Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

[Piga Dgrifm]

Craziest teacher I ever had was my science teacher for sixth and seventh grade. Once I scratched under my eye and she tried to have me suspended for making a 'teardrop gang symbol'. I still have no idea what the fuck that was about. She also got really angry if you finished with your test in under thirty minutes or in over forty five minutes

 

[MysticMisty]

The final high school principal I had had some odd ideas about school spirit. I only attended one high school, but in four years I had three different principals. The first once lasted through my freshman year but left during the summer break. I have no idea how long he'd been at my school before then. The second one made it through my entire sophomore year, but left halfway through my junior year. I don't know if she was fired, transferred, or just quit but either way after Christmas our new principal was Mr. Purple.

So one day late in the year we were herded into the auditorium for an assembly headed by Mr. Purple personally. So what did he have to tell us that was so important he had to cut every class short for a day? To yell at everyone for wearing black. According to Mr. Purple by wearing black we're insulting the school and all it's staff as well as the sport teams and cheerleaders. He then proceeded to whine about how at his previous school(s) everybody wore the school colors "all the time" but he hadn't witnessed that here. Probably because our colors were mustard yellow and forest green.

I didn't even think there was a high percentage of students wearing black on a daily basis. Sure we had the goth and emo groups, but that was a total of 50 kids at the most. I'd be shocked if there were 100 people wearing black every day, even with a student body near/over 1000. Even 70 seems like a stretch.

So yeah, Mr. Purple managed to yell at the school for about an hour over black. And for all his bitching about black he didn't bother to change the alternative uniforms for the teams/cheerleaders, which were predominately black.

Incidentally Mr. Purple isn't just my name for him, it's what everyone referred to him as in private. He earned this nickname the first few weeks at my school, when someone who didn't know his name yet called him Mr. Purple because of a tie he wore that day. Mr. Purple lost his shit and gave the guy detention. As you can see colors were kind of an issue for him for some reason.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Since we're on the subject of school insanity, I've got a treasure trove of it. I was sent to a really shitty school for a while. (second through ninth grade). Just off the top of my head, here are some of the weirdest things I can remember.

*There was a yearly field trip to go watch a tourism ad for the city everyone attending the school already lived in.

*They took the lockers away from the middle/high school students because they 'couldn't trust us'. The lockers were then given to the kindergarteners. Middle/high schoolers were given those plastic milk crate things to keep their stuff in.

*The library for the middle/high school section of the school consisted of children's picture books, whereas the elementary school portion's library mainly had books on Hitler's rise to power, and textbooks that would be much more useful to an older kid.

*They tore down all the stall doors in the bathrooms after kids started hanging off of them and drawing on them.

*Every year, they would measure our heights and weights and compare it to a chart to make sure we were at healthy weights. I was a lot shorter than everyone else in my class, and the chart didn't go down to my height. So, they just went with the lowest height available, when I didn't weigh as much as a person half a foot taller than me, this cued a three month long 'yer totally bulimic, Piga' from the school counselors.

*During the 2008 presidential election, one teacher took it upon herself to talk about how McCain would literally kill us all, you guise. She was not fired for this, but another teacher was fired for showing the movie Wall Street to his Economics class.

*They banned kids bringing lunches from home, claiming it was healthier to eat at the school, which served the same meal everyday; chicken nuggets, tater tots and a piece of hard candy. All this nutrition could be yours for the low, low cost of 7.95 every day. They were then utterly baffled by the fact most kids weren't eating anything at lunch.

*There was also a piece of a tater tot stuck in the drain grate of a sink in one of the bathrooms. It was there for years, and it never changed color or decayed in any way.

 

[AnOminous]

My junior high school had one of those clowns who have a Ph.D. in education, the dumbest Ph.D. you can possibly get, but insisted on being called "Doctor." Everyone in the school hated him, even the other teachers. He was a creepy pervert and would hit on 13 and 14 year old girls constantly with creepy innuendo. Anyone who did that kind of shit currently would end up sacked and possibly a registered sex offender, but he was such a joke that nobody took it seriously.

One day, he forgot to zip up his pants and his zipper was down the entire day from first period on. Everyone, even the other teachers, were laughing about it all day and not a single person told him, although they mocked him to his face about it, gratuitously using phrases like "XYZ" that he was too dumb to get.

He also constantly wore these ridiculous polyester pants in bright colors with shirts that clashed so much it was like he was color blind.

