- Joined
- Mar 11, 2019
Seems like he's getting back into things
The Mysterious Mr. Enter / Jonathan Rozanski's "Growing Around" - IndieGoGo Campaign Failed, John going off the deep end, "Turning Red" is ignorant about 9/11 (later retracted)
BlackPuppetUnlimited
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2023
Wait but didn't Pan and everyone mock Enter on an episode of their podcast? Then he fired back.
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2022
Saberspark is a toddler cartoon-watching furfag what did you expect
soulgains
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
This is still one of the most unintentionally hilarious videos I've ever seen. John was like 3 tiers below BenTheLooney's "Ben Strikes Back" video in terms of spergery with this one
Battlefield2142EU
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2022
At least with my little pony the main characters were young adults. Sabersparks spooning with a underage dog.
This is what happens when creepy groomer manchildren spend leisure time watching preschool shows
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2022
A new script for another new property.
In this episode, after everyone he's ever known and loved is killed by aliens (including his gay coded friend who's named after Enter's dead dog,) a 16 year old boy named Cedar is taken on board a spaceship occupied entirely by unsupervised teenagers, including his long lost childhood best friend and a teenage sex robot. Yes, really.
Apparently, Enter hopes to bill this under the same studio as Growing Around and Forgotten Nightmares. He describes it as a direct analogue for his own goals in reconnecting with old friends.
In this episode, after everyone he's ever known and loved is killed by aliens (including his gay coded friend who's named after Enter's dead dog,) a 16 year old boy named Cedar is taken on board a spaceship occupied entirely by unsupervised teenagers, including his long lost childhood best friend and a teenage sex robot. Yes, really.
Apparently, Enter hopes to bill this under the same studio as Growing Around and Forgotten Nightmares. He describes it as a direct analogue for his own goals in reconnecting with old friends.
[We begin with our main character, Cedar Haro. Age 16, stripped shirt, overly long jacket above it, baggy pants. Long unkept hair put in a small ponytail. He steps into the lobby of his High School. Cedar is looking into a book.]
Cedar: Three eggs, lightly stirred—
[His friend, Patrick walks in. Cedar notices this and quickly shoves the book in his backpack.]
Patrick: Another day of chasing tail, am I right?
[Cedar looks at him, annoyed.]
Cedar: Dude, you reek of pot.
Patrick: Want some?
Cedar: N-no.
Patrick: Come on, man, you need to lighten up and live a little.
Cedar: Considering that I’m the one who’ll be paying your bail money someday—
Patrick: Live a little, Cedar. This is high school. It’s supposed to be the best years of our life.
Cedar: So you’re saying it’s all down hill from here, then?
[A guy in a football outfit storms into the hallway. He looks angry and is looking around. This is James.]
James: Cedar Haro, where is he!?
Cedar: I appear to be late for class.
[Cedar runs off.]
Patrick: Hey wait!
[Cut to Cedar standing by his locker, pulling out books.]
Patrick: Don’t you think that maybe the first place James would look is your locker?
Cedar: That’s why I’m here.
[Cedar looks around the hallway corner.]
Patrick: I don’t get it.
Cedar: My locker is a place that is so obvious that I’d have to be the stupidest person on Earth to hide here. And James knows that I’m not that stupid, ergo he won’t be looking for me at my locker.
[Patrick smokes a blunt.]
Patrick: Makes sense to me (cough). What’d you do anyway?
Cedar: Tore off his car mirror.
Patrick: The hell’d you do that for?
Cedar: I didn’t mean it, I was on my bike and—
Patrick: You know, maybe you just wouldn’t have this problem if you lightened up and got your goddamn license. But maybe that’s just me.
Cedar: You know I can’t go behind the wheel—
Patrick: You go through the wall of a pharmacy one time, it’s not the end of the world. Seriously man, if you’re such a stick in the mud, I ain’t going to be sticking around.
Cedar: What are you getting at now?
[Patrick takes Cedar in a half hug and moves his gaze across the hallway to a girl by her own locker.]
Patrick: Stacy, right?
Cedar: What about Stacy.
Patrick: I’ve seen those fuck me eyes you been giving her in geometry.
[Cedar breaks away.]
Cedar: S-so?
Patrick: Ask her out to lunch.
Cedar: What—No. I can’t do that!
[Patrick puts his arms behind his head and leans back.]
Patrick: I suppose we could wait for her to ask you out then.
Cedar: Y-yeah, we’ll do that.
[Patrick rolls his eyes.]
Patrick: Ask her out.
Cedar: N-no, I can’t.
Patrick: Ask her out… or I’ll…
Cedar: [Under his breath] You’ll fucking traumatize her if you do that.
Patrick: Ask her out, or… I’ll ask you out. Right here in front of everyone. And it won’t be a problem anymore.
Cedar: I hate you so much.
Patrick: Well I really think I love you.
[Cedar rushes off towards Stacy. Camera pans to show that another girl was watching them the whole time, looking very bewildered.]
Patrick: [Flirty] Hey.
[The girl scoffs walks away. Cut to Cedar walking up to Stacy.]
Stacy: Can I uh… help you?
[Cedar basically deflates immediately.]
Cedar: Uh… hi.
Stacy: Hi.
Cedar: Hi.
Stacy: You’re Cesar, right?
Cedar: Cedar, actually. It’s a type of tree.
[Stacy shakes her head and walks away, leaving Cedar feeling aggravated with himself. Patrick walks up to him, smiling and with a new black eye. He puts his arm around Cedar.]
Patrick: It’s a tree, huh?
[Cut to Patrick and Cedar at lunch. Cedar is regretfully staring at Stacy. Stacy is talking with her friends. She turns to Cedar, and Cedar quickly ducks down behind the napkin dispenser. Patrick looks annoyed.]
Patrick: I think you threw her off the scent. Either talk to her. Or don’t.
Cedar: I’m just… waiting for the right time, okay?
Patrick: That worked out great with Ursa, huh?
[Cedar slowly picks his head up.]
Cedar: Ursa? She wasn’t— she was a kid I played with way back in like… fourth grade or something.
Patrick: Sure…
[Cut to a flashback. Cedar and Ursa are fourth graders, playing in a backyard. Ursa is a girl with long brown hair, green eyes, and is wearing an astronaut costume with a star headband.]
Ursa: Okay, so that alien has kidnapped teddy. And the Galactic Defense Force isn’t going to send us reinforcements.
[Pan over to a crudely drawn chalk space alien on a wall above a teddy bear.]
Ursa: You got what it takes to save him, soldier?
Cedar: I uh… don’t know.
[Ursa looks up and groans.]
Ursa: It’s a yes or no question, Cedar.
Cedar: Um… yes?
Ursa: Perfect. Take this!
[Ursa hands him a sci-fi themed squirt gun.]
Ursa: Now go! Maneuver alpha delta.
Cedar: What?
[Ursa facepalms.]
Ursa: I go to the left, shouting an screaming. You hit the Galmork. And don’t shoot teddy. He’s dry wash only.
[Cedar nervously fires at the alien.]
Ursa: You’ve got it, soldier!
Cedar: I’m doing it, I’m—
[The squirt gun runs out of water and Cedar crashes into the wall. He gets up, and looks and sees that he has chalkdust all over his arm.]
Ursa: Oh no! Your arm!
Cedar: It’s just chalk dust—
Ursa: No, no. I’ve seen this before. It’s an alien infection.
Cedar: Uh… and what do we do about that?
Ursa: There’s only one thing we can do.
Cedar: What?
Ursa: We gots to amputate.
Cedar: Amputate!?
Ursa: Don’t worry. I know where Daddy keeps his power tools!
[Ursa starts dragging Cedar off. Cedar turns around to see the beat. It falls off of the chair and we see that its arm has quite the cut on it. Cedar looks at his arm. The flashback ends, with Cedar looking down at his own arm. There’s a small scratch scar on it. There’s also a space-themed watch on the arm. Cedar takes it off, and looks at the underside.]
Ursa: {Voice over} For my best space cadet. Glad your arm healed from the alien infection. And from uh… me. You’re a pinnacle of humanity, soldier.
Patrick: Earth to space case
Cedar: Huh, what?
Patrick: Just talking about all of the times you talked about playing space cadet—
Cedar: Space Scouts. She called it Space Scouts.
Patrick: See what I mean?
Cedar: What’s your point? She was just some kid I played with.
Patrick: And like seven years later, you’re wearing her watch. That doesn’t even work. You telling me that you didn’t have a cute little crush on her?
Cedar: Like it matters either way. She moved away years ago.
Patrick: Why don’t you call her up? I’m just saying, if you can’t talk to Stacy—
Cedar: No phone number. No nothing.
Patrick: Where’d she even move to?
Cedar: I don’t know. I think she wanted to tell me, but I came home from school one day and… she was gone.
Patrick: Well, that’s a bitch. Or she is.
[Cedar looks very angrily at Patrick. Cut to Cedar sitting on the roof of his house, looking at his watch under the stars. There’s a meteor shower under a full moon. Cedar looks to his side and sees the memory of Ursa, pointing up excitedly at the air.]
Ursa: And that one there is Canis Minor, the little dipper. My Mom’s been teaching me all kinds of this stuff. It ends at the north star, Polaris. That’s the most important one in the sky. It means home.
Zoey: {Voice over} Hey dingus, Mom says that you’re not supposed to be on the roof.
[Cut to see that Cedar’s seven-year-old sister is looking out her bedroom window, dressed for bed.]
