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Whenever Oklahoma teenager Nex Benedict was bullied at school for being transgender, their mother Sue Benedict would encourage the 16-year-old to rise above their tormentors.
“I said ‘you’ve got to be strong and look the other way, because these people don’t know who you are’,” Ms Benedict told The Independent in a phone interview.
“I didn’t know how bad it had gotten.”
The bullying had started in earnest at the beginning of the 2023 school year, a few months after Oklahoma governor Kevin Stitt signed a bill that required public school students to use bathrooms that matched the sex listed on their birth certificates.
A few weeks ago, on 7 February, the bullying allegedly erupted in violence when Nex suffered severe head injuries during a “physical altercation” at Owasso High School, according to the Owasso Police Department.
Sue Benedict told The Independent she was called to the school that day to find Nex badly beaten with bruises over their face and eyes, and with scratches on the back of their head.
Nex told her that they and another transgender student at Owasso High School had been in a fight with three older girls in a girls bathroom. Nex was knocked to the ground during the fight and hit their head on the floor, according to their mother.
Ms Benedict said she was furious that the school had failed to call an ambulance or the police. She said the school then informed her Nex was being suspended for two weeks.
She took Nex to the Bailey Medical Center in Owasso for treatment. They spoke to a police school resource officer at the medical facility and were discharged.
That night, Nex went to bed with a sore head and eventually fell asleep while listening to music, Ms Benedict said.
On 8 February, Nex was getting ready to go to Tulsa with Ms Benedict for an appointment when they collapsed in the family living room.
Ms Benedict called an ambulance, and EMT officers arrived to find Nex had stopped breathing. Nex was declared dead that evening in hospital.
In a statement, the Owasso Police Department said they were “conducting a very active and thorough investigation of the time and events that led up to the death of the student”.
Owasso PD spokesperson Nick Boatman told The Independent that police were awaiting the results of toxicology and autopsy reports from the Oklahoma Medical Examiner’s Office before determining whether anyone will be charged.
Mr Boatman said “all charges will be on the table” once a cause of death was confirmed.
In an update on Tuesday 20 February, Mr Boatman said detectives were interviewing school staff and students and would be submitting their investigation to the Tulsa County District Attorney’s Office for prosecution review.
An Owasso Public Schools spokesperson declined to provide information about the assault or the school’s response when contacted by The Independent, citing the active police investigation.
LGBTQ advocacy groups have described Nex’s death as a “hate crime”, and linked it to the “hateful rhetoric spewed by leaders in our state” and the Libs of TikTok account run by far-right social media influencer Chaya Raichik.
Ms Raichik, a New York-based former real estate agent, became a cause celebre among conservatives for using her Libs of TikTok account to post edited, anti-trans videos that target public school teachers and librarians.
An Owasso High School teacher who Nex had greatly admired resigned in 2022 after they were featured in one of Ms Raichik’s posts.
Ms Raichik did not respond to a request for comment by The Independent. On X, she denied any link to the death and said she was unjustly being blamed for a murder.
Ms Benedict is Nex’s biological grandmother, and raised them since they were two months old along with her five other children. She formally adopted Nex a few years ago.
She told The Independent that Nex was always understanding if she used an incorrect pronoun, or called Nex by their birth name.
“Nex did not see themselves as male or female,” Ms Benedict said. “Nex saw themselves right down the middle. I was still learning about it, Nex was teaching me that.”
“When you’re old school, you don’t always understand it,” her husband Walter told The Independent.
“But it would be very boring if we were all the same. It’s on the inside that matters the most.”
The family, who trace part of their roots to the Choctaw Nation, encouraged open discussions about questions of gender and identity.
“I was very open with my children to be who and what they thought was best,” Ms Benedict said.
“They could talk to me about anything, as long as that respect goes both ways. A child needs to figure out who they are and what they want to be, and you cannot force it upon them.”
Nex’s sister Malia Pila, who is also a member of the LGBTQ community, told The Independent in an interview that Nex’s fluid gender identity “was not an issue nor anything that anybody cared about” within the family.
