Fanfiction Horrors

[Aunt Carol]

TLR sentient animal human hybrids who can read but can't fish engage in hetero-upsetero sex and the rabbit dood gives birth to puppies. Author gets tons of thirsty comments and fanart.

People have different levels of autism sensibilities.

They're animal-people and one of them has a vagina now--well, that kind of thing happens in horny fanfic, I guess. You're absolutely right that the problematic aspect of this fic is that the author has no idea how to survive in the wilderness and hasn't figured out relative scale + how they interact with the local humans. We know how fuckin' works; justify this fantasy ecosystem before I lose the ability to suspend my disbelief!

I guess it's less of a problem if you're personally horny for furries or kemonomimi or whatever they ended up being.

 

[umami's milk]

I'm just trying my hardest to ignore the obvious chromosomal challenges. That come from being part human and part animal... and there being other human-animal hybrids that are not the same animal that you are. Then you try to...

I mean I'm doin' it but it's hard.

 

[Gorillion others]

To be honest, the entire crossover section of My Hero Academia would suffice as being horrible.

 

[God of Nothing]

all crossovers would suffice as being horrible

fixed that for you

 

[Gorillion others]

fixed that for you

Yeah, but the fans there are really the root of the entire problem.

 

[Aunt Carol]

fixed that for you

I read a really good Pokemon/NBC Hannibal crossover once.

 

[Aunt Carol]

It is a mythic AU where Soap is a bunny hybrid and Ghost is the wolf hybrid.

Doubleposting to make ping work: I am probably never going to read this story, but I have to know: does the author explicitly state that they have both human and animal ears, as depicted in the fanart?

Because that's awful too. Listen, you can have implausible animal hybrids, that's a style thing and I'll adjust, but you don't get two sets of ears per head unless one of them is a headband. Now it's just egregious!

 

[Chandelier]

Doubleposting to make ping work: I am probably never going to read this story, but I have to know: does the author explicitly state that they have both human and animal ears, as depicted in the fanart?

Because that's awful too. Listen, you can have implausible animal hybrids, that's a style thing and I'll adjust, but you don't get two sets of ears per head unless one of them is a headband. Now it's just egregious!

Now that you mentioned it - no, she does not. I don't even think plotting out this AU was part of the deal, she just wanted the trans porn. This would be a stupid straight fic in any other circumstances, but the literal uwu art and the fact it's a pooner makes it a masterpiece.

I'm still wondering how these animals have rights - which means they had to go to court over it.

 

[A Bit Concerning]

Doubleposting to make ping work: I am probably never going to read this story, but I have to know: does the author explicitly state that they have both human and animal ears, as depicted in the fanart?

Because that's awful too. Listen, you can have implausible animal hybrids, that's a style thing and I'll adjust, but you don't get two sets of ears per head unless one of them is a headband. Now it's just egregious!

That isn’t answering the biggest question I have - how does a pooner bunny hybrid find themselves in the military??? And more importantly, how do they find their way into what is essentially the cream of the crop of special forces (I’m going off of my knowledge of the old CoD games, I haven’t played much of the campaigns for the new ones because they’re so boring)

I'm still wondering how these animals have rights - which means they had to go to court over it.

They don’t just have rights, they’ve seemingly been granted some of the highest privileges someone can get (that being serving in a covert NATO military operation to destroy le evil Russians). I think just by writing that I put more thought into the world building then the fic writer and the CoD writers combined though.

 

[3MMA]

fixed that for you

Crossovers can & will be terrifying. Found a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles crossover with some old high fantasy series, the idea was so bizarre that I had to close my browser & take a break from browsing. Didn’t read it, but am still curious if the author managed to harmonize those vastly different IP’s in a way which flowed. I have my doubts, might read it later if I can force myself to give it a serious try.

Most crossover’s are cringeworthy, though there has to be some exceptions somewhere, I just haven’t found any I can remember. However, there are also stories that are terrible on purpose such as parodies & other bad on purpose pieces. I found a fairly ridiculous one, a crossover of the remarkably infamous fan fiction, My Immortal, crossed with Star Wars (Clone Wars to be exact.) Presenting, My Immontral by panakaatthedisco:
Link | Archive


The author tries to stay true to the terrible style & grammar of the original, My Immortal, while blending in Star Wars universe characters & themes. The title is a play on words mixing both series. Laughed at the inclusion of The Max Rebo Band. Below are photos of short scene snippets, though reading the entire thing can be done easily in less than 15 minutes. Likely less than 5.

Spoiler: Scene Screenshots

Ahsoka attends a concert with Lux, to see The Max Rebo Band. She sings.

