Nicholas Robert Rekieta / Rekieta "Law" / Actually Criminal / @NickRekieta - Polysubstance enthusiast, "Lawtuber" turned Dabbleverse streamer, swinger, "whitebread ass nigga", snuffs animals for fun, visits 🇯🇲 BBC resorts. Legally a cuckold who lost his license to practice law. Wife's bod worth $50. The normies even know.

[AncientPhosphur]

His attempts at comedy are some of the most painful things I've ever subjected myself to. Rekieta wanting to be an improv comedian is as tragic as a colorblind kind wanting to be a pilot. He has absolutely zero sense of comedic timing or delivery. It's just a non-stop, rambling diatribe that he sometimes interrupts to say something racist. There's no point to the racism and there's often little callback. He seems to think any sentence suddenly spiced up with a nigger or kike is instantly good stand-up. Listening to him reminds me of being at a bus stop and being harassed by a drunk homeless man who leans in to say something he thinks is offensive.

It's basically random-access humor. I've always really liked that CWCism because it defines a type of non-humor that is very common, like teh penguin of doom. There's nothing inherently funny about doom, or penguins, or sporks... but you slam those bad-boys together and you've got yourself a real knee-slapper.

Have you found yourself 5 minutes into a religious diatribe and now your entire stream chat is unresponsive and dead? Throw in OFFENSIVE_WORD+SILLY_WORD hybrid and the day is saved. NIGGERFARTS!!

I mean being shitfaced doesn't help. I think he drinks because he feels it makes him funnier as a comedian. But it just multiples the effects of him being awful and feeling like an asshole. It's a mix of deadpan humor and being retarded drunk for this combo that is cringe. I think he's deeply depressed as uses drinking and terrible humor to make it better.

 

[Captain Manning]

Ralph might, but at this point I think he's willing to disregard it as long as Sean is nice to him. Nick isn't coming on the killstream, Sean has. Ralph only has a bridge to burn with Sean in defense of Nick, which, given the rage pig's history is entirely possibly, I just think at this point it is unlikely.

You can never really tell with Ralph. He's super volatile.

Being generous, while Ralph is hardly a good Christian, I can at least acknowledge he might actually know the tenants of Christianity. Hell, he might even try to put them into practice sometimes. Again, I'm being generous.

Nick is just a full on heretical piece of shit now.

I think, at this point, Nick is way worse off than Ralph. I dunno what Ralph's fate will ultimately be, but Sean is right that Nick is gonna "ODD himself into hell."

Ralph is only capable of oinking out “Crisis Kang”.

Like I said, I'm being generous. Look what I got to work with on the Rekieta side. I think it's actually worse than Ralph.

 

[Sharpeteer]

Nick is where "lgbtq accepting" churches come from. It's the women who only want to be "nice" to everyone with no discernment getting piloted around by venomous faggots like Nick.

We have those "LGBTQ+" churches all over the place here, and it's disgusting. I will be the first to claim I'm not even close to a role model Christian, and I'm trying to do better about that. However, even I can say those kinds of churches seem to have "forgotten" a lot of the very basic things about the practice. Degeneracy has zero place in a church, period. It's supposed to be a sacred place. To find "good" churches where I'm at, you need to go out to the rural areas.

Also since Nick of course reads the thread, we don't give a shit if you're Christian or not (at least I don't). You're clearly not cut out for that level of discipline.

And clearly a lot of regulars in this thread aren't Christian either, so you not being religious isn't the problem at all. The problem is you pretended to be a Christian for so long, acting as a voice of reason, leading people in that direction, so the backlash you're getting is just the same that anyone else would get when they do a complete 180, and everyone you misled feels deceived or betrayed.

New cope. He wishes he was a hedonist, as he defines it “only living for yourself”. Argues with Steve Gosney at the end.

@Null Honestly if you cover Metokur on MATI please juxtapose Metokur with Rekieta. Metokur might be a cancer patient with an anime addiction, but his view on mortality and morality are in such stark contrast to Nick. It’s like a modern day Goofus and Gallant.

This, and my next quote response below, will probably get me some 'political sperging' stickers.

