Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,379
It's a rhetorical question since it's Jack, but how the hell is mac und käse so difficult that you have to somehow lazify it? Even the extremely inexperienced me from 10 years ago wouldn't count that weird cheeto melt as a real dish, even if it was "tiktok famous" or whatever.
Jack's "Lazy Man Recipes" are so fucking weird because he somehow manages to make it not only more difficult than just doing it the normal way, but vastly worse at the same time. None of his shortcuts are even useful. They're usually just stupid and useless because he doesn't even know what he's trading off to be "lazy." My comparison would be when Cowboy Kent suggested using biscuit dough for Beef Wellington instead of fucking around with puff pastry.
 
It's a rhetorical question since it's Jack, but how the hell is mac und käse so difficult that you have to somehow lazify it? Even the extremely inexperienced me from 10 years ago wouldn't count that weird cheeto melt as a real dish, even if it was "tiktok famous" or whatever.
People will slap anything together to get views. They only call it lazy because that’s a search term thing you know. They don’t call popular things retarded.
 
Kraft Singles are good if you're using them on burgers, especially because of how they melt. High quality American cheese is great but like most things if you want to use it for actual good food you've got to get the good variety. I got some white American cheese from Boar's Head one time and it was great, like a more mild cheddar.
Kraft has so much of whatever emulsifier they use in it the stuff, 1 slice will actually work well to melt a lot of other types of cheese into decently smooth sauces pretty easily.
 
Jesus fuck did this turn into the British food thread?
When Jack decided to duck out of cooking or doing anything interesting since he felt the need to try to flex with his shitty toys. I don't blame people for preferring to shit on Oliver than watch Jack poorly grill burned and raw flesh.
Since people forgot the link.

He basically admits he's copying tiktok. Says he's going to eat it which.. isn't carnivore.

It's genuinely impressive that even Fatty thinks this is weird. The reality is it sounds fucking digusting, and his idea of using milk wouldn't make it any better.

He's saying not to use oil when boiling pasta, which is fine. But then he says not to salt the water... which is fucking retarded.

2:50 "its turned into like a cheese sauce" no it's a fucking disgusting hot bowl of watery cheese flavored breakfast cereal.
3:35 That looks fucking vile. Just use boxed mac and cheese.. "doesn't look that bad" if you thought it was going to be awful, why the fuck did you make a whole tray of the shit? He has Tammy eat it, but we know damn well he's going to chow down on this shit off camera. It's why he's made zero progress in 3 months of his carnivore bullshit.
I'm just happy he's doing something more than a shitload of fake product reviews to save the ego and eat a lot of meat. This is far more interesting than literally anything he's done for the last few months.

I'm gonna autopsy it as a result sometime later, since I've grown quite fond of a good mac n cheese and it sounds horrible.

Also he made a big fuck off batch because he's broken free of his shame induced diet forced on him by his brother. His childish desire to want more and food insecurity finally made him tard out and just stop bothering. He wanted to eat so much carbs that he'd die from the blood sugar content.
 
Also Utz Cheeseballs are absolutely disgusting. The powder gets everywhere when you're trying to eat them, it's nearly impossible to get out, the texture is basically just pure cornmeal, and the actual powder tastes only vaguely like cheese. It's kind of like the artificial grape of cheese. I know shredded sharp cheddar isn't the highest quality food but it's a million times better than that slop
Hot take: in my opinion, even for cheeseballs, Utz brand aren't very good. I bought one of the big barrels in college because yknow, college student and I was disappointed with how the texture and stuff was. I've had better ones from bargain bin brands at Big Lots.
 
THESE are where it's at. Best ones imo
Screenshot_20240406-024627~2.png
 
Since people forgot the link.

He basically admits he's copying tiktok. Says he's going to eat it which.. isn't carnivore.

It's genuinely impressive that even Fatty thinks this is weird. The reality is it sounds fucking digusting, and his idea of using milk wouldn't make it any better.

He's saying not to use oil when boiling pasta, which is fine. But then he says not to salt the water... which is fucking retarded.

