Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Big Miss Steak]

Apologies for the double post

I understand this perfectly, I just think it would be insightful since I don't get the female perspective in literature that often.

This may sound strange but imo you should read fiction with well-written female characters from female authors. Nonfiction is more pretentious and boring. Preferably first-person narratives. Doesn't need to be set in the modern day. Pride and Prejudice, Rebecca (great perspective from a neurotic, anxious character), The Yellow Wall-Paper, The Bell Jar, Lolita (yes seriously and yes it's an exception to my female authors suggestion, but it shows obsessive objectification of a minor and I think a lot of men don't see this, or refuse to see it), Nightbitch, Persepolis (which can be found here). These vary in genre but it's what comes to mind at the moment.

 

[Shidoen]

I've decided to reenter the dating scene and honestly it's smooth sailing so far. Not as cataclysmic as I was anticipating.

 

[umami's milk]

Apologies for the double post

This may sound strange but imo you should read fiction with well-written female characters from female authors. Nonfiction is more pretentious and boring. Preferably first-person narratives. Doesn't need to be set in the modern day. Pride and Prejudice, Rebecca (great perspective from a neurotic, anxious character), The Yellow Wall-Paper, The Bell Jar, Lolita (yes seriously and yes it's an exception to my female authors suggestion, but it shows obsessive objectification of a minor and I think a lot of men don't see this, or refuse to see it), Nightbitch, Persepolis (which can be found here). These vary in genre but it's what comes to mind at the moment.

Would Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn count? I know it's popular and I know it's like American Psycho for film women, but the actual book goes into a captivating dive over two people who are putting up complete masks and how the relationship fails when one side refuses to play his part. Also on how someone's self and identity gets lost in what the media is portraying them to be. On narcissism. Half of it told through the perspective of the main villain, who is the wife! Also has a nice range of female characters from uppity rich girl, to lady cop, to trailer trash boonies.

I haven't finished it yet, but if you enjoyed the film then I recommend the book, too. Probably more relevant now than it was when it was released.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

Would Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn count? I know it's popular and I know it's like American Psycho for film women, but the actual book goes into a captivating dive over two people who are putting up complete masks and how the relationship fails when one side refuses to play his part. Also on how someone's self and identity gets lost in what the media is portraying them to be. On narcissism. Half of it told through the perspective of the main villain, who is the wife! Also has a nice range of female characters from uppity rich girl, to lady cop, to trailer trash boonies.

I haven't finished it yet, but if you enjoyed the film then I recommend the book, too. Probably more relevant now than it was when it was released.

I would say yes but I haven't read it

 

[Justa Grata Honoria]

I've decided to reenter the dating scene and honestly it's smooth sailing so far. Not as cataclysmic as I was anticipating.

Report to us back when you get date soldier

Good luck o7

 

[Gay Baby Jailer]

How do I find a woman who is into collecting medieval weapons like I am, and is also 6'2''? MUST like ICP and be down with the clown

 

[Aljam]

How do I know if I'm being catfished? I met a girl online who seems interesting but idk if I'm being sheistered. Now I wouldn't squander my monies but I paid for them to come visit but now I'm nervous it's all going to blow up in my face cause I'm a lonely fuck. The timing would be catastrophic if it turned out to be a catfish.

 

[Justa Grata Honoria]

How do I know if I'm being catfished? I met a girl online who seems interesting but idk if I'm being sheistered. Now I wouldn't squander my monies but I paid for them to come visit but now I'm nervous it's all going to blow up in my face cause I'm a lonely fuck. The timing would be catastrophic if it turned out to be a catfish.

how far is she?

 

[Shidoen]

Report to us back when you get date soldier

Good luck o7

I don't need luck. I just have to avoid getting killed.

 

[Tragon Dirtle]

How do I know if I'm being catfished? I met a girl online who seems interesting but idk if I'm being sheistered. Now I wouldn't squander my monies but I paid for them to come visit but now I'm nervous it's all going to blow up in my face cause I'm a lonely fuck. The timing would be catastrophic if it turned out to be a catfish.

how much money did you send?

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

Weird flex but okay.
Still wrong.
Can a guy not be genuinely curious?

Dating girls with mental health issues is a gamble that's not for the faint of heart. Some are genuine, loyal and mean well while others live up to every stereotype the bros warned you about. Are you willing to roll the dice?

Spoiler: Not speaking from experience

Looking back now, I always seemed to attract different flavors of crazy.

