Megathread Trannies posting their L's Online - Heckin valid people posting their funny misfortunes on the internet

[FrancineCansMcGee]

Pooner finds out younger brother whacked his balls on a pole. Pooner is jealous.
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Spoiler: Text

Boyhood
My (cis) brother was telling me about how he and his friends were outside at lunch and his friend ran and slipped into a pole colliding his balls into it. And it makes me sad that i never got any of those experiences. Even though getting sacked probably hurts a lot its like a rite of passage for all young men.

I wish i got to have that cis boyhood that he gets to live through and i was robbed of it. Have any of you guys gone through something like this? And how did/do you heal your inner boy?

Posts talking about another family members genitals are so common in r/FTM. I wonder if there's an association with trans ideology and incest? Maybe the current social breakdown is causing a kind of 'Flowers in the Attic' effect on the youth.

“I’m so jealous of boys getting hit in the balls.” There is nothing these people can’t turn into greener grass.

 

[Watcher]

My favourite thing about transphobia is that some of the best insults against troons were invented by the troons themselves. 41%, girldick, all this "birthing parent" stuff, they came up with it.

The word "Troon" itself was originally a self appointed label by transgender individuals on Something Awful. It was originally a combination of "Transgender" and "Goon". It became a slur later after it started catching on after they started antagonizing people for using the word "Tranny".

 

[Mexican Molotov Marauder]

That said, just imagine the hilarious shit that goes on when you gather 150 mentally ill women hopped up on testosterone in a secluded, outdoors environment. I'm surprised there's been no mass pooner murder that has occurred.

That shit would make for an excellent 80s slasher flick. I'm thinking a knockoff Friday the 13th, where a campful of pooners are stalked by an AGP gigahon with a feminine erection.

 

[Szfynks]

That shit would make for an excellent 80s slasher flick. I'm thinking a knockoff Friday the 13th, where a campful of pooners are stalked by an AGP gigahon with a feminine erection.

Sleepaway Camp remake for modern audiences.

 

[John Mass Effect]

Also I have never hugged anyone around the neck, got dang pooners making me second-guess mundane human interactions. It's like when someone tells you to think about breathing and then breathing feels weird.

Speaking as a vertically challenged female specimen, neck hugs, for me, would require either jumping or forcing people to bow. Both options seem positively retarded when I can simply reach around the torso for a hug. Always thought it was about height differences and comfort, not genitalia.
Brb lopping my tits off. Should've known it was my authentic male soul doing the deed.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

I wonder if there's an association with trans ideology and incest?

Consider the following: Fujoshis

 

[Procopius]

That shit would make for an excellent 80s slasher flick. I'm thinking a knockoff Friday the 13th, where a campful of pooners are stalked by an AGP gigahon with a feminine erection.

Check out that Mother Jones article linked above for some starting points. You've got the paranoid "gun"-freak

Randi strolls around the dining hall on the first day of camp wearing a worn leather holster on his belt, but no gun. Instead, he’s packing an STP (“stand to pee”)

Who can be your "not really the villain, but you all thought so in act one"

Randi stops wearing his STP holster after the first night of camp—it’s not needed.

(As an aside, that "it’s not needed" line becomes more troubling the more you look at it.

The shy nerd

Here, as Real Boy Ben puts it, “I don’t have to go into the bathroom and wonder, ‘Is someone listening to me while I take toilet paper? Is someone noticing that my feet are facing a certain way?’”

The kid dressed by his mum

Peter, 41, usually fears standing out by the fit of his pants or by his gait, but “even in the airport on the way here, I start to let my guard fall away.”

All engaging in super manly pursuits

I saw guys being careful not to hog the best tie-dye colors

And fighting for that alpha-male role

[ I saw guys ] inviting others to go first for food or the zip line

And if you're looking for a way to fit in that gratuitous bouncing naked breasts scene, what better than (and I kid you not, the article really does say this)

a shirtless volleyball match

 

[neverendingmidi]

Honestly, I thought I was sheltered as a child, but the more I read poonerspeak the more it seems like none of them have ever interacted with a psychologically halfway normal member of the opposite sex. Like, what kind of men do you have in your life that go into the woods to... *checks notes* ... form a knitting circle and talk about their feelings??

