DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[I don't say the N-Word]

The other realistic way I can see her asking for divorce is when Phail's body finally completes ghoulification and he needs a caretaker to even do basic tasks around the house, no way a lazy blob like Khet is taking care of him. Then again, with how she ballooned up and became morbidly obese so quickly it's possible she'll need a caretaker sooner than he would, I dunno how piggy will reACK to that if it happens.

totally bugged wife mechanics
nothing he could do
lean in manual divorce

 

[FamicomGorby]

Twatter user @PoliSciPhil used Google to create DSP jokes. Some are pretty good.
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Is this like an AI joke maker? Can this be used on any lolcow? Can Patposting be automated?

Ok, checked and I think it's just using Gemini, here's what it gave me



I tried to make it Patpost and it just gave me this

 

[Burl McMillan]

I personally believe this "couple" will be one of the few marriages in history to actually fulfill the 'til death do us part clause. As has been repeated ad nauseam, Phil gets to LARP as a mature adult and Khet has a roof over her head and daily doordash and Skyrim.

Spoiler: Hypothesizing a Divorce Saga

If we're to entertain the possibility of divorce, it would have to be initiated by Khet. I don't see Phil ever divorcing her because his ego will not allow the trolls to win by having his marriage fail. Khet on the other hand has a lot of leverage in their marriage. Phil is a semi-successful business owner of Burnell Productions with a house and a """stable""" source of income. If her supply of food and Skyrim ever get seriously threatened (i.e multiple instances of "sorry babe we can't get doordash on my day aff because I blew it all on champions it was a slow week for contributions" which causes her to poke around), she might wake up from her xanax-induced stupor and get a divorce lawyer who brings to light the actual amount of money he makes and force him to fund her Skyrim forever.

 

[Pandalee’s Tits]

Tuned in during lunch and Phil was crying about some guy who won an Oscar and thanked his parents for giving him a guitar instead of video games.

And not but two minutes later he started bitching about how people just can’t say anything in 2024 without offending someone.

After he just got done being offended and bitching.

Fuck you Phil

 

[A Piece of Coal]

But, she is looking. She is sleeping around. I would put good money on that she really only sleeps there a few nights out of the week. They can't afford the costs and fees for divorce. And you all can stop acting like Kat find someone else to fuck her. Even fat buu version here is probably rotating beds all week long

You can give me your money now then. That fat retard isn’t going anywhere. Or doing anything but playing video games.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

Tuned in during lunch and Phil was crying about some guy who won an Oscar and thanked his parents for giving him a guitar instead of video games.

And not but two minutes later he started bitching about how people just can’t say anything in 2024 without offending someone.

After he just got done being offended and bitching.

Fuck you Phil

You can read this dumb sack of monkey shit like a book. Right when I heard this live I said to my wife "5 bucks says phil hears about this and gets offended."

 

[DerichLovesSSI]

Twatter user @PoliSciPhil used Google to create DSP jokes. Some are pretty good.
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> Darksydephil gets a fortune cookie that reads, "Your future is bright." He immediately complains that the fortune is wrong.

Reminder that he literally did this, he got a fortune cookie at the start of his YouTube career that said a financial windfall is coming your way and he took it to heart and had it on his fridge with a magnet.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

Do you really thing she will just keep trucking like shes doing now for the rest of her life? I mean theres a chance, but she also can wake up one day and decide to do improve her life and get out of the DSP blackhole, after all thats literally what Panda did.

Panda was younger and always had some vague level of ambition. To give her the faintest of credit, that ambition even extended to trying to make the relationship with Phil work. She was legitimately putting forth effort and trying to improve things and push Phil towards proposing to her. She almost had the exact opposite experience of Khet.

When Khet first arrived, as far as we know, she was putting some effort into life. She was going to the gym every so often, managed to get a job, alluded to wanting to advice to some sort of management position, "cooked" food etc. But as time went on, she gave up on those things. There's no doubt in anyone's mind she hasn't been to the gym in years, it's debatable if she works at all anymore, and if she does, it's still part time nonsense. Holidays are QVC meals, Doordash probably sends an emergency text if they haven't used the app in 24 hours just to make sure they're okay.