Cedar: I’m watching the meteor shower.
Zoey: Whatever. If you want to break your back, it’s not my problem.
[Zoey closes the window. And then Cedar looks to the north star. From that point, he sees a strange blue aura raining down over the football field.]
Cedar: The hell?
[Cut to Cedar sneaking down the stairs. He grabs his backpack off of the coatrack, and slowly opens the door.]
Zoey: Goin’ somewhere, Cedar?
Cedar: Out.
Zoey: So, I’m assuming you already told Mom and Dad, or should I—
Cedar: Go back to bed, Zoey.
Zoey: If you’re running away, can I have your room?
Cedar: I’m not running away. Look, I saw something over the football field. I’ll be back in like an hour.
Zoey: Well, I’ll let Mom and Dad know then.
Cedar: You’re such a fucking brat.
[Zoey looks proud as she walks up the stairs. Cedar leaves the house.]
[Cut to Cedar pedaling as fast as he can to the football field. As he gets there, he lets the bike fall to its side. This causes him to drop the watch. It tumbles to the center. Cedar looks at it, lying down, sweating. He reaches out for the watch. Then one of the stadium lights goes out in an explosion. A second one goes off; this time with a laser sound. Cedar quickly gets up and starts looking around in a panic.]
Cedar: H-hello?
[The third and fourth lights get hit by the laser, leaving the football field in almost total darkness. There’s just space… and the watch, which starts to glow an eerie blue.]
Cedar: Is anyone here? Show yourself?
Ursa: {Off-screen} Glad to see that my best recruit kept my watch. I never would’ve been able to find you without it.
Cedar: Great, I’m hearing voices.
[Ursa steps into the light of the watch, with a Space Scouts sci-fi uniform.]
Ursa: And seeing this too, I gather.
Cedar: Ursa? Ursa?
[Ursa smiles.]
Ursa: Yup.
[Ursa runs up to Cedar and hugs him. This causes Cedar to blush.
Ursa: It is so good to see you, Cedar. You’ve been practicing fighting those aliens, right?
Cedar: Uh… yeah. Yeah I have.
Ursa: That’s a relief on my end.
[Ursa picks up the watch and hands it back to Cedar.]
Ursa: We have to go. Now.
Cedar: Go? We? What?
Ursa: I don’t have time to give a mission briefing right now. You have to follow me.
Cedar: Look, we’re a little old to be playing some—
[Ursa is about to run off, but she stops when the meteor shower up above starts turning red. And the meteors get bigger. A harsh wind blows. Ursa almost looks scared.]
Ursa: They can’t have lost already.
Cedar: What the hell is going on here?
[They clearly see what looks like an alien spaceship coming down in the distance.]
Ursa: Quick version. Ships of Mytiks. I would’ve trained you on them if I knew about them. They’re claiming ownership over Earth. And they’re getting ownership over Earth. If you need any other answers now, we both die.
[Ursa pulls Cedar and they start running. Cut to the two of them hiding behind a street guardrail. Some of the aliens - scorpion people with stingers, black beady eyes, but human hands are running through the streets. Two of them corner a man under a street light.]
Man #1 Please, I… I come in peace.
[One of the Mytiks stings the man in the eye. It starts foaming and he falls over screaming.]
Cedar: What the—
[Ursa covers his mouth. She notices a sewer grate. Cut to the two of them trudging through the sewers. Ursa’s uniform is glowing. She tosses something that looks like the squirt gun from the flashback to Cedar.]
Cedar: Your old squirt gun?
[Cedar accidentally fires it and it shoots a laser that hits Ursa in the leg. She falls to her knee.]
Ursa: Jesus Christ, Cedar. Gun safety!
[Cedar drops the gun, wordlessly. He looks beyond panicked and confused. Ursa uses a spray can with a red cross on her leg.]
Ursa: This is a basic part of Junior Star Scouts Training. Don’t you remember any of it?
Cedar: Training…
[Ursa gives a desperate look to Cedar.]
Ursa: Pew. Pew. Stop the aliens. Save the teddy. You don’t remember?
Cedar: No, I… I remember. I remember our games, Ursa.
Ursa: Games? What do you—
[Ursa gets a realization and she puts her hands on Cedar’s shoulders. She has a look almost as if she’s going to strangle him.]
Ursa: Answer me honestly.
Cedar: I’ll say whatever you want. Just please don’t hurt me.
Ursa: Your parents weren’t training you to be a Junior Star Scout?
[Ursa looks down and to her side.]
Ursa: Mom, why did you— nevermind.
[She looks back up at Cedar, and then she hugs him.]
Ursa: I’m sorry. I am so truly sorry.
[Then Ursa breaks away and grabs a sewer ladder.]
Cedar: Where the hell are you going?
[Ursa bites her lip and she turns back to Cedar.]
Ursa: Back to B9. My starship. My whole crew is in danger. We’ve got to go.
Cedar: So you’re just leaving me here? Pew. Pew. Stop the aliens.
Ursa: This isn’t a combat mission, Cedar. My orders are not to engage.
Cedar: So you’re here… for me?
[Ursa gets off the ladder and looks at Cedar.]
Ursa: I am here because I had knowledge that someone with Star Scout training was in imminent danger. Right now, the mission is to save as many people with Star Scout training as we can. But if that person doesn’t actually have Star Scout training…
Cedar: Wait, that meteor shower. It was—
[Ursa gets back on the ladder.]
Ursa: Us. Yes. Now I’ve got to go. The longer B9 is here—
Cedar: Wait! You’re not leaving me to die here, Ursa.
Ursa: Look, I’ll let you keep the blaster. But you’re not in the Star Scouts, and if we tried to rescue—
[Cedar picks up the blaster and looks to Ursa.]
Cedar: I’m not in the Star Scouts. Yet. You said you had a crew. A Starship. You’re a captain. Let me join.
Ursa: Cedar, you’d be a liability. You’d put everyone else in danger.
Cedar: Game or not, I did have some training, apparently.
Ursa: Please. This is hard enough on me already—
Cedar: As a friend, Ursa. Let me join. Look, I don’t know anything about aliens or… blasters or whatever. But I can do… whatever work that needs to be done. I just really don’t want to die, Ursa.
[Beat. We hear dripping in the sewer. Ursa takes out a knife. Cedar flinches.]
Ursa: Hold out your hand.
[Cedar hesitates.]
Ursa: Do you want to join or not?
[Cedar holds out his hand. Ursa slashes it.]
Ursa: Do you, under pain and agony of death, swear your allegiance to the Star Scouts, to your crew, and to your captain?
Cedar: Y-yes?
Ursa: Do you promise to obey any order that I give you, even if it goes against every judgement you have?
Cedar: Y-yes. This stings.
Ursa: And do you forgive me… for what I almost did?
[This takes Cedar offguard. Ursa has a smile. Cedar slowly nods. Ursa takes off her glove and slashes her own hand. Their cut hands meet.]
Ursa: Welcome to the crew, Rookie.
[Then Ursa hugs him.]
Ursa: I missed you.
Cedar: I missed you too.
[Ursa breaks the hug.]
Ursa: Come on. We got to get out of here. B9 is just outside of town.
Cedar: Cool. Let’s just get my family and—
[Ursa looks solemnly at Cedar.]
Ursa: Cedar, I’d say that I’d take you. And as a friend.
Cedar: But—
Ursa: Get out of this sewer. That’s an order, from your captain.
[Ursa takes out her blaster.]
Cedar: Or what, you’ll shoot me?
[Ursa looks saddened.]
Ursa: “Under pain and agony of death”
Cedar: Okay, okay, I’m going.
[Cut to Cedar & Ursa wandering through the streets. Both of them are running, but their path is blocked by a flaming car that falls to Earth. Both of them step back from the smoke and flames. As Ursa extinguishes the flames, Cedar sees some scattered limbs about.]
Cedar: What the hell are these things after?
Ursa: [Nonchalantly] Food.
Cedar: So Earth is just…
Ursa: One big factory farm, yes. Now grab the fire extinguisher from Palmer’s. Look, you ask me a question, I’m going to give you an answer.
[Cedar nods and he runs into the convenience store. He sees the fire extinguisher that’s been knocked over and reaches out for it. But he’s stopped by one of the Mytiks, bursting through the shelves. It tries to grab Cedar. He steps back, falls over, and the blaster falls out of his belt. He reaches for it, but his hand gets grabbed by the Mytik. His other hand gets grabbed by the Mytik. The Mytik goes in for a sting, but it never connects. Yellow blood drips out of its forehead and down onto Cedar. As it falls over, we see that Ursa embedded a fire axe in the thing’s head.]
Cedar: Thanks.
Ursa: Secure that blaster better.
Cedar: Look out!
[Ursa gets grabbed by another Mytik jumping in through the window. It’s got her pinned and tries stabbing at her, but she dodges her head just in time. It hits her hair instead. Cedar rushes for the blaster and shoots at the Mytik. As its skin gets singed, it turns to Cedar angrily. A third Mytik grabs Cedar’s wrists.]
[The Mytik holding down Ursa smiles at Cedar. Cedar panics and looks around. He notices his hand still with its fresh cut. Cedar squeezes his palm until the blood pours out. It’s able to lubricate his wrists and he pulls himself out, just in time to miss getting stung by the tail. Cedar grabs a fallen tooth brush and uses the back of it to stab the Mytik in the eye. The Mytik lets go of Cedar, and the one holding down Ursa rushes after him. Cedar picks up the fire extinguisher and blasts at him. Then at both of them. This allows Ursa to hack off both of their heads with the fire axe.]
