DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[Armor of God]

When Phil was whining at his dents before making the switch to longer videos he said that his current Watch Time engagement was around 60%.
It's probably way worse now, but when Phil switched he coped by saying he didn't care as long as his stream cucks kept tipping him.
In recent years I doubt his AdSense payouts were more than $20K per year, and with his views this year he probably won't make much more than $10K from it. His views really are absolutely dogshit. On an hour & a half long video with 400 views most of those are from people who only watched like 10-30% of it. When he was uploading 15 to 20 minute videos he couldn't get people to watch more than an average of 9 to 12 minutes.

Edit: @Love Is Blue She’s his sister, Phil's parents adopted her. She’s also his cousin. Phil insists on only calling her his cousin despite living together for about 10 years as kids and Phil's parents being her legal guardians.

That would explain it. She's going to get a big cut of the inheritance that he was likely banking on because he's such a fuck up. This is the source of the consternation towards her.

 

[grump]

When Phil was whining at his dents before making the switch to longer videos he said that his current Watch Time engagement was around 60%.
It's probably way worse now, but when Phil switched he coped by saying he didn't care as long as his stream cucks kept tipping him.
In recent years I doubt his AdSense payouts were more than $20K per year, and with his views this year he probably won't make much more than $10K from it. His views really are absolutely dogshit. On an hour & a half long video with 400 views most of those are from people who only watched like 10-30% of it. When he was uploading 15 to 20 minute videos he couldn't get people to watch more than an average of 9 to 12 minutes.

Edit: @Love Is Blue She’s his sister, Phil's parents adopted her. She’s also his cousin. Phil insists on only calling her his cousin despite living together for about 10 years as kids and Phil's parents being her legal guardians.

What age range did they live together?

 

[Vic Viper T301]

i think dragon's dogma might be a very interesting playthrough for the fat boy. i won't be writing on it since we just wrapped up the BG3 thread, which was a 3 month ordeal, but I will definitely be watching.

I've been playing it and there is definitely a lot of potential. It's a wide open world and sometimes an unexpectedly strong enemy will just show up out of nowhere and fuck you up, especially at night. Fast travel is very limited, both in the places you can travel to and the act itself requires a consumable which is pretty expensive and rare in the early game, Phil will hate this and it could lead to him being stranded at night far from town, bonus points if he's too stupid to have a camping kit at all times. It penalizes you for dying, not very harshly but Phil absolutely hates mechanics like that. Also I ran into a point where there was a sharp difficulty spike and I actually had to slow down on the main quest and do some sidequesting to level up and improve my gear because I was getting killed in 2 hits and enemies were barely taking any damage, so if Phil tries to beeline through the game like he did with Zelda TotK he's gonna have a rough time. I'd have to check but if he has online pawns enabled he could have detractor pawns and sexy lady pawns show up, and if he doesn't have online pawns turned on he will have a harder time in the game because they can be a huge crutch and having your pawn hired is what gives you currency to hire better pawns. Definitely more potential than snore fest playthroughs like Yakuza.

 

[Balr0g]

I'm new to all of this lore, but does Phil have siblings who he'd have to share inheritance with ? Also, was he fired for general incompetence (e.g. not even showing up) or even more retarded behavior at these jobs ?

His parents adopted their cousin all those years ago. I think she had drug problems but is officialy clean now. I also think she still lives with Phil's parents so maybe she is the actual child who gets everything. On the other hand: Phil still has some years ahead of him until he can take "normal" credit again. Waiting for bankruptvcy 2: electric boogaloo.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

I've been playing it and there is definitely a lot of potential. It's a wide open world and sometimes an unexpectedly strong enemy will just show up out of nowhere and fuck you up, especially at night. Fast travel is very limited, both in the places you can travel to and the act itself requires a consumable which is pretty expensive and rare in the early game, Phil will hate this and it could lead to him being stranded at night far from town, bonus points if he's too stupid to have a camping kit at all times. It penalizes you for dying, not very harshly but Phil absolutely hates mechanics like that. Also I ran into a point where there was a sharp difficulty spike and I actually had to slow down on the main quest and do some sidequesting to level up and improve my gear because I was getting killed in 2 hits and enemies were barely taking any damage, so if Phil tries to beeline through the game like he did with Zelda TotK he's gonna have a rough time. I'd have to check but if he has online pawns enabled he could have detractor pawns and sexy lady pawns show up, and if he doesn't have online pawns turned on he will have a harder time in the game because they can be a huge crutch and having your pawn hired is what gives you currency to hire better pawns. Definitely more potential than snore fest playthroughs like Yakuza.