2:50 "its turned into like a cheese sauce" no it's a fucking disgusting hot bowl of watery cheese flavored breakfast cereal.
3:35 That looks fucking vile. Just use boxed mac and cheese.. "doesn't look that bad" if you thought it was going to be awful, why the fuck did you make a whole tray of the shit? He has Tammy eat it, but we know damn well he's going to chow down on this shit off camera. It's why he's made zero progress in 3 months of his carnivore bullshit.
fork.jpg
What is this?

Jam it into a mains outlet and grab it, Jack. You know you want to.
Actually, it wouldn't even kill you because of your resistance.
FAT.
So basically Ohms Law is V=IR, the fatter someone is, the higher their resistance (R) will be, which means a very fat person could survive electrocution where a skinny person wouldn't.
I know, this joke was horrible.
 
Since people forgot the link.

He basically admits he's copying tiktok. Says he's going to eat it which.. isn't carnivore.

It's genuinely impressive that even Fatty thinks this is weird. The reality is it sounds fucking digusting, and his idea of using milk wouldn't make it any better.

He's saying not to use oil when boiling pasta, which is fine. But then he says not to salt the water... which is fucking retarded.

2:50 "its turned into like a cheese sauce" no it's a fucking disgusting hot bowl of watery cheese flavored breakfast cereal.
3:35 That looks fucking vile. Just use boxed mac and cheese.. "doesn't look that bad" if you thought it was going to be awful, why the fuck did you make a whole tray of the shit? He has Tammy eat it, but we know damn well he's going to chow down on this shit off camera. It's why he's made zero progress in 3 months of his carnivore bullshit.
Why make 3 pounds of it? The kids won’t eat that rancid shit
 
Why does he keep slapping his remaining arm down on the pasta box and the cheese balls tub? It’s fucking annoying.

Also, Mac n cheese is the world’s easiest meal isn’t it? Make a roux, slowly add the milk, bit of black pepper, let it simmer, stirring, stir the cheeses in at the end until melted, by then you’ve cooked your pasta al dente in another pot, all you have to do is combine them and off you go!

(Pro tip, for cheeses use mozzarella, parmesan and white cheddar. If you’re not lazy, add a little Dijon mustard to the roux before you start adding the milk. It just adds a little depth.)

And what’s with “let’s talk about cooking macaroni, whether it’s spaghetti, or whether it’s elbow macaroni, or rigatoni”. Does he even know these other types of pasta aren’t macaroni? Cause it sounds like he thinks they are all part of a “macaroni” species. For someone who claims to be a wog he sure is fucking dumb about pasta.
 
And what’s with “let’s talk about cooking macaroni, whether it’s spaghetti, or whether it’s elbow macaroni, or rigatoni”. Does he even know these other types of pasta aren’t macaroni? Cause it sounds like he thinks they are all part of a “macaroni” species. For someone who claims to be a wog he sure is fucking dumb about pasta.
Actually, I don't think this one is entirely due to Fatty being a retard. In the US, most pasta on the store shelves is labeled as "macaroni product" due to some old FDA regulation based off of some lazy naming from the early 20th century. So yeah, due to the FDA most pasta here does get categorized as if it were a "species" of macaroni, and this means he's at least read the packaging and at some point that stuck in what's left of his brain.

Anyway, the superior pasta to use for something like a good mac and cheese IMO would be something like cavatappi.
 
Actually, I don't think this one is entirely due to Fatty being a retard. In the US, most pasta on the store shelves is labeled as "macaroni product" due to some old FDA regulation based off of some lazy naming from the early 20th century. So yeah, due to the FDA most pasta here does get categorized as if it were a "species" of macaroni, and this means he's at least read the packaging and at some point that stuck in what's left of his brain.

Anyway, the superior pasta to use for something like a good mac and cheese IMO would be something like cavatappi.
Cavatappi is very good for a cheesy sauce, but another dummie recently told me it’s also “a type of macaroni” - these idiots…
 
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