[Cut to sometime later, Ursa sitting breathless. Cedar sits next to her and hers her a cola.]
Cedar: Drink?
[Ursa grabs it and drinks vigorously.]
Ursa: Oh god, I missed this (burp).
Cedar: So you are a human after all.
Ursa: And you’re not totally useless.
[Ursa smiles and shoves his shoulder. Then she looks to this window.]
Ursa: I think that they’re done with this street. We can wait here for awhile until the heat dies down.
[Cedar grabs his legs as he debates what he wants to say.]
Cedar: My house…
Ursa: Is only a couple blocks away. I know.
Cedar: Ursa, you can’t expect me to leave them for dead.
Ursa: I think it’s clear I don’t know what to expect from you.
Cedar: We have to at least try—
[Ursa stands up.]
Ursa: Mother, father, sister, right?
Cedar: A-and dog.
Ursa: And dog. That’s six, including you and me. The Mytiks are watching this town with satellite accuracy, their beady eyes drawn specifically to stampedes. Why do you think I’m here without backup?
Cedar: I need… a minute.
[Ursa looks to her watch.]
Ursa: I don’t think we have a minute.
Cedar: Last thing I said to my sister…I called her a brat. A fucking brat.
[Ursa puts her hands on Cedar’s shoulders.]
Ursa: Listen to me. It hurts. It’s going to hurt for awhile. And from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry that any of this happened. There will be time to deal with it. That time is not now. Lingering here is just… going to add to the death count.
Cedar: You’ve… lost too, huh?
[Ursa nods.]
Ursa: Fill your backpack before we go.
Cedar: What, they don’t have snacks in space?
Ursa: They do, it’s just— Palmer ain’t going to be using it anymore.
[Cedar grabs some junk food and places it in his backpack. As he looks in, he sees some things there. Math textbook, yearbook, couple of notebooks, and pencils, comic book, the cook book, an old fashioned portable game system, and an mp3 player.]
[Cut to the two of them moving through the city. A bus explodes besides them, and Ursa pushes Cedar to the ground. Cedar looks up and sees the remains of Patrick. His corpse is half-eaten. Cedar stands up, and then throws up. Ursa pats his back.]
Ursa: [Gently] Come on, this way.
[Cut to Ursa & Cedar hiding in a bush. High up above the city, we see what looks like floating eyeball robots. They scan lights on the Earth. A crowd of people is running down a highway, and that attracts the eyeball robots. Cut back down to Ursa & Cedar, there’s screaming the background. The two of them cross the field and go into the forest. Eventually they make it to a clearing in the middle of the woods.]
Cedar: Ursa, there’s nothing here.
Ursa: B9, disable cloaking.
[Nothing happens.]
Ursa: B9, I swear to God.
Cedar: People are getting their entrails ripped out by fucking scorpion people, Ursa. If you’ve got a spaceship—
[Ursa rolls her eyes and groans to the sky.]
Ursa: B9, Please disable cloaking.
[Only then does the ship disable its cloaking device, and it sounds like a mechanical robotic giggling.]
Cedar: Is your ship… giggling?
[Ursa opens the door and pulls Cedar inside. It’s dark for a second, but then the place lights up with a neon blue glow. Ursa runs to a control panel and presses buttons on it.]
Ursa: Epsilon!
[A lizard person appears on the screen. This is Epsilon.]
Epsilon: [Happily] Captain, you haven’t died a horrible venomous death. Does this mean we’re about to be blown to bits?
Ursa: Not if you get us the hell out of here. NOW>
Epsilon: Orders received, Captain.
[Ursa turns towards Cedar.]
Ursa: Brace yourself.
Cedar: Brace—?
[The ship takes off and both of them go flying, getting knocked to the floor. A video panel turns on, showing a teenage girl with a long ponytail and a skirt suit and ribbon with glowing neon trim. This is B9, or Bee.]
B9: Ooh, captain, who did you bring on board?
[ursa gets up and straightens out her uniform.]
Ursa: Cedar. I’ve told you about him.
B9: When you said that he was a hunk, you weren’t lying!
[Ursa blushes.]
Ursa: I didn’t—the last time I saw him, he was 10.
B9: Well, he’s not 10 no more. Obviously.
[Cedar gets up and looks at the holographic screen.]
Cedar: Who the hell are you?
Ursa: That’s the personality module of the ship, B9.
B9: I’d say that you could call me Bee, but you can call me whatever you want.
Cedar: Okay, how about annoying?
[B9 looks angry. The lights turn red. The ship does a loop, knocking both of them down.]
Epsilon: {Intercom} Captain, I seem to have temporarily lost control of the ship. Don’t worry, I calculate only a 30 percent chance of us dying a horrible fiery death before leaving the Earth’s atmosphere.
[Ursa starts getting up as the lights turn blue.]
Ursa: Thank you for the insight, Epsilon. B9 is very… temperamental.
[B9 feigns an innocent look.]
B9: Hey, I deserve some respect. I am literally carrying this team, Captain.
[Ursa offers her hand and helps Cedar get back up.]
Cedar: Why the hell does a spaceship need a personality?
B9: Gee… a bunch of teenagers alone in space, lightyears away from civilization. Know that each day could be their last without any supervision. What could possibly go wrong?
Cedar: You’re a teenager.
B9: Well, yeah. It’d be creepy if I was an adult watching you eat. And sleep. And shower.
[B9 enjoys the thought.]
Cedar: You’re messing with me, right?
[Ursa is about to leave the room.]
Ursa: Come on, let’s get you to medbay.
[Cut to them in the hallway.]
Cedar: B9 doesn’t really—
Ursa: It’s best not to let B9 get under your skin.
[The lights flicker and there’s a mechanical giggling sound. A holographic projection of B( leans against the wall with a smile.]
B9: What’s the matter, big guy? Got something to hide? We’re all friends here.
Ursa: B9, routine maintenance checks please.
[B9 rolls her eyes.]
B9: [Sarcastically] All systems are normal, Captain.
Ursa: Do a thorough check, partitioning the systems one by one.
B9: (Scoffs). But that’ll take hours.
Ursa: Then get started and you’ll be done quicker.
B9: [Angrily] You’re no fun, Captain.
[Cut to Ursa and Cedar walking through the halls. The ship is strangely designed with many different passageways. There are strange machines dotting the halls.]
Ursa: B9 can be a lot to handle, but you will get used to her antics in time.
Cedar: She’s not really… you know…
Ursa: What do I know?
Cedar: Into um…
[Ursa gives Cedar a playful smile.]
Ursa: Strange, it usually takes years for a human’s English to get this rusty.
Cedar: Does the robot want to fuck me? You happy now?
Ursa: Yes.
Cedar: Yes?
Ursa: Yes.
Cedar: To which question?
Ursa: Yes.
[Cedar looks very baffled.]
Cedar: The robot is programmed to—
Ursa: Yes.
Cedar: Why?
[Ursa describes things simply and deadpan, as if she’s explaining anything.]
Ursa: Because we’re teenages doing suicide missions all the time. And if we’re say… rescuing some nobody on a doomed planet, the last thing that should be on our mind is our hormones.
[Ursa gives a very crooked smile.]
Ursa: You happy now?
[The two of them stop walking.]
Cedar: Wait, this crew really is just teenagers.
Ursa: I think I stated at some point, Junior Star Scouts.
[The two of them begin walking again. Cut to them going down a sloped hallway.]
Cedar: And they really let you got on missions like this.
[Ursa stops to laugh.]
Ursa: Let us. Let us go on these missions. I miss Earthling attitudes.
Cedar: I don’t understand.
Ursa: As Junior Star Scouts, we get the most dangerous death defying missions possible. Because we’re juniors. Our mommies and daddies have lived longer, and have so much more experience, so their lives are less… disposable. And sometime if we’re very smart or lucky, we’ll have earned more cushy positions.
[Beat.]
Cedar: That’s awful.
[Ursa says this with a consistent smile.]
Ursa: It’s almost like you’re traveling through the cold of space after your home was brutally harvested by warmongering scorpions. While you have hangups about girls.
Cedar: That’s a low blow.
Ursa: I’m your commanding officer. I’m allowed low blows.
[They stop in front of the medbay door. The opposite side window shows Jupiter, red spot visible. Ursa puts her hand on Cedar’s should and gives him a solemn smile.]
Ursa: No matter what happens now, we are in this together.
Cedar: Thanks, Ur—Captain.
Ursa: Life will be different. Very different. But if any part of that kid I left behind on Earth is still in there, you will survive. Now you need to get your checkup, and I need to get to the control deck.
[Ursa starts walking off.]
Cedar: Wait, I have on more question.
[Ursa rolls her eyes but keeps her smile.]
Ursa: Yes, B9 will know what’s on your medical file. Don’t worry, the only one she’s allowed to tell about it is me.
Cedar: No—what? No.
[Ursa turns around.]
Ursa: Well, what’s the question then?
Cedar: Do you um… want to eat lunch together? Or breakfast. Or whatever meal is next.
[Cedar turns and then groans at himself.]
Cedar: Such a stupid question…
Ursa: Sure, Rookie. See you at dinner.
Cedar: T-thank you.
[Ursa walks away, and as she does this, we see her smile and gently shake her head.]
[Cut to Cedar alone. He looks at the medbay door and opens it. There’s no one else in the room, and there are more strange devices inside. There’s a second door towards the back wall. Cedar enters and sits down on a table. The door closes, causing Cedar to jump slightly.]