Sounds pretty much like the original game then. I think the only new mechanic which would piss him off is the Dragonrot or whatever the fuck it's called. Anyone who has played the original probably remembers going to do the Shadow Fort quest, taking a short detour, then getting fucking annihilated by the drake that spawns there. If they weren't filtered by the bandits before they even got to Gran Soren for the first time that is.

 

[Brother Wind]

I should see how far he got into the first one. I have been playing it again after a long while and I have been noticing that it is a game that rewards good planning, and paying attention. Sometimes even necessitating it. Oh and as I recall all the big monsters all have a ton of health that really only melts if you hit their weak points. Which they also really don't just actively let you spam and getting at them can be a bear. So, should be some good salt. We will have to see how long it takes for him to quit

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

Also, was he fired for general incompetence (e.g. not even showing up) or even more retarded behavior at these jobs ?

It was mentioned before about Phil having siblings a la Melissa aka sister cousin. Think of it like this: wherever Phil goes, cancer grows. Phil is a cancer to everything he touches. He was a cancer on the FGC, he was a cancer on Twitch - I mean, Twitch is already a hellhole as it is, but that's another story - and he's a cancer to the gaming community. I digress. What Phil calls the "predatory bank" aka Wells Fargo, there was a relationship between a female co-worker and her boss Phil noticed. Instead of ignoring it, like most mature adults do, Phil went WAY over their heads to report it....not realizing that HR knew about it and were totally okay with it. He never went into detail about why he got fired from Wells Fargo, but knowing Phil, they were looking for anything to get rid of him.

Best Buy? Oh, this is one of my favorites "They fucked me!" piece of lore. Phil will claim he was the "business leader" on the sales floor. He was an amazing employee, he made Best Buy tons of money, and one day! Poof! He was fired. That's how Phil puts it, but reality is just a bit deeper. Knowing Phil, and keep this in mind, Phil is a cancer to everything he touches...he was fired for abusing the employee discount policy. He bought 4 PS2's for a gaming tournament he was organizing and used his employee discount. How much was it? 10% off. I'm not joking. If my maths is correct, Phil saved less than $5. In most cases, if you're not a piece of shit, a store would go "Dude, really?" and give you a verbal warning. In Phil's case, they just outright fired his ass. Again, you see a pattern. In a stroke of pigroach luck, he filed for unemployment and got it! You can only get unemployment if you're laid off, wrongful termination, and not fired for general incompetence. Well, Phil filed a suit against Best Buy as he claimed "wrongful termination", won that case, and got unemployment.

The helicopter company? Jesus Christ! All of us can tell that story backwards and forwards. The short of it is this - this was Philly cheesesteaks last real job, before he became YouTuber/streaming pig. The short of it? He was a nepotism hire. His father was a customer support manager, while Phil was a customer support specialist. His job was to take orders for helicopter parts over the phone. Also, his dad taught the ACE Certification course, while Phil had to get as part of his job. Phil took his father's accomplishments and put them as his own. Phil once claimed he did work in their IT department, did all this unpaid work especially in Quality Management, took work home, and even the CEO told Phil he's "better than customer service." Dave Burnell, Phil's father, moved up in the company until he was laid off.

Knowing Phil, you know he walked around like his shit doesn't stink because he could do whatever he wanted, because his dad would back him up.

Basically, whatever Phil touches, cancer grows. However, he will tell you he "isn't the issue, they are." Also, almost 15 years later, he's still bitter about being laid off from the helicopter company.

 

[Prince Lotor]

What age range did they live together?

Based on the release dates of various things Phil had mentioned his parents buying for Melissa she came to live with them when Phil was about 7. If I remember from when I was watching all the PigPigGo clips where he mentions her (there's not alot) late 1988 to 1989 is the earliest for various toys Phil says his parents bought her and 1998 is the latest release date for a new video game Phil mentions she had. I think she's about 2 years older than Phil and moved out after high school, so 16 year old Phil had the house to himself. He lived with her as his sister for most of his grade school years through half of his high school years.

