Off-Topic Random Trans Thoughts, Musings, and Questions - For all your armchair psych and general sperging

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But I don't think "transgender" as a concept will ever truly go away. There's too much financial interest in keeping it afloat, too many people who won't ever be able to admit that they were snowed, and then when they all die off, too many men who will always get their kicks from wearing women's underwear.
Of course they'll always be true believers, and those who transition because they think it'll fix their problems.I think the best case scenario is that people will look back at transgenderism in the same way people saw it before it became a popular topic.People will see men dresses as weirdos who should be avoided, and not celebrated like they are these days.I also hope kids and teens will be safeguarded from these creeps, and doctors will be sued if they try to convince a kid that transitioning will fix whatever mental health problems they have.Sadly for LGB folks, I feel TQ+ will take them down with them since the force teaming has harmed gays who just wanted to get married.
 
Optimistic as I am that it will fall apart, the real problem is that we are now deep into the legal codification of the initial grievances that drove the entire panic. Laws have been enacted to enforce the new moral framework of troonism, while troons themselves are deeply embedded into core social and economic institutions. What I fear is that, as their movement collapses, their response will be the sabotage and destruction of everything they even tangentially control.
Let them try.

Optimist that I am, I think we'll make it ok through something like that.
 
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Reactions: teriyakiburns
I'll take any neg ratings, but do trans suicide rates really decrease after surgery and gender-affirming care? I've heard it go both ways, and would appreciate any input or direction for good sources.
 
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Reactions: Aunt Carol
I'll take any neg ratings, but do trans suicide rates really decrease after surgery and gender-affirming care? I've heard it go both ways, and would appreciate any input or direction for good sources.
The overall mortality for sex-reassigned persons was higher during follow-up (aHR 2.8; 95% CI 1.8–4.3) than for controls of the same birth sex, particularly death from suicide (aHR 19.1; 95% CI 5.8–62.9). Sex-reassigned persons also had an increased risk for suicide attempts (aHR 4.9; 95% CI 2.9–8.5) and psychiatric inpatient care (aHR 2.8; 95% CI 2.0–3.9). Comparisons with controls matched on reassigned sex yielded similar results. Female-to-males, but not male-to-females, had a higher risk for criminal convictions than their respective birth sex controls.
Trans suicide rates increase after surgery. I haven't heard of a study doing the same comparison between trans who do take HRT and those who don't. It seems reasonable to assume FtM would be more negatively affected by HRT than MtF, since estrogen's effects on men are mostly temporary (everything but the moobs and sperm count go back to normal if treatment is discontinued) whereas testosterone has more permanent effects on women.
 
As a normal part of life you are eventually going to encounter someone who just doesn't see you the way you see yourself, or sees you in a way that's completely contradictory to who you actually are in reality.

Most people learn that the best course of action is usually just to ignore and move on.

Every single troon who has ever existed has failed to learn this lesson, because demanding that other people see them the way they want to be seen is a core part of the ideology.

The venn diagram of transgenders and controlling assholes is a circle.
 

Trans activists ‘must stop invoking suicide in puberty blockers debate’

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Trans activists must stop claiming that children will kill themselves if they are prevented from changing gender, the Government’s adviser on suicide prevention has said.

In a significant intervention, Prof Sir Louis Appleby said there was no evidence behind the claim and that it was “deeply insensitive” to those families who have suffered from the suicide of a teenager.

Groups like the charity Mermaids, which have been accused of pushing puberty blockers on children, have in the past claimed that denying a child’s right to change their gender identity could increase the risk of suicide.

MPs have also used the argument in the Commons.

Prof Appleby, a psychiatrist who leads the National Suicide Prevention Strategy for England, said: “Children with gender distress may face bullying, isolation and family conflict, [which are] reasons to be alert to suicide risk.

“Empathetic support is vital but evidence that puberty blockers reduce risk is weak and unreliable.

“Invoking suicide in this debate is mistaken and potentially harmful.”

Writing on X, formerly Twitter, he added: “We need to see an end to that line about choosing a living daughter or a dead son.

“It is not based on evidence. May add to distress in young people and mislead worried parents.

“Deeply insensitive to 200 families a year to whom the suicide of a teenager is more than a slogan.”

Susie Green, who previously headed up Mermaids after her son told her aged four that he should have been a girl, is among those who have invoked suicide.

In an article for The Independent, she wrote: “Listening to your child should never be equated with abusive and bad parenting. And my family is proof of that.