[He looks nervous, and then the actual doctor comes in; a Mytik in a Star Scout uniform with a red cross. This is Beckett. Cedar grabs a UV drip. And uses it to put distance between himself and Beckett. He speaks with a slight hiss]
Cedar: Shit, one of them got aboard!
Beckett: If you could put that down please, I’d very much like to get this examination done.
Cedar: You can… talk?
Beckett: It’s important when you’re the doctor on a starship.
Cedar: But you’re— you want to eat me.
[Beckett swings his tail at Cedar, causing him to drop the UV drip in panic. But then Cedar notices that the stinger is missing, and it just bounces off his shoulder.]
Beckett: Satisfied? My name is Beckett.
Cedar: … Cedar.
[Beckett starts typing on a holographic computer.]
Beckett: The human that the Captain was telling us about, okay. Let’s see… if I can do this.
Cedar: You’re not… going to eat me?
[Beckett just looks at Cedar.]
Cedar: Sorry, I’m just—
Beckett: Rude?
Cedar: New to this aliens thing.
Beckett: You’ll get used to it.
[There’s a bing. Beckett rushes over to a desk and pulls out a glowing yellow rod and starts using it to examine Cedar as if it were UV light.]
Cedar: I suppose I’ll just leave the questions to you then.
Beckett: Would be for the best… Cedar, was it?
Cedar: Uh yeah.
Beckett: So, how long have you been pregnant?
Cedar: What!?
[Beckett points to Cedar’s adams apple.]
Beckett: Your egg sack is swollen.
Cedar: That’s not my— that’s an adam’s apple. What kind of doctor are you?
[Beckett pokes it.]
[B9 appears in her holographic form.]
B9: What do you expect? The only human he has frame of reference is well… Ursa. Ooh, imagine what he’s going to think when you drop your pants.
[Beckett walks over to the computer and starts typing.]
Cedar: You’ve got to tell him that I’m… different.
B9: No can do. Everyone’s patient file is confidential. Besides, it’s more fun this way!
Cedar: The fact that I have a… is confidential?
B9: Well, it doesn’t have to be.
[B9 winks.]
Cedar: No! No! No!
B9: Well then, have fun with your appointment!
[She disappears.]
Beckett: Ah good. Nothing too serious. Only a few bruises and scratches and a cancer on your left lung I can easily remove.
Cedar: Cancer? You’re… joking, right?
Beckett: I am never going to understand human humor. Yes, you have lung cancer. Yes, I can remove it easily. You shouldn’t even feel the operation. However…
[Beckett takes out a large needle.]
Beckett: Space travel has an adverse effect on human bone structure. As a result, I have to inject this fluid directly into your spine.
Cedar: Just let me die of cancer, doc.
[To be continued.]
Cedar: Three eggs, lightly stirred—
[His friend, Patrick walks in. Cedar notices this and quickly shoves the book in his backpack.]
Patrick: Another day of chasing tail, am I right?
[Cedar looks at him, annoyed.]
Cedar: Dude, you reek of pot.
Patrick: Want some?
Cedar: N-no.
Patrick: Come on, man, you need to lighten up and live a little.
Cedar: Considering that I’m the one who’ll be paying your bail money someday—
Patrick: Live a little, Cedar. This is high school. It’s supposed to be the best years of our life.
Cedar: So you’re saying it’s all down hill from here, then?
[A guy in a football outfit storms into the hallway. He looks angry and is looking around. This is James.]
James: Cedar Haro, where is he!?
Cedar: I appear to be late for class.
[Cedar runs off.]
Patrick: Hey wait!
[Cut to Cedar standing by his locker, pulling out books.]
Patrick: Don’t you think that maybe the first place James would look is your locker?
Cedar: That’s why I’m here.
[Cedar looks around the hallway corner.]
Patrick: I don’t get it.
Cedar: My locker is a place that is so obvious that I’d have to be the stupidest person on Earth to hide here. And James knows that I’m not that stupid, ergo he won’t be looking for me at my locker.
[Patrick smokes a blunt.]
Patrick: Makes sense to me (cough). What’d you do anyway?
Cedar: Tore off his car mirror.
Patrick: The hell’d you do that for?
Cedar: I didn’t mean it, I was on my bike and—
Patrick: You know, maybe you just wouldn’t have this problem if you lightened up and got your goddamn license. But maybe that’s just me.
Cedar: You know I can’t go behind the wheel—
Patrick: You go through the wall of a pharmacy one time, it’s not the end of the world. Seriously man, if you’re such a stick in the mud, I ain’t going to be sticking around.
Cedar: What are you getting at now?
[Patrick takes Cedar in a half hug and moves his gaze across the hallway to a girl by her own locker.]
Patrick: Stacy, right?
Cedar: What about Stacy.
Patrick: I’ve seen those fuck me eyes you been giving her in geometry.
[Cedar breaks away.]
Cedar: S-so?
Patrick: Ask her out to lunch.
Cedar: What—No. I can’t do that!
[Patrick puts his arms behind his head and leans back.]
Patrick: I suppose we could wait for her to ask you out then.
Cedar: Y-yeah, we’ll do that.
[Patrick rolls his eyes.]
Patrick: Ask her out.
Cedar: N-no, I can’t.
Patrick: Ask her out… or I’ll…
Cedar: [Under his breath] You’ll fucking traumatize her if you do that.
Patrick: Ask her out, or… I’ll ask you out. Right here in front of everyone. And it won’t be a problem anymore.
Cedar: I hate you so much.
Patrick: Well I really think I love you.
[Cedar rushes off towards Stacy. Camera pans to show that another girl was watching them the whole time, looking very bewildered.]
Patrick: [Flirty] Hey.
[The girl scoffs walks away. Cut to Cedar walking up to Stacy.]
Stacy: Can I uh… help you?
[Cedar basically deflates immediately.]
Cedar: Uh… hi.
Stacy: Hi.
Cedar: Hi.
Stacy: You’re Cesar, right?
Cedar: Cedar, actually. It’s a type of tree.
[Stacy shakes her head and walks away, leaving Cedar feeling aggravated with himself. Patrick walks up to him, smiling and with a new black eye. He puts his arm around Cedar.]
Patrick: It’s a tree, huh?
[Cut to Patrick and Cedar at lunch. Cedar is regretfully staring at Stacy. Stacy is talking with her friends. She turns to Cedar, and Cedar quickly ducks down behind the napkin dispenser. Patrick looks annoyed.]
Patrick: I think you threw her off the scent. Either talk to her. Or don’t.
Cedar: I’m just… waiting for the right time, okay?
Patrick: That worked out great with Ursa, huh?
[Cedar slowly picks his head up.]
Cedar: Ursa? She wasn’t— she was a kid I played with way back in like… fourth grade or something.
Patrick: Sure…
[Cut to a flashback. Cedar and Ursa are fourth graders, playing in a backyard. Ursa is a girl with long brown hair, green eyes, and is wearing an astronaut costume with a star headband.]
Ursa: Okay, so that alien has kidnapped teddy. And the Galactic Defense Force isn’t going to send us reinforcements.
[Pan over to a crudely drawn chalk space alien on a wall above a teddy bear.]
Ursa: You got what it takes to save him, soldier?
Cedar: I uh… don’t know.
[Ursa looks up and groans.]
Ursa: It’s a yes or no question, Cedar.
Cedar: Um… yes?
Ursa: Perfect. Take this!
[Ursa hands him a sci-fi themed squirt gun.]
Ursa: Now go! Maneuver alpha delta.
Cedar: What?
[Ursa facepalms.]
Ursa: I go to the left, shouting an screaming. You hit the Galmork. And don’t shoot teddy. He’s dry wash only.
[Cedar nervously fires at the alien.]
Ursa: You’ve got it, soldier!
Cedar: I’m doing it, I’m—
[The squirt gun runs out of water and Cedar crashes into the wall. He gets up, and looks and sees that he has chalkdust all over his arm.]
Ursa: Oh no! Your arm!
Cedar: It’s just chalk dust—
Ursa: No, no. I’ve seen this before. It’s an alien infection.
Cedar: Uh… and what do we do about that?
Ursa: There’s only one thing we can do.
Cedar: What?
Ursa: We gots to amputate.
Cedar: Amputate!?
Ursa: Don’t worry. I know where Daddy keeps his power tools!
[Ursa starts dragging Cedar off. Cedar turns around to see the beat. It falls off of the chair and we see that its arm has quite the cut on it. Cedar looks at his arm. The flashback ends, with Cedar looking down at his own arm. There’s a small scratch scar on it. There’s also a space-themed watch on the arm. Cedar takes it off, and looks at the underside.]
Ursa: {Voice over} For my best space cadet. Glad your arm healed from the alien infection. And from uh… me. You’re a pinnacle of humanity, soldier.
Patrick: Earth to space case
Cedar: Huh, what?
Patrick: Just talking about all of the times you talked about playing space cadet—
Cedar: Space Scouts. She called it Space Scouts.
Patrick: See what I mean?
Cedar: What’s your point? She was just some kid I played with.
Patrick: And like seven years later, you’re wearing her watch. That doesn’t even work. You telling me that you didn’t have a cute little crush on her?
Cedar: Like it matters either way. She moved away years ago.
Patrick: Why don’t you call her up? I’m just saying, if you can’t talk to Stacy—
Cedar: No phone number. No nothing.
Patrick: Where’d she even move to?