Despite this he thought he was one of the "cool" teachers even though people made fun of him right to his face without him understanding it.

 

[lemongrab]

First, my ex's wife.

Apparently she's moved on to the point where she no longer talks to her husband. She posted on Facebook about how she couldn't feed her kid breast milk, and whined on several Facebook pages about it. Sadly, this front has been pretty quiet otherwise, but I'm trying to see if she's going to divorce my ex, which is hilarious, because she married that loser in the first place, and he's supposed to be done with prison... except that he has nowhere to live (no family members want to be bothered with him) and is looking at civil confinement.

Next, my ex's former best friend.

She managed to find a job and housing out in North Carolina, but hasn't changed much else. She mostly just whines on Facebook when not at work,and it's only cringe some of the time. Oh, and she was diagnosed as Bipolar.

 

[Darwin Watterson]

While we're talking about teacher lolcows, there was one guy who frequently substituted at my school named Mr. Fischer. Mr. Fischer was so incompetent at his job that he practically achieved mythical status among my classmates.

Given the large number of people I've written about, you might think that I went to some kind of sped school or something. I didn't, but if you saw this guy, you'd be forgiven for thinking that. He looked like a stereotypical sex offender: overweight, balding gray hair, Chris glasses, ugly sweaters, and a thick gray mustache. He was, as Patton Oswalt would say, "b-word fat" and he was really hard to understand as a result. On at least one occasion, he actually fell asleep while standing up. He also routinely got the names of things wrong. Example: the regular teacher of one class was showing The Polar Express because it was close to Christmas at the time. It, of course, took several days to finish and he was there for one of them, in which we watched "The Polar Bear Express" instead. These mistakes would often cause people to get lower scores on tests, and teachers would eventually just re-do the lessons he was there for because he didn't know what the fuck he was doing.

Eventually, he got fired. I'm not exactly sure why he got fired, because there were two different stories for it. One was that he unwittingly showed the unrated version of a movie to a class he was teaching, and neglected to fast-forward through a sex scene. Another was that he got caught perving on the girls (who'd have been about 13 or 14 at the time). Either way, he ended up getting banned from the district.

And the reason I've got so many of these is because my graduating class was enormous. Most of us were normal, but because of its large size, that meant that there were more tards as well.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Just remembered some other incidents from my school:

* There was a service learning class, which basically amounted to an hour of a woman telling us that pollution is-- get this-- not good. This class was held every day for sixth to eighth grade. Anyway, they decided that the service learning class needed to go out and do something about this pollution thing. So, they had us gather up all the recycling from the classrooms and put them into a large bag. Next, we'd be piled into the ancient school bus that constantly spewed smoke into the atmosphere and drive to the other end of the city to put a couple bags of paper scraps into the large recycle bin at the community college. Brilliance, I say. Sheer brilliance.

*A teacher's Facebook account was hacked (read: she left it open.) and the lyrics to a swear-filled rap song were posted from it. What's the logical response to such a crime against humanity? Send every student that knows about the spooky scary Internet (and, presumably, the hacker known as 4chan) down to the principal's office for questioning. Many kids were given detention in spite of no evidence linking them to the incident, and the school decided no student could be trusted with a Facebook account, the principal promised to monitor Facebook and suspend any student she caught using it. I have no idea.

*This was in one of the warmest states in the US, many days reaching into the upper 90's or early 100's. Up until I was in the sixth grade, there was no indoor gym, so gym class was held out on the sweltering, black pavement. Gym class was always held in the middle of the day, so kids would inevitably return to the second half of their classes sweaty, irritable and tired. And then, towards the end of my sixth grade year, we got the news we'd been waiting for! They'd finally finished building the indoor gymnasium! So, no more running around in the hot sun, right? Wrong! The gym may have been built, but there would be no using it, back outside with ya! They instead used the gym as the new in-school-suspension room.

*Building off the last issue, there was also a time when the water fountains broke. No problem, just bring water from home, right? Nope, just like lunches, you were not allowed to bring in your own water bottles. Someone must have watched a few too many teen comedies because they were utterly convinced that, if given the ability to bring in a water bottle, we'd all be smuggling in vodka. You could buy a water bottle from the cafeteria though. For two dollars. And you were not allowed to refill them. (Pollution is bad, ya hear?)