I mean, not that they can't, but like... come on. Have you ever actually interacted with a human man? The ability of troons to claim to be the opposite sex somehow, in their brains, while exhibiting the most sex-typical behavior and mannerisms possible just never ceases to astound

But, but, but… see icky cis men don’t do masculinity right. They do all the icky male grunting and strength stuff or something, not the meditation and truly understanding the inherent masculinity in crochet and crying their feelings out while surrounded by other super masculine doods.

Is sleep-away camps an uniquely male experience in the states? I was a scout until I was 18 and our camps were always unisex.

I think (note- my family could never afford a sleep away camp), most are unisex, but the sleeping arrangements are separate. And if they are single sex at a time, it would probably switch off from week to week.

 

[behindyourightnow]

I am a true and honest woman.

I just inventoried my hugging experience history.

Friends / family hugs mostly (since we aren’t talking about passionate heteronormative embraces here)… and I’ve never hugged someone around the neck.

The standard default hug for either men or women has always been right arm over their left arm (around the shoulder), and left arm under their right arm. Embrace, add in a couple of back pats, maybe air-kisses, and then break.

Have I been hugging wrong all these years?

I think they mean that kind of very casual semi-hug that friends do when saying hi, where you lean in and sort of hook one arm around their shoulder/neck, with your torso not touching theirs? Like this, except less awkward than the stock photo models:




I do that with male friends too though. And I don't think men particularly avoid it although maybe it's more common with women?

These idiots won't stop talking about how transition allows them to be their "genuine selves" and yet they spend their whole lives acting like they're spies trying to infiltrate a foreign embassy. "Make sure your left hugging arm doesn't slip below the region of the fourth rib, or he will realize you're not local and drag you off to be executed."

I want to send some bulky lumberjack-looking dude with fake top surgery scars who will declare all the huggy shit to be "girl stuff." Just make no effort whatsoever to present as anything other than cis male. See what happens.

I think we already know what will happen: they'll all run off to cry in the bathroom, and the lumberjack will have to do his macramé-penis craft all alone.

 

[Rhialtokourai]

“I’m so jealous of boys getting hit in the balls.” There is nothing these people can’t turn into greener grass.

Pregnancy vests and electric period cramp simulators exist, but I've never seen a testicular torsion simulator for women. But here we see demand exists. How should one tap into this market?

 

[Friedrich Hayek's Ghost]

Is someone noticing that my feet are facing a certain way?

Are pooners just unaware that some men sit to piss anyway? The Germans call them sitzpinklers.

 

[Syikeblade]

This little lady is upset her girlfriend won't give her a blow job, what makes it funnier is his she says "Yeah it's physically different but mentally it's the same Idea" whatever that's suppose to mean.
And these comments man:
"My also ftm partner was like this. I’d please him but when it came to my turn he refused because he was “uncomfortable” with it. It made me feel dirty and undesirable. I forced myself to be a service top but when he was done I had to roll over and get myself off-on the verge of tears. I’m glad he eventually broke up with me since I never got anything good out of that relationship. I literally had to beg him just to hang out with me or even kiss me."
And this one:
"If she’s been with both men and , what’s the problem with going down on you?"

 

[P. Barnes’ THOT 2.0]

G

Looks to be Camp Namanu, the middle dorm bunk and interior photos match their new dorms.

Something very unsettling about hordes of pooners skulking around a campground intended to be for summer camps

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Google maps photos show a what looks to be a tranny, but is lacking any more info apart from another photo of the same people and some photos from a wedding.
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Also tracked down the Camp Lost Boys Vimeo account, probably could archive and dox their previous location through that but I doubt its worth the effort.

Only thing really interesting is their old logo. What better way to appeal to, and stake your claim as men to put a massive cock on your camp logo.


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Oh my god-6th graders come here for a week of outdoor school I hope they wipe up their testosterone gel

Spoiler: Fucking gross dood

I went there in the 6th grade, too. Way to ruin things pooners

 

[pink cigarettes]

This little lady is upset her girlfriend won't give her a blow job, what makes it funnier is his she says "Yeah it's physically different but mentally it's the same Idea" whatever that's suppose to mean.
And these comments man:
"My also ftm partner was like this. I’d please him but when it came to my turn he refused because he was “uncomfortable” with it. It made me feel dirty and undesirable. I forced myself to be a service top but when he was done I had to roll over and get myself off-on the verge of tears. I’m glad he eventually broke up with me since I never got anything good out of that relationship. I literally had to beg him just to hang out with me or even kiss me."
And this one:
"If she’s been with both men and , what’s the problem with going down on you?"