Nex was a straight-A student who enjoyed drawing, reading, playing video games Ark and Minecraft, and was devoted to their cat Zeus, Ms Benedict said.
“I was so proud of Nex. They were going some place, they were so free,” she said.
In April 2022, Owasso High School teacher Tyler Wrynn was featured in a surreptitiously filmed Libs of TikTok post telling students: “If your parents don’t accept you for who you are, f*** them.”
The incident sparked a backlash in the small Oklahoma city of 40,000 residents, and Mr Wrynn resigned from the Owasso Public Schools system.
“Nex was very angry about it,” Ms Benedict said. Ms Benedict said that teachers who encourage debate about gender issues were not promoting sexualised content.
“They’re allowing the students to be who they are.”
Ms Benedict said she first became aware that Nex was being bullied at school in early 2023.
“They’d go straight to their room and put it on their radio, and I’d say ‘OK you gotta decompress for a little bit, and then come out and talk about it’.”
Ms Benedict said she remains furious at the school for failing to call police or seek medical attention for Nex, and wants to see the children who allegedly assaulted Nex punished.
“So many people push kids to be one thing, and you’ve got to let them find themselves and be who they should be,” Ms Benedict said.
“Society has got to see them as they are. Accept them and go on, because we are all people.”
Ms Raichik’s anti-LGBTQ posts have been linked to nearly three dozen threats made towards schools, libraries, hospitals and businesses across 16 states, according to a recent NBC News investigation.
Last month, Oklahoma’s Republican superintendent of public schools Ryan Walters appointed Ms Raichik to the state’s library advisory committee.
Mr Walters has not commented publicly on Nex’s death. He put out a video on X on President’s Day, decrying “radical woke college professors” for placing Donald Trump at the bottom of a list of the United States’ greatest presidents.
“We judge presidents by outcomes not woke ideology,” he said
Freedom Oklahoma, an LGBTQ advocacy group, blamed Oklahoman lawmakers and Ms Raichik for promoting bigotry and intolerance towards trans students after Nex’s death.
The group said that Ms Raichik “continues to use her platform in a way that leads others to threaten real harm at Oklahoma kids”.
“We want to be clear, whether Nex died as a direct result of injuries sustained in the brutal hate-motivated attack at school or not, Nex’s death is a result of being the target of physical and emotional harm because of who Nex was,” the group wrote.
When it came time to place an obituary, Ms Benedict said she had provided Nex’s birth name by accident. This has led to some media coverage of Nex’s death using their birth name, or dead name.
“When you are going through something like this and you lose a child, you’re not thinking right. We’re getting a headstone done and Nex will be on there,” she said.
Nex’s funeral was held at the Mowery Funeral Service on 15 February. After the service, police officers from Owasso and the neighbouring city of Collinsville accompanied members of the local chapter of Bikers Against Child Abuse as they provided an escort from the service to the graveside.
A GoFundme page set up to help with funeral costs has raised $28,000 and Ms Benedict said she plans to donate most of the money to LGBTQ anti-bullying organisations.
“Nex had a light in them that was so big, they had so many dreams. I want their light to keep shining for everyone. That light was so big and bright and beautiful, and I want everyone to remember Nex that way.”
****************************************
OWASSO, Okla. — Sue Benedict, the mother of Nex Benedict, released the following statement on the death of her child on Feb. 20. Here is that statement:
"We at this time are thankful for the ongoing support and did not expect the love from everyone. We are sorry for not using their name correctly and as parents we were still learning the correct forms. Please do not judge us as Nex was judged, please do not bully us for our ignorance on the subject. Nex gave us that respect and we are sorry in our grief that we overlooked them. I lost my child, the headstone will have correct name of their choice. The rest of monies will go to other children dealing with the right to be who they feel they are, in Nex Benedict’s name. God bless."
The Owasso Police Department and Owasso Public Schools also released an update on the investigation into the death of Nex Benedict on social media.
