Quinton Reviews / Quinton Kyle Hoover / Q_Review / OttselSpy24 / OttselSpy25 - I KNOW WE HIT THE LIMIT FOR ME TO DO THEM, BUT THOSE THINGS TAKE TIME, NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK ABOUT GARFIELD AND MCDONALDS, WHILE MOCKING OTHER YOUTUBERS!!

[Mary Lee Harvey osWalsh]

until then I just hope Youtube releases 3x speed so listening to a fat retard read wikipedia entry tier information is less boring.

Until then I await the Blue Muslim Queen to give a good summary. Because like hell am I going to watch that shit that I already saw on Quiet on the Set.

 

[jenna raiding]

New video, it's a remake of his first Nickelodeon review

 

[Cool kitties club]

New video, it's a remake of his first Nickelodeon review

Damn its amazing how much more low energy his new reviews are in comparison and his room also isnt an unearthly trans Garfield shrine

 

[Retink Retunk]

Damn its amazing how much more low energy his new reviews are in comparison and his room also isnt an unearthly trans Garfield shrine

What amazes me is how many views he still gets, I guess he found his perfect audience, the one that will consoom no matter the slop.

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

Ok I did a jump back to page 354 to see if this was posted around feb '23 but didn't see it. So rate me late if it was buried somewhere on another page I couldn't find.

Youtubers got profiled in the New Yorker.

https://twitter.com/mikesmicYT/status/1677330321447043073/photo/1

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like he's a historian covering the late stages of the Holy Roman Empire.

I KNEEL
Never posted here before, great find. About a year ago Quinton was bitching about not being Xitter verified for getting articles on online news websites, so I'm surprised he didn't mention this one.

Until then I await the Blue Muslim Queen to give a good summary. Because like hell am I going to watch that shit that I already saw on Quiet on the Set.

As Kel Mitchell used to say oh, here we go.
Before we begin, special thanks to the ever cute and forever in our hearts @Rotollo 2 who valiantly tried to watch this and gave some timestamps before falling asleep like a Quinton fan. I also want to say that I meant to watch Quiet on Set before this to compare and contrast but I was unable to legally or illegally get the chance to do so, so I will resort to info I was able to find with spoiler reviews.

• Quinton as usual is overdramatic. He opens the whole thing the same way he closed Sam & Cat 3, TV static like this is some shit-tier analog horror. He opens and closes the video using Head of the Class as an example. The intro is, again, spending several minutes to explain sitcom dynamics just to tell us how Schneider got his start and the powerful friends he had at Nick. The closer is as @Wolfe Tone put it, more of a tangent into streaming. Despite the fact that he is meant to be talking about very serious stuff, Quinton cracks jokes every so often by using his own trademarked uptalk. Quinton is just summarising Schneider's career before Nick and my personal highlight is Q pulling Hot Resort, an adult VHS comedy Schneider appeared in, from his consoomer shelf right behind his Ariana Grande doll.
• Quinton's TheEesis: Is impossible to watch Schneider's work without the context of who he was.
• @24:26, the ground rules, basically Q warning us that he will only talk about stuff with substantial proof from official sources, so no internet gossip forums. Doesn't want to get sued. Q says he will only talk about stuff that really happened and tells us he has a personal jihad against true crime channels that talk about Schneider because they do it wrong.
• He watched Quiet on Set and is practically just regurgitating it. Quinton lists his sources on screen at the end but only by listing them as "article by X in Y". He talks about the female writers splitting wages and the confirmed degens, but not about nepotism, favouritism, racism and humiliation. The meme that Quinton is racist lives another day.

Addendum: Q was supposed to be making his own investigation, as in he went through the trouble of looking old Instagram posts, but instead did the bare minimum of repeating what was said in Quiet on Set with less detail.

• Q's stance on Schneider is repeated a couple of times and has it's own section. Quinton believes Schneider to just be a scapegoat that people use to pretend child actors are no longer discarded by Hollywood like q tips and that the name now solely exist to evoke a false sense of security. To save you more time, Q says that Dan was the "honorary cool kid" and his casts were "honorary adults", also since he can't confirm the foot fetish for the risk of being sued he suggests maybe he is just a guy that childishly finds feet very funny.
• @55:50 (clip worthy), in the segment about sexualization Q talks about how many people crediting Victorious as their 'sexual awakening' was by design and that we should be worried. Fan callout?
• @1:02:21 (clip worthy) QUINTON KEPT A FEET TALLY.
• @1:04:41 (clip worthy) sudden matrix moment when Q talks about how easy it has become for people to read fetishes in situations that were considered just awkwardly entertaining back when and the prevalence of fetishes in current year.
• @1:23:16, Q thinks that Quiet on Set went soft on Drake Bell since they needed him to finish the docuseries. He says he feels no regrets in making fun of Drake since he still remembers the child endangerment charges.
• @1:27:20 (clip worthy) Q issues a warning knowing that people will clip him out of context in his not defence of Schneider as people got the idea that he has intentionally played coy about his actions.
• @1:28:40, the Spencer and Helen are Dan's self inserts. Reasoning? Spencer is the "honorary cool kid" and Helen used to act in a sitcom. Beyond the fact that this is a theory of his (in a video where he said he would only talk about substantiated stuff) and that no one even in his own circles agrees with him, I can use Q's Head of the Class logic to say that Dan was simply recycling sitcom concepts.