I think aligning with political parties is cringe, but if you were to put a gun to my head and I was forced to pick one, I'd say I'm more Libertarian as I tend to agree with them more than I don't. I think anyone who feels the same absolutely hates people like Nick, because he is the kind of person that gets looked at, and is considered to be "what Libertarianism is" - some absolute worthless schmuck whose only goal in life is "I DOO WAT I WAAANT."

Nick got morality stomped by Disney. Congratulations.

That's quite an accomplishment. After their response to the whole Florida bill thing, I didn't think they could get any worse. Nick manages to take the cake, and be even worse than them. Remember, this man called himself a Christian at some point, made money from people under that pretense, and believes he STILL offers valid thoughts on the religion even today.


That face when you can't only live for yourself while having a large family, or do literally anything you want while getting paid.

 

[Nate Higgers]

His attempts at comedy are some of the most painful things I've ever subjected myself to.

I re-listened to the infamous “hot tub swinger stream” clip yesterday.

The whole time, all four of them, but Nick and swingerhusband especially. They have this really bad and dated attempt at humor as they’re doing their tongue-in-cheek “hee hee we’re acting like swingers but are we? We just like to be FUNNY and WEIRD” remarks. It’s just all so corny and forced, the way they are saying things reminds me of those shirts you’d see at Walmart in 2009, the ones that say “FLUENT IN SARCASM” or “I PAUSED MY GAME FOR THIS”.

The shit the other guy says and the shit Nick says, all in poor attempts to be “funny” just calls back to the point about Vito the Pedo. They want to have their cake and eat it too when it comes to their degeneracy. They’re implying “oh I’m a swinger”, “oh, I fuck this lady’s husband while our wives watch”, “oh, Nick’s wife doesn’t like me because he fucks my ass when we have swinger nights”, but they’re all said under the flimsy umbrella of “GUYS. It’s. JUST. That. We’re. JOKING. Get over it…you incel PRUDES”. Same as with Vito and his “oh tee hee I’m a pedophile, or am I? It’s just jokes guys, I’m testing the boundaries of free speech in comedy!” routine.

 

[Himedall All-seeing Waifu]

That's quite an accomplishment. After their response to the whole Florida bill thing, I didn't think they could get any worse. Nick manages to take the cake, and be even worse than them. Remember, this man called himself a Christian at some point, and made money from people under that pretense.

Being fair, it was 90's Disney when entertainment for children still had some element of wholesome morality.

Interestingly, Nick himself has taken a similar turn: From advocating 'freedom' and some kind of morality, he has taken the coomer way out of that into the gay retarded 'just be you!' that (post-)modern children's entertainment brays constantly now.

There is a reason morality tales were the first and best recorded. The nugget of truth gives them value and longevity. Nick is no longer a story-teller; he is the cautionary warning.

 

[AnOminous]

It's a mix of deadpan humor and being retarded drunk for this combo that is cringe.

Very few people can pull off being piss drunk and saying offensive shit and being funny anyway. Like Doug Stanhope. And even he could only hold it together a few years. If you start out as a no-talent assclown, though, alcohol isn't going to make up for it. Now you're just a no-talent assclown and drunk, too.

Same as with Vito and his “oh tee hee I’m a pedophile, or am I? It’s just jokes guys, I’m testing the boundaries of free speech in comedy!” routine.

It's seriously on the level of how in the '90s people thought saying "no homo" after saying the most flamboyantly gay shit ever made it not gay.

I think anyone who feels the same absolutely hates people like Nick, because he is the kind of person that gets looked at, and is considered to be "what Libertarianism is" - some absolute worthless schmuck whose only goal in life is "I DOO WAT I WAAANT."

I'm fairly left-libertard but don't generally say the second part because it's basically "oh you're one of those what if the child consents guys."

 

[Captain Manning]

And clearly a lot of regulars in this thread aren't Christian either, so you not being religious isn't the problem at all. The problem is you pretended to be a Christian for so long, acting as a voice of reason, leading people in that direction, so the backlash you're getting is just the same that anyone else would get when they do a complete 180, and everyone you misled feels deceived or betrayed.

That's a large part of it. Even Andrew/Legal Mindset eventually come around to this POV. If you're not genuine, people will resent you. That was Nick's biggest mistake, and the biggest cause of his downfall.

Another part of it is, I think, even the atheists and agnostics here can appreciate the fact that Nick's rebellion against his religious upbringing is cringe AF.