Phil's parents probably somewhat spoiled her too. Not like Phil getting bought every single game console and digging around in the trunk of his mom's car to "accidentally find" his new N64 birthday present early levels, but it sounds like they bought her what she wanted.
Phil says that every Christmas both he and Melissa each got their own smaller Christmas Tree for their bedrooms to decorate however they wanted and the bigger Christmas Tree in the living room was Linda's to decorate however she wanted.

@Balr0g I don't know that I've ever heard it mentioned Melissa living back in Phil's parents house after she was 18, I think his parents were not happy about the drug problem, but I think she's doing well now and has a kid or something.

@Beverly Sutphin The bank story the guy was his boss, I think the girl his boss was having a relationship with was a teller or something. Phil tried to report them to the district manager and didn't know that his direct boss had been a "protégé", as Phil puts it, of the district manager. I think Phil's job was to make cold calls selling sub-Prime mortgages to poor people, and he says after that he only got given the worst leads "so there was no point." I don't know that he actually got directly fired from Wells Fargo, but he definitely got iced out for being a stinky piece of shit.
Phil really thought he was Machiavelli and was going to climb the corporate ladder by backstabbing his direct boss. I'm not even sure where young incel/budding latent homosexual Phil got the idea that the relationship was inappropriate. The guy was like the bank loan officer manager for that branch and she was a teller, they didn't even work in the same department.

 

[marlintan]

Based on the release dates of various things Phil had mentioned his parents buying for Melissa she came to live with them when Phil was about 7. If I remember from when I was watching all the PigPigGo clips where he mentions her (there's not alot) late 1988 to 1989 is the earliest for various toys Phil says his parents bought her and 1998 is the latest release date for a new video game Phil mentions she had. I think she's about 2 years older than Phil and moved out after high school, so 16 year old Phil had the house to himself. He lived with her as his sister for most of his grade school years through half of his high school years.

Phil's parents probably somewhat spoiled her too. Not like Phil getting bought every single game console and digging around in the trunk of his mom's car to "accidentally find" his new N64 birthday present early levels, but it sounds like the bought her what she wanted.
Phil says that every Christmas both he and Melissa each got their own smaller Christmas Tree for their bedrooms to decorate however they wanted and the bigger Christmas Tree in the living room was Linda's to decorate however she wanted.

@Balr0g I don't know that I've ever heard it mentioned Melissa living back in Phil's parents house after she was 18, I think his parents were not happy about the drug problem, but I think she's doing well now and has a kid or something.

Fairly certain she lives with a black fella, who is the father of her child(ren), she stopped posting on social media very much after she got her job as an addiction counselor?

 

[Prince Lotor]

Fairly certain she lives with a black fella, who is the father of her child(ren), she stopped posting on social media very much after she got her job as an addiction counselor?

Yeah, I think that's what I remember people who've actually looked in to her saying.

 

[Overdrive MASK_de_SMITH]

Saw this prestream today and I think this is the most unhinged he's been in a while. So first his solution to people being bored of RPG's is to play even more wall to wall RPG's because he has to finish the games and can't just drop them like he's doing with Final Fantasy. It was this week he was saying how much he loves playing games but then today was talkin about finishing Like a Dragon as if it was Herculean struggle that he just has to get through.

That's a hallmark of Phil. He doesn't like games because he sees them as a "job," while normies turn to video games as a means of recreation and solace. It's why something as chill as an RPG is seen as a effort for him, because RPGs are long and he just wants to pump out khantent and make money. I don't think there's been a single game he's ever truly "liked." He may say he likes Bugsnax, but that's a fucking baby game, and walking sims have no gameplay, so he can release videos faster.

I'm pretty sure Phil's tolerance is just decimated to the point where nothing gives him pleasure unless the results are immediate and he doesn't have to work to get them, and that includes video games.

 

[Balr0g]

No wonder Phil moved away. Can you imagine the family gatherings? every time shew sees his cousin's husband he has to knaw on his hooves

 

[Malakim Phoros]

Best Buy? Oh, this is one of my favorites "They fucked me!" piece of lore. Phil will claim he was the "business leader" on the sales floor. He was an amazing employee, he made Best Buy tons of money, and one day! Poof! He was fired. That's how Phil puts it, but reality is just a bit deeper. Knowing Phil, and keep this in mind, Phil is a cancer to everything he touches...he was fired for abusing the employee discount policy. He bought 4 PS2's for a gaming tournament he was organizing and used his employee discount. How much was it? 10% off. I'm not joking. If my maths is correct, Phil saved less than $5. In most cases, if you're not a piece of shit, a store would go "Dude, really?" and give you a verbal warning. In Phil's case, they just outright fired his ass. Again, you see a pattern. In a stroke of pigroach luck, he filed for unemployment and got it! You can only get unemployment if you're laid off, wrongful termination, and not fired for general incompetence. Well, Phil filed a suit against Best Buy as he claimed "wrongful termination", won that case, and got unemployment.