 

[RI 360]

There's this guy I never actually met in person who was somehow enfolded into my online social circle. He made all the women interacting in the group extremely uncomfortable, going as far to invite himself over their houses for sleepovers. He was married at the time (it would soon be in shambles), would interject all sorts of awkward sexual innuendos in reply to absolutely anything a woman had said and was sure to punctuate it with a bunch of winky emojis. Anyway, his wife wound up divorcing him and he was homeless for a while and would post all sorts of crazy, raving, oversharing facebooks statuses. My favorite being the time he was robbed and stabbed by a prostitute, I'll try to find that one later (it was years ago) but he just produced what is now my new favorite copy pasta:

"I must respectfully say that just because I support the Republican party platform over the Democrats at this time, I DO NOT SUPPORT MR. TRUMP'S REMARKS, HIS STUBBORNNESS, OR HIS LACK OF HUMILITY. WE DON'T HAVE MANY VIABLE CHOICES HERE. YOU CAN SAY MANY NEGATIVE THINGS ABOUT BOTH CANDIDATES. I AM NOT TRUSTING THEIR OUTWARD APPEARANCE, BUT WHAT THEIR ISSUES ARE AND WHAT IS GOING ON UNDERNEATH IN BOTH PARTIES. EVEN THOUGH TRUMP HAS HAD BAD DEALINGS WITH PAYING TAXES, HANDLING EMPLOYEES AND CONTRACTORS, AND WOMEN AS ACCUSED, HILLARY HAS BEEN FIRED FOR LYING AND ATTEMPTING TO CONSPIRE AGAINST THE CONSTITUTION AND HOUSE RULES WHILE SHE WAS AN ATTORNEY FOR THE HOUSE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE, AND SHE HAS BEEN CAUGHT IN THIS CAMPAIGN IN SEVERAL LIES INCLUDING ACCUSING DONALD OF THOSE SAME LIES. SHE ORIGINALLY WANTED A WALL, NOW SHE DENIES IT AND SAYS SHE WANTS A BRIDGE. WHY DOES SHE WANT ALL THOSE UNVETTABLE SYRIANS IN THIS COUNTRY? WHY DOES SHE MAKE NO DISTINCTION BETWEEN IMMIGRANTS THAT ARE GOING THOUGH THE PROCESS OF THE PATH TOWARD CITIZENSHIP, AND THOSE WHO HAVE CROSSED OVER ILLEGALLY? IF WE DON'T STOP AND CHECK WHO THESE PEOPLE ARE, THEY COULD BE CARRYING IN DISEASES WE ERADICATED YEARS AGO. Heroin has wiped out the lives of many young people in our communities and now there is a new drug 10,000 times more powerful called W18 that is coming across the border. The Border Patrol and ICE both support Trump. THE SCREENING PROCESS WAS DESIGNED TO PROTECT US. EVER GO THROUGH CUSTOMS AT THE AIRPORT?
I AM PISSED AT HER LACK OF CONCERN FOR THE SAFETY OF OUR COUNTRY. 30,000 EMAILS, SOME EXPOSING SENSITIVE INTELLIGENCE INFORMATION TO FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS, PUTTING AGENT'S LIVES AT RISK. BENGHAZI, WHERE SHE IGNORED HUNDREDS OF PLEAS FOR SECURITY CONCERNS AND THEN WHEN THEY WERE ATTACKED FOR 13 HOURS, DENIED SENDING HELP IN WHICH THEY KILLED 3 SOLDIERS AND TOOK THE EMBASSADOR AND STRIPPED HIM AND RAPED HIM AND TORTURED HIM UNTIL HE WAS DEAD AND THEN DRAGGED HIS BODY THROUGH THE STREETS. HOW ABOUT ALLOWING PARTIAL BIRTH ABORTION, WHERE THEY TAKE A BABY THAT IS FULLY DEVELOPED AND ABOUT TO BE BORN(PARTIAL BIRTH) AND CUT THEM UP AND SEPARATE THEM INTO PIECES SO THAT THEY CAN REMOVE THEM(NOT IT) WITHOUT ANESTHETIZING THEM! DAMMED RIGHT IM MAD, AND SO IS TRUMP, RIGHTFULLY SO. IF YOU WAIT THAT LONG TO DECIDE YOU DON'T WANT THE BABY, YOU SHOULDN'T BE ALLOWED TO KILL A PERFECTLY HEALTHY CHILD. ( yes, there are life and death exceptions, but NO EXCUSES) IT'S BARBARIC. THAT CHILD IS ALIVE AND THINKING AT THAT POINT. THIS IS WHY I TAKE THE STAND THAT I DO. I am not alone. People that many have long respected, Dr.Carson, Dr.Dobson and Billy and Frankin Graham have said the same. Them nor I support Trump's personality, just his platform."