“I have my daughter, whole and alive, but if I had refused to listen then it’s very likely that I would have a dead son.”

Kirsty Blackman, an SNP MP, quoted a trans constituent in a Commons debate.

“When they heard about biological sex being included in the Equality Act and this change being made, they said: ‘What hope is left? Should I just kill myself now and be done with it?’”

Despite all the rhetoric, there is no evidence of large numbers of suicides of trans teenagers in recent years.

Ministers under pressure​

Prof Appleby’s intervention comes just days after the NHS banned children from receiving puberty blockers on prescription.

NHS England said under-18s will now only be able to take the controversial drugs as part of a clinical trial set to start at the end of this year, citing a lack of evidence that they were safe or effective.

Ministers said the “landmark decision” was in children’s “best interests” and would help to ensure youngsters who feel their gender is not the same as their sex are being treated with a view to the medical evidence.

The proposals to stop the practice were first accepted by NHS England in July 2022 following recommendations made by a review led by Dr Hilary Cass, the former president of the Royal College of Paediatrics and Child Health.

She warned that the drugs may permanently disrupt the brain maturation of adolescents, potentially rewiring neural circuits in a way that cannot be reversed, and said there was a lack of long-term evidence and data collection on their safety and effectiveness.

Ministers are now under pressure to make it illegal for private clinics to give puberty blockers to children, amid fears that online doctors could exploit the NHS ban on the drugs.

Campaigners warn that children and parents could migrate from the NHS to online clinics running a “Wild West operation”.

Private clinics have previously been found to prescribe puberty blockers to young children after online meetings. This includes GenderGP, a website run by the GP Dr Helen Webberley that is registered in Singapore.

A spokesman for Mermaids said multiple studies show that “trans young people are disproportionally at risk of experiencing depression, self-harm, substance misuse, suicidal thoughts and behaviours, linked to factors such as discrimination and transphobia”.

Meanwhile, Liz Truss will on Friday launch in the Commons an attempt to ban puberty blockers entirely, as well as one to protect women’s spaces by changing the law to define “sex” as “biological sex”.

The former prime minister urged Rishi Sunak to back her bill, which she said would give children and women the protections that they need “in the face of the extreme agenda being pursued by militant gender ideologues”.

“I have had productive discussions with colleagues in Parliament and am very much hoping the Government will back my Bill. This would be hugely positive for the protection of children,” she said.

Dr Caroline Johnson, a Tory MP, consultant paediatrician, and member of the Commons health select committee, said: “We need legislation because otherwise I fear prescribing of puberty blockers will just shift into the private sector.

“I think it’s wrong that children’s bodies are being changed irreversibly without adequate evidence that it’s necessary or in their best interests.”

A government aide said: “Kemi [Badenoch] is very supportive of the aims of Liz’s bill but it is unworkable in its current form. Nonetheless it can support Kemi’s work on the definition of sex, and colleagues’ work banning puberty blockers, and Liz is keen to help.

“The Labour Party is hopelessly split on these issues, so the Conservatives should be open to all ideas to improve protections for women and girls.”

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Alright I gotta ask, why do these degenerates want to be girls more than women. They emulate the behaviour of what they think a little girl is like and use terms like "girlmode"
  1. Girls is said as an affectionate term adult women use for each other sometimes.
  2. Girls do not have as much responsiblity or problems as women do, fitting in with the Never Gonna Grow Up Neverland syndrome they have.
  3. Girls are cute and innocent, and aren't seen as negatively when they cry or display emotional traits (reality notwithstanding). This lets them engage in more "cute" and immature behaviors without guilt and can be coddled for their failures/overemotional nature. It's much more sympathetic than an adult male failing or crying. Some of these dumbasses treat it as a second puberty, therefore become girl who is fucking up instead of grown ass idiot.
  4. Girls refers to hot women in their 18-24 in addition to girl as a child. "Hot Girl Shit" is an example of what it is. Girl is a woman before marriage or responsibility, the "hot" avaliable phase. They want to be hot fuckable young women. They call them anime girls, not anime women.
  5. While not all of them are, some are pedos and mean girl as an underage woman.
In no particular order.
 
Is it just me or do pooners in particular look like they smell really bad. Like I can imagine Troons at least covering up their smell of semen and sweat with shitty mall perfume but whenever I see I pooner I just feel as though I could smell their rotten unwashed flesh through a screen
 
Is it just me or do pooners in particular look like they smell really bad. Like I can imagine Troons at least covering up their smell of semen and sweat with shitty mall perfume but whenever I see I pooner I just feel as though I could smell their rotten unwashed flesh through a screen
Some pooners think being a dirty slob is such a manly thing to be - because it is the opposite of what we usually see as femininity.
 