OPD said detectives have, are, and will be interviewing school staff and students over the course of the next two weeks about what led to the student's death. They said once their investigation is complete, findings will be turned over to the Tulsa County District Attorney's Office to determine if charges will be filed.
OPD is also awaiting autopsy reports and toxicology results before releasing more information, they said.
The 16-year-old Owasso student died on Feb. 8 after being rushed to the hospital a second time. The day before, Benedict was involved in a physical altercation at school and was taken to the hospital by their grandmother.
Police said they still don't know if the fight was related to the teen's death or if a separate medical issue was the cause. OPD said the state medical examiner will determine the final cause and manner of death.
"There are laws regarding open records and confidential records and the Owasso Police Department will release all information required by law, but it is the Department’s policy to not release incident reports for cases that are under active investigation when there is risk of compromising or harming the investigation," OPD said.
On Feb. 20, Owasso Public Schools released details about their policies and protocols as well as the fight that occurred on Feb. 7.
The school said a fight started in the bathroom at the Owasso High School West Campus. The students were in the bathroom for less than two minutes before other students and a staff member broke it up.
According to OPS, district administrators took statements and called the parents/guardians for all of the students involved.
The school said all of the students walked to the principal's office and nurse's office on their own. All were checked out by the on-site nurse and were evaluated for their injuries. It was determined that none of the injuries required an ambulance, according to the school.
However, school officials recommended that out of an abundance of caution, one student go to an off-site medical professional for further evaluation.
The school is still offering counseling services for students and staff. They said they were working with police during this investigation.
OPS said, "The loss of a student, a member of the Ram Family and the Owasso community, is devastating. We recognize the impact that this event has had on the entire school community and it is our priority to foster an environment where everyone feels heard, supported, and safe. If there is ever a concern about student safety or well-being, please reach out to a teacher, counselor or principal at your child’s school. As we continue to mourn the loss of this student, our hearts go out to their family and they will continue to be in our prayers. We are here to support them and everyone who has been affected by this situation."
Here is the statement from Owasso Public Schools:
"She was tough, but a great kid," mother Sue Benedict said at the funeral service. "I loved Dagny so much."
Memorial donations can be made in memory of Benedict to Bikers Against Child Abuse or this GoFundMe page.
supplementary local coverage/archive
Whenever Oklahoma teenager Nex Benedict was bullied at school for being transgender, their mother Sue Benedict would encourage the 16-year-old to rise above their tormentors.
“I said ‘you’ve got to be strong and look the other way, because these people don’t know who you are’,” Ms Benedict told The Independent in a phone interview.
“I didn’t know how bad it had gotten.”
The bullying had started in earnest at the beginning of the 2023 school year, a few months after Oklahoma governor Kevin Stitt signed a bill that required public school students to use bathrooms that matched the sex listed on their birth certificates.
A few weeks ago, on 7 February, the bullying allegedly erupted in violence when Nex suffered severe head injuries during a “physical altercation” at Owasso High School, according to the Owasso Police Department.
Sue Benedict told The Independent she was called to the school that day to find Nex badly beaten with bruises over their face and eyes, and with scratches on the back of their head.
Nex told her that they and another transgender student at Owasso High School had been in a fight with three older girls in a girls bathroom. Nex was knocked to the ground during the fight and hit their head on the floor, according to their mother.
Ms Benedict said she was furious that the school had failed to call an ambulance or the police. She said the school then informed her Nex was being suspended for two weeks.
She took Nex to the Bailey Medical Center in Owasso for treatment. They spoke to a police school resource officer at the medical facility and were discharged.
That night, Nex went to bed with a sore head and eventually fell asleep while listening to music, Ms Benedict said.
On 8 February, Nex was getting ready to go to Tulsa with Ms Benedict for an appointment when they collapsed in the family living room.
Ms Benedict called an ambulance, and EMT officers arrived to find Nex had stopped breathing. Nex was declared dead that evening in hospital.
In a statement, the Owasso Police Department said they were “conducting a very active and thorough investigation of the time and events that led up to the death of the student”.