 

[TowinKarz]

Headache Incarnate, that one.....

 

[MysticMisty]

This was in one of the warmest states in the US, many days reaching into the upper 90's or early 100's. Up until I was in the sixth grade, there was no indoor gym, so gym class was held out on the sweltering, black pavement. Gym class was always held in the middle of the day, so kids would inevitably return to the second half of their classes sweaty, irritable and tired. And then, towards the end of my sixth grade year, we got the news we'd been waiting for! They'd finally finished building the indoor gymnasium! So, no more running around in the hot sun, right? Wrong! The gym may have been built, but there would be no using it, back outside with ya! They instead used the gym as the new in-school-suspension room.

I know that one quite well. Despite living in the southern Arizona desert they didn't build a gym for my middle school. Even before they broke ground for the school the district didn't give a shit about it, unfortunately. By the time I was enrolled there it had a well deserved reputation for being a shithole and unsurprisingly budget cuts within the last eight years finally gave them an excuse to close it down.

Anyhow today's story is about my 6th grade math teacher. I'd really like to write about the class sperg in 4th grade, but I'm pretty sure a 10 year old sperg is off limits. Anyways I've talked about this teacher before a little in the Connor thread, but there's more than enough material for a dedicated in-depth post.

Spoiler: Long

So, Mr. Fatty gets the distinction of being the worst teacher I ever had, which is really saying a lot. I knew these two guys at the time who were 7th graders and both had Mr. Fatty the year before. They warned me about how awful his class would be, but unfortunately my middle school never allowed transfers to other classes. Probably because teachers like Mr. Fatty wouldn't have a class left if they did. But to be honest chances are the other teachers wouldn't have been a whole lot better anyways because as previously stated, the district didn't care about this school so any decent teacher there was an anomaly (and probably transferred to a better school at the first possible chance).

Unlike pretty much every other teacher I've had, Mr. Fatty lacked a general sense of authority. This does not mean that he was a pushover, as he would immediately come down on anyone who misbehaved. This in fact was his downfall. Because he lacked any feeling of authority telling someone to be quiet not only resulted in being ignored but a general sense of amusement. Ultimately it would rapidly snowball into Mr. Fatty screaming at the entire class, which in turn would ignore, mock, and laugh at him. And it happened every single day, in less than five minutes. 30 seconds if the prior class had him really pissed off.

Mr. Fatty did more than just yell. Every day at least one of the worst offenders would eventually be sent to the office, and often it would be several, which really emphasis the lack of control he had. Sometimes when he'd get really pissed he'd kick out random students who weren't actively antagonizing him, just to blow off steam I guess. So everyone got sent to the office at least once, even if all you did was stifle a giggle. And really, when Mr. Fatty started to yell and scream it was really hard not to laugh.

At some point in the past the ISS room was assigned to the tiny room right next to Mr. Fatty's class. It wasn't your standard room, but one of those ones that have temporary walls unless you needed a larger classroom. And yes, the temporary wall was the one up against his class. This meant that any kid spending time in ISS/lunch detention/regular detention (possibly thanks to Mr. Fatty himself) got free entertainment in the form of Mr. Fatty yelling all day, every day. One of the guys who had him the year before told me about how once was sitting in ISS (courtesy of Mr. Fatty) and early in the day heard some kid cuss him out and call him the worst fucking teacher ever. Mr. Fatty lost his shit and a short time later the kid showed up in ISS. At the end of the day when they were dismissed everyone in ISS congratulated him for having the balls to call him all that. And, you know, great entertainment too.

One day when the class was uncharacteristically quiet I accidentally dropped my pencil. As I was bending/leaning over to picked it up Mr. Fatty started screaming directly behind me. I don't know if it was me he was yelling at (for picking up a pencil) or someone else, but either way I was startled enough to fall out of my chair. Mr. Fatty was convinced I did it on purpose and promptly sent me to the office.