The sad thing is, I think in her mind, Khet improved her life. Just like Phil thinks he's improved her life. Probably for the same reasons, honestly. Family, condo, chill positivity, meaningful relationship etc. She's not a powerless hostage like some of the posts are trying to insinuate. Phil isn't threatening to withhold food unless they only eat Doordash, or denying her the ability to work out. And unless they found a therapist that conducts sessions entirely through email, I don't think they're attending couples therapy.

They're probably the furthest thing possible from a healthy couple, but I think in their own twisted, delusional way...they're a happy couple. They both get to LARP as successful, married adults, without any pressure to actually do any relationship stuff. They eat nothing but garbage food with no nagging partner urging them to do silly things like "eat healthy" or "use real dishes that have to be washed." They're both hermits that escaped any form of judgment and can live in filth, eating garbage food and playing video games to their hearts content.

 

[grump]

Panda was younger and always had some vague level of ambition. To give her the faintest of credit, that ambition even extended to trying to make the relationship with Phil work. She was legitimately putting forth effort and trying to improve things and push Phil towards proposing to her. She almost had the exact opposite experience of Khet.

When Khet first arrived, as far as we know, she was putting some effort into life. She was going to the gym every so often, managed to get a job, alluded to wanting to advice to some sort of management position, "cooked" food etc. But as time went on, she gave up on those things. There's no doubt in anyone's mind she hasn't been to the gym in years, it's debatable if she works at all anymore, and if she does, it's still part time nonsense. Holidays are QVC meals, Doordash probably sends an emergency text if they haven't used the app in 24 hours just to make sure they're okay.

The sad thing is, I think in her mind, Khet improved her life. Just like Phil thinks he's improved her life. Probably for the same reasons, honestly. Family, condo, chill positivity, meaningful relationship etc. She's not a powerless hostage like some of the posts are trying to insinuate. Phil isn't threatening to withhold food unless they only eat Doordash, or denying her the ability to work out. And unless they found a therapist that conducts sessions entirely through email, I don't think they're attending couples therapy.

Imagine having few or no responsibilities at all from anything. All your basics are paid for. Nothing from work aside maybe from showing up 3 times a week to stack soup cans for a few hours. Other than that, no children, no friends, nobody to nag or demand you to do anything. You are basically free to do whatever you want, whenever you want, for as long as you want.

And what do you choose to do with this unlimited freedom? Sit in a bubble room all day every day outside of maybe work eating doordash junk food and playing essentially the same shitty game year after year on a 13 inch monitor.

Zero ambition and zero goals professionally and personally. In your mid-thirties you are satisfied having carved out a comfortable niche as a part time grocery bagger if you're not completely unemployed. You don't care about advancing a career not even slightly by climbing the ranks from junior to senior grocery bagger. You don't care about having a family or improving your spouse or the news local or global or socializing with anyone or anything in any capacity. You don't care about advancing your personal knowledge, interest, or skills in anyway or thinking about anything beyond your little bubble. You don't care about any sort of exploration of any kind whatsoever be it of your inner self or the outer world. You don't care about anything.

You just sit in your room plugging at the next radiant quest, and then the next one and the next one as the days and months and years slip away. Not one drop of regret or existential dread in your mind that would crush most other people into a pulp every day.

Must be a life.

 

[Brother Wind]

Are you Doody?

Okay retard. Like do you really think Kat is just Phil? Do you believe everything he says about her? Because that doesn't even add up with what we know about her prior to them meeting. It doesn't add up with how she acted when he touched her. It doesn't add up with her going out to a halloween party with friends. I'm starting to think you're all fucking Phil-level shut ins too. My fucking god. Make this picture you guys have of Kat make fucking sense.

