Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Super Hans v2]

This just illustrates how disconnected some of these brands are with reality. They see Jack as one of the OG "YouTube chefs" and sends him free stuff. He doesn't care about the product and often fails to even read the manual. They're all suckers sending him free toys that he'll use once and stash away forever.

Not that I'm an overpaid marketing exec or anything, but I would think that the first thing they'd look at his viewer to sub ratio, and second his comment section. It'd take all of 30 seconds to figure out that sending him even a brochure would be pissing money away.

And I hope for their sake that they gave him the brewing kit on loan. Spike's beginner kits go for $2700.

 

[Andoxico]

 

[Gulls on Film]

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Let me guess, even fucking beer is carnivore now?? Thanks MOM!

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Can we agree that this is the first thing Jack has ever been right about?

Edit: I was technically late on this

I hope this is the start of a 'KingCobra Homemade Mead' saga.

"This new batch of mead has chuck roast and peeps. Yes, it's carnivore MOM, because the peeps will dissolve. SUGA is only bad if you eat it as a solid."

 

[AnOminous]

And Thanksgiving is a big deal meaning he had freshly roasted turkey with all the trimmings. Why the fuck would he want some of Fatty's freeze dried shit?

And if you were in the field or somewhere without a kitchen, you'd still probably have a bunch of these available:

Jack wearing his cap backwards still annoys the hell out of me.

Anyone who does that over the age of, say, 12, should be beaten to death with a crowbar.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Which didn't make sense because soldiers, on base, are well fed and taken care of. And Thanksgiving is a big deal meaning he had freshly roasted turkey with all the trimmings. Why the fuck would he want some of Fatty's freeze dried shit?

This would require Jack to have an informed opinion of how the military feeds the troops, rather than an opinion based on films where they eat MRE's because thats what the 22 year old California writer thinks the military does.

 

[AltisticRight]

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That's a lot of numbers instead of FAT.

 

[lindsayfan]

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I'm getting my own stroke trying to read this new mug of his.

GET THESE HANDPRINT

why would you bother glancing more than once at the wording on a piece of merchandise that's going to represent your brand, and for which you're asking money? jack's too BUSY for all that-- just slap some illiterate bullshit into the tard-proof merch template and onto the site it goes!

looking at those horrific older freezedry videos, i must've missed the era when his sassily effeminate unlicensed bitmoji had a big thick ring of cum around its dickhatch

 

[AnOminous]

Memories of my child

Which child? The one he tried to strangle to death?

 

[Skwisgaar Skwigelf]

Jack is now selling MILF mugs on his Dolphin Store.

 

[eatler]

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Jack is now selling MILF mugs on his Dolphin Store.

I can’t wait for gilf mugs “god I love food”

 

[Falcon Sebben]

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Fucking weight is still the same and has been for a month now.

BP is sky high.

And he's lying about his sugar.

And if you were in the field or somewhere without a kitchen, you'd still probably have a bunch of these available:

I didn't know they made Thanksgiving MREs. Still gotta be better than whatever Fatty sent.

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Jack is now selling MILF mugs on his Dolphin Store.

OH! He's being clever! Or... at least thinking he's being clever.

 

[eatler]

And he's lying about his sugar.

Inconceivable! He wouldn’t snack on a bunch of peeps we know he’s better than that!

 

[Mundane Ralph]

BP is sky high

Not just that but his pulse pressure of 88mmHg is very high. When it gets to 50+ it greatly increases your chances of having various heart issues and if you've got diabetes, which Jack does, it can cause eye and kidney damage.

 

[Bassomatic]

Damn Jack is in full tear denial. making his own booze and peeps. Yeah next he's going to jerk a dude off but not lick his hand after because that would be gay he's just helping prevent prostate cancer to his homie.

Bri, can't blame her for getting fat but it saddens me a small town yokel suckered into the scalfanni cult/clan/dumpster. Her husband brings home expired hot dogs for her to eat she is busy in school and she has to hit up fast food because no one can cook in the whole compound.

