DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[00R-Gundam]

I have a serious question.

In dsp case since he has, ill assume, no savings nor does he has some sort of retirement benefit. How the fuck someone like him even survive when he is elderly? Like all hes done is stream which in my book aint a job. He doesnt have any job skills that would be useful in today's workplace. Does the government offer fuck ups like dsp assistance when hes up there in age or do they leave him to rot in his own shit and wait to foreclosure and take back what they are owed?

Apologies if i sound ignorant, but i have never even cotemplated such future like that until today. Cant visualize a future whete i dont have a retirement nor are my savings 0

 

[Cyber Bowling]

I have a serious question.

In dsp case since he has, ill assume, no savings nor does he has some sort of retirement benefit. How the fuck someone like him even survive when he is elderly? Like all hes done is stream which in my book aint a job. He doesnt have any job skills that would be useful in today's workplace. Does the government offer fuck ups like dsp assistance when hes up there in age or do they leave him to rot in his own shit and wait to foreclosure and take back what they are owed?

Apologies if i sound ignorant, but i have never even cotemplated such future like that until today. Cant visualize a future whete i dont have a retirement nor are my savings 0

Short answer: He doesn't

Long answer: Idk, there's probably some sort of welfare services he can lean on to continue limping by. Since he managed to get his bankruptcy approved, he could probably muster up the energy to apply for those.

Longer answer with Phil speculation: Phil obviously doesn't put much thought into the future, but I think this sums up his general mindframe:

He's banking on when his parents finally die, he's getting all their money and they'll always save him if anything bad happens before that.

It lets him use his usual Phil logic if "I'll get money in the future." It's why he spends his tips right away, because he knows he's getting a YouTube check at the end of the month he can use to pay his bills. I don't think he's ever put much real thought into things like "how much do I get when my parents die" or even the basic "what will my monthly expenses look like compared to that income". He just knows he's getting money, and that's all that matters. We've seen how Phil handles "what if" questions from his chat, he really is too stupid to consider most things that aren't directly happening to him right in that moment, so until he faces a real financial emergency, he'll never try and plan around it.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

He doesnt have any job skills that would be useful in today's workplace. Does the government offer fuck ups like dsp assistance when hes up there in age or do they leave him to rot in his own shit and wait to foreclosure and take back what they are owed?

Job skills? Fuck no! Phil has been fired from every job he's had minus one. Which job was that? Phil called it a "health food store" in a mall Phil used to go in all the time, but it was a salad bar. He quit that job once he graduated from college. He was a mortgage processor at Wells Fargo, got fired from that, he worked at Best Buy, got fired from that, and fired from the helicopter company his dad got him hired on. Phil has ZERO job skills that don't correlate to entry level, low end customer service like a call center representative, or retail.

The government expects you to have some form of retirement plan such as a 401K, Roth, or state pension you paid during your working years, while if you get to see 70 years old, you'll get $900 a month for Social Security, so no. The government doesn't give two shits about you and your ills...it's "Fuck you, pay me!" As far as a job, Phil is stuck in his current role until the day he dies...however, Phil is what I like to call the "long term looker". Meaning, he waits until it's time to strike. His retirement plan is his parents dying, well, they actually died like death certificate and proof of obituary died, not this "I had to lie to protect my family" so I can marry some bitch I barely talk to kind of death. That's Phil goal.

Anything else like "finding a real job", his job is to waddle around his mature adult house, in those Zelda pajama pants, wearing a button down t-shirt he found at Goodwill he bought for a few bucks to come off as "mature", talking about how hard his life is and how good things used to be. Basically, he's a unlikable Al Bundy, but unlike Al Bundy, who scored 4 touchdowns in a single game, Phil hates sports and never played them...because his back, dood.

 

[Corpun]

In dsp case since he has, ill assume, no savings nor does he has some sort of retirement benefit. How the fuck someone like him even survive when he is elderly? Like all hes done is stream which in my book aint a job. He doesnt have any job skills that would be useful in today's workplace. Does the government offer fuck ups like dsp assistance when hes up there in age or do they leave him to rot in his own shit and wait to foreclosure and take back what they are owed?

He has no savings. Bank leaks and bankruptcy prove that everything he gets in a day is gone by the end of the week at best. He has no actual plan for the future, it's out of his mental capacity to think about any potential issues. DSP has the financial literacy of a 5 year old and that is why he is always shooting himself in the foot over every little hurdle.

