Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

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  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,379
Jamie Oliver is basically a more commercially successful Jack Scalfani with a Bri'ish accent. His cooking is horrendous.
Jamie Oliver is also a pub cook. That's more or less his level. Guy managed to score a big deal on TV but in terms of a celebrity chef? He's a nobody.

And the only reason it's a "fight" is because the meat isn't fucking cooked...
If only we had learned to harness the power of fire properly to cook our food.

what the fuck did I just watch
This fucking hurt to watch.
Could Jack properly cook a Toast Sandwich?

View attachment 5878391
The fuck?

I've heard of a chip butty. I've heard of a spaghetti sandwich using canned spaghetti. I've heard of fucking beans on toast. But a toast sandwich?

How? How is that a thing?

I don't know, but he'd eat the whole thing off-camera anyway.
It's carnivore MOM!
 
The industrial revolution too, which gutted many rural and working class areas and ruined appreciation of good food through mass production becoming vogue and the only stuff much of the country could afford.
Historic British cuisine is great the problem is that very few areas of Britain remember how to actually cook it with their generational traditions having been destroyed and replaced with the low-quality poverty food they're now known for.

I'm curious if you can give some examples of historic British cuisine. When I search this on Google, they really just show what they've been eating for the last hundred years or so.
 
I'm curious if you can give some examples of historic British cuisine. When I search this on Google, they really just show what they've been eating for the last hundred years or so.
The Art of Cookery Made Plain and Easy is extremely extensive, published in 1747 so really pre-Industrial Revolution.
 
It's still better than literally anything Jack cooks.
>What's the state of Bri'ish cuisine
>Better than Cooking with Jack
>God save the Queen
>Actually don't, just smite that island out of existence

This fucking hurt to watch.
It's mind boggling, he spanked that lemon grass harder than an Asian father spanks his son in primary school for forgetting the Bessel Equations. Why do people do that?
He bothered to remove the seeds from the green chilies but the end result looked like literal slop. Why bother in the first place? Removing the seeds isn't going to make the thing less spicier.

The comments section didn't disappoint.
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I mean, if I were some Thai ladyboy I'd be crying too, I'd even kill myself, not due to being trans but due to this video, alone.
 
It's mind boggling, he spanked that lemon grass harder than an Asian father spanks his son in primary school for forgetting the Bessel Equations. Why do people do that?
He bothered to remove the seeds from the green chilies but the end result looked like literal slop. Why bother in the first place? Removing the seeds isn't going to make the thing less spicier.
Thai curry is possibly one of my favorite things especially when it's cold outside. Make it as a soup or over rice and it's awesome stuff. Loads of flavor, the right amount of spice. and sure I'll be the first to admit I use a ready made curry paste. But even I know what he showed? That's not how you make it.

I've made one thing that Jamie Oliver made that was legit. It's a pumpkin soup, super easy but there's some technique to it. The soup itself is basic but it's the preparation and the garnish that takes time. But so far, everybody I know likes it.
 
what the fuck is the point of this mac and cheese video, literally just buy a box of kraft. i cant imagine the ingredient list of the fake powder cheese sauce is that different from the cheese balls.
The thumbnail hurts to look at, him using AI for lazy man's thumbnails results in a floating spoon, cheese textured orange slices on a cutting board, a butter knife with vestigal cherries and a retardedly long sink spigot gushing into an oddly small pot of cooked macaroni on the kitchen island that is big enough to be a table.
 
what the fuck is the point of this mac and cheese video, literally just buy a box of kraft. i cant imagine the ingredient list of the fake powder cheese sauce is that different from the cheese balls.
I think cheese balls may have more oil. The most cursed part about that recipie is how theres no milk or butter at all, thats like half the texture!

Either way that wasn't very carnivore of him

also new jack soy face unlocked
jack soy face.png
 
Since people forgot the link.

He basically admits he's copying tiktok. Says he's going to eat it which.. isn't carnivore.

It's genuinely impressive that even Fatty thinks this is weird. The reality is it sounds fucking digusting, and his idea of using milk wouldn't make it any better.

He's saying not to use oil when boiling pasta, which is fine. But then he says not to salt the water... which is fucking retarded.

2:50 "its turned into like a cheese sauce" no it's a fucking disgusting hot bowl of watery cheese flavored breakfast cereal.
3:35 That looks fucking vile. Just use boxed mac and cheese.. "doesn't look that bad" if you thought it was going to be awful, why the fuck did you make a whole tray of the shit? He has Tammy eat it, but we know damn well he's going to chow down on this shit off camera. It's why he's made zero progress in 3 months of his carnivore bullshit.
 
He's saying not to use oil when boiling pasta, which is fine. But then he says not to salt the water... which is fucking retarded.
It might actually be a good idea if you're a total Strokey McStrokeface like he is. But it's not like he in general seems to care much about his nightmarish sodium instake. And salting the water (or adding something else that absorbs as the pasta rehydrates) is the only opportunity you get to have some flavoring INSIDE the pasta.

Of all the things not to add salt to, this fat fuck who has more sodium in him than Lot's wife decides pasta water is the place not to have it.
3:35 That looks fucking vile. Just use boxed mac and cheese..
Unless you're going to do that mac & cheese oven casserole thing with breadcrumbs and different kinds of cheese and maybe even those crunchy onions, just get those Velveeta boxes with the squeezy pouches. It isn't some huge undertaking. And it's better than whatever the fuck THAT shit was.
 
Unless you're going to do that mac & cheese oven casserole thing with breadcrumbs and different kinds of cheese and maybe even those crunchy onions, just get those Velveeta boxes with the squeezy pouches. It isn't some huge undertaking. And it's better than whatever the fuck THAT shit was.
You can make mac and cheese on the stove in 20 minutes if you know how to, the hardest part is just measuring out the amount of milk you need and adding a bunch of cheese. I've done it myself numerous times and you get a bunch of leftovers.

Also Utz Cheeseballs are absolutely disgusting. The powder gets everywhere when you're trying to eat them, it's nearly impossible to get out, the texture is basically just pure cornmeal, and the actual powder tastes only vaguely like cheese. It's kind of like the artificial grape of cheese. I know shredded sharp cheddar isn't the highest quality food but it's a million times better than that slop
 
I know shredded sharp cheddar isn't the highest quality food but it's a million times better than that slop
It's not that hard to shred it either. I would always still add in something like Velveeta or even some monstrosity like Kraft Singles, because just a little bit of that stuff makes other cheeses meltier.
 
or even some monstrosity like Kraft Singles
Kraft Singles are good if you're using them on burgers, especially because of how they melt. High quality American cheese is great but like most things if you want to use it for actual good food you've got to get the good variety. I got some white American cheese from Boar's Head one time and it was great, like a more mild cheddar.
 
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