Explanation: Helen acted in a sitcom that is a reference to Good Times, not Head of the Class. Spencer's dynamic with Carly is more akin to Guys Like Us, another Schneider made show that Q literally described in the intro and he hangs out with the gang both as a legal guardian and for exposure. While discussing I'm Glad My Mom Died, Q suggested that Sam's crush on Spencer was the writers referencing Jeannette's real life crush on Jerry Trainor, you can't have it both ways.

• @1:31:57 (MUST CLIP MOMENT) Q explains that he refusing to name Schneider was a joke commenting on how the Nick fandom likes to pretend he doesn't exist and that both his fans and detractors missed the joke thinking he was for real.
• @1:35:23, Q's conclusion is that while you can't consume Schneider sitcoms without recognising he is there, they were made part of people's life by the actors, thus boycott isn't the answer. Remember Q's livelihood and relevance depends on people consuming those shows too.
• Special thanks to Hippie Rat and his family.

Will try to cover the FOP thing later.

 

[Rotollo 2]

Before we begin, special thanks to the ever cute and forever in our hearts @Rotollo 2 who valiantly tried to watch this and gave some timestamps before falling asleep like a Quinton fan.

Sweetheart, you forgot the funniest bit in the video:
@51:07: quinton quotes better call saul to make a point

Quinton, you will never be Chuck McGill, you have no EMS, you have no slippin' brother, you have no chicanry, you are a youtube "male" twisted by garfield merch and Nickalodean into a crude mockery of Michael McKean's perfection.

Edit:

@1:23:16, Q thinks that Quiet on Set went soft on Drake Bell since they needed him to finish the docuseries. He says he feels no regrets in making fun of Drake since he still remembers the child endangerment charges.

also you think Q would appreciate the murky shit around drake after the flower gothic shit he went through but he has like -5 self awareness
Requested clips by @Blue Gem Muslim Queen:

Spoiler

Quinton Doesn't want to get sued

Quinton talks about Teens Victorious sexual awakening

The Quinton ICarly feet count

Q shits on quiet on set

Q on not regretting making fun of Drake Bell

Q on people trying to say he defended dan:

Quinton: the Misunderstood Artist:

Schizo Quinton Dan Schneider self insert theory

Quinton is happily dreaming of pitching an victorious reboot:

 

[Tsunade-sama]

How the fuck is this real

 

[Esmeraude]

These two comments are just as bad if not worse than the content tbh.

 

[grapeshark77]

He's had this one in production for a while - there's clips from it in this thread that are months old. I think the original "April Fool" was that his Dad is hosting it but I guess he turned it into "lol the video is long" bit because he knows his audience is dumb enough to sit through it.

 

[luigismanslave]

this dude's terrible insufferable videos are stretched to high hell as is- I thought peak jewery was 10 hours talking about like 5 episodes of a tv show for 9 year old girls, this is the most retarded and autistic thing I've ever seen

 

[Northern Blockhead]

I feel sorry for the poor dilweed that attempts to watch this in one sitting.

 

[White-Kettle Shufflepunk]

• Quinton's TheEesis: Is impossible to watch Schneider's work without the context of who he was.

Not to defend Schneider (or the quality of his work, for that matter) but the actual children his shitty sitcoms were aimed at seemed to manage.

He's had this one in production for a while - there's clips from it in this thread that are months old. I think the original "April Fool" was that his Dad is hosting it but I guess he turned it into "lol the video is long" bit because he knows his audience is dumb enough to sit through it.

I'm guessing his dad just died of old age halfway through production and Quinton decided to commit to the bit.

 

[Mary Lee Harvey osWalsh]

How the fuck is this real

Is there really 38 hours worth of things to talk about with the Beverly Hillbillies? I've only seen maybe like one episode a few years ago late at night and I don't remember anything about it, so my reference point is pretty bad. There's a guy named Jed and he finds oil and so the hillbillies move to Beverly Hills and hijinks ensue.

 

[luigismanslave]

Is there really 38 hours worth of things to talk about with the Beverly Hillbillies

absolutely not, but chunker has found success by stretching his content to comically long lengths for soys to fall asleep to, while saying nothing of substance about stuff that could be discussed in like a 40 min video:

his icarly videos are 8 hours and 21 minutes for 97 episodes of a show for 12 year old girls, that's about 5 min per episodes.

his victorious videos are 13 hours and 10 minutes for 57 episodes, just under 14 min an episode

sam and cat: 21 hours and 6 minutes, 35 episodes: 36 min per 22 minute episode (lmao)

it's a "tactic"

 

[Flexo]

absolutely not, but chunker has found success by stretching his content to comically long lengths for soys to fall asleep to, while saying nothing of substance about stuff that could be discussed in like a 40 min video:

his icarly videos are 8 hours and 21 minutes for 97 episodes of a show for 12 year old girls, that's about 5 min per episodes.

his victorious videos are 13 hours and 10 minutes for 57 episodes, just under 14 min an episode

sam and cat: 21 hours and 6 minutes, 35 episodes: 36 min per 22 minute episode (lmao)

it's a "tactic"

Meanwhile our boy Alex here getting it done in under 15.