Cedar: I don’t know. I think she wanted to tell me, but I came home from school one day and… she was gone.
Patrick: Well, that’s a bitch. Or she is.
[Cedar looks very angrily at Patrick. Cut to Cedar sitting on the roof of his house, looking at his watch under the stars. There’s a meteor shower under a full moon. Cedar looks to his side and sees the memory of Ursa, pointing up excitedly at the air.]
Ursa: And that one there is Canis Minor, the little dipper. My Mom’s been teaching me all kinds of this stuff. It ends at the north star, Polaris. That’s the most important one in the sky. It means home.
Zoey: {Voice over} Hey dingus, Mom says that you’re not supposed to be on the roof.
[Cut to see that Cedar’s seven-year-old sister is looking out her bedroom window, dressed for bed.]
Cedar: I’m watching the meteor shower.
Zoey: Whatever. If you want to break your back, it’s not my problem.
[Zoey closes the window. And then Cedar looks to the north star. From that point, he sees a strange blue aura raining down over the football field.]
Cedar: The hell?
[Cut to Cedar sneaking down the stairs. He grabs his backpack off of the coatrack, and slowly opens the door.]
Zoey: Goin’ somewhere, Cedar?
Cedar: Out.
Zoey: So, I’m assuming you already told Mom and Dad, or should I—
Cedar: Go back to bed, Zoey.
Zoey: If you’re running away, can I have your room?
Cedar: I’m not running away. Look, I saw something over the football field. I’ll be back in like an hour.
Zoey: Well, I’ll let Mom and Dad know then.
Cedar: You’re such a fucking brat.
[Zoey looks proud as she walks up the stairs. Cedar leaves the house.]
[Cut to Cedar pedaling as fast as he can to the football field. As he gets there, he lets the bike fall to its side. This causes him to drop the watch. It tumbles to the center. Cedar looks at it, lying down, sweating. He reaches out for the watch. Then one of the stadium lights goes out in an explosion. A second one goes off; this time with a laser sound. Cedar quickly gets up and starts looking around in a panic.]
Cedar: H-hello?
[The third and fourth lights get hit by the laser, leaving the football field in almost total darkness. There’s just space… and the watch, which starts to glow an eerie blue.]
Cedar: Is anyone here? Show yourself?
Ursa: {Off-screen} Glad to see that my best recruit kept my watch. I never would’ve been able to find you without it.
Cedar: Great, I’m hearing voices.
[Ursa steps into the light of the watch, with a Space Scouts sci-fi uniform.]
Ursa: And seeing this too, I gather.
Cedar: Ursa? Ursa?
[Ursa smiles.]
Ursa: Yup.
[Ursa runs up to Cedar and hugs him. This causes Cedar to blush.
Ursa: It is so good to see you, Cedar. You’ve been practicing fighting those aliens, right?
Cedar: Uh… yeah. Yeah I have.
Ursa: That’s a relief on my end.
[Ursa picks up the watch and hands it back to Cedar.]
Ursa: We have to go. Now.
Cedar: Go? We? What?
Ursa: I don’t have time to give a mission briefing right now. You have to follow me.
Cedar: Look, we’re a little old to be playing some—
[Ursa is about to run off, but she stops when the meteor shower up above starts turning red. And the meteors get bigger. A harsh wind blows. Ursa almost looks scared.]
Ursa: They can’t have lost already.
Cedar: What the hell is going on here?
[They clearly see what looks like an alien spaceship coming down in the distance.]
Ursa: Quick version. Ships of Mytiks. I would’ve trained you on them if I knew about them. They’re claiming ownership over Earth. And they’re getting ownership over Earth. If you need any other answers now, we both die.
[Ursa pulls Cedar and they start running. Cut to the two of them hiding behind a street guardrail. Some of the aliens - scorpion people with stingers, black beady eyes, but human hands are running through the streets. Two of them corner a man under a street light.]
Man #1 Please, I… I come in peace.
[One of the Mytiks stings the man in the eye. It starts foaming and he falls over screaming.]
Cedar: What the—
[Ursa covers his mouth. She notices a sewer grate. Cut to the two of them trudging through the sewers. Ursa’s uniform is glowing. She tosses something that looks like the squirt gun from the flashback to Cedar.]
Cedar: Your old squirt gun?
[Cedar accidentally fires it and it shoots a laser that hits Ursa in the leg. She falls to her knee.]
Ursa: Jesus Christ, Cedar. Gun safety!
[Cedar drops the gun, wordlessly. He looks beyond panicked and confused. Ursa uses a spray can with a red cross on her leg.]
Ursa: This is a basic part of Junior Star Scouts Training. Don’t you remember any of it?
Cedar: Training…
[Ursa gives a desperate look to Cedar.]
Ursa: Pew. Pew. Stop the aliens. Save the teddy. You don’t remember?
Cedar: No, I… I remember. I remember our games, Ursa.
Ursa: Games? What do you—
[Ursa gets a realization and she puts her hands on Cedar’s shoulders. She has a look almost as if she’s going to strangle him.]
Ursa: Answer me honestly.
Cedar: I’ll say whatever you want. Just please don’t hurt me.
Ursa: Your parents weren’t training you to be a Junior Star Scout?
[Ursa looks down and to her side.]
Ursa: Mom, why did you— nevermind.
[She looks back up at Cedar, and then she hugs him.]
Ursa: I’m sorry. I am so truly sorry.
[Then Ursa breaks away and grabs a sewer ladder.]
Cedar: Where the hell are you going?
[Ursa bites her lip and she turns back to Cedar.]
Ursa: Back to B9. My starship. My whole crew is in danger. We’ve got to go.
Cedar: So you’re just leaving me here? Pew. Pew. Stop the aliens.
Ursa: This isn’t a combat mission, Cedar. My orders are not to engage.
Cedar: So you’re here… for me?
[Ursa gets off the ladder and looks at Cedar.]
Ursa: I am here because I had knowledge that someone with Star Scout training was in imminent danger. Right now, the mission is to save as many people with Star Scout training as we can. But if that person doesn’t actually have Star Scout training…
Cedar: Wait, that meteor shower. It was—
[Ursa gets back on the ladder.]
Ursa: Us. Yes. Now I’ve got to go. The longer B9 is here—
Cedar: Wait! You’re not leaving me to die here, Ursa.
Ursa: Look, I’ll let you keep the blaster. But you’re not in the Star Scouts, and if we tried to rescue—
[Cedar picks up the blaster and looks to Ursa.]
Cedar: I’m not in the Star Scouts. Yet. You said you had a crew. A Starship. You’re a captain. Let me join.
Ursa: Cedar, you’d be a liability. You’d put everyone else in danger.
Cedar: Game or not, I did have some training, apparently.
Ursa: Please. This is hard enough on me already—
Cedar: As a friend, Ursa. Let me join. Look, I don’t know anything about aliens or… blasters or whatever. But I can do… whatever work that needs to be done. I just really don’t want to die, Ursa.
[Beat. We hear dripping in the sewer. Ursa takes out a knife. Cedar flinches.]
Ursa: Hold out your hand.
[Cedar hesitates.]
Ursa: Do you want to join or not?
[Cedar holds out his hand. Ursa slashes it.]
Ursa: Do you, under pain and agony of death, swear your allegiance to the Star Scouts, to your crew, and to your captain?
Cedar: Y-yes?
Ursa: Do you promise to obey any order that I give you, even if it goes against every judgement you have?
Cedar: Y-yes. This stings.
Ursa: And do you forgive me… for what I almost did?
[This takes Cedar offguard. Ursa has a smile. Cedar slowly nods. Ursa takes off her glove and slashes her own hand. Their cut hands meet.]
Ursa: Welcome to the crew, Rookie.
[Then Ursa hugs him.]
Ursa: I missed you.
Cedar: I missed you too.
[Ursa breaks the hug.]
Ursa: Come on. We got to get out of here. B9 is just outside of town.
Cedar: Cool. Let’s just get my family and—
[Ursa looks solemnly at Cedar.]
Ursa: Cedar, I’d say that I’d take you. And as a friend.
Cedar: But—
Ursa: Get out of this sewer. That’s an order, from your captain.
[Ursa takes out her blaster.]
Cedar: Or what, you’ll shoot me?
[Ursa looks saddened.]
Ursa: “Under pain and agony of death”
Cedar: Okay, okay, I’m going.
[Cut to Cedar & Ursa wandering through the streets. Both of them are running, but their path is blocked by a flaming car that falls to Earth. Both of them step back from the smoke and flames. As Ursa extinguishes the flames, Cedar sees some scattered limbs about.]
Cedar: What the hell are these things after?
Ursa: [Nonchalantly] Food.
Cedar: So Earth is just…
Ursa: One big factory farm, yes. Now grab the fire extinguisher from Palmer’s. Look, you ask me a question, I’m going to give you an answer.
[Cedar nods and he runs into the convenience store. He sees the fire extinguisher that’s been knocked over and reaches out for it. But he’s stopped by one of the Mytiks, bursting through the shelves. It tries to grab Cedar. He steps back, falls over, and the blaster falls out of his belt. He reaches for it, but his hand gets grabbed by the Mytik. His other hand gets grabbed by the Mytik. The Mytik goes in for a sting, but it never connects. Yellow blood drips out of its forehead and down onto Cedar. As it falls over, we see that Ursa embedded a fire axe in the thing’s head.]
Cedar: Thanks.
Ursa: Secure that blaster better.
Cedar: Look out!