There was that whole fedora tipping skeptic movement in the early 2010s that people like Cult of Dusty and the Amazing Atheist were part of. They too were all about as funny as a root canal.

I suspect militant atheism tends to be just as reviled as overzealous proselytization. Even among non-believers.

I think PPP is gonna have a field day with this next Kino Casino. He was around, and conversing with Nick, back when Nick trying to pretend he was a Christian. He'll certainly comprehend what a 180 this is.

 

[not william stenchever]

I suspect militant atheism tends to be just as reviled as overzealous proselytization. Even among non-believers.

I'm agnostic, I think there's a god and I think our attempts to understand god are all reaching out blindly in a dark room, but I am happy for people who have religion as a positive influence on their lives. I wish I could believe. So seeing this so called man who has revealed himself to be lower than a worm trying to tear it down while he throws away every blessing in his life is beyond contemptable.

 

[RJ MacReady]

There was that whole fedora tipping skeptic movement in the early 2010s that people like Cult of Dusty and the Amazing Atheist were part of. They too were all about as funny as a root canal.

I suspect militant atheism tends to be just as reviled as overzealous proselytization. Even among non-believers.

As the institutional influence of Christian conservatism died off it basically took militant atheism with it, and then leftism had a massive surge and leftism is extremely pro-Islam so online atheists got squeezed back into the fringes because atheists often lean left and scolding Muslims was forbidden.

But even then I think average people still recognise that at least religious organisations feed the needy and build hospitals and schools. Militant atheists contributed fuck all during their relevance besides circlejerking about bearded sky man, milking Kent Hovind for clicks and shoving bananas up their assholes.

Nick is the right age to have experienced and absorbed the popular anti-religious sentiment during the 2000s. If his life shook out a little differently I think he would've never adopted the Christian veneer.

 

[TherapyMan]

Another part of it is, I think, even the atheists and agnostics here can appreciate the fact that Nick's rebellion against his religious upbringing is cringe AF.

Non-terminally online atheists usually do not have "in-group" preferences towards other atheists. There's no "team atheist" that would make me feel like I need to avoid criticizing another atheist. Nick's a fucking loser and an embarrassment regardless of whatever religion he happens to follow.

Spoiler: Aside on Nick's Religious Status

I am not sure how I would categorize Nick. If I am to take him at his word and believe that he has a religion at the end of the day, I would say he's sort of a unique, self-serving, and personalized bastardization of a vague Judeo-Christian faith. He appropriates the language and conventions he finds appealing about Christianity and discards the rest. I would not call him an atheist or agnostic, if only because he professes to believe in a god that largely resembles the Judeo-Christian god, just a hollow-outed version that requires essentially no obligations from him. I understand that he does not adhere to any coherent Christian dogma or really even philosophically follow the principles of Christianity, but many self-professed Christians are the same way. Nick's just a more extreme example, and I wouldn't be surprised if he changed to claiming agnosticism (if he could even self reflected about how incoherent his beliefs have become, which is unlikely).

That being said, personally, I see being a stereotypical vocal obnoxious atheist as a common emotional reaction to the rejection of a previously sincerely held conviction. There's a real nastiness to these people that comes from a feeling of betrayal and/or being forced to adhere to the sociopolitical expectations of whatever sect of Christianity they came from for a substantial period of their life that they no longer believe to be true and therefore feel as if that portion of their life was "wasted."

Comes across as very "edgy rebellious teen" because it basically is. I find it's most common among ex-fundies who develop the strongest resentment of religion.

 

[Space Pope]

Amazing Atheist sticks bananas up his ass.
Nicki sticks bottles up his ass.

 

[Stupor Mario]

Except the difference will be there won’t be a “hooker with a heart of gold” to hold him and clean up after him, he’ll die in the gutter, alone, with only his cat demon to mourn him.

The other difference is that you can actually feel pity for Cage's broken character who still retains a little bit of compassion and humanity. Whereas Nick is just a self-satisfied, hedonistic, jackass narcissist who thinks he's the belle of the ball and the wittiest fellow around.

His attempts at comedy are some of the most painful things I've ever subjected myself to. Rekieta wanting to be an improv comedian is as tragic as a colorblind kind wanting to be a pilot.

He's deluded himself into imagining it's still the mid-aughts, hipster slackers are still cool, and he's the next douchebag hotshot improv comic from Silver Lake who's about to take the comedy world by storm with rambling banter.