The next day as I headed into lunch detention I could already hear Mr. Fatty screaming away next door. Something about not letting the class leave for lunch until he says so. I'm pretty sure that's not allowed, but it's not like he ever got in trouble for punishing innocent students. We could hear Mr. Fatty go into his office, and things got quiet, except for the giggles coming from the students next door. All of a sudden there were several large crashes, enough to make the temporary wall actually shake, and Mr. Fatty burst out of his office yelling at the top of his lungs. Some months later I became friends with someone from that particular class and found out what happened. After Mr. Fatty went into his office they rearranged the chairs into a path around the tables and started to crawl under them. Some fat kid got stuck under one of them and it fell over, into the stack of excess chairs up against the temporary wall. All the chairs came crashing down and they fled out of the room as Mr. Fatty was coming out of his office. She said his face was so red she thought he was going to have a stroke or heart attack.

I'm sure many of you are probably wondering what happened with homework and tests. Well for homework he'd always have it assigned on the white board every day despite maybe getting in a few minutes of actual lessons per week. Tests were effectively the same as every other day, same amount of yelling and laughter. Needless to say every single one of Mr. Fatty's classes had a 100% fail rate. But except for maybe the most severe fuckups everyone still moved onto 7th grade. I suspect the office was completely aware of how much of a failure Mr. Fatty was, but they couldn't fire him either. So they just moved everyone along and probably hoped he'd quit soon.

Epilogue: One day during my freshman year my mom called me over. "This was you teacher, wasn't it?" she asked while pointing at an article. Sure enough it was Mr. Fatty. He was arrested in one of the city parks after dropping his pants to an undercover cop in an attempt to fuck him.

 

[NailsOnAChalkboard]

I spotted this one during a dormitory meeting at the beginning of this semester.

Shorter girl with glasses. Always wears these "Little House on the Prarie" type dresses in patterns you'd find on antique furniture. Pretty sure she was homeschooled.

Since this was the beginning of the year spiel, we went over floor damages/charges and this girl starts flipping the fuck out when the RAs warn about charges for having to call in the janitor for vomit.

In the greatest act of TMI, she goes on a rant about how she has an "undiagnosed condition" relating to spewing all over the place. Doesn't go into much detail about it (thank god), but for some reason decides that we need a full explanation of where she's gone and who she's seen about it. It was something like "I've been to every doctor from X to Y! Well, from Z to Y. And not every doctor" etc. Basically a bunch of shit no one needs to know.

RAs had to try pretty hard to get her to shut up even after insisting they could talk about it after the meeting.

I have absolutely no clue what's up with this girl and whether or not she has a contagious disease, but it's funny as fuck to watch. As far as I know, no one's puked in my dorm this year so I'm pretty sure she's faking. Which makes this even funnier

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Teachers, eh? Well, may I introduce you all to Dr Puritz.

Dr Puritz taught maths. He actually was a TRUE AND HONEST doctor of mathematics and his research still got cited and he still got correspondence about it even to that day. Unfortunately while he may have been an excellent mathematician and while those kids who were genuinely really good at and fascinated by maths (of which I wasn't one - I was good at it, but found it more of an uphill struggle to be interested in it) sang his praises and respected him for his colossal brain, keeping a class of 15 year olds on topic was beyond his capabilities.

It didn't help that he was really, genuinely, weird.

For a start, he was a huge God Botherer and had, reportedly, an extremely chunksome Nigerian wife who by the sound of things probably got him into the evangelical happy-clappy speaking-in-tongues church scene. Outside of taking maths classes, his contribution to the life of the school was trying to push us all six inches closer to salvation. HE would do a thing called "Δialogue" (always with the upper case Delta instead of a normal D) in which he would drone at you in the corner of a classroom all lunchtime about why you need to be saved. He also once brought in a bunch of God Botherers from outside whose antics in trying to get us to find Jesus are lolworthy in their own right.

His God Bothering took some very strange turns, and we quickly learnt these turns to derail lessons. For a start, he hated oranges. He believed they were sinful somehow though we never got to the bottom of why this was. So, every lesson without fail, an orange would be left on his desk.

He was a Young Earth Creationist. He believed that God put the fossils in the ground as a secret test of faith. When asked how we could see the light from distant stars more than 6,000 LY away, he said that God created these distant stars with the light already in transit. We managed to derail an entire double lesson on these two points, and as such failed to learn anything about differential calculus.