[Ursa gets grabbed by another Mytik jumping in through the window. It’s got her pinned and tries stabbing at her, but she dodges her head just in time. It hits her hair instead. Cedar rushes for the blaster and shoots at the Mytik. As its skin gets singed, it turns to Cedar angrily. A third Mytik grabs Cedar’s wrists.]
[The Mytik holding down Ursa smiles at Cedar. Cedar panics and looks around. He notices his hand still with its fresh cut. Cedar squeezes his palm until the blood pours out. It’s able to lubricate his wrists and he pulls himself out, just in time to miss getting stung by the tail. Cedar grabs a fallen tooth brush and uses the back of it to stab the Mytik in the eye. The Mytik lets go of Cedar, and the one holding down Ursa rushes after him. Cedar picks up the fire extinguisher and blasts at him. Then at both of them. This allows Ursa to hack off both of their heads with the fire axe.]
[Cut to sometime later, Ursa sitting breathless. Cedar sits next to her and hers her a cola.]
Cedar: Drink?
[Ursa grabs it and drinks vigorously.]
Ursa: Oh god, I missed this (burp).
Cedar: So you are a human after all.
Ursa: And you’re not totally useless.
[Ursa smiles and shoves his shoulder. Then she looks to this window.]
Ursa: I think that they’re done with this street. We can wait here for awhile until the heat dies down.
[Cedar grabs his legs as he debates what he wants to say.]
Cedar: My house…
Ursa: Is only a couple blocks away. I know.
Cedar: Ursa, you can’t expect me to leave them for dead.
Ursa: I think it’s clear I don’t know what to expect from you.
Cedar: We have to at least try—
[Ursa stands up.]
Ursa: Mother, father, sister, right?
Cedar: A-and dog.
Ursa: And dog. That’s six, including you and me. The Mytiks are watching this town with satellite accuracy, their beady eyes drawn specifically to stampedes. Why do you think I’m here without backup?
Cedar: I need… a minute.
[Ursa looks to her watch.]
Ursa: I don’t think we have a minute.
Cedar: Last thing I said to my sister…I called her a brat. A fucking brat.
[Ursa puts her hands on Cedar’s shoulders.]
Ursa: Listen to me. It hurts. It’s going to hurt for awhile. And from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry that any of this happened. There will be time to deal with it. That time is not now. Lingering here is just… going to add to the death count.
Cedar: You’ve… lost too, huh?
[Ursa nods.]
Ursa: Fill your backpack before we go.
Cedar: What, they don’t have snacks in space?
Ursa: They do, it’s just— Palmer ain’t going to be using it anymore.
[Cedar grabs some junk food and places it in his backpack. As he looks in, he sees some things there. Math textbook, yearbook, couple of notebooks, and pencils, comic book, the cook book, an old fashioned portable game system, and an mp3 player.]
[Cut to the two of them moving through the city. A bus explodes besides them, and Ursa pushes Cedar to the ground. Cedar looks up and sees the remains of Patrick. His corpse is half-eaten. Cedar stands up, and then throws up. Ursa pats his back.]
Ursa: [Gently] Come on, this way.
[Cut to Ursa & Cedar hiding in a bush. High up above the city, we see what looks like floating eyeball robots. They scan lights on the Earth. A crowd of people is running down a highway, and that attracts the eyeball robots. Cut back down to Ursa & Cedar, there’s screaming the background. The two of them cross the field and go into the forest. Eventually they make it to a clearing in the middle of the woods.]
Cedar: Ursa, there’s nothing here.
Ursa: B9, disable cloaking.
[Nothing happens.]
Ursa: B9, I swear to God.
Cedar: People are getting their entrails ripped out by fucking scorpion people, Ursa. If you’ve got a spaceship—
[Ursa rolls her eyes and groans to the sky.]
Ursa: B9, Please disable cloaking.
[Only then does the ship disable its cloaking device, and it sounds like a mechanical robotic giggling.]
Cedar: Is your ship… giggling?
[Ursa opens the door and pulls Cedar inside. It’s dark for a second, but then the place lights up with a neon blue glow. Ursa runs to a control panel and presses buttons on it.]
Ursa: Epsilon!
[A lizard person appears on the screen. This is Epsilon.]
Epsilon: [Happily] Captain, you haven’t died a horrible venomous death. Does this mean we’re about to be blown to bits?
Ursa: Not if you get us the hell out of here. NOW>
Epsilon: Orders received, Captain.
[Ursa turns towards Cedar.]
Ursa: Brace yourself.
Cedar: Brace—?
[The ship takes off and both of them go flying, getting knocked to the floor. A video panel turns on, showing a teenage girl with a long ponytail and a skirt suit and ribbon with glowing neon trim. This is B9, or Bee.]
B9: Ooh, captain, who did you bring on board?
[ursa gets up and straightens out her uniform.]
Ursa: Cedar. I’ve told you about him.
B9: When you said that he was a hunk, you weren’t lying!
[Ursa blushes.]
Ursa: I didn’t—the last time I saw him, he was 10.
B9: Well, he’s not 10 no more. Obviously.
[Cedar gets up and looks at the holographic screen.]
Cedar: Who the hell are you?
Ursa: That’s the personality module of the ship, B9.
B9: I’d say that you could call me Bee, but you can call me whatever you want.
Cedar: Okay, how about annoying?
[B9 looks angry. The lights turn red. The ship does a loop, knocking both of them down.]
Epsilon: {Intercom} Captain, I seem to have temporarily lost control of the ship. Don’t worry, I calculate only a 30 percent chance of us dying a horrible fiery death before leaving the Earth’s atmosphere.
[Ursa starts getting up as the lights turn blue.]
Ursa: Thank you for the insight, Epsilon. B9 is very… temperamental.
[B9 feigns an innocent look.]
B9: Hey, I deserve some respect. I am literally carrying this team, Captain.
[Ursa offers her hand and helps Cedar get back up.]
Cedar: Why the hell does a spaceship need a personality?
B9: Gee… a bunch of teenagers alone in space, lightyears away from civilization. Know that each day could be their last without any supervision. What could possibly go wrong?
Cedar: You’re a teenager.
B9: Well, yeah. It’d be creepy if I was an adult watching you eat. And sleep. And shower.
[B9 enjoys the thought.]
Cedar: You’re messing with me, right?
[Ursa is about to leave the room.]
Ursa: Come on, let’s get you to medbay.
[Cut to them in the hallway.]
Cedar: B9 doesn’t really—
Ursa: It’s best not to let B9 get under your skin.
[The lights flicker and there’s a mechanical giggling sound. A holographic projection of B( leans against the wall with a smile.]
B9: What’s the matter, big guy? Got something to hide? We’re all friends here.
Ursa: B9, routine maintenance checks please.
[B9 rolls her eyes.]
B9: [Sarcastically] All systems are normal, Captain.
Ursa: Do a thorough check, partitioning the systems one by one.
B9: (Scoffs). But that’ll take hours.
Ursa: Then get started and you’ll be done quicker.
B9: [Angrily] You’re no fun, Captain.
[Cut to Ursa and Cedar walking through the halls. The ship is strangely designed with many different passageways. There are strange machines dotting the halls.]
Ursa: B9 can be a lot to handle, but you will get used to her antics in time.
Cedar: She’s not really… you know…
Ursa: What do I know?
Cedar: Into um…
[Ursa gives Cedar a playful smile.]
Ursa: Strange, it usually takes years for a human’s English to get this rusty.
Cedar: Does the robot want to fuck me? You happy now?
Ursa: Yes.
Cedar: Yes?
Ursa: Yes.
Cedar: To which question?
Ursa: Yes.
[Cedar looks very baffled.]
Cedar: The robot is programmed to—
Ursa: Yes.
Cedar: Why?
[Ursa describes things simply and deadpan, as if she’s explaining anything.]
Ursa: Because we’re teenages doing suicide missions all the time. And if we’re say… rescuing some nobody on a doomed planet, the last thing that should be on our mind is our hormones.
[Ursa gives a very crooked smile.]
Ursa: You happy now?
[The two of them stop walking.]
Cedar: Wait, this crew really is just teenagers.
Ursa: I think I stated at some point, Junior Star Scouts.
[The two of them begin walking again. Cut to them going down a sloped hallway.]
Cedar: And they really let you got on missions like this.
[Ursa stops to laugh.]
Ursa: Let us. Let us go on these missions. I miss Earthling attitudes.
Cedar: I don’t understand.
Ursa: As Junior Star Scouts, we get the most dangerous death defying missions possible. Because we’re juniors. Our mommies and daddies have lived longer, and have so much more experience, so their lives are less… disposable. And sometime if we’re very smart or lucky, we’ll have earned more cushy positions.
[Beat.]
Cedar: That’s awful.
[Ursa says this with a consistent smile.]
Ursa: It’s almost like you’re traveling through the cold of space after your home was brutally harvested by warmongering scorpions. While you have hangups about girls.
Cedar: That’s a low blow.
Ursa: I’m your commanding officer. I’m allowed low blows.
[They stop in front of the medbay door. The opposite side window shows Jupiter, red spot visible. Ursa puts her hand on Cedar’s should and gives him a solemn smile.]
Ursa: No matter what happens now, we are in this together.
Cedar: Thanks, Ur—Captain.
Ursa: Life will be different. Very different. But if any part of that kid I left behind on Earth is still in there, you will survive. Now you need to get your checkup, and I need to get to the control deck.
[Ursa starts walking off.]
Cedar: Wait, I have on more question.