If for whatever reason Washington State had a week long power outage, he would be destitute. If it was a month, he is going to be homeless. DSP seems to think any major expaenses can just be shoved onto whatever credit cards he probably has right now or will get in the future, which is what he has always done. Don't forget this retard maxed out 13 credit cards, and before that was in insane amounts of debt from using them to travel to SF tourneys back in the day. He has no plan for the future, nothing in emergency savings.

And if he croaks his beloved wife he loves so much is fucked. DSP seems to think she can just go into a nursing home or something for some dumb reason, even though those things are a massive scam and cost an arm and a leg to get in the front door in the first place (Ignoring how badly he views his waif that he thinks a nursing home is a good life).

EDIT: Poster above reminded me. DSP cashed out his 401k years ago for no fucking reason other than laziness and wanting the money now. I think his official excuse was that he was worried about the economy but a guy with a finance degree should know you don't touch that shit until you retire. On top of this, he paid a shit ton of interest and fees to open it early.

So TLDR, if/when shit goes tits up, Phil is fucked.

The honest answer is the same one I've given before: trolls, his total lack of value to an employer, or his extensive public history would get him fired/never hired to begin with. Whatever company was so unfortunate as to hire Phil would last about a single day before everyone found out The Guy worked there. His co-workers/bosses/company's Twitter would constantly be getting sent clips of him being racist/gross/retarded. No business in the the US would consider him worth hiring based solely on the absolute shit hurricane that would follow him.

On top of all of that, he has zero job skills, he's lazy, unable to socialize, and probably a lot of other occupational negatives that I wouldn't know unless I actually met him in person. Even the lowest of low end service jobs wouldn't deal with him. He is stuck doing what he is doing until he dies.

And when he comes back from the job he would bitch and moan and probably break some sort of disclosure agreements by badmouthing his boss or coworkers for no fucking reason.

 

[Keith the Horse Fucker]

I have a serious question.

In dsp case since he has, ill assume, no savings nor does he has some sort of retirement benefit. How the fuck someone like him even survive when he is elderly? Like all hes done is stream which in my book aint a job. He doesnt have any job skills that would be useful in today's workplace. Does the government offer fuck ups like dsp assistance when hes up there in age or do they leave him to rot in his own shit and wait to foreclosure and take back what they are owed?

Apologies if i sound ignorant, but i have never even cotemplated such future like that until today. Cant visualize a future whete i dont have a retirement nor are my savings 0

He has all but said he demands the dents support him forever. The problem is dents dont tend to live to be old and he is having trouble replacing them with fresh dent blood

 

[FamicomGorby]

I have a serious question.

In dsp case since he has, ill assume, no savings nor does he has some sort of retirement benefit. How the fuck someone like him even survive when he is elderly? Like all hes done is stream which in my book aint a job. He doesnt have any job skills that would be useful in today's workplace. Does the government offer fuck ups like dsp assistance when hes up there in age or do they leave him to rot in his own shit and wait to foreclosure and take back what they are owed?

Apologies if i sound ignorant, but i have never even cotemplated such future like that until today. Cant visualize a future whete i dont have a retirement nor are my savings 0

Assuming social security doesn't collapse in the next 26 years he'll get access to that. It's come up before and based on Phil's income of a $100K he could expect about $3,000 a month in today's money from SS, $4500 with Kat. If Phil's desperate he could take the benefit early and get substantially less.

If Phil wanted to salvage his future the smart thing to do would be to sell the WAkahndo. Use the equity he's built up to pay off his tax debts and anything else he's accrued as well as give him a starter for retirement savings. Then he can move to a low cost of living state like Arkansas(he could live right next to Boogie) or something and buy a small house. Then he'd have to start plugging away money into a 401k or IRA, like at least 20~30% of his income, stop buying door dash, and stop spending money on WWE champions. Of course none of that will ever happen and more likely Phil is just gonna die of a heart attack on stream while blowing bubbles and wearing a silver vest and nazi hat.

Phil's said on multiple occasions that his plan is to refinance the Wakahndo, as soon as a bank will let him after the bankruptcy, so he can get access to the equity so he can pay off debts and presumably so he can also have a pile of money.