That scene is over, Nick, and you never would have made it even back in the day.

 

[polar bear]

I wish I could believe

That's incredibly heartwarming that this is what you wish for, and from my point of view, just another sign that God obviously exists.
It's hard to be a believer these days. The concept of afterlife if pretty much nonexistent in modern culture, whereas back in the day you'd literally see "Memento mori" on buildings, you'd be surrounded by people of faith, whose whole understanding of the world, the way they act or communicate with you, would be heavily influenced by the deep belief that God created the world.

What would certainly help to get closer to faith would be to have a helpful church community nearby, people who reach out to you because they want to help you when your spirit is broken. Or to have few kids, say, like, 5 of them. So that you can ponder on the miracle of life everyday. Or to live without any undue stress over how to get by financially, for example if you'd be able to rely on family supporting you. Or, if you could have a large house somewhere away from degenerate cities, be surrounded by nature, wake up everyday to sounds of birds, trees, to the smell of forest and wild flowers.

But it's of course almost impossible for a person to be so fucking lucky and have all of those things.

 

[feral cat #6385]

Rackets is beyond contemptible and a douchey miscreant. But no one deserves cancer, let alone pancreatic cancer.

You're partially right. He doesn't deserve pancreatic cancer. Testicle cancer on the other hand...

 

[Dr Naomi Hunter]

You're partially right. He doesn't deserve pancreatic cancer. Testicle cancer on the other hand...

Testicular torsion from Balldo use would be funnier.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Very few people can pull off being piss drunk and saying offensive shit and being funny anyway. Like Doug Stanhope. And even he could only hold it together a few years. If you start out as a no-talent assclown, though, alcohol isn't going to make up for it. Now you're just a no-talent assclown and drunk, too.

Thats the thing. Nick’s whole comedy is to power through it regardless of tone or timing. He just rams it through like a balldo on a bull. There’s never a clever set up. There’s nothing to build up to. He just straight rants and drops humor when you’re staring horrified. You can go back and watch the clips and expect a funny haha this isn’t serious but no he’s so drunk and manic it comes across as more madman ranting than humor.

 

[AnOminous]

But even then I think average people still recognise that at least religious organisations feed the needy and build hospitals and schools.

Even fucking Islam does that and it's my least favorite of the Big Three Abrahamic religions.

You can go back and watch the clips and expect a funny haha this isn’t serious but no he’s so drunk and manic it comes across as more madman ranting than humor.

Nick's funny. As the great Karl Childers said, "not funny ha-ha funny queer."

 

[Crocodylus Acutus]

Even fucking Islam does that and it's my least favorite of the Big Three Abrahamic religions.

Nick is funny, though.

Muslims only build hospitals and schools so they can practice suicide bombing them.

I think PPP is gonna have a field day with this next Kino Casino. He was around, and conversing with Nick, back when Nick trying to pretend he was a Christian. He'll certainly comprehend what a 180 this is.

I can't wait for PPP to go full Southern preacher mode on Rackets. "YOU WILL FACE THE FIRES OF HELL, NICHOLAS REKIETA, FOR WEARING THE BALLDO, AND BLASPHEMING THE GOOD LORD."

 

[Maude Snew]

closeted

Citation needed.

they’re doing their tongue-in-cheek

Wouldn't mind so much had they kept their tongues within their own cheeks frankly.

That being said, personally, I see being a stereotypical vocal obnoxious atheist as a common emotional reaction to the rejection of a previously sincerely held conviction. There's a real nastiness to these people that comes from a feeling of betrayal and/or being forced to adhere to the sociopolitical expectations of whatever sect of Christianity they came from for a substantial period of their life that they no longer believe to be true and therefore feel as if that portion of their life was "wasted."

Works the other way around too. I believe it's called being born again? But converts are always the most militant.

 

[polar bear]

Muslims only build hospitals and schools so they can practice suicide bombing them.


I can't wait for PPP to go full Southern preacher mode on Rackets. "YOU WILL FACE THE FIRES OF HELL, NICHOLAS REKIETA, FOR WEARING THE BALLDO, AND BLASPHEMING THE GOOD LORD."

oh fuck yeah, I want a full PPP sermon. With Warski muted and no dono disruptions, just full on 20 mins righteous indignation sesh