[Ursa rolls her eyes but keeps her smile.]
Ursa: Yes, B9 will know what’s on your medical file. Don’t worry, the only one she’s allowed to tell about it is me.
Cedar: No—what? No.
[Ursa turns around.]
Ursa: Well, what’s the question then?
Cedar: Do you um… want to eat lunch together? Or breakfast. Or whatever meal is next.
[Cedar turns and then groans at himself.]
Cedar: Such a stupid question…
Ursa: Sure, Rookie. See you at dinner.
Cedar: T-thank you.
[Ursa walks away, and as she does this, we see her smile and gently shake her head.]
[Cut to Cedar alone. He looks at the medbay door and opens it. There’s no one else in the room, and there are more strange devices inside. There’s a second door towards the back wall. Cedar enters and sits down on a table. The door closes, causing Cedar to jump slightly.]
[He looks nervous, and then the actual doctor comes in; a Mytik in a Star Scout uniform with a red cross. This is Beckett. Cedar grabs a UV drip. And uses it to put distance between himself and Beckett. He speaks with a slight hiss]
Cedar: Shit, one of them got aboard!
Beckett: If you could put that down please, I’d very much like to get this examination done.
Cedar: You can… talk?
Beckett: It’s important when you’re the doctor on a starship.
Cedar: But you’re— you want to eat me.
[Beckett swings his tail at Cedar, causing him to drop the UV drip in panic. But then Cedar notices that the stinger is missing, and it just bounces off his shoulder.]
Beckett: Satisfied? My name is Beckett.
Cedar: … Cedar.
[Beckett starts typing on a holographic computer.]
Beckett: The human that the Captain was telling us about, okay. Let’s see… if I can do this.
Cedar: You’re not… going to eat me?
[Beckett just looks at Cedar.]
Cedar: Sorry, I’m just—
Beckett: Rude?
Cedar: New to this aliens thing.
Beckett: You’ll get used to it.
[There’s a bing. Beckett rushes over to a desk and pulls out a glowing yellow rod and starts using it to examine Cedar as if it were UV light.]
Cedar: I suppose I’ll just leave the questions to you then.
Beckett: Would be for the best… Cedar, was it?
Cedar: Uh yeah.
Beckett: So, how long have you been pregnant?
Cedar: What!?
[Beckett points to Cedar’s adams apple.]
Beckett: Your egg sack is swollen.
Cedar: That’s not my— that’s an adam’s apple. What kind of doctor are you?
[Beckett pokes it.]
[B9 appears in her holographic form.]
B9: What do you expect? The only human he has frame of reference is well… Ursa. Ooh, imagine what he’s going to think when you drop your pants.
[Beckett walks over to the computer and starts typing.]
Cedar: You’ve got to tell him that I’m… different.
B9: No can do. Everyone’s patient file is confidential. Besides, it’s more fun this way!
Cedar: The fact that I have a… is confidential?
B9: Well, it doesn’t have to be.
[B9 winks.]
Cedar: No! No! No!
B9: Well then, have fun with your appointment!
[She disappears.]
Beckett: Ah good. Nothing too serious. Only a few bruises and scratches and a cancer on your left lung I can easily remove.
Cedar: Cancer? You’re… joking, right?
Beckett: I am never going to understand human humor. Yes, you have lung cancer. Yes, I can remove it easily. You shouldn’t even feel the operation. However…
[Beckett takes out a large needle.]
Beckett: Space travel has an adverse effect on human bone structure. As a result, I have to inject this fluid directly into your spine.
Cedar: Just let me die of cancer, doc.
[To be continued.]
Meta-information: Slated to be rated PG-13/TV-14. Animation. Ideally a hybrid animation with 2D characters and 3D environments.
So, this one is a little bit new for me. I have tried writing things geared towards older audiences before - Alone Together; Young Commando; Hellspawn. And people did like those back in the day, although I remember some of those came across as more... awkward than anything. And so I've kind strayed away, and stayed in my boundaries as my boundaries became more and more restrictive.
"The Thing with OCD" I am probably going to often echo is that you need to run towards the metaphorical fire. You know, there's the paranoia that some people will see my old writing and think blah blah blah about me or what I've created. That it's inappropriate or controversial or whatever.
So, here's a science fiction story that's going to get deep into ethical and philosophical questions about the nature of life and our place in the universe, mixed with no-holds barred violence and gore, throwing in risque humor. As... therapy, I guess.
There is more to it than that. I dunno if I've said this publicly or not yet, but one of the main themes of this year is reaching out and reconnecting to many of the people I've known. And much of the theme of this work is those old people in your life coming back into it after they've been gone. In many ways they've changed - sometimes in extreme ways, like being from outer space. But in many ways, there is plenty of that old person still in there. It's just something that's been on my mind a lot lately.
So I present "Episode 1" of Earth to Ursa. Three are written so far, and I'm planning on going as far as I can with this. It's slated to be as much of my Mystic Realities Universe as Growing Around or Forgotten Nightmares. So, expect to see more stories and more drawings when I can figure out how to draw aliens.
So, this one is a little bit new for me. I have tried writing things geared towards older audiences before - Alone Together; Young Commando; Hellspawn. And people did like those back in the day, although I remember some of those came across as more... awkward than anything. And so I've kind strayed away, and stayed in my boundaries as my boundaries became more and more restrictive.
"The Thing with OCD" I am probably going to often echo is that you need to run towards the metaphorical fire. You know, there's the paranoia that some people will see my old writing and think blah blah blah about me or what I've created. That it's inappropriate or controversial or whatever.
So, here's a science fiction story that's going to get deep into ethical and philosophical questions about the nature of life and our place in the universe, mixed with no-holds barred violence and gore, throwing in risque humor. As... therapy, I guess.
There is more to it than that. I dunno if I've said this publicly or not yet, but one of the main themes of this year is reaching out and reconnecting to many of the people I've known. And much of the theme of this work is those old people in your life coming back into it after they've been gone. In many ways they've changed - sometimes in extreme ways, like being from outer space. But in many ways, there is plenty of that old person still in there. It's just something that's been on my mind a lot lately.
So I present "Episode 1" of Earth to Ursa. Three are written so far, and I'm planning on going as far as I can with this. It's slated to be as much of my Mystic Realities Universe as Growing Around or Forgotten Nightmares. So, expect to see more stories and more drawings when I can figure out how to draw aliens.
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2014
Yeah, the "everybody fucking dies first" part is kind of concerning in that sense...
Also, isn't this the fucking premise for the unproduced Kids Next Door sequel series where Numbah One joins the Galactic KND and is the villain or something?
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2019
Unrelated I know but I love how sabersparks avatar looks nothing like his actual self. My guess he designed back in hs or when he still did look like that and never bothered to change it once he started going fat and bald.
On a more topical note. Has enough data on Ryan been gathered to at least prepare a prospering grounds thread? The world must never forget that Ryan is the epitome of the fake tranny. A creepy groomer hiding behind the lgbbqrstuvwxyz shield all while making 0 effort to be his so called gender identity. Instead hiding behind a fake avatar of his apg self and a fake possibly filtered to hell voice
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2018
I know this is probably a few weeks too late but I decided to make a supercut of Enter's Star Giant video. I tried to keep it as short as possible by limiting it to either stuff I found funny or stuff that was relevant to the case and it still ended up being twelve minutes long. If you want to show your friends an hour long video without showing them the full thing I guess use this.
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2021
If I recall Pan eventually did apologized to Mr Enter over that.
Jon is never going to move on with his life from 'adult man yells at cartoon' is he?
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2022
He did. I specifically remember him and Saberspark apologizing. I know a couple others did but I don’t remember off the top of my head.
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2019
If this fucking guy is the most sane out of the entire community, I am morbidly curious as to who's the actual worst.
I have a feeling the predators within these groups aren't even the worst of the bunch.
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2019
Enter's completed half of that Billboard 100 project he was working on. Due to copyright, it's been completed as a series of journals on his DeviantArt instead of a video.
There's about as many songs with overt sexual themes as you'd expect, including a concerning number of pedophilia-coded ones near the bottom.
There's about as many songs with overt sexual themes as you'd expect, including a concerning number of pedophilia-coded ones near the bottom.