Many women her age could find a real man after a divorce but now she's whale size? Poor thing. Also so I don't sound like a simp/white knight, also poor thing is what I say to any sofa before she sits on it

I'm legitimately shocked by the home made booze thing. I thought Jack would keep that lie up for good. At least peeps had wherewithall to hide behind Easter. But we all know fat faggot wanted to eat 80+ marshmallows.

You could almost see how jealous he was bri got to eat one or two herself. Jacks that much a Wendigo.

Rob as always is a national treasure and I know notice me senpai behavior is bad, I'd sure be tickled pink if some how I got a shout out (my screen name is from a blender).

I understand Tammy is one of those weirdos who enjoys being angry but, even with profits of old house sale and all they have to be burning money so quickly. I wonder if we get a broke with Jack series or something soon. The financial situation they have has been bad for a long while. Part of me suspects tams parents are helping more than we know.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Bri, can't blame her for getting fat but it saddens me a small town yokel suckered into the scalfanni cult/clan/dumpster.

She was suckered into the Scalfani clan by willingly agreeing to marry an obviously closeted homosexual from an unashamedly piece of shit family. It's not like they hid how shitty they are from her until the trap was sprung, they are incapable of pretending to be anything else. She chose this. She made her bed, now she has to watch Jr. fuck dudes in it.

 

[Bassomatic]

She was suckered into the Scalfani clan by willingly agreeing to marry an obviously closeted homosexual from an unashamedly piece of shit family. It's not like they hid how shitty they are from her until the trap was sprung, they are incapable of pretending to be anything else. She chose this. She made her bed, now she has to watch Jr. fuck dudes in it.

You'd think murder church would have told her to not be an ally to the gays but here we are she became a beard.. and has a dad bod to match.

 

[James done did it]

This just illustrates how disconnected some of these brands are with reality. They see Jack as one of the OG "YouTube chefs" and sends him free stuff. He doesn't care about the product and often fails to even read the manual. They're all suckers sending him free toys that he'll use once and stash away forever.

I'm not so sure about this. I think sending him free shit to retard about with is actually a 3d chess play if your main goal is to just generate buzz on the cheap. Jack's own channel doesn't get shit for views but the entire network of 'creators' who offer color commentary and reaction content around him is pretty sizable. Like you know there will be a bunch of popular e-drama fags reacting to this with their mysterious, sudden knowledge of brewing, and some legitimate craft brewing channels that likely customers might be watching will probably chime in if it ends up being an infamous disaster.

Him having a bad result with your product isn't necessarily going to have a downside exactly because he's a known (retarded) quantity among the people who are still paying attention. The price of admission with Jack is literally just sending him the product so they're not out that much if it just ends up being an unexceptional and boring video (most likely).

 

[Mundane Ralph]

I'm not so sure about this. I think sending him free shit to retard about with is actually a 3d chess play if your main goal is to just generate buzz on the cheap. Jack's own channel doesn't get shit for views but the entire network of 'creators' who offer color commentary and reaction content around him is pretty sizable. Like you know there will be a bunch of popular e-drama fags reacting to this with their mysterious, sudden knowledge of brewing, and some legitimate craft brewing channels that likely customers might be watching will probably chime in if it ends up being an infamous disaster.

Him having a bad result with your product isn't necessarily going to have a downside exactly because he's a known (retarded) quantity among the people who are still paying attention. The price of admission with Jack is literally just sending him the product so they're not out that much if it just ends up being an unexceptional and boring video (most likely).

If this were the case they would've sent the shit to cobes

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

Guess who’s making beer courtesy of @SpikeBrewing

Yeah, I'll guess: it's Tranny.
I'm sure she's THRILLED with this workload (meant for Jagoff) showing up on the front doorstep. Assembly-wise, he won't be able to do shit, so she'll be stuck doing everything since lazy piece of garbage Jr. will be 'busy' raging on COD. Same goes with actually producing the finished product. Having a, you know, full time J-O-B ... Tranny's un-fucking-believably patient, and loyal (to a fault) I'll give her that.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Yeah next he's going to jerk a dude off but not lick his hand after because that would be gay

Semen is C A R N I V O R E, Mom.