Lux sings more of The Max Rebo Band to Ahsoka after they get caught after hours. (Just like Dumbledore catching Raven Ebony Dementia Way & Draco Malfoy having sex in the forest after their emo concert in My Immortal. This scene takes place directly after a similar reckoning via Master Yoda.

Lmao. At least the author is in on the joke.

The author was clearly creating a parody, which nominally elevates this attempt. Kinda funny, though unfortunately never finished. Author seems like they’re just out for a laugh. Thanks for sharing, random fanfic author. An interesting homage to notorious fanfic My Immortal & Star Wars. If you’re dying of boredom, give it a try, links in full near the top of the post.

 

[Ayana Otonashi]

Not enough clinically insane fanfics in this thread, I’m here to fix that.

 

[Chandelier]

That isn’t answering the biggest question I have - how does a pooner bunny hybrid find themselves in the military??? And more importantly, how do they find their way into what is essentially the cream of the crop of special forces (I’m going off of my knowledge of the old CoD games, I haven’t played much of the campaigns for the new ones because they’re so boring)

This particular fic is an AU - alternate universe - with some liberties applied. IRL, pooners can join the military now provided they pass the mental and physical tests, same as MTF troons. But for CoD, when these fics are written they are done in a sense the pooner is trying to 'act stealth' when it's pretty fucking obvious they are trans.

The one fic I mentioned ITT, the one by MCraig, has this plot, where Pooner Soap is trying to pass stealth in the military while she inadvertently keeps clocking him as trans by mentioning how small and tiny he is compared to Ghost. Trans authors absolutely hate it when you point this out, even if they don't appear so at face value.

Most crossover’s are cringeworthy, though there has to be some exceptions somewhere, I just haven’t found any I can remember.

There was a great crossover mentioned ITT, 'Thy Good Neighbor'. It's a crossover between GOT and Bloodborne. Very well done. I confess I write a few myself, albeit in fandoms where the lore is compatible.

---

Behold, a werewolf/vampire monsterfucker AU where this time, Ghost has a vagina. From the author trashgavin. This ficlet was posted on Twitter. Archived here.

Spoiler: pissin' and breedin'

Yes, nothing sexier than pissing yourself on the bed and having it stink up the place. Ugh. I have the urge to use some Resolve on the mattress now, as well as a nice helping of vinegar.

Speaking of Bunnypuppy, it got a very curious bookmark number:

And on that MCraig fic, someone cannot into grammar:

 

[teriyakiburns]

View attachment 5835807
Not enough clinically insane fanfics in this thread, I’m here to fix that.

Each tag is worse than the one before.

 

[3MMA]

Yes, nothing sexier than pissing yourself on the bed and having it stink up the place. Ugh. I have the urge to use some Resolve on the mattress now, as well as a nice helping of vinegar.

That was just about the least sexy thing I’ve read in ages. As it always is for these pooner monstrosities. The horrible excuse for dirty talk, allusions of a piss filled vag. Just gross fetish BS. Even had fuckin’ animal tails to pull the reader out of the disgusting moment yet again. It’s so bizarre to see “wet folds etc etc” & then to see “thumb on his cock,” because you have to do a double take, thinking wait, his own cock? No, the author means the pooners clitoris. Fucking troons & poons shitting up archives everywhere with their gross fetish shit. I bet there are ESL’s (English as second language,) everywhere wondering what the fuck the author even means half the time, when the author lies to their readers so readily. Using flash in the pan, situational slang, is not the mark of art that will last forever.

 

[Thiletonomics]

I don't want to know what in the fuck made this writer write these levels of dreck, gonna spoiler tag this due to the VERY ISLAMIC CONTENT:

Spoiler: And VERY ISLAMIC CONTENT is an understatement

Spoiler: And the commenters went all out on that JJK fic

 

[Steve Hightower]

I don't want to know what in the fuck made this writer write this levels of dreck, gonna spoiler tag this due to the VERY ISLAMIC CONTENT:

Spoiler: And VERY ISLAMIC CONTENT is an understatement

View attachment 5843978

View attachment 5843996

The amount of kudos and bookmarks in the second "story" is absolutely horrifying.

 

[Jerry's Magic Ring]

Did fanfiction.net successfully block every archive method from archiving its stories? I was hoping to bring up a story here for shits and giggles, but nothing is working.

I’ve tried Archive.md, Ghost Archive, and even the pozzed Wayback Archive, but all that pops up is the Cloudflare DDoS blocker.

 

[3MMA]

Did fanfiction.net successfully block every archive method from archiving its stories? I was hoping to bring up a story here for shits and giggles, but nothing is working.