100. David Guetta ft. Bebe Rehxa - I'm Good (Blue) and David Guetta ft. Akon - Sexy Bitch
99. Prince - Batdance
98. Hinder - Lips of an Angel
97. Silento - Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)
96. Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainer - Marvin Gaye
95. James Blunt - You're Beautiful
94. Crash Test Dummies - Mmm mmm mmm mmm
93. Jesse McCartney ft. Ludacris - How Do You Sleep?
92. Breakout Animated Movie Covers (ex. Elton John - Can You Feel the Love Tonight)
91. Pat Boone - Speedy Gonzales
90. Justin Bieber - Yummy
89. Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do
88. Creed - My Sacrifice
87. Enrique Iglesias - Tonight (I'm Fucking You)
86. Barbra Streisand and Bryan Adams - I Finally Found Someone
85. Pseudo Echo - Funkytown
84. Donna Fargo - Funny Face
83. Baauer - Harlem Shake and Ylvis - What Does the Fox Say
82. Roger - I Want to Be Your Man
81. 4 Non Blondes - What's Up
80. Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
79. LFO - Summer Girls
78. 20 Fingers ft. Gilette - Short Dick Man
77. Maxine Nightingale - Lead Me On
76. Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake - Carry Out
75. Walker Hayes - Fancy Like
74. Jvke - Golden Hour
73. Dick and Dee Dee - The Mountain's High
72. Fergie - London Bridge
71. The Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up
70. Jadakiss ft. Anthony Hamilton - Why?
69. Jimmy Soul - If You Wanna Be Happy
68. Gwen Stefani - Wind It Up
67. Harry Chapin - Cat's in the Cradle
66. Joe Cocker - You Are So Beautiful
65. Daniel Powter - Bad Day
64. Ike & Tina Turner - It's Gonna Work Out Fine
63. Justin Timberlake - Not a Bad Thing
62. Brook Valentine ft. Lil John & Big Boi - Girlfight
61. Kelis - Milkshake
60. Meghan Trainor - Dear Future Husband
59. Bobbi Martin - For the Love of Him
58. Jimmy Castor Band - Troglodyte (Cave Man)
57. Ronnie Milsap - There's No Getting Over Me
56. Robin Thicke ft. T.I. & Pharrell - Blurred Lines
55. 3Oh!3 ft. Kesha - My First Kiss
54. Kesha ft. 30h3! - Blah Blah Blah
53. Eamon - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back)
52. Melissa Manchester - Don't Cry Out Loud
51. Three Dog Night - The Show Must Go On
50. Jim Jones ft. Ron Brownz & Juelz Santana - Pop Champagne
49. Any Song That Refers to a Woman as a "Little Girl" (ex. Tommy Roe - Sheila)
48. Sheena Easton - Sugar Walls
47. Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg - Wiggle
46. Sheck Wes - Mo Bamba
45. Beyonce - Diva
44. Eminem - Just Lose It
43. D4L - Laffy Taffy
42. Ying Yang Twins - Wait (The Whisper Song)
41. George Michael - Father Figure
40. Bubba Sparxxx - Ms. New Booty
39. 6ix9ine - Gummo
38. 50 Cent - Wanksta
37. Sonny Bono - Laugh at Me
36. BRS Kash - Throat Baby (Go Baby)
35. Dem Franchize Boyz - I Think they Like Me
34. Silk - Freak Me
33. John Mayer - Daughters
32. Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj - Dance (A$$)
31. QB Finest ft. Nas & Bravhearts - Oochie Wally
30. Ciara ft. Petey Pablo - Goodies
29. Lil Wayne ft. Cory Gunz - 6 Foot 7 Foot
28. Mario ft. Gucci Mane and Sean Garrett - Break Up
27. The Four Seasons - Candy Girl
26. Nicki Minaj ft. Drake, Lil Wayne, & Chris Brown - Only
25. Drake ft. Future & Young Thug - Way 2 Sexy
24. Rihanna ft. Chris Brown - Birthday Cake (Remix)
23. Mark Dinning - Teen Angel
22. Ray Stevens - Ahab the Arab
21. R. Kelly - Bump N' Grind
20. John Legend - All of Me
19. Chris Brown ft. Lil Wayne - Loyal
18. Jason Aldean - Try This in a Small Town
17. Donny & Marie Osmond - Morning Side of the Mountain
16. Paul Anka - You're Having My Baby
15. Chante Moore - Chante's Got a Man
14. Joanie Sommers - Johnny Get Angry
13. Songs about romancing teenagers (ex. Gary Puckett & The Union Gap - Young Girl)
12. Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs - Li'l Red Riding Hood
11. Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas - Little Children
10. Gilbert O' Sullivan - Clair
9. Mary MacGregor - Torn Between Two Lovers
8. The Black Eyed Peas - My Humps
7. Young Nudy ft. 21 Savage - Peaches & Eggplants
6. Lil Dicky ft. Chris Brown - Freaky Friday
5. Sandy Posey - Born A Woman
4. Darryl Worley - Have You Forgotten?
3. Michael Jackson - Childhood
2. David Banner - Play
1. Larry Verne - Mr. Custer
99. Prince - Batdance
98. Hinder - Lips of an Angel
97. Silento - Watch Me (Whip/Nae Nae)
96. Charlie Puth ft. Meghan Trainer - Marvin Gaye
95. James Blunt - You're Beautiful
94. Crash Test Dummies - Mmm mmm mmm mmm
93. Jesse McCartney ft. Ludacris - How Do You Sleep?
92. Breakout Animated Movie Covers (ex. Elton John - Can You Feel the Love Tonight)
91. Pat Boone - Speedy Gonzales
90. Justin Bieber - Yummy
89. Taylor Swift - Look What You Made Me Do
88. Creed - My Sacrifice
87. Enrique Iglesias - Tonight (I'm Fucking You)
86. Barbra Streisand and Bryan Adams - I Finally Found Someone
85. Pseudo Echo - Funkytown
84. Donna Fargo - Funny Face
83. Baauer - Harlem Shake and Ylvis - What Does the Fox Say
82. Roger - I Want to Be Your Man
81. 4 Non Blondes - What's Up
80. Soulja Boy - Turn My Swag On
79. LFO - Summer Girls
78. 20 Fingers ft. Gilette - Short Dick Man
77. Maxine Nightingale - Lead Me On
76. Timbaland ft. Justin Timberlake - Carry Out
75. Walker Hayes - Fancy Like
74. Jvke - Golden Hour
73. Dick and Dee Dee - The Mountain's High
72. Fergie - London Bridge
71. The Pussycat Dolls - When I Grow Up
70. Jadakiss ft. Anthony Hamilton - Why?
69. Jimmy Soul - If You Wanna Be Happy
68. Gwen Stefani - Wind It Up
67. Harry Chapin - Cat's in the Cradle
66. Joe Cocker - You Are So Beautiful
65. Daniel Powter - Bad Day
64. Ike & Tina Turner - It's Gonna Work Out Fine
63. Justin Timberlake - Not a Bad Thing
62. Brook Valentine ft. Lil John & Big Boi - Girlfight
61. Kelis - Milkshake
60. Meghan Trainor - Dear Future Husband
59. Bobbi Martin - For the Love of Him
58. Jimmy Castor Band - Troglodyte (Cave Man)
57. Ronnie Milsap - There's No Getting Over Me
56. Robin Thicke ft. T.I. & Pharrell - Blurred Lines
55. 3Oh!3 ft. Kesha - My First Kiss
54. Kesha ft. 30h3! - Blah Blah Blah
53. Eamon - Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back)
52. Melissa Manchester - Don't Cry Out Loud
51. Three Dog Night - The Show Must Go On
50. Jim Jones ft. Ron Brownz & Juelz Santana - Pop Champagne
49. Any Song That Refers to a Woman as a "Little Girl" (ex. Tommy Roe - Sheila)
48. Sheena Easton - Sugar Walls
47. Jason Derulo ft. Snoop Dogg - Wiggle
46. Sheck Wes - Mo Bamba
45. Beyonce - Diva
44. Eminem - Just Lose It
43. D4L - Laffy Taffy
42. Ying Yang Twins - Wait (The Whisper Song)
41. George Michael - Father Figure
40. Bubba Sparxxx - Ms. New Booty
39. 6ix9ine - Gummo
38. 50 Cent - Wanksta
37. Sonny Bono - Laugh at Me
36. BRS Kash - Throat Baby (Go Baby)
35. Dem Franchize Boyz - I Think they Like Me
34. Silk - Freak Me
33. John Mayer - Daughters
32. Big Sean ft. Nicki Minaj - Dance (A$$)
31. QB Finest ft. Nas & Bravhearts - Oochie Wally
30. Ciara ft. Petey Pablo - Goodies
29. Lil Wayne ft. Cory Gunz - 6 Foot 7 Foot
28. Mario ft. Gucci Mane and Sean Garrett - Break Up
27. The Four Seasons - Candy Girl
26. Nicki Minaj ft. Drake, Lil Wayne, & Chris Brown - Only
25. Drake ft. Future & Young Thug - Way 2 Sexy
24. Rihanna ft. Chris Brown - Birthday Cake (Remix)
23. Mark Dinning - Teen Angel
22. Ray Stevens - Ahab the Arab
21. R. Kelly - Bump N' Grind
20. John Legend - All of Me
19. Chris Brown ft. Lil Wayne - Loyal
18. Jason Aldean - Try This in a Small Town
17. Donny & Marie Osmond - Morning Side of the Mountain
16. Paul Anka - You're Having My Baby
15. Chante Moore - Chante's Got a Man
14. Joanie Sommers - Johnny Get Angry
13. Songs about romancing teenagers (ex. Gary Puckett & The Union Gap - Young Girl)
12. Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs - Li'l Red Riding Hood
11. Billy J. Kramer and the Dakotas - Little Children
10. Gilbert O' Sullivan - Clair
9. Mary MacGregor - Torn Between Two Lovers
8. The Black Eyed Peas - My Humps
7. Young Nudy ft. 21 Savage - Peaches & Eggplants
6. Lil Dicky ft. Chris Brown - Freaky Friday
5. Sandy Posey - Born A Woman
4. Darryl Worley - Have You Forgotten?
3. Michael Jackson - Childhood
2. David Banner - Play
1. Larry Verne - Mr. Custer
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2022
- Joined
- Feb 6, 2023
Has he given a reaction to this yet? I’m aware this guy was a huge sperg when it came to this show and I’m curious.
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2022
- Joined
- Mar 3, 2024
- Joined
- Dec 19, 2019
Gave it a watch a while back, it's really just Enter's video on Ryan with an annoying woman trying to be funny, the only interesting thing about it are the interviews, and even then they barely have new info, besides Enter's FtM friend having a crysis because Ryan said she was faking being trans.