 

[EmpGulcasa]

Okay retard. Like do you really think Kat is just Phil? Do you believe everything he says about her? Because that doesn't even add up with what we know about her prior to them meeting. It doesn't add up with how she acted when he touched her. It doesn't add up with her going out to a halloween party with friends. I'm starting to think you're all fucking Phil-level shut ins too. My fucking god. Make this picture you guys have of Kat make fucking sense.

What evidence do you have aside from really, really wanting it to be true that Kat is cheating on DSP?

 

[Iron Hamster]

Great opportunity to get a Phadcast with great Khantent like 30 minutes of talking about change the audio settings on Obs, 15 minutes of dead silence because Phil go downstairs to pick his wallet and 1 hour of Phasitive bitching about how the current game Phil is playing is unfair.

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redundancy

 

[Need Help With Tips]

Guys, I'm a successful business owner and live streamer but my audience is not supportive or pahsitive. I think they might be burnt out on RPGs, can you take a look at my schedule and figure out why?
Fighting games - 0 streams
Shooting games - 0 streams
Racing + Sports games - 0 streams
RPGs - 12 streams
Co-op games - 0 streams
Indie Games - 0 streams

Please help, my business is failing!

 

[Dragoonism]

How to offend Phil?
Win a Academy Award and thank you parents!

After some searching i can't find a single comment that fits Phils narrative, it is just hilarious how he lies to his audiance and they blindly accepts it, specially when it can easily be checked.

Phil don't play games for money!

 

[Brother Wind]

What evidence do you have aside from really, really wanting it to be true that Kat is cheating on DSP?

Well considering the way they act around each other. The weird schedule changes. The decline of "gotta quit because my wife is home". And she already cucks him by making him watch other streamers.

So you know know, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, feathers like a duck. It's at least some kind of waterfowl

 

[Skippy Shortbottom]

Guys, I'm a successful business owner and live streamer but my audience is not supportive or pahsitive. I think they might be burnt out on RPGs, can you take a look at my schedule and figure out why?
Fighting games - 0 streams
Shooting games - 0 streams
Racing + Sports games - 0 streams
RPGs - 12 streams
Co-op games - 0 streams
Indie Games - 0 streams

Please help, my business is failing!

Also, let's do side content, in all of them!

 

[EmpGulcasa]

Well considering the way they act around each other. The weird schedule changes. The decline of "gotta quit because my wife is home". And she already cucks him by making him watch other streamers.

So you know know, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, feathers like a duck. It's at least some kind of waterfowl

None of this points to infidelity so much as them having a bizarre autistic transactional relationship.

 

[I don't say the N-Word]

Guys, I'm a successful business owner and live streamer but my audience is not supportive or pahsitive. I think they might be burnt out on RPGs, can you take a look at my schedule and figure out why?
Fighting games - 0 streams
Shooting games - 0 streams
Racing + Sports games - 0 streams
RPGs - 12 streams
Co-op games - 0 streams
Indie Games - 0 streams

Please help, my business is failing!

 

[Fapcop]

None of this points to infidelity so much as them having a bizarre autistic transactional relationship.

Knowing women, I’d say there’s at least a 50% chance that khat is riding a thick niggerdick every Friday when she’s “at the Jim” and Phil is sitting entertaining the dents.

That still leaves a 50% chance that they’re just bizarre, fat lazy bones with literally no life, but at least the first option is more fun.

 

[A Piece of Coal]

Well considering the way they act around each other. The weird schedule changes. The decline of "gotta quit because my wife is home". And she already cucks him by making him watch other streamers.

So you know know, walks like a duck, talks like a duck, feathers like a duck. It's at least some kind of waterfowl

Gotta quit because my wife is home FROM WORK. She doesn’t work. That’s why. Kat speculation is already retarded since the fat bitch is worthless. But thinking that even the most desperate of tyrones would hit that slack-jawed mammoth is even more retarded.

Now let’s get back on track: Phil’s a faggot. Especially with that Oscar rant