Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Oliver Onions]

View attachment 5883726

View attachment 5883727
View attachment 5883731

Technicality Tomlinson here to correct the record: That is technically a garden. Enjoy the palette chairs, sitter.

Howling at his AirBNB avatar.
View attachment 5883779
No child, you did not smell pepperoni during your stay. You will give a 5-star review or enjoy prison.

POV: you got up for a piss during the night and inspected the sounds coming from inside the toilet.

All these snippets are awful but these two especially suck. His attempts to rip of Douglas Adams are the worst of all his humour.

Red Dwarf, American remake attempts are just embarrassing.

I could have happily lived the rest of my life never knowing they attempted to remake Red Dwarf.

There was even an attempt to do Peep Show with Johnny Galecki, and if he couldn’t do Mark, then no one can.

I feel like this is a project that Bob Odenkirk and David Cross could have made work if Peep Show had been around in the 80s/90s, but modern US sitcoms are so fucking bad I couldn't see any studio willing to tolerate Peep Show's pacing and extremely dry humour.

 

[Hitlerswag420]

He once attended some geek event where he was wearing only his bathrobe and there was a child right behind him in the picture. I'm not saying he's a confirmed child rapist but it is a little suspicious.

Without underwear

 

[Alabama Gamer]

Scrolling through Fatrick's (most likely) self-submitted quotes on Goodreads, I'm baffled at how some fellow Kiwis ever managed to make it through any of his books. He writes like a mentally-stunted teenager entering his edgy phase.

View attachment 5885577
In what world would a spacefaring (and presumably more advanced) alien race: 1) use or even be familiar with human time numbering systems, and 2) know what a "dick-measuring contest" is?

View attachment 5885586
He just can't go two sentences without saying "child." If this were any other person it wouldn't stand out so much but I can't help but hear his effeminate voice stalker childing me here. Also the optimistic tags and the singular like really point to this quote being self-submitted. I have a hard time believing anyone who isn't Patrick would find any of this remotely humorous.

View attachment 5885595
A rare moment of self-awareness, but of course completely unintentional. Strangely prescient however, as I'm sure waking up every day must be agonizing for him at this point.

View attachment 5885605

I'll be honest, the line about crossing the Uncanny Valley is actually pretty funny. Which means that he probably plagiarized it.

Heard this in a random YT video, and like a sleeper agent it woke something in me, and now I have to post this here
View attachment 5886194

Is that Jolly? Sounds like him.

 

[Markorian]

Without underwear
View attachment 5887830View attachment 5887832View attachment 5887833

The fact this (legally) childless 40 year old is showing up in nothing but a bathrobe to an event literally advertised for ages 5-12 makes it a hundred times worse.

 

[Something Awful]

Without underwear
View attachment 5887830View attachment 5887832View attachment 5887833

"Those are my pecks"? Does he think he's a bird? And what the fuck is that bathrobe picture? Can someone explain the context? Is it actually real or edited? Why did he think it was ok?

 

[grey area]

That photo of him in a bathrobe with the dour expression and kids behind him is honestly one of the most MATI-inducing pictures this side of prison. I don't understand why he would go down to a store dressed like that and then take a photo looking like a retard.

The expression of the family is one you'd expect when you cross paths with an abject weirdo, and the family probably felt stranger danger as the dad likely brought his kids closer to him.

The concept of shame will forever be foreign to Pat.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Is that Jolly? Sounds like him.

It is.

 

[Oliver Onions]

Based on public bathrobe revelations, I think we finally found the perfect lead for the Pat biopic.

Although probably not because Cousin Eddy was actually kind of likeable in spite of being an alcoholic retard.

 

[AnOminous]

I don't understand why he would go down to a store dressed like that and then take a photo looking like a retard.

It looks like he's wearing some kind of con badge. Is this the world's most pathetic cosplay as Arthur Dent?

 

[Post Reply]

Is this actually fatrick? The authors voice here is... changed. Unhinged, but not the same as xitter Fatrick.

Patrick was a gargantuan asshole on Twitter before being bullied into oblivion. This is how he acts when left to his own devices, it is something to behold.

 

[Catch The Rainbow]

The picture of the missing woman whose burned car was found next to the body parts



Fatrick's been busy it seems.