Is it just me or do pooners in particular look like they smell really bad. Like I can imagine Troons at least covering up their smell of semen and sweat with shitty mall perfume but whenever I see I pooner I just feel as though I could smell their rotten unwashed flesh through a screen
They both smell weird because both aren't taking care of themselves. However...

Troons don't really use perfume that much, from my experience it's pooners who are more likely to use it. It's still not that common, and a lot of them, as self-proclaimed autistics, like talking about how much they hate its smell because it leads them to having a meltdown. I stopped giving these people benefit of the doubt.

Also, while pooners do smell, they smell relatively less simply because women are naturally less stinky and are still on average more socialized to groom themselves. What you said may be a general stereotype that gnc or hairy women are unwashed, and associating femininity with hygiene (and I agree that a lot of pooners think this way, thus they assume not showering makes them manly), but reality is that your average caked up troon probably stenches more like a rotting garbage than an average pooner does. Even when both are on hormones, males still smell much worse. (Can't escape reality of sexually dimorphic endocryne system!) And I'm not exaggerating here, I'm still not over an MTF I met who looked like he's clean, but the smell coming from him was literally the same you'd get from a homeless drunkard. It was unbearable to be around and I still feel second hand embarassment. The pooner who showered once a month was smelling bad too, but the smell was much less intense and musky.

Granted, I'm only talking about two types of both troons and pooners here: about those who simply slap an identity and then rot in their beds doomscrolling whole day, so it's simply lack of shower, and those who are also on various types of HRT on top of not wiping their asses. I'm not entirely sure how surgeries can affect the whole picture. I heard some horror stories about FTMs letting their mastectomy scars rot just so they can get "cool scars" and person who talked about it reported it all smelling really, really bad. Now that's something I don't want to encounter ever in my life...
 
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I originally wrote this as a comment for another post, but it quickly got super long and TMI. So here ya go, I apologize. This is my account of desisting, questioning my beliefs, and unfortunately, losing two close friends and my entire former support network at the drop of a hat. Transition was very traumatizing for me, especially my rush to medicalize; thank God I desisted. I began to question everything when I considered my own behavior and the system that propped me up. This inquiry ostracized me from my former glitter family.

I'm gonna publish everything as an article soon enough so I guess I'm just spitballing for now. The biggest lesson of late: I was so damn naive. This culture war can destroy friendships.

----------------------------------

While identifying as a trans woman, I defended all the classic talking points with ferocity. They all worsened my cognitive dissonance and dissociation. I was a trans woman, and trans women are women; even though I still had a male body, I had a woman's soul, and THAT'S what attraction is based on. Following that logic, I was perpetually upset that certain lesbians didn't want my girldick. I was a woman, and had a woman's soul, so my penis was a woman's body part - and the lesbian women I knew had no excuse other than transphobia. For this reason I kept a mental list of women I knew who I suspected to be transphobes. I leaned into the attention I got from men but found myself increasingly bitter and misogynistic as I failed harder and harder at attracting women. Bisexual women weren't enough; lesbians were the ultimate prize and ultimate affirmation. I felt like I was owed something.

Writing about my past psychology disgusts me. I am so, so sorry. To all those women and to any of you who just read that.

I had a lot of time to reflect after desisting. It was on a quiet walk in late December when I had a "holy shit" moment. Previously I had been blaming other people for my ills, but I finally grappled with my own toxic entitlement. I was never a woman, just a man using my male power in an acceptable, "virtuous" way. The oldest story of humanity. I even thought myself better than “cis” women because I had to actively strive toward womanhood through transition. And I knew other trans women in real life with the same mentality as me; the only difference was that I had desisted, while they are still transitioning. And if I was never a woman, then....!!!

After this "holy shit" moment all my pseudo-religious beliefs about gender and sex came crumbling down. My transition as a 21-year-old was founded on mental illness and misogyny; why, then, are we prescribing puberty blockers to children half my age? Kids are smart, yeah, but they're not wise. Certainly not wiser than me, and that's a low bar.

Troubled by my own thoughtcrimes, I saw a priest who specialized in psychotherapy. Surprisingly, my gender identity and sexuality were non-issues for him, and he simply asked me to "take it back further." Over two hours, he managed to unravel 17 years of trauma, freeing me from old wounds and teaching me to love myself as I am. Confronting the foundational incident was very emotional and provided me a template for mindfulness that I still use daily.