Damn that actually depresses me. Though it did amuse me the search suggestions:

 

[HatredOfScissors]

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These two comments are just as bad if not worse than the content tbh.
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does he not know how to schedule an upload

Quinton's TheEesis: Is impossible to watch Schneider's work without the context of who he was.

Thats funny considering its impossible to watch Quintons videos without context of who he is.

I'm watching the hillbillies video right now. I think the fact that its hosted by his dad, who I'm assuming isn't a failed breadtuber that doomposts in womens dms, makes it more enjoyable. But I don't think I could ever sit through the whole thing.

I actually find this show fairly interesting, as a example of classic American television that was once enormously popular but now all but forgotten about and irrelevant. Surprisingly it has a 7.3 on IMDb, which is high for an old sitcom, probably due to being a straightforward, inoffensive, "comfy" show with a vintage aesthetic. What Quintons essentially doing is cannibalizing this show and making the modern day youtube equivalent, digesting it for a modern audience.

 

[X-avier cuck]

Is there really 38 hours worth of things to talk about with the Beverly Hillbillies? I've only seen maybe like one episode a few years ago late at night and I don't remember anything about it, so my reference point is pretty bad. There's a guy named Jed and he finds oil and so the hillbillies move to Beverly Hills and hijinks ensue.

nope.
The Beverly Hillbillies was just another average '60s sitcom that somehow spawned spin-offs like "Petticoat Junction" and "Green Acres." It's all about those country bumpkins striking it rich and awkwardly fumbling their way through high society, bringing their hillbilly antics along for the ride.
There's nothing to say about it unless you're trying to critique it and its kin from the progressive standards of today which holds zero value

 

[Ultrapenguin]

That video is so long the time bar doesn't make sense. Is 1:14:27:48 supposed to mean 1 day, 14 hours, 27 minutes, 48 seconds?

There has to be some point where the topic gets uninteresting enough and the videos get long enough that people stop watching them...right?

absolutely not, but chunker has found success by stretching his content to comically long lengths for soys to fall asleep to, while saying nothing of substance about stuff that could be discussed in like a 40 min video:

his icarly videos are 8 hours and 21 minutes for 97 episodes of a show for 12 year old girls, that's about 5 min per episodes.

his victorious videos are 13 hours and 10 minutes for 57 episodes, just under 14 min an episode

sam and cat: 21 hours and 6 minutes, 35 episodes: 36 min per 22 minute episode (lmao)

it's a "tactic"

It seems to have been a bizarrely successful tactic too, Quinton's sort of a pioneer of the ultralong form media essay.
First people could fall asleep to his videos, then they could fall asleep and wake up to his videos, then they could fall asleep, wake up, go post on Reddit all day, then fall asleep again to his videos.

Now quiet yourselves and prepare for a week long recap of "Days Of Our Lives" that you can listen to all the way from Monday through Friday, chuds.

 

[luigismanslave]

That video is so long the time bar doesn't make sense. Is 1:14:27:48 supposed to mean 1 day, 14 hours, 27 minutes, 48 seconds?

There has to be some point where the topic gets uninteresting enough and the videos get long enough that people stop watching them...right?


It seems to have been a bizarrely successful tactic too, Quinton's sort of a pioneer of the ultralong form media essay.
First people could fall asleep to his videos, then they could fall asleep and wake up to his videos, then they could fall asleep, wake up, go post on Reddit all day, then fall asleep again to his videos.

Now quiet yourselves and prepare for a week long recap of "Days Of Our Lives" that you can listen to all the way from Monday through Friday, chuds.

he's not even good at it. he has nothing to say, he fills it with wacly gimmicks and tangents and just recounts the plot of episodes of children's shows ala nostalgia critic. it's not a dive into how a show is constructed, its impact, or a dissection of themes, it's just babble

 

[Chilson]

he's not even good at it. he has nothing to say, he fills it with wacly gimmicks and tangents and just recounts the plot of episodes of children's shows ala nostalgia critic. it's not a dive into how a show is constructed, its impact, or a dissection of themes, it's just babble

Your acting like the Plebbit retards who suck Quniton's cock have a greater mental capacity than that of babies. They WANT babble, jingling keys and white noise to distract them from their empty lives.

Quinton might have mistakenly wandered ass backwards into this gold mine and, for as much entirely deserved shit we all give him, he has managed to mine it for all its worth.