 

[AnOminous]

The picture of the missing woman whose burned car was found next to the body parts

What the fuck is wrong with Wisconsin and Milwaukee in particular? Jeffrey Dahmer and Walter Ellis ("the North Milwaukee Strangler"), Ed Gein, and now Fatrick "The Pepperoni Man" Hamlinson.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

It's like his parody Fonald Plumpf in Starship Repo - an animatronic Trump statue that selflessly sacrifices himself to save the main characters. Another good and decent character despite Patrick's efforts.

I refused to believe this was real. Tubby could not be this unoriginal. This was standard practice in soy drenched late 2010s media to have a parody of Trump be your bad guy. But Fatrick's rendition seems even more lazy (and fat).
https://app.thestorygraph.com/reviews/c7b9f7b2-1f6d-48b7-a04a-f5ced7a4634b

This was an enjoyable book... for about three-quarters of the way. The episodic nature of the narrative didn’t bother me at first, but I kinda grew tired of it by the end. Without an overarching plot, there wasn’t much character development, an emotional journey that’s reached by the end. The comedic references to real-life pop culture also wasn’t bothersome at first either.... until Fonald Plump (I don’t remember if that’s the correct spelling, but it rhymes with Donald Trump). The obvious caricature of Trump and the story of our heroic characters’ righteous deed felt more fun in theory, but not in practice. For me, it just felt heavy-handed and kind of childish.

Nope this fat fuck actually did a cwc pmurt thing. Patrick probably then proceeded to tell this stalker to enjoy prison for calling his book average.

 

[Suspicious Homo]

Based on public bathrobe revelations, I think we finally found the perfect lead for the Pat biopic.
View attachment 5887912
Although probably not because Cousin Eddy was actually kind of likeable in spite of being an alcoholic retard.

Her basement's startin to flood.

https://vocaroo.com/1dpaCP9Conn6

 

[Oliver Onions]

I refused to believe this was real. Tubby could not be this unoriginal. This was standard practice in soy drenched late 2010s media to have a parody of Trump be your bad guy. But Fatrick's rendition seems even more lazy (and fat).

The funniest thing about it to me was always that Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy actually has an unintentional Trump parody in Zaphod Beeblebrox. The first time I read the book a few years ago I instantly thought of Trump.

Spoiler: Zaphod Wiki Snippet

He was briefly the President of the Galaxy (a role that involves no power whatsoever, and merely requires the incumbent to attract attention so no one wonders who's really in charge, a role for which Zaphod was perfectly suited)

Patrick must have been furious that the perfect character had already been written by the man he self-admittedly ripped off with his shitty fanfiction. Although from what I recall Zaphod also has redeeming qualities so that wouldn't have suited Pat's one-dimensional writing style any way.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

The funniest thing about it to me was always that Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy actually has an unintentional Trump parody in Zaphod Beeblebrox. The first time I read the book a few years ago I instantly thought of Trump

That's the thing about Trump is he's already a walking talking movie trope. He was the evil real estate man who wanted to tear down the orphanage to make room for a mall parking lot in every 80s kid's movie. Now he's a trope for leftoids to represent political corruption and modern "fascism."

Past 2016, if you saw a fat, sleazy politician in an ill fitting suit with a bad spray tan, you immediately knew that was supposed to be Trump. The thing about satire is it needs to be subtle, like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. I only watched the movie and never read the book but something tells me Asmanov is a better scifi writer than Tomlinson.
Patrick is far too stupid (and fat) to do anything subtly. I'm surprised the character wasn't named Tonald Drump with Pat's lack of originality and subtlety.

 

[WelperHelper99]

What the fuck is wrong with Wisconsin and Milwaukee in particular? Jeffrey Dahmer and Walter Ellis ("the North Milwaukee Strangler"), Ed Gein, and now Fatrick "The Pepperoni Man" Hamlinson.

Chemicals in the water man, but instead of making you gay, you get the urge to eat black people.

 

[Hitlerswag420]

"Those are my pecks"? Does he think he's a bird? And what the fuck is that bathrobe picture? Can someone explain the context? Is it actually real or edited? Why did he think it was ok?

He went dressed up as the Douglas Adams character.

Btw, just got this in my inbox. Thanks for the reminder!

 

[y a t s]

>This is why your life is already over, stalker. Enjoy prison.

 

[Post Reply]

Patrick the agentless author might have a shot at getting Tiny Tim Goes to Mars published after all!


No, baby YouTube child, I don't give you the strikes. I just submit the false DMCA claims.


What prevents them Patrick? The law? It didn't stop them from walking across the border.