Owasso PD spokesperson Nick Boatman told The Independent that police were awaiting the results of toxicology and autopsy reports from the Oklahoma Medical Examiner’s Office before determining whether anyone will be charged.
Mr Boatman said “all charges will be on the table” once a cause of death was confirmed.
In an update on Tuesday 20 February, Mr Boatman said detectives were interviewing school staff and students and would be submitting their investigation to the Tulsa County District Attorney’s Office for prosecution review.
An Owasso Public Schools spokesperson declined to provide information about the assault or the school’s response when contacted by The Independent, citing the active police investigation.
LGBTQ advocacy groups have described Nex’s death as a “hate crime”, and linked it to the “hateful rhetoric spewed by leaders in our state” and the Libs of TikTok account run by far-right social media influencer Chaya Raichik.
Ms Raichik, a New York-based former real estate agent, became a cause celebre among conservatives for using her Libs of TikTok account to post edited, anti-trans videos that target public school teachers and librarians.
An Owasso High School teacher who Nex had greatly admired resigned in 2022 after they were featured in one of Ms Raichik’s posts.
Ms Raichik did not respond to a request for comment by The Independent. On X, she denied any link to the death and said she was unjustly being blamed for a murder.
‘When you’re old school, you don’t always understand it’
Like many parents, Sue Benedict and her husband Walter at times struggled to understand the nuances of Nex’s gender fluidity.Ms Benedict is Nex’s biological grandmother, and raised them since they were two months old along with her five other children. She formally adopted Nex a few years ago.
She told The Independent that Nex was always understanding if she used an incorrect pronoun, or called Nex by their birth name.
“Nex did not see themselves as male or female,” Ms Benedict said. “Nex saw themselves right down the middle. I was still learning about it, Nex was teaching me that.”
“When you’re old school, you don’t always understand it,” her husband Walter told The Independent.
“But it would be very boring if we were all the same. It’s on the inside that matters the most.”
The family, who trace part of their roots to the Choctaw Nation, encouraged open discussions about questions of gender and identity.
“I was very open with my children to be who and what they thought was best,” Ms Benedict said.
“They could talk to me about anything, as long as that respect goes both ways. A child needs to figure out who they are and what they want to be, and you cannot force it upon them.”
Nex’s sister Malia Pila, who is also a member of the LGBTQ community, told The Independent in an interview that Nex’s fluid gender identity “was not an issue nor anything that anybody cared about” within the family.
Nex was a straight-A student who enjoyed drawing, reading, playing video games Ark and Minecraft, and was devoted to their cat Zeus, Ms Benedict said.
“I was so proud of Nex. They were going some place, they were so free,” she said.
In April 2022, Owasso High School teacher Tyler Wrynn was featured in a surreptitiously filmed Libs of TikTok post telling students: “If your parents don’t accept you for who you are, f*** them.”
The incident sparked a backlash in the small Oklahoma city of 40,000 residents, and Mr Wrynn resigned from the Owasso Public Schools system.
“Nex was very angry about it,” Ms Benedict said. Ms Benedict said that teachers who encourage debate about gender issues were not promoting sexualised content.
“They’re allowing the students to be who they are.”
Ms Benedict said she first became aware that Nex was being bullied at school in early 2023.
“They’d go straight to their room and put it on their radio, and I’d say ‘OK you gotta decompress for a little bit, and then come out and talk about it’.”
Ms Benedict said she remains furious at the school for failing to call police or seek medical attention for Nex, and wants to see the children who allegedly assaulted Nex punished.
“So many people push kids to be one thing, and you’ve got to let them find themselves and be who they should be,” Ms Benedict said.
“Society has got to see them as they are. Accept them and go on, because we are all people.”
‘Woke ideology’
Last August, a Libs of TikTok post showing an edited video critical of a public school librarian in Tulsa led to several consecutive days of bomb threats to schools in the district.Ms Raichik’s anti-LGBTQ posts have been linked to nearly three dozen threats made towards schools, libraries, hospitals and businesses across 16 states, according to a recent NBC News investigation.