 

[Iron Father]

I don't think he's even good enough for retail management, I've seen it mentioned a week ago or so but the only job other than apparatchik politician that he could do is as a low level manager in a sales department because he fits the profile to a T (RIP). He can spend the entire morning berating the sales reps under him, dragooning them into making more and more sales, yelling about how "we" have to do better and hit the ever increasing sales targets but it's "you" fucking everything up, then just retreat to his office where he'll spend most of the day pulling in WWE Champions. Every so often while his energy bar in WWE Champions is recharging he'd stand his lazy ass up to check up on the poor souls that are under him so he can micromanage and berate them some more.

I think you're forgetting what a complete bitch he is in real life, and his rants only work against the Jaydes of the world where he can hide behind a block button.

Never underestimate a coward on a power trip.

 

[Tom Went To The Mayor]

Phil with the AI voice over will always be funny

X

What program/website does that? I've seen a clip in one of Ludwig's(I think)videos where it was Phil ranting and saying "Go fuck yourself" in a little kid voice and was it so damn funny.

 

[marlintan]

I think his official excuse was that he was worried about the economy but a guy with a finance degree should know you don't touch that shit until you retire.

Plenty of folks took out of their IRA / 401k during the pandemic, as there were hardship exemptions allowed by the IRS, but I understand that is a wholly different case than DSP wanting to travel to SF2ST tournaments around the US. I know several people that had to take out around ten grand out of their retirement savings to make it through COVID...

EDIT: @Whaler @FamicomGorby

Part of his federal back tax payment plan for going on 5 years includes Social Security, you don't get an option to not pay it along with your FICA, Medicaid, etc.

https://www.irs.gov/individuals/social-security-benefits-eligible-for-the-federal-payment-levy-program

 

[Whaler]

Assuming social security doesn't collapse in the next 26 years he'll get access to that. It's come up before and based on Phil's income of a $100K he could expect about $3,000 a month in today's money from SS, $4500 with Kat. If Phil's desperate he could take the benefit early and get substantially less.

You really think Phil has been paying into Social Security? His game plan is to die before he gets too old to stream or can't survive on the donations he gets any longer.

 

[JimiHendrix]

i think dragon's dogma might be a very interesting playthrough for the fat boy. i won't be writing on it since we just wrapped up the BG3 thread, which was a 3 month ordeal, but I will definitely be watching.

 

[FamicomGorby]

You really think Phil has been paying into Social Security? His game plan is to die before he gets too old to stream or can't survive on the donations he gets any longer.

I guess someone who is more familiar with sole proprietorships like what Phil has can chime in but I'm pretty sure if Phil is paying his full income taxes then he's contributing to social security/medicare/medicaid. Since Phil has been audited for back taxes already, which he's still paying off, I assume he's doing his income taxes right now.

 

[Fapcop]

I have a serious question.

In dsp case since he has, ill assume, no savings nor does he has some sort of retirement benefit. How the fuck someone like him even survive when he is elderly? Like all hes done is stream which in my book aint a job. He doesnt have any job skills that would be useful in today's workplace. Does the government offer fuck ups like dsp assistance when hes up there in age or do they leave him to rot in his own shit and wait to foreclosure and take back what they are owed?

Apologies if i sound ignorant, but i have never even cotemplated such future like that until today. Cant visualize a future whete i dont have a retirement nor are my savings 0

Boy are you silly!

Phil spent six figures on his WWE Champions collection. Obviously he’ll sell it if he ever needs cash!

 

[Fuckyoudad]

I have a serious question.

In dsp case since he has, ill assume, no savings nor does he has some sort of retirement benefit. How the fuck someone like him even survive when he is elderly?

Statistically socially isolated shut-in alchie losers like phil are at a much greater risk of dying much earlier in life. Studies have shown that loneliness is twice as harmful as obseity to a hermit's mental and physical wellbeing. You can say he gets social interaction on his streams but it's simply not a substitute for a healthy lifestyle with real relationships in your day to day life and he only uses it to fund his addict lifestyle anyway he doesn't even consider any of his dents friends because he's a twisted fuckin fruitloop.

What I'm saying is I don't think he's going to reach retirement age or need to worry about his finances without drastic changes to his lifestyle like now and we know he's terrified of change and more importantly he sees nothing at all wrong with the way he's living. I fully expect him to croak live on stream while having a fit during a fighting game and Kat won't notice for about 6 days until she finally gets off Skyrim.

