly low ranking of the UK, this poll is rather problematical.
Sri Lankans have all dodged a bullet by not being born a couple of hundred miles northwest in India, reason to be cheerful
 
I’ve been hearing my whole life that the Tories are sabotaging the NHS so they can sell it to Kaiser Permanente, but that never seems to happen.
It's taking a long time, but it's very clear what is happening. Unless what they're doing is taking the one good thing about the UK and trashing it because of muh gubmint spednin'.
 
Do they still have voluntary liquor rationing up there?
Not anymore, scrapped on '82, dropped it from 18.7 liters per person to 13.8 after they undid the law it just shot up even higher to 22.
Whatever alcohol was doing to 'em it wasn't as bad as being sober in greenland
 
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It's taking a long time, but it's very clear what is happening. Unless what they're doing is taking the one good thing about the UK and trashing it because of muh gubmint spednin'.
It’s a lot easier to believe it’s a result of government incompetence and callousness than a 50+ year long mass right wing conspiracy.
 
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Daily reminder that their very best king wanted almost nothing to do with England, barely spoke any English (couldn't be bothered to learn such a mongrel language) and he ruled for some odd 9 months in total. He was more comfy in Aquitaine and marching with his army to reclaim the Holy Land.

Think about this deeply.
 
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