The way they filter their relationship problems, sexual dysfunction, and gender delusions through the language of BDSM in order to cope. Also "mentally it's the same idea"- wtf does that even mean? "I can't feel anything when you suck my floppy skin tag, but then I get to tell people my gf sucks my 'dick'?" Psychotic

 

[AssignedEva]

Those last three are fucking manly as shit. I bet this is totally worth the money. How much money are we talking Got Milk!?:

Putting aside the poonery and just looking at her situation -

I get that escaping an abusive partner can be very difficult, especially if you're financially dependent, and she might struggle with processing a lot of things that could make holding down a job difficult. But she's "currently self employed and not making much money" (does arts and crafts and claims unemployment), and her escape plan at this point in time is crashing on a friend's couch. Surely the first priorities should be getting a job (any job, any crappy job you can) to build up a source of income and then find somewhere to live? The cost of that camping trip deposit could be better spent towards a rental deposit on a house share, let alone the cost of "intensive therapy".

Like it sucks that the point in time you could need therapy most is also the point in time where you need to deprioritise it, but the primary focus should be on survival. She might be thinking "once I get a job I won't have the time off for intensive therapy or to go on this camping trip that I think will be good for me" and yeah that's crap, but also you're currently homeless and escaping a man who has violent fantasies of mutilating you - there's bigger fish to fry!

 

[Mitt Doggy Dogg]

“I’m so jealous of boys getting hit in the balls.” There is nothing these people can’t turn into greener grass.

Nothing tells me I'm a male more then getting hit in the balls

 

[countrybumpkin]

 

[Apustajan apustaja]

This little lady is upset her girlfriend won't give her a blow job, what makes it funnier is his she says "Yeah it's physically different but mentally it's the same Idea" whatever that's suppose to mean.
And these comments man:
"My also ftm partner was like this. I’d please him but when it came to my turn he refused because he was “uncomfortable” with it. It made me feel dirty and undesirable. I forced myself to be a service top but when he was done I had to roll over and get myself off-on the verge of tears. I’m glad he eventually broke up with me since I never got anything good out of that relationship. I literally had to beg him just to hang out with me or even kiss me."
And this one:
"If she’s been with both men and , what’s the problem with going down on you?"

These people can go on and on about how they feel to some therapist but cannot negotiate their own sex lives with people they presumably love? Shock.

 

[Terfmaster9000]

Pooners and commentary on pooners like this have given me a much greater understanding of male and female psychological differences. Although (due to being terminally online forever) I can usually guess from a post if someone is male or female, all the posts about female-brained pooners have really amped up my detection skills. I couldn't always tell you in the past WHY something read male or female, nowadays it's easier to point to specifics. And I have a greater understanding now of why men see women as neurotic and illogical, and why stuff women go batshit over is really not seen as an issue by men, not necessarily out of malice but it's just not on their radar as an issue. Female socialization vs. male socialization seems a lot more obvious now, too. Every time some guy rips on a pooner for female brained thinking, it's like a little nugget of insight.

Be aware that you only gained understanding of batshit crazy women and men. What you see online, and especially here, is not an accurate representation of either gender.

 

[A Fucking Houseplant]

This little lady is upset her girlfriend won't give her a blow job, what makes it funnier is his she says "Yeah it's physically different but mentally it's the same Idea" whatever that's suppose to mean.
And these comments man:
"My also ftm partner was like this. I’d please him but when it came to my turn he refused because he was “uncomfortable” with it. It made me feel dirty and undesirable. I forced myself to be a service top but when he was done I had to roll over and get myself off-on the verge of tears. I’m glad he eventually broke up with me since I never got anything good out of that relationship. I literally had to beg him just to hang out with me or even kiss me."
And this one:
"If she’s been with both men and , what’s the problem with going down on you?"

Suck the girldick rotdog, bigot