 

[Chromeo]

Question for any of the the single heterosexual women who might read this, are you still interested in a relationship, or have you just given up on it for whatever reason? Are you actively seeking out a relationship, not actively seeking one out, but are open to one developing? Have you just given up hope of ever having a fulfilling relationship with a man? None of the above?

Single bi woman. I'm not actively looking for a relationship, but I'm stupid enough to consider it if someone I like shows interest. I've been mistreated and cheated on, so I'm kind of wary that anyone I date would do the same thing (male OR female.)

 

[Ravier Xavenblood]

How do I know if I'm being catfished? I met a girl online who seems interesting but idk if I'm being sheistered. Now I wouldn't squander my monies but I paid for them to come visit but now I'm nervous it's all going to blow up in my face cause I'm a lonely fuck. The timing would be catastrophic if it turned out to be a catfish.

How far away is she and did you call/video chat to confirm her identity? Personally I'd never, EVER send money to someone I hadn't met IRL and even after I did, I'd be extra wary before I actually knew her.

 

[ShiftyBoi]

How do I know if I'm being catfished? I met a girl online who seems interesting but idk if I'm being sheistered. Now I wouldn't squander my monies but I paid for them to come visit but now I'm nervous it's all going to blow up in my face cause I'm a lonely fuck. The timing would be catastrophic if it turned out to be a catfish.

Alls you gotta do is ask for things a normal catfish can't provide. Picture of a person holding up some paper with a message you've requested written on it.
Reverse image search is your friend. Make sure their mannerisms line up with what they've told you about themselves.

I got scammed into doing an art commission once, it was this lady said she wanted a drawing for her son, when it came time to pay "she" dropped the mannerisms she was using and started saying bro and mate a bunch because the guy on the other end was tired of the charade and wanted to get the money as fast as possible because I was starting to catch on.

 

[Aljam]

Well shit.
I guess I'll know on April fool's day.

 

[Shidoen]

Well shit.
I guess I'll know on April fool's day.

Well it’s better than it being a dude in a wig. That joke has been drawn out for too long on those dating sites.

 

[cia-log]

Single bi woman. I'm not actively looking for a relationship, but I'm stupid enough to consider it if someone I like shows interest. I've been mistreated and cheated on, so I'm kind of wary that anyone I date would do the same thing (male OR female.)

I got into some very abusive relationships when I was young, took me years to sort out my destroyed self-worth. On the bright side, being charmed and manipulated made me reflect on how they managed to mask their abusive behavior, and what it was about myself that made me fall for it and why I didn't just leave when things got bad.

It does get better if you put the work in. One thing I can share, since almost all abusers are coming from a place of insecurity (which is why they need someone beneath them), it's easy to scare them off. When I was insecure and sheepish I kept finding myself in the sights of that kind of person. Once I became confident they basically all vanished. They're like shady salesmen, they'll try to size you up during conversation, look for weak spots, see how you respond to pressure, if you're nervous etc. but if you spend time understanding your own boundaries and how to politely but firmly maintain them, they just go away, and most of the time they just won't even approach you in the first place.

I know how devastating it is to be cheated on. Treat yourself with respect and the kinds of people that value that quality in a person will show up instead of the vultures you're used to. Things won't stay gloomy forever.

 

[bile demon]

You can’t truly run away from a problem that makes up 50 percent of the world population lol.

Couldn't agree more. Nothing good can come from declaring half of the world your sworn enemy. Why not start with a smaller, more realistic number? Let's say, two tenths of a percent.

Spoiler

 

[Sneed S. McSneedensen]

How do I know if I'm being catfished? I met a girl online who seems interesting but idk if I'm being sheistered. Now I wouldn't squander my monies but I paid for them to come visit but now I'm nervous it's all going to blow up in my face cause I'm a lonely fuck. The timing would be catastrophic if it turned out to be a catfish.

You should be meeting people irl.

 

[Gay Baby Jailer]

How do I know if I'm being catfished? I met a girl online who seems interesting but idk if I'm being sheistered. Now I wouldn't squander my monies but I paid for them to come visit but now I'm nervous it's all going to blow up in my face cause I'm a lonely fuck. The timing would be catastrophic if it turned out to be a catfish.

If you're worried about it, could you maybe just buy the plane ticket yourself? That way she doesn't actually get any money if shes scamming you? (never tried paying for someone to visit me, so don't know)