He was very much of the NO, SEX, UNTIL, MARRIAGE! persuasion. Once again, derailment was possible by grilling him on this. Or on why homosexuality is wrong and bad. Or on why abortion was murder. And so on and so forth.

However, the reason he was no good as a teacher was that he completely had no ability to control a horde of 15 year olds. We'd all just talk over him especially when he wanted to set a test, upon where we'd all chorus, "Test?! Test?!" to try and evade it or at least put it off. Once he cottoned on to that and started ignoring us, we'd go, "Quiz?! Quiz?!" instead. He failed to speak up at any time and as such half the class never heard what the shuddering fuck he was on about. And if the level of background noise got too much when it shouldn't have, he'd call out, "If you're talking, please stand up." The intention being that he'd detention anyone who stood up. Either nobody stood up, or everyone did.

Oh, and just to add to all this, he had a really weird accent, which I can only describe as autistic slightly Germanic droning.

Oh, and he was boss-eyed.

How any of us passed our exams I will never know.

 

[SPARKLETWAT]

Spoiler: The Tourettes Dude

About a year ago I had a young guy with Tourettes come in because he had a new tic that made him shape his hand like a pretend finger gun and poke the side of his head. He ticced when he was holding a pencil and jabbed his eye with the lead. Yeah ouch.

With Tourettes anxiety triggers more tics and certain tics get triggered by environments or people like somebody yelling BOMB in an airport or PIG at a cop. The cussing tics are rare but people who have those tics post a lot more and that is why it looks like they all cuss constantly.

He had the coprolalia and copropraxia and kept flipping me the bird or making jack off gestures and saying FATTY and N I G G E R and HELLO NURSE when telling me how he hurt his eye. I ignored the tics after I said I knew he had no control of them. They got so intense he had to be sedated to have his eye looked at properly because one of his tics jerked his head down till his cheek touched his shoulder and it kept happening when I opened the sore eye to look for bleeding.

He severely scratched his cornea but didn't hurt the rest of his eye so he got antibiotic eyedrops and a patch to protect the eye from infection and tics. He came back a week later and gave me a gift card for the trouble because he felt bad about ticcing N I G G E R at me. Class act, man.

Btw N I G G E R wasn't his best tic no his best ones were BATMAN LIKES PONIES and BRONIES DID 9/11. I almost pissed myself laughing.

Edited to fix a word because the word filter changed a word and fucked up the post.

 

[Aquinas]

I'd honestly wager that something as uncontrollable as that doesnt make a lolcow

 

[SPARKLETWAT]

I'd honestly wager that something as uncontrollable as that doesnt make a lolcow

He had the ward laughing after we got his eye taken care of. His randomness made him funny plus he was okay with us laughing. I kept myself serious till we had him in the clear.

Tourettes itself isn't a joke but the really random shit they tic out is funny as hell sometimes and it's fine to laugh if they think it's funny too. Do they still count as an lolcow if they think they're funny and milk themselves? Cuz this guy did,that's why I remember him better than most of the methfags I babysat.

Edit: I found a video of two guys with Tourettes watching a video of somebody with Tourettes and triggering their tics on purpose for lulz. They laugh like hell at themselves with the other people that are filming them.

 

[AnOminous]

I'd honestly wager that something as uncontrollable as that doesnt make a lolcow

Anyone who randomly says shit like "BRONIES DID 9/11" is cool in my book.

 

[Darwin Watterson]

With tomorrow being Election Day, I can only imagine the story I'll have for you once Hillary wins. To be honest, I'm for Trump myself, but I recognize that he's a shitty choice too. If there's one positive I can take away from this shit show of an election, it's been watching my cousin spiral further into madness as a passenger of the "Trump Train."

 

[Steamboat_Bill]

With tomorrow being Election Day, I can only imagine the story I'll have for you once Hillary wins. To be honest, I'm for Trump myself, but I recognize that he's a shitty choice too. If there's one positive I can take away from this shit show of an election, it's been watching my cousin spiral further into madness as a passenger of the "Trump Train."

What if she doesn't? What kind of story will you have for us then?

 

[Darwin Watterson]

What if she doesn't? What kind of story will you have for us then?

Probably one filled with I told you so's and general smugness.

 

[Adamska]

Probably one filled with I told you so's and general smugness.

But will he chimp when he isn't able to Make America Great Again?