 

[Armor of God]

The government expects you to have some form of retirement plan such as a 401K, Roth, or state pension you paid during your working years, while if you get to see 70 years old, you'll get $900 a month for Social Security, so no. The government doesn't give two shits about you and your ills...it's "Fuck you, pay me!" As far as a job, Phil is stuck in his current role until the day he dies...however, Phil is what I like to call the "long term looker". Meaning, he waits until it's time to strike. His retirement plan is his parents dying, well, they actually died like death certificate and proof of obituary died, not this "I had to lie to protect my family" so I can marry some bitch I barely talk to kind of death. That's Phil goal.

I'm new to all of this lore, but does Phil have siblings who he'd have to share inheritance with ? Also, was he fired for general incompetence (e.g. not even showing up) or even more retarded behavior at these jobs ?

 

[Sicko Hunter]

What I'm saying is I don't think he's going to reach retirement age or need to worry about his finances without drastic changes to his lifestyle like now and we know he's terrified of change and more importantly he sees nothing at all wrong with the way he's living. I fully expect him to croak live on stream while having a fit during a fighting game and Kat won't notice for about 6 days until she finally gets off Skyrim.

You guys are so dramatic man. Phil is a slightly overweight, non smoker who has health insurance and lives in a first world country. You really think he's going to be dead before 60? Come on man. I hate to bring up this example time and time again but Boogie2988 has been 300lb+ for nearly 50 years and is still alive with no signs of dying soon. Phil will easily live into his 70s. "But he's an alcoholic who gets no exercise" so are like half of Americans over the age of 40.

 

[Love Is Blue]

I'm new to all of this lore, but does Phil have siblings who he'd have to share inheritance with ? Also, was he fired for general incompetence (e.g. not even showing up) or even more retarded behavior at these jobs ?

he's an only child but it seems Dave's parents are close to a cousin of his that Phil hates and calls her a drug addict

 

[Pandalee’s Tits]

I have a serious question.

In dsp case since he has, ill assume, no savings nor does he has some sort of retirement benefit. How the fuck someone like him even survive when he is elderly? Like all hes done is stream which in my book aint a job. He doesnt have any job skills that would be useful in today's workplace. Does the government offer fuck ups like dsp assistance when hes up there in age or do they leave him to rot in his own shit and wait to foreclosure and take back what they are owed?

Apologies if i sound ignorant, but i have never even cotemplated such future like that until today. Cant visualize a future whete i dont have a retirement nor are my savings 0

You see old, unskilled people working all over the place. That’s going to be Phil. His parents are going to die, he will squander their inheritance, FatKat will have long divorced his ass, and he will HAVE to do stupid shit like that to survive.

The one bit of good news for DSP is by the time he’s a door greeter at Walmart, nobody will remember who he is to laugh at him.

 

[Armor of God]

he's an only child but it seems Dave's parents are close to a cousin of his that Phil hates and calls her a drug addict

I wonder if it's because even as an alleged drug addict, this cousin is more of a functioning adult than our boy DSP ? His smearing of her might be partially due to a premonition that he has about having to split inheritance with his cousin.

 

[Prince Lotor]

Yeah, I'd love to see Phil's actual analytics. I really doubt hes making anywhere close to six figures through YouTube. Who the fuck is watching a 10 year old gameplay video that's part 63 of an 91 part series where the camera is pointed toward the TV? Majority of his Channel has to be dead and he's likely got really bad viewer retention with a low recommended clickrate.

When Phil was whining at his dents before making the switch to longer videos he said that his current Watch Time engagement was around 60%.
It's probably way worse now, but when Phil switched he coped by saying he didn't care as long as his stream cucks kept tipping him.
In recent years I doubt his AdSense payouts were more than $20K per year, and with his views this year he probably won't make much more than $10K from it. His views really are absolutely dogshit. On an hour & a half long video with 400 views most of those are from people who only watched like 10-30% of it. When he was uploading 15 to 20 minute videos he couldn't get people to watch more than an average of 9 to 12 minutes.

Edit: @Love Is Blue She’s his sister, Phil's parents adopted her. She’s also his cousin. Phil insists on only calling her his cousin despite living together for about 10 years as kids and Phil's parents being her legal guardians.