By contrast, the clinic I was to start hormones with touted how you don't need a therapist to start HRT. I was gonna rawdog it, changing my body without addressing any of my deep-seated psychological problems. Because I had gender dysphoria, that superseded everything.

I would've decried this priest's intervention as "conversion therapy" just six months ago. But it has made me feel happier and healthier than ever before. I've developed a newfound confidence and love for life.

As I kept recovering, though, I got scared. I no longer believed in transition, and began to regard all gender medicine as a sham. Especially the affirmation model. I also decided that in the future, to counter my male privilege and toxicity, I would center the needs of women, children, and vulnerable adults; especially women, who had fought so hard for their sex-based rights and protections. I revisited my old favorites, Ari Drennen and Erin Reed, but now saw them to be dishonest and eager to push an agenda.

The people who'd loved me, the friends who'd saved me last year - what would they think of me now? I'd read horror stories here of people whose old friend groups dropped them like a hot potato at the slightest whiff of a "problematic" opinion. And here I was with an entire problematic worldview.

The best answer to this question was to not answer it. I lived a quiet life for months, hanging out with good friends just like the old days. Not bringing it up, shutting my mouth when necessary.

I got too comfortable.

I heard from a friend at church about a university org panel on Gender and Sex. He sort of knew I was interested in the subject but didn't know why; I'd been scared to tell him.

I signed up instantly - maybe here I could articulate my views? I get heated at on-the-spot discussion, so a controlled environment where I just state my beliefs was the best way to get it out. As a bonus, there were two trans people on the panel, so maybe I could find some common ground with them.

Over the following two weeks I then cultivated this stupid fantasy. I'd invite my old friend group, and they'd show up, and hear the emotion in my words, and maybe their hearts would be stirred. I didn't think I'd change any minds - that wasn't the point of the panel, after all - but maybe this was my way in, the way to have that hard conversation. We'd all go to get pizza afterward and shoot the shit. And it would all be open and raw and beautiful and honest. I'd been the president of that group, and a trans woman, so I had some cred, right?

Right?

The panel went great. I didn't agree with the other panelists, but we did find some common ground - i.e. present however you wish, love whoever you wish, gender stereotypes are stupid, etc. I befriended the trans people afterward and started a strong friendship with a detransitioner.

Only one guy from my old friend group showed up; he came late, missing my testimony, and didn't acknowledge me afterward. All I got was a "bye Graywolf." Weird but alright, we weren't close anyway. In a way I was glad it was just him, because my views were still rough around the edges and I had been pretty blunt in my responses. I had also teared up a bit when discussing my generational trauma. He had missed that too, but - maybe it was all a bit too vulnerable.

So my kumbaya fantasy didn't come true, but at least nothing bad had happened. Maybe I could finally approach the subject in private conversation.

But then the next day the "concerned" texts started rolling in. That guy had stealthily recorded a clip (clips?) of me saying "disturbing" things like "sex is binary and immutable," and then sent it to my remaining friends from my old social group. From there it was spread far and wide. I don't even remember everything I said, the full thing isn't on Youtube yet either.

Somehow the following ordeal was much worse than I ever could've imagined. It was more painful than in my worst nightmares. As a former San Franciscan I have witnessed peers get cancelled in high school, and the only thing I ever thought was, "I'll never let that be me."

God. I was so, so stupid.

It was a weekend of moralizing lectures, slow-burn breakup with two dear friends, and so so many tears from all involved. One acquaintance called me a TERF and talked down to me like I was an errant child. This Reddit account was passed around, and I was chastised for my comments on this subreddit; I knew that would happen one day but not in such a vicious and gossipy way.

The two close friends, who saved my life last year, were the hardest to lose. One of them reacted to my last text with a heart emoji, and the damn thing made me weep for half an hour. Because by losing her and her partner, I was losing a piece of my heart.

At our final meeting, she wept too. She stated that my views "came out of left field" and that I had "betrayed" her. I pushed back, perhaps a bit too harshly, because I felt threatened; I decried the affirmation model, my own autogynephilia, and medical transition for minors. This just made her cry harder. Sure enough, after it was over, they called my last close friend from the old group, attempting to get him to cut me off too. Thankfully he was sane; he disagrees with me, but stayed with me. My friendship with him is stronger than ever.

I was so, so stupid. This whole thing was way beyond that panel, way beyond my friend group, way beyond the jackass who burned my bridges. It's a culture war.