Last month, Oklahoma’s Republican superintendent of public schools Ryan Walters appointed Ms Raichik to the state’s library advisory committee.
Mr Walters has not commented publicly on Nex’s death. He put out a video on X on President’s Day, decrying “radical woke college professors” for placing Donald Trump at the bottom of a list of the United States’ greatest presidents.
“We judge presidents by outcomes not woke ideology,” he said
Freedom Oklahoma, an LGBTQ advocacy group, blamed Oklahoman lawmakers and Ms Raichik for promoting bigotry and intolerance towards trans students after Nex’s death.
The group said that Ms Raichik “continues to use her platform in a way that leads others to threaten real harm at Oklahoma kids”.
“We want to be clear, whether Nex died as a direct result of injuries sustained in the brutal hate-motivated attack at school or not, Nex’s death is a result of being the target of physical and emotional harm because of who Nex was,” the group wrote.
‘Nex had a light in them that was so big’
Since Nex’s death, Ms Benedict said she had barely slept and been “walking in a blur”.When it came time to place an obituary, Ms Benedict said she had provided Nex’s birth name by accident. This has led to some media coverage of Nex’s death using their birth name, or dead name.
“When you are going through something like this and you lose a child, you’re not thinking right. We’re getting a headstone done and Nex will be on there,” she said.
Nex’s funeral was held at the Mowery Funeral Service on 15 February. After the service, police officers from Owasso and the neighbouring city of Collinsville accompanied members of the local chapter of Bikers Against Child Abuse as they provided an escort from the service to the graveside.
A GoFundme page set up to help with funeral costs has raised $28,000 and Ms Benedict said she plans to donate most of the money to LGBTQ anti-bullying organisations.
“Nex had a light in them that was so big, they had so many dreams. I want their light to keep shining for everyone. That light was so big and bright and beautiful, and I want everyone to remember Nex that way.”
****************************************
OWASSO, Okla. — Sue Benedict, the mother of Nex Benedict, released the following statement on the death of her child on Feb. 20. Here is that statement:
"We at this time are thankful for the ongoing support and did not expect the love from everyone. We are sorry for not using their name correctly and as parents we were still learning the correct forms. Please do not judge us as Nex was judged, please do not bully us for our ignorance on the subject. Nex gave us that respect and we are sorry in our grief that we overlooked them. I lost my child, the headstone will have correct name of their choice. The rest of monies will go to other children dealing with the right to be who they feel they are, in Nex Benedict’s name. God bless."
The Owasso Police Department and Owasso Public Schools also released an update on the investigation into the death of Nex Benedict on social media.
OPD said detectives have, are, and will be interviewing school staff and students over the course of the next two weeks about what led to the student's death. They said once their investigation is complete, findings will be turned over to the Tulsa County District Attorney's Office to determine if charges will be filed.
OPD is also awaiting autopsy reports and toxicology results before releasing more information, they said.
The 16-year-old Owasso student died on Feb. 8 after being rushed to the hospital a second time. The day before, Benedict was involved in a physical altercation at school and was taken to the hospital by their grandmother.
- Previous coverage >>> 16-year-old Owasso student laid to rest after unexpected death
Police said they still don't know if the fight was related to the teen's death or if a separate medical issue was the cause. OPD said the state medical examiner will determine the final cause and manner of death.
"There are laws regarding open records and confidential records and the Owasso Police Department will release all information required by law, but it is the Department’s policy to not release incident reports for cases that are under active investigation when there is risk of compromising or harming the investigation," OPD said.
On Feb. 20, Owasso Public Schools released details about their policies and protocols as well as the fight that occurred on Feb. 7.
The school said a fight started in the bathroom at the Owasso High School West Campus. The students were in the bathroom for less than two minutes before other students and a staff member broke it up.
According to OPS, district administrators took statements and called the parents/guardians for all of the students involved.
The school said all of the students walked to the principal's office and nurse's office on their own. All were checked out by the on-site nurse and were evaluated for their injuries. It was determined that none of the injuries required an ambulance, according to the school.
