Megathread The Pooner Zoo - A thread for collecting wild Pooners and posting OC Pooners, and anything Pooner related

I knew there was a reason I stayed out of this subforum. My life is not at all enriched by my new knowlege of the existance of pooners, except now I won't have to keep silent when the term is brought up in conversation, something that I devoutly pray to GodBear will be rarely.
 
I know, right. Imagine being Rumer Willis. Poor kid.
Classic case of "if you were kind, intelligent, and stayed off the red carpet, you wouldn't be getting dragged for your butterface"
In addition to the lantern jaw and beady eyes, nobody has a "resting bitch face" as smug as this one
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e.g. this dysgenic goblin:
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Jennifer Lopez (Maori) x Marc Anthony = Brown mutt with a revealingly sulky resting face.
I forgot about this pairing. Describe some of these Hollywood family trees without mentioning names to play the game "Trailer Park or Hollywood?"

Homeless pooner gets mad that she isn't special enough when the shelter lets another true and honest dood run around on the male floor. Is subsequently kicked out.
Ingenious whore, that's what the non-passing "pooner" is.
 
Not to be catty but (I'm a cat) those kids aren't as gorgeous as their parentage would have predicted and being in the Hollywood circles probably fucks with your self image.

They're like Willis' kids. They all take after the strongest features of their father and it looks weird on girls.
 
They're like Willis' kids. They all take after the strongest features of their father and it looks weird on girls.
Yes, it's unfortunate. Bruce Willis would generally have been described as a fairly good looking man in his prime but that physiognomy does not work out well for girls.
I feel sad for them, because their mother is easily one of the most attractive women I could name.
 
Dumbass fucking Pooner finds out she's pregnant, tries to argue with the OB-GYN nurse that "but I'm a MAN how can I be pregnant as a MAN"
These silly little girls think they can "identify" their way out of objective reality.
Its the baby I feel sorry for, its going to be exposed in utero to toxic levels of artificial testosterone because you know this pregnant Pooner is gonna be too fucking stubborn and too fucking self important to do the right thing.
 
Dumbass fucking Pooner finds out she's pregnant, tries to argue with the OB-GYN nurse that "but I'm a MAN how can I be pregnant as a MAN"
These silly little girls think they can "identify" their way out of objective reality.
Its the baby I feel sorry for, its going to be exposed in utero to toxic levels of artificial testosterone because you know this pregnant Pooner is gonna be too fucking stubborn and too fucking self important to do the right thing.
I thought pooners already glorified the idea of a pregnant man to the point they made an emoji for it. It's a bit unusual for one to say a man can't be pregnant, because they usually believe there's no bodily function that's uniquely female and would invalidate them as transmen.
 
Yes, it's unfortunate. Bruce Willis would generally have been described as a fairly good looking man in his prime but that physiognomy does not work out well for girls.
I feel sad for them, because their mother is easily one of the most attractive women I could name.

It's not all him. Their mom used to have a potato head too.

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Dumbass fucking Pooner finds out she's pregnant, tries to argue with the OB-GYN nurse that "but I'm a MAN how can I be pregnant as a MAN"
These silly little girls think they can "identify" their way out of objective reality.
Its the baby I feel sorry for, its going to be exposed in utero to toxic levels of artificial testosterone because you know this pregnant Pooner is gonna be too fucking stubborn and too fucking self important to do the right thing.
“How is that possible? I’m a man” it might have something to do with the fact that you have ovaries and are having sex. Saying “I’m a man” doesn’t magically stop ovulation. How can anyone be this brain dead?

These people are constantly talking about “pregnant men” though?
 
“How is that possible? I’m a man” it might have something to do with the fact that you have ovaries and are having sex. Saying “I’m a man” doesn’t magically stop ovulation. How can anyone be this brain dead?

These people are constantly talking about “pregnant men” though?
That's a Poe. I'm convinced of it.

(That is, I can't abide the thought that the mind virus has become so lethal as to permit a perfectly erudite young woman to actually believe that shit she was saying.)
 
That's a Poe. I'm convinced of it.

(That is, I can't abide the thought that the mind virus has become so lethal as to permit a perfectly erudite young woman to actually believe that shit she was saying.)
It has to be. I don’t know how you can be this far down the rabbit hole and also don’t believe that “men can get pregnant” like they do.

If it is I hope that isn’t a real OBGYN who’s actually wasting her time on this ridiculous shit. Then again, some of these OBGYN’s outright lie to these people and then them their inside out penis is now magically a vagina.
 
Normally I'd agree but rational thought, logic and consistency ain't something Pooners are big on.
This isn't the first one I've seen meltdown because they find out their LARP has no effect on biological reality.
Theres another one I can't find again that might explain her retarded thought process, a Pooner freaking out on finding she's pregnant because she thought Testosterone would have prevented it. Says she hasn't had a period for 3 months she can't be pregnant.
I think she put the skipped periods down to the heccin' T Shots working when really theres much more likely answer, one of course didn't even occur to her.

A lot of Pooners and genderspecials think its some kind of Win card because "this just shows men can get pregnant" but the more insecure types freak out because it reminds them that they're women.

I think this particular one was trying to say "how can I walk round pregnant AS A MAN everyone will know I'm pretending."
It gives me a headache trying to make sense of them tbh.
 
Watched the first episode of the Fallout show and clocked the pooner instantly. How did they go backwards from F:NV having a normal lesbian in the Brotherhood of Steel to this nonsense? Where would she even get her heckin T shots? Does she have some kind of endocrine cancer from the radiation that made her look like a pooner? I wonder how or even if they'll explain.

eta: so far everyone else is using "they/them" for her. I don't know how the non-binary fad managed to happen and persist after the war in the Fallout world, especially when reproduction and repopulation (and therefore orienting community life around sex and child rearing) is such a big priority for both the Vault dwellers and the Brotherhood. Surely it'd be "nope, you're a woman, even if you haven't got knocked up yet".
 
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