Sometimes I chide myself for appearing on that panel. I should've just shut up and held my tongue, I tell myself, and it would've all been okay.

But would it really have been okay? I hadn't had a coherent opinion on anything in my whole 21 years. I was your typical milquetoast, intellectual lightweight who never wanted to stir the pot. But this was the first issue that screamed at my conscience, that snapped me awake. It's the sort of thing that once you live it, you're cursed to tell that story forever.

Two weeks later, I'm forever ostracized from the group I'd been president of, the group I poured my heart and soul into. I'm deleting my Discord, which was how I communicated with all these people; I have until April 14th to revive it, but truth be told all the broken bonds there hurt too much now. The trans man who abused me and sexually assaulted me, meanwhile, is still openly celebrated in my former social group. His assault was simply a "personal matter."

But my sin was that I spoke out against the gender religion. And now I pay the price. Resilience is key, and I'm making new friends, but this is something I'll carry with me to the grave.

My heart mourns forever.
 
While identifying as a trans woman, I defended all the classic talking points with ferocity. They all worsened my cognitive dissonance and dissociation.
This is just confirming things we already knew, but I appreciate the insight he's providing here.
lesbians were the ultimate prize and ultimate affirmation. I felt like I was owed something.
This explains so much about the vitrol around "genital preferences".
Writing about my past psychology disgusts me. I am so, so sorry. To all those women and to any of you who just read that.
He seems pretty sincere throughout this post. I want to believe.

Previously I had been blaming other people for my ills, but I finally grappled with my own toxic entitlement.
It's not often you hear of someone with an external locus of control acquiring an internal locus of control later in life.
Troubled by my own thoughtcrimes, I saw a priest who specialized in psychotherapy.
New type of guy just dropped. Lol. ( I actually don't know if this is a common thing. I'm not Catholic.)
Confronting the foundational incident was very emotional and provided me a template for mindfulness that I still use daily.
It's good to know that there are some mental health practitioners who understand that you need to look at the root cause of things to really fix them. Sounds like this guy actually found a real therapist instead of the coddling enablers who call themselves "therapists" while encouraging their clients to get sicker.
. I was gonna rawdog it, changing my body without addressing any of my deep-seated psychological problems. Because I had gender dysphoria, that superseded everything.
It really is remarkable how you can just say "gender dysphoria" and everything else gets pushed to the back burner. What other condition is treated that way?
Over the following two weeks I then cultivated this stupid fantasy. I'd invite my old friend group, and they'd show up, and hear the emotion in my words, and maybe their hearts would be stirred
Oh my God. He's autistic.

Seriously though, feels bad, man.
I'd been the president of that group, and a trans woman, so I had some cred, right?

Right?
As a former San Franciscan I have witnessed peers get cancelled in high school, and the only thing I ever thought was, "I'll never let that be me."

God. I was so, so stupid.
Fuck, dude. Right in the feels.
But would it really have been okay? I hadn't had a coherent opinion on anything in my whole 21 years. I was your typical milquetoast, intellectual lightweight who never wanted to stir the pot. But this was the first issue that screamed at my conscience, that snapped me awake.
Courage is a virtue, you did the right thing.
Two weeks later, I'm forever ostracized from the group I'd been president of, the group I poured my heart and soul into.
The trans community and its allies are all one verbal slip up away from canceling each other at all times.
But my sin was that I spoke out against the gender religion. And now I pay the price. Resilience is key, and I'm making new friends, but this is something I'll carry with me to the grave.

My heart mourns forever.
That was actually pretty well written. I hope everything works out ok for him long term.
 
As a normal part of life you are eventually going to encounter someone who just doesn't see you the way you see yourself, or sees you in a way that's completely contradictory to who you actually are in reality.
The first thing that someone should be told upon announcing being trans is: Life isn't fucking fair.

If you're not one of the few trans people lucky enough to be able to pass, you're going to get those looks. You know the ones: the double take and the sly side-glances to confirm that people know exactly what you are. You're going to get rejected for normalcy time and time again because you've opted out from normal. You're no different to many people than someone who gets a lot of piercings or tattoos. And by the way, because of the more, shall way say, visible members of your selected peer group, you're going to be looked at harshly as a demanding, pissy, immature drama queen that's going to take people hostage over dumb things like pronouns and harmful things like having pervy men in women's spaces.

You can't force people to accept you as normal, at least, immediately, if you present as something that is demonstrably not only abnormal, but potentially problematic.
 
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