I’ve tried Archive.md, Ghost Archive, and even the pozzed Wayback Archive, but all that pops up is the Cloudflare DDoS blocker.

There is some discussion of this in the last 5 pages of the Archival Tools thread in the Lolcow General sub forum. I use FicHub to create archives from sites like fanfiction.net or other random obscure fanfic sites. It works for most, though doesn’t include online archives, just personal copies, though you get good info archived such as authors info, publishing time, entire stories saved, etc. I’m on a constant hunt for a way to archive stories marked private on AO3, where login is required. It’d require the operator of archive.today to make an AO3 account for login purposes, so is out of anyone else’s control. FicHub is the best I’ve found for a quick workaround. Try asking your Q in the Archival Tools thread, archive wizards watch that place & usually have good answers.

 

[Jerry's Magic Ring]

There is some discussion of this in the last 5 pages of the Archival Tools thread in the Lolcow General sub forum. I use FicHub to create archives from sites like fanfiction.net or other random obscure fanfic sites. It works for most, though doesn’t include online archives, just personal copies, though you get good info archived such as authors info, publishing time, entire stories saved, etc. I’m on a constant hunt for a way to archive stories marked private on AO3, where login is required. It’d require the operator of archive.today to make an AO3 account for login purposes, so is out of anyone else’s control. FicHub is the best I’ve found for a quick workaround. Try asking your Q in the Archival Tools thread, archive wizards watch that place & usually have good answers.

FicHub works perfectly for personally archiving stories that I like. The main thing I'm concerned about is that if say, an author gets butthurt over a fanfic being laughed at on the Internet, they could take it down and then claim plausible deniability "ackshually, they were lying because I never wrote it. SEE, SEE, it ain't on my page anymore" if you try to upload it on a burner account. I'll go ask on the thread you mentioned.

 

[Chandelier]

Gotta admit, seeing a 2009 era CoD fic was a blast from the past. Now, with the 2022 MWII, I can at least somewhat extend my disbelief as trans soldiers are allowed to serve provided they fit the mental and physical tests. But 2009 was two years before DADT was repealed, and there were far more restrictions. Have a read of trans Ghost getting fucked on his period, and the trans author needing a content warning for menstruation. Fic archived here.

Spoiler: Period sex

That's right: 2009 era pooner Ghost isn't taking his T shots regularly; or he is, and they simply aren't working. Instead of getting an IUD or some other birth control method, he just free bleeds. Manly.


So very manly to get super nervous to fuck a guy you want. Even now, pooners can't grasp male sexuality.

"Up his dick" - yes, the three inch dick that normal men would be ashamed of having.

I have always said sex dialogue will make or break a fic. 9/10, it will break it. Having people randomly yell makes me think they're playing Tekken or some shit.

Pooners: always called 'little boys' and 'little bonnies' in their own fics, because they really want you to believe they're True and Honest men.

I've never liked the 'moaned like a whore' simile, because whores/prostitutes are usually faking it. Congrats, you get a moan that's rehearsed.

Also, lol at the fact pooner fics always write Soap or Ghost as being good for nothing other than getting fucked.

"Your cunt was made for me"
Does it have an extended warranty? Shit's gonna dry up with T.

Nothing manlier than a pooner suddenly acting shy while getting fucked on their period. Least Soap will get his red wings.

Be sure to use some Resolve once you're done.

Now, for some T4T twitter porn! This user talks about how Ghost feels super upset over getting top surgery, feeling ashamed at the scars. We got you, lil dood!

Spoiler: pity bucks

Contrast this with MTFs who talk about immediately wanting to get fucked in their neo-vaginas. All trans men do is cry. Surely there isn't any source as to why that is?

Transwomen: 'suck my neoclit, you motherfucker.'
Transmen: 'Please ask my permission because I have ouchie scars and I don't want to be hurt.'



*grabs tissue* OMG it's so sad. You just can't tell which one was never a woman.

Here is that T4T sex!

Spoiler: title is actually 'fuck me'

Clits are cocks, straps are cocks. What's new?

Manly. Now, here's a sample from the pooner's actual AO3 account. Turns out, she can't format her paragraphs properly.

Spoiler

Here are some comment she gives for her ABO fic. Turns out, she's a Scot, so the Scottish mannerism in the fic are authentic.


So I thought, 'Hmm, lack of gender correspondence? Let's see if she sticks to that.' And lo and behold:

Spoiler

> Wants to abolish gender norms
> Has the Omega getting fucked by all the alphas

Even though this time around, the Omega has more of a choice, it still boils down to that. It's a fancy harem fic.