how do i deal with the fairies and gnomes in my backyard???????

[SentinentCloud]

the little shits are stealing all my pot, it is time for total fairy death

 

[not william stenchever]

Lure them into a prepared magic circle using treats and then close it and shower iron filings on the little shits.

 

[SentinentCloud]

i hate fucking faires mf faires

 

[User names must be unique]

faeries are protected by hate crime legislation. I believe you can report gnomes directly to the FBI though.

 

[not william stenchever]

i hate fucking faires mf faires

For a bunch of tiny shitheads that catch flame at the touch of steel they manage to steal an awful lot of my 10mm sockets.

 

[Battlefield2142EU]

Give yourself aids. When fairies and gnomes rape you. You will have the last laugh.

 

[Shig O'nella]

For a bunch of tiny shitheads that catch flame at the touch of steel they manage to steal an awful lot of my 10mm sockets.

That's the pixies. They're unbothered by iron.

Put a couple of mints down for them once in a while and they'll leave you alone.

 

[eatler]

Salt gun

 

[Tablet County]

@SIGSEGV Do you have any input on this topic?

 

[Asian tech support]

You might have to run for a local council position on a no gniggers platform.

 

[Doji]

Cats.

 

[Magicicada_septendecula]

Call an exterminator. Fairy infestations are really tough and require a professional.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

Bro you gotta move out of the gay neighborhood.

 

[Tetragrammaton]

what you wanna do is get a leprechaun. i know this sounds counterintuitive but just trust me. if you tell the leprechaun he can store his gold in your yard somewhere he will murder and consume all the other creatures to protect his gold.

he might even share some with you if you are chill about it. i used to have this same issue but with sprites and the occasional elf and the leprechaun cleared things right up.

 

[SentinentCloud]

what you wanna do is get a leprechaun. i know this sounds counterintuitive but just trust me. if you tell the leprechaun he can store his gold in your yard somewhere he will murder and consume all the other creatures to protect his gold.

he might even share some with you if you are chill about it. i used to have this same issue but with sprites and the occasional elf and the leprechaun cleared things right up.

i will buy the leprechaun

 

[SIGSEGV]

@SIGSEGV Do you have any input on this topic?

I am not a gnome, so I have nothing to say on the matter. Sorry.

 

[MadStan]

Stop taking LSD.

They're actually cats and dogs.

 

[Coldgrip]

Punch them.

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

You need to fight them without people thinking you are insane, so it needs to look natural. Decorations out of rowan wood, cold iron horseshoes, holly branches at all entrances. Plant St. John's Wart if you can, and put bells fucking everywhere.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

I am not a gnome, so I have nothing to say on the matter. Sorry.

You're 10x the gnome I'll ever be. Hats off to you, David.