However, school officials recommended that out of an abundance of caution, one student go to an off-site medical professional for further evaluation.
The school is still offering counseling services for students and staff. They said they were working with police during this investigation.
OPS said, "The loss of a student, a member of the Ram Family and the Owasso community, is devastating. We recognize the impact that this event has had on the entire school community and it is our priority to foster an environment where everyone feels heard, supported, and safe. If there is ever a concern about student safety or well-being, please reach out to a teacher, counselor or principal at your child’s school. As we continue to mourn the loss of this student, our hearts go out to their family and they will continue to be in our prayers. We are here to support them and everyone who has been affected by this situation."
Here is the statement from Owasso Public Schools:
Benedict's mother said Benedict was an animal lover - especially with pet Zeus, the cat. Family said Benedict loved to cook and would often make up recipes. Benedict was also a straight-A student.Owasso Public Schools has cooperated fully with the investigation by the Owasso Police Department surrounding the death of a high school student on February 8, 2024. The district has limited its statements on the matter to this point due to the on-going investigation in an effort to not disrupt police, and out of respect and for the confidentiality for all involved.
However, the speculation and misinformation surrounding the case has intensified in recent days. While there will still be pieces of information that the district will never be able to share due to federal privacy laws, we are reaching out to you today to address some of that misinformation, particularly statements that call into question the district’s commitment to student safety & security. We understand the importance of ensuring a safe and inclusive environment for all students and know that the information below doesn’t change the facts that a fight occurred on school grounds and a student passed away the next day.
We have worked with police to ensure that the information provided below will not disrupt their investigation.
We understand that for many, additional questions remain, however these are the facts that we are able to communicate at this juncture. We will continue to cooperate fully with the Owasso Police Department’s investigation.
- On the afternoon of Wednesday, February 7, 2024, a physical altercation occurred in a restroom at the Owasso High School West Campus.
- Students were in the restroom for less than two (2) minutes and the physical altercation was broken up by other students who were present in the restroom at the time, along with a staff member who was supervising outside of the restroom.
- Once the altercation was broken up, all students involved in the altercation walked under their own power to the assistant principal’s office and nurse’s office.
- District administrators began taking statements from the students present in the restroom and began contacting parents/guardians of the students involved in the physical altercation.
- Following district protocols, each of the students involved in the altercation was given a health assessment by a district registered nurse. Per district protocols, students needing further support are transported to a medical facility either by ambulance or by a parent/guardian, depending on the severity of the injuries and preference of the parent/guardian.
- While it was determined that ambulance service was not required, out of an abundance of caution, it was recommended to one parent that their student visit a medical facility for further examination.
- Per district protocols, the parents/guardians of students involved in a physical altercation are notified and informed of the option to file a police report should they choose. Should they choose to file a police report, school resource officers are made available to the parents/guardians either at that time or they can schedule an appointment, if they choose, at a later date. These practices were followed during this incident.
- Physical altercations between students are unacceptable. Any student/s engaging in such action, jeopardizing the safety of others, will receive disciplinary consequences. These consequences can include out of school suspension for first offense. Due to federal privacy laws, we are unable to disclose the exact nature of disciplinary action taken against any student. That information can only be given to the parents/guardians of the student being disciplined. Any notion that the district has ignored disciplinary action toward those involved is simply untrue.
- Additional counseling services were provided to students at the high school on Friday, February 9, and continue to be available for all students & staff.
The loss of a student, a member of the Ram Family and the Owasso community, is devastating. We recognize the impact that this event has had on the entire school community and it is our priority to foster an environment where everyone feels heard, supported, and safe. If there is ever a concern about student safety or well-being, please reach out to a teacher, counselor or principal at your child’s school. As we continue to mourn the loss of this student, our hearts go out to their family and they will continue to be in our prayers. We are here to support them and everyone who has been affected by this situation.
"She was tough, but a great kid," mother Sue Benedict said at the funeral service. "I loved Dagny so much."
Memorial donations can be made in memory of Benedict to Bikers Against Child Abuse or this GoFundMe page.