IIRC on a WPIG episode phil said that the Best Buy for Business Team. He said it was to sell stuff to business leaders but the program was sabotaged since he wasnt given business cards and wasnt invited to mixers to get clients. The team was then scrapped and he either had to learn how to sell servers and shit or become a regular floor salesman. He then said that that was illegal and he couldnt be made to work on something he wasnt hired to do. He then failed whatever test he had to take to qualify to sell servers, then went down to a regular floor salesman when he claimed he should have been a manager. Then the PS2 thing happened and he was shit canned. Long story short he sounded like a POS at work and didnt want to lose what ever superiority he had over other employees so he got kicked to the curb the first chance they got

 

[clownpiss]

Listening through his heavy rain reakt I had to do a double take, he's so sheltered and alien that he thinks after two parents get divorced its completely fucked up and immoral for one of the divorced parents to start seeing someone.

It actually pisses me off how stupid and sheltered and inhumane and retarded this pig is

 

[Cucktry Roads]

No wonder Phil moved away. Can you imagine the family gatherings? every time shew sees his cousin's husband he has to knaw on his hooves

I always hold the idea in my head that Phil hates his parents due to the "divorce" thing they were going through with (but didnt) in his late teens. He likely secretly hates them and only sees them as a piggy bank.

 

[FraudFrog]

Regarding Phil and his future. He will learn to get buy with $50k a year. We all know that one guy, who is perfectly content with living in a shit box, driving a shit box, and just making it by as long as he feels comfortable in his existence. Yeah he’ll whine and complain if his income is halved over the course of 5 years, he’ll kick and scream about it, but he will manage just fine.

He’ll just become a FTP player in WWEC, he’ll buy lower shelf booze, instead of door dashing, he’ll teach Khet how to drive and have her pick up the food while he “works”.

He will do everything he can to not work a 9-5. Even if at 50 (8 years away) he will get by on $30k a year. Khet will need to get a jahb, but he will get by.

Even if his parents leave him $150k in property and wealth, that will be enough to cover whatever he owes in the mortgage in 10-15 years from now. He’s stupid, but he’s not stupid enough to know that no mortgage means more pulls.
The question I’m seeing here is if people will still be watching him in 10-15 years from now, and I don’t think it matters, he’s been around so long that Youtube will always cut him a check. He has figured out how to attract that kind of individual, that kind of dent, who will throw money at him, whether he has realized it or not.

He has an entire industry of detractors making money off his name, look at Snort Burnell, that channel is still going strong, each video manages 3k to 5k views, they have to be pulling in enough money to continue making it worthwhile.

What kills a channel? What has brought down other titans? Can the same happen to Phil? No, because he has snorted himself into a perfect shit storm where he can’t fail. He will always have watchers and always have support, and he will always adjust to survive on the most minimum level of effort.

 

[Eekum Bokum]

Dave not going back to FF7 and will ban anyone who wants it back.

I'd call him a faggot but that would be degrading the term.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

Given how "hard" he worked at BG3, failing working even harder on another RPG where you can't button mash to win would cause him to pass out.

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

Dave not going back to FF7 and will ban anyone who wants it back.

I'd call him a faggot but that would be degrading the term.

we all know why he's desperate to memory hole it

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

He will do everything he can to not work a 9-5. Even if at 50 (8 years away) he will get by on $30k a year. Khet will need to get a jahb, but he will get by.

I'm sure I'm in the minority, but I don't believe Phil thinks this way, and he's not that lazy. Like it or not, DSP, Wings, etc... are 100% correct when they say they're better off profiting online being a lolcow than getting a normal job with their current situations.

He places enormous value in being a Mature Adult, and having money is a big part of that.

There is a line like $50k/year where I think he'd just stop streaming and get a normal job as he thinks he'd be better off.

As has been discussed, Phil seriously thinks Microsoft, Google, Boeing, etc... would love to hire him at any time with a respectable managerial business-style job. His worry is that he'll eventually lose it because everyone else is stupid, and it's not his fault.