Are you lost needing femoid advice post here - For the poor bastard's who dare or are just curious

[Foxymophandlemama]

How do I, for lack of a better term, “jazz myself up” to date again? I had a pretty serious relationship that ended a good 18 months ago that I’m still processing, and I’m finding it hard to actually motivate myself to put myself out there again. Even envisioning a relationship I just end up thinking about the past and I struggle to imagine any future could live up to what I experienced.

I know I’m not really emotionally available, but if I can just even get myself to go on friendly dates and talk to new people, I can pull myself out of this funk, but getting myself over that first hurdle is proving difficult. Idk, I just wanna be less lonely than I have the last few months, but I’m not doing what I need to.

I don't think you need to go back to the dating scene per se, you just said you're not really emotionally available. What you need is just... Get distracted. Do you have a good group of friends? Or just a really good friend?
I remember when I got through a bad break up and didn't want to date anyone. My friends would just take me to do random stuff, go to the movies, go to parties or just sit at home chatting. In those, I met new people but didn't really go to any dates as I wasn't ready. But God it was so nice to have a change of air and see the people I loved and have some carefree laughs. It really does help.
So to jazz yourself up is to just... Heal from what is hurting you by doing other stuff, at least in my experience. With time the pain will start to go away and you will feel lighter.

 

[Anti Snigger]

Do you have a good group of friends? Or just a really good friend?

She was my best friend of about a decade prior, so no, not really lol

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

She was my best friend of about a decade prior, so no, not really lol

That's though buddy, I know how you feel, truly do.
But still, do you have any other friends? Maybe someone that you are familiar with and haven't seen for a while, but enjoy their company. Making the first move to text "hey, wanna get some coffee?" or something like that is hard and embarrassing but sometimes is so worth it.
If there isn't someone else, do like a lot of people have suggested here before and find a hobby/find a community for the one you already have. It's easier to strike up a conversation when you have something in common.

 

[JamusActimus]

I know I’m not really emotionally available, but if I can just even get myself to go on friendly dates and talk to new people

Do you have that problem with everyone or only women?

I get the feeling you're feeling down and bit depressed in general because of the break up and that it's not fully future date related.

Also it's perfectly fine to not want or be able to date. I know you have been in a long term relationship for a while but you can be single for a bit it's fine, take your time.

 

[Anti Snigger]

That's though buddy, I know how you feel, truly do.
But still, do you have any other friends? Maybe someone that you are familiar with and haven't seen for a while, but enjoy their company. Making the first move to text "hey, wanna get some coffee?" or something like that is hard and embarrassing but sometimes is so worth it.
If there isn't someone else, do like a lot of people have suggested here before and find a hobby/find a community for the one you already have. It's easier to strike up a conversation when you have something in common.

I can try, but I'm a massive STEM sperg, my hobbies, studies, and work all involve the same things. It's hard for me to relate to people because I just have an extremely narrow focus

Do you have that problem with everyone or only women?

I get the feeling you're feeling down and bit depressed in general because of the break up and that it's not fully future date related.

Also it's perfectly fine to not want or be able to date. I know you have been in a long term relationship for a while but you can be single for a bit it's fine, take your time.

Probably tbh. I just worry I'll take too much time and won't be able to get back out there

 

[JamusActimus]

Probably tbh. I just worry I'll take too much time and won't be able to get back out there

Take the time you need to heal.

Once you're ready, you and the world will know.

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

I can try, but I'm a massive STEM sperg, my hobbies, studies, and work all involve the same things. It's hard for me to relate to people because I just have an extremely narrow focus

Well, if you're willingly to try that's a start. And if it doesn't work out don't beat yourself up too. But I doubt that even in that area there isn't someone who is up to a small talk (well I'm just making assumptions because I'm involved in arts lmao).

Probably tbh. I just worry I'll take too much time and won't be able to get back out there

Hey, take your time. Rushing yourself to do things you aren't prepared for can be damaging. Like I said before, do things that will help you heal. No isolation, no falling into self pity or anything. Don't let this worry paralyze you too.

 

[Maori Kiwifruit Growers]

So ladies I need your help. I got an old kenwood sewing machine from like the 1970s for free (it has all the attachments the owner never used it) but I have no idea how to thread it nor do I know where to get the manual for free. I only find it on sketchy websites and I'm poor af. Please help I need to sew something

 

[Perceptron]

Here's a weird question but I think it's important. How can I be more supportive for my partner and her health issues?

My girlfriend has a bunch of health problems, headaches, chemical imbalances, body temperature regulation, all that kinda stuff. She's really sweet and I love her and all that but sometimes her health stuff can be a handful and kinda depressing. She tells me about it all the time.

I just wanna know a good way I can deal with it, because I feel like if i don't adapt to it I can't make things work between us. I really really like her but it's just that sometimes hearing about her health stuff makes me feel worried and helpless on her behalf.

What do you suggest?

All jokes aside, I think just asking her what you can do is solid advice. She might just be venting to you because it really sucks to be young and ill, and it's also really hard to see a loved one suffer. Just be aware that a lot of times the most helpful thing you can do is, well, be there and listen.

Another thing you can do (if you want, anyway) is ask about her condition and what the treatment is, and figure out what is missing that is making her feel sick, what's the outlook for it long term. I know with endocrinology stuff there's usually relatively effective treatments but it can take a while to find the right dose or intervention. Just knowing what the plans are and what is missing/what you're working towards might make you (and her?) feel less helpless.

Spoiler: Heat intolerance sperg

I don't want to PL too much but I do have some experience dealing with someone close to me having severe heat intolerance due to multiple sclerosis. It helps a lot to be mindful of it without making a huge deal. It became a common occurrence to pack lots of ice and iced water in a little insulated lunch box, you can find lots of nice ice packs or cold packs in different sizes. When outdoors every once in a while I would suggest a short cold break in the shade with ice packs and ice water. I find some ill people will want to power through stuff so they're unlikely to ask for breaks or accommodation. Portable fans look goofy but can help too.

 

[cia-log]

So ladies I need your help. I got an old kenwood sewing machine from like the 1970s for free (it has all the attachments the owner never used it) but I have no idea how to thread it nor do I know where to get the manual for free. I only find it on sketchy websites and I'm poor af. Please help I need to sew something

What's the model? You might be able to find video tutorials, if not of that specific model then similar enough designs to get the hang of it. It's what I did.

 

[Sonic]

my pick up artist told me

We can always tell when men hire pick up artists or pay for "self-help" programs specifically designed to get rhem laid. It doesn't work, you are embarrassing yourself and everyone around you, it's a red flag indicating that you're stunted/autistic/mentally ill/geneticly inferior, and it's incredibly effeminate and weak. Stop wasting your money.

Any decent shampoo/conditioner recommendations? I use head and shoulders and it leaves my hair nice and soft, but I get a shit ton of split ends

Use literally anything else you can find at a store that isn't the dollar store. You are only supposed to use head and shoulders temporarily to get rid of dandruff.

 

[Tragon Dirtle]

So ladies I need your help. I got an old kenwood sewing machine from like the 1970s for free (it has all the attachments the owner never used it) but I have no idea how to thread it nor do I know where to get the manual for free. I only find it on sketchy websites and I'm poor af. Please help I need to sew something

You rarely need any attachments tbh, 90% of your sewing going to be basic straight stitch, zigzag stitch for knits, and a zipper foot & buttonholer. What are you making? what specific problem is stopping you from getting started? you're going to need to do a test run on a piece of scrap fabric anyway to check tension.

Ladies, can you rewear sports bras over multiple work out sessions, and if yes, how many? I need to know whether I need to buy more than one.

 

[Maori Kiwifruit Growers]

You rarely need any attachments tbh, 90% of your sewing going to be basic straight stitch, zigzag stitch for knits, and a zipper foot & buttonholer. What are you making? what specific problem is stopping you from getting started? you're going to need to do a test run on a piece of scrap fabric anyway to check tension.

Basic stuff to start out (pillows, laptop bags knife wraps etc) its just an older machine so I have no idea what I am looking at, it does have solid metal internals so I know it can withstand a lot of abuse.

Ladies, can you rewear sports bras over multiple work out sessions, and if yes, how many? I need to know whether I need to buy more than one.

Why are you asking?

 

[Cuban Pete]

This thread has been a helpfully informative man to man

 

[Diver Down]

Any decent shampoo/conditioner recommendations? I use head and shoulders and it leaves my hair nice and soft, but I get a shit ton of split ends

Any antifungal for dandruff. Just find the one relevant for your country/location. Look for a shampoo with Ketoconazole. The one for the US is Nizoral iirc. Use it with every hair wash for about a month, then weekly (lather, then let it sit for 15 minutes). Head & Shoulders is a spook.
For shampoo check out any that don't have silicones in them. You should be able to find that easily enough. I like using ones based on coconut oil.
I'm looking for a new conditioner myself, since Tresemme changed their Botanique formula. The new formula is still ok, but not as good as it used to be.
For split ends you can try putting argan oil/coconut oil in you hair about an hour before washing it. A little will go a long way,
If you want to go all the way, you can try something called a "leave-in conditioner". It's pretty self-explanatory.

Don't forget that your type of hair (thick, thin, dry, greasy, curly, straight, ...) can also influence whether to brush when dry or wet and whether to blow dry at all.

 

[Tragon Dirtle]

Basic stuff to start out (pillows, laptop bags knife wraps etc) its just an older machine so I have no idea what I am looking at, it does have solid metal internals so I know it can withstand a lot of abuse.


Why are you asking?

so that I can figure out whether I need to buy more than one if I want to go to the gym more than once a week?

is it threading it / adding the bobbin that you're unfamiliar with? it's pretty standard across all machines so youtube should be fine.

 

[pork and beans]

Ladies, can you rewear sports bras over multiple work out sessions

At least, think of it like a shirt; if you wouldnt reuse a shirt after a work out then you won't want to reuse the bra either. But you're gonna want to change your bra more than your shirts lol. If you want to rewear it you have to know yourself (some people sweat more than others) and the activity you are doing (Cardio makes you waaaay more sweaty than weightlifting).

If you have small breasts I recommend you ditch the sport top and wear a normal bra instead because sports bras get sweaty really quickly due to the material they're made of and how tight/fitted they are. So unless you are doing cardio or some activity where you really need the support, its not that worth it.

You can get a bundle of about 3 or 5 good sport tops/bras for super cheap online, honestly get that and you will always have a clean one on hand and never have to worry.

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

Ladies, can you rewear sports bras over multiple work out sessions, and if yes, how many? I need to know whether I need to buy more than one.

The ideal is to wash it every use, so you wear once, wash it, wear again. I would say 3 sports bra are enough.

 

[Maori Kiwifruit Growers]

so that I can figure out whether I need to buy more than one if I want to go to the gym more than once a week?

is it threading it / adding the bobbin that you're unfamiliar with? it's pretty standard across all machines so youtube should be fine.

both? it is a bobbin that goes on the side under the dogs and I just have no idea what I am doing

 

[Twilight Twill*^]

Any decent shampoo/conditioner recommendations? I use head and shoulders and it leaves my hair nice and soft, but I get a shit ton of split ends

Try looking into Artnaturals' Tea Tree Oil or Coal tar shampoo plus their conditioner with Jojoba Oil. As a bonus get some coconut oil and rub it into our hair and scalp 2-